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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23725777">Of Life and Love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlesbesoins/pseuds/onlesbesoins'>onlesbesoins</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Criminal Minds (US TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, FWB, Friends to Lovers, Longing, Slow Burn, Sweet idiots that are ridiculously in love wth each other, They Are Idiots, but idiots, they have zero communication skills</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 10:08:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>127,085</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23725777</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlesbesoins/pseuds/onlesbesoins</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Before Doyle, Emily and Derek had an arrangement.  It was unorthodox but it worked for them.  Then Emily died.<br/>She’s back now and neither are sure their lives will ever be the same.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Derek Morgan/Emily Prentiss</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>119</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>157</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Etchings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my first Criminal Minds fic - I’ve just started watching the series during quarantine and I’m on s7.  Any comments would help.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>“When the sun has set, no candle can replace it.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>At first their relationship had been forged by long nights, tough cases and too much tequila.  If the team knew, they never let on. They left before the sun had breached and left with no sign that the other was there, minus their scent on the other’s pillows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Neither were in a place for a relationship, and they knew that with their jobs, relationships were hard to keep.  Rossi and Hotcner were the poster children for failed marriages due to their jobs. So what they had, the easiness of it, it was good.  Until it wasn’t. Neither was suer when it changed, when they changed. Maybe it was when Morgan stayed over and they started to drive to work together.  Or maybe it was when Prentiss wore his Chicago Bears jersey to the annual. Redskins game that the team went to every year. Or maybe it was when Morgan went out and ignored every lady that hit on him, preferring to use the time to trade texts with Emily.   However and whenever it happened, it happened. They went from easy friends with benefits to a couple without ever acknowledging it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then Ian Dolyle happened, or the fallout of Ian Doyle happened.  Seven long months he thought that he had lost her. For seven long months he mourned her death harder than the rest of the team, which was saying something considering the fact that Reid had cried in JJ’s arms for 10 weeks straight.  Seven long months he drank, he worked out, he put himself through his own penance. Had he been able to get there just a few seconds earlier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then it happened.  Then the dam broke and Hotch and JJ told them the secret.  The secret that Emily wasn’t dead. He went through every emotion possible in seconds.  The anger at his boss and his friend, that they would keep that news away from HIM. The relief, that Emily was still alive.  The sadness, that whatever they had was gone. And then the happiness and joy that washed over him finally seeing her. His vision was clouded with tears that he blinked away quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t tear his eyes away from her.  She walked in like nothing had changed, but they all knew that things could never be the same.  Their eyes met and she dropped her head.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry.”  She whispered, so soft even he had to strain to hear her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t until the case was solved that they had some time alone.  A few moments before boarding the jet, but still some time alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned slowly, his face set and hard.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek, I’m so sorry.”  She whispered, her voice wavering.  “But we couldn’t tell anyone…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew why and he didn’t fault her for it.  If she hadn’t - if JJ and Hotch hadn’t - Emily would definitely be dead,  Swallowing his anger and his pride, Derek walked over and wrapped his arms around her in a gentle hug.  He held her against his chest and pressed his lips to the top of her head. “I’m so fucking happy that you’re alive.”  He whispered softly. “I...I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me neither.  I couldn’t contact anyone, no social media...he would’ve…”. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek shook his head and pressed a finger to her lips.  “Stop. I get it. You had to stay safe and I’m glad that JJ and Hotch were able to help you in doing that.”  He held her softly, until the rest of the team arrived and he reluctantly let her go. If he could, he would’ve held her for the rest of the trip home and for however long she would’ve let him.  But not here, not right now. Things were balanced precariously, not just between them, but between everyone and he knew he couldn’t ruin it.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So he would wait.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At least for now, he knew that she was safe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sitting across from her in the jet, he couldn’t help but smile, listening to the softness of her voice fill the small cabin and her laugh, the tinkling and dancing raindrops, wrap around him.  And for the first time in seven months, he felt the weight, the tightness that had wrapped itself around his chest, loosen and lift. He would be alright. He would go home to an empty house tonight, but he would sleep without nightmares.  He would sleep without waking up in a cold sweat. He would wake up without the heavy vengeance in heart. He would wake up knowing that Emily Prentiss was alive and right now that’s all he needed.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They fell back into an easy rhythm at work, paired together more often than not.  Their conversations, full of playful banter, was back as well. It was like she had never left.  Almost.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She could feel his eyes on her, but whenever she turned to look he was looking away.  He was as protective as ever, perhaps more so. He always took that half step in front of her, just in case.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They fell back into whatever rhythm they had before, though this time it was over rum than over tequila.  Emily claimed that tequila gave her a headache, but they both knew it was because of the memory that tequila held for both of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She awoke, sore but sated, staring down at his chiseled chest, her fingers trailing over his tattoo with butterfly touches.  She though that she had memorized every tattoo, every little dot of ink that adorned his body, but there was something new. Small.  Something that no one would know unless he was topless and you looked close. The name Emily, written in her tight neat script and then 2011.  The year she died. Sitting up and pulling the sheet with her, Emily looked down at Derek. He flushed, his skin growing warm and he sat up slowly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s my signature.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And the date.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shrugged.  “I thought I lost you and I wanted something to remember you by.  You had some papers on your desk that had your signature on it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her fingers traced over the new ink on his skin.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can get it removed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.  Keep it.”  She didn’t elaborate on her feelings about it, but got out of bed and grabbed her underwear and bra that were tossed aside.  “I’ll see you at work. I’m gonna go home and shower and change my clothes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek arched his eyebrows.  “They know. About us. Everyone does.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shrugged and tugged on her clothes.  “They might, but at least this doesn’t feed into their gossip.”  She said leaning over and kissing him strongly. “I’ll see you at work.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Derek watched Emily grab the rest of her clothes, tugging on her jacket.  “Hey Em,” He called out, watching as she turned slowly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The words were heavy on his tongue and he gave her the cocky smile she was so used to, and loved seeing.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My turn to grab coffee for the teams.  Anything special?” He asked nonchalantly, covering up the comment he really wanted to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just my usual.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Black, with a sticky bun.”  Derek repeated watching as Emily gathered her things.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll see you at work, Derek.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”  He said as he slowly got to his feet.  “See you later, Em.” Derek got up and headed for the shower.  His fingers ran over the tattoo, the ink embedded in his skin. Her name, permanently etched on his body, on his soul.  It was one of the few things that he thought he could do to memorialize the woman he loved.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loved.  He knew that he loved her.  He knew that he wanted her to be a permanent part of his life, but he didn’t know how.  He had the words, but he didn’t want her to jump. He knew, better than anyone, that their fight or flight response was higher than most people’s.  There were three options in this scenario. She ran. Like ran ran. Ran for the hills and their partnership and friendship would be fractured and never be the same again.  One of them would have to transfer units and break up the team. The second would be that she would just say no, or argue, or laugh. His ego would be crushed and the same thing would happen; their friendship would never be the same, their partnership would never be the same, and the team would break up.  Or, she could say that she loved him too. That, he didn’t know the outcome of. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, he finished up with his shower and tugged on clean clothes, running his hand to flatten the cotton long sleeved he wore.  It took him less than 5 minutes to get ready. Brush his teeth, shave, put on deodorant and then slide his feet into his shoes. It always amazed him how long it took Emily to get ready.  With other women it took, sometimes hours, to get ready. With Emily, she almost kept pace with him, and yet she looked so so gorgeous. He shook his head and grabbed his keys before heading out the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Some things never changed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Some things you got written on your skin.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Words</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After a hard case, Emily and Derek come together with different revelations.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Alright, first this isn't really my natural style of writing.  I write with more dialogue, but I wanted to try something different.  More poetic.  So we have this.<br/>And secondly, I rewrote the end of this chapter about 19 times flipping between Emily moving to London or her saying "I love you to Morgan."  This is the side that won.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>“I have something I need to get off my chest.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What’s that?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“This.” He closed his mouth over hers.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>― Kelly Moran, Give Up the Ghost</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Emily ran her fingers over the bumpy raised skin.  The shamrock that was permanently burned into her flesh.  It had taken weeks, months, to get the smell of her own burning flesh out of her mind.  But the scar remained.  A stark silent reminder of her past.  She stood in front of the mirror and stared at herself.  There were many things about her body that she disliked.  Growing up an only child and being moved from place to place never gave her a chance to set down roots.  To have friends and she turned a lot of that pain inward.  She tried to be the perfect child and her history with her yo-yo diets and more were testament to that.  There were fine scars on her body, others harsher, thicker, redder.  Some from the job, some from her teenage angst and self hatred.  But the brand, that was the thing that she wished she could remove, but she knew it was impossible.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing deeply, Emily grabbed her bra and underwear and pulled them on before finding a pair of fitted slacks and pulling on a dark purple button down.  She added her black blazer and then added a light layer of makeup before finding her boots and pulling them on.  Double locking her doors, she got into her SUV and headed to the office.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The coffee was terrible, probably Rossi’s turn to make coffee, but it was hot and she took a sip of the dark steaming liquid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek doesn’t go out anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm?”  Perfectly manicured eyebrows arched and she looked over at the blonde in front of her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Garcia shrugged and stirred her tea.  “Morgan.  Chocolate Thunder.  He doesn’t go out to bars anymore.  Or picks up chicks.”  She looked at Emily over the lip of her mug.  “Hasn’t for a while.  Since…” She motioned to Emily and gave her a small smile.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”  Emily took another sip of her coffee to fill the silence.  What do you say when someone says something like that?  Derek Morgan was a player, he dated, made the ladies swoon and then left.  He didn’t stay.  Yet, this had been going on for what, two years and he hadn’t left.  And apparently he had stopped everything else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, he’s got it good for you, Emily.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking over her shoulder at her best friend, Emily took a long swing of the coffee as she tried to formulate a response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re not together.  It’s just a…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever you say, Em.”  JJ said with a knowing smirk.  “Whatever you say.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They all gathered their warm drinks of choice, Emily’s black coffee with one Splenda , Penelope’s tea, and JJ’s coffee with two cream, and headed to the round table.  JJ and Garcia got there first, JJ taking the only empty chair that wasn’t beside the aforementioned Derek Morgan.  Emily slid into the chair and gave Derek a small smile.  He returned it with a beaming one.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The case was hard, they always were, and Emily was excited to head home  and soak in a bubble bath with a glass of wine.  She had so many things running through her mind, though her heart kept on leading her further and further away from DC.  Once the wheels finally hit the tarmac, she shouldered her go bag and headed for her car.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Em, wait up.”  Closing her eyes, Emily waited until the long even gait of Derek slowed.  She opened her eyes and gave him a small smile. “What’re your plans for tonight?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily readjusted her bag and unlocked her car.  “Me, a bathtub, and a bottle of wine.”  She said with a tired smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek reached out, his eyes darting around before gently laying on her face.  His large thumb ran over the crease between her eyes and gave her a small smile.  “How about I pick up a pizza and we can watch whatever silly movie you want?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I really want a hot bubble bath.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I never said that you couldn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily smiled as his fingers smoothed the wrinkle.  “I’ll see you soon, Derek.”  She whispered before pulling away as JJ approached.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her upscale condo had many great things about it.  The extra large bathtub was one of them.  Derek wrapped his arms around her, his fingers brushing the rough raised skin of the brand.  He rested his chin on her shoulder as the bubbles swirled around them.  “What’s wrong?”  He whispered softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shook her head, reaching back and rubbing his head.  “Nothing.”  She whispered, their voices echoing against the expensive subway tiles in the small room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lies princess, you lie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t profile me, Derek.”  She whispered, tugging his head down as she turned to meet it.  Their lips met softly as she tried to distract him and tell him what her words couldn’t.  When they finally broke for air, she slouched down deeper into the water.  His hands were gentle, rough from work, but soft with his touches.  She rested heavy against his chest, her dark hair splayed over his skin.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I adore you, Emily Prentiss.”  He whispered softly, those words are close to the three words he wanted to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stayed in the water until it grew tepid and fingers and toes were wrinkled and pruned.  She grabbed her fluffy robe and wrapped it around herself as Derek grabbed a towel.  “I’ll order a pizza and get out the wine if you want to pick the movie.”  He suggested.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Emily padded to her bedroom where she pulled on a pair of thin worn cotton pyjama pants and a long sleeved top.  She already knew that Derek would be wearing a pair of sweats and a tank top.  Sliding her feet into warm slippers, she gave her partner a smile as he passed her a glass of wine.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pizza should be here in 20 minutes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily hummed in response and linked his fingers with hers and walked over to the couch.  He sat down first, she quickly followed.  His arms wrapped around her waist, draping over her like a blanket.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t lying.”  He said softly.  “I adore you.  You are, easily, the most important person in my life.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her body tensed, but she didn’t say anything and Derek held her tightly until he felt her muscles relax.  He knew about the walls that she had built and he knew about how hard it was for her to trust others.  The irony was thick, him lecturing people on how to trust.  Regardless, he held her softly and raked his fingers softly through her dark hair, his fingertips massaging her scalp ever so slightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop,” she mumbled, though there was no strength in her voice.  “Imma fall asleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek laughed, the rumble low and deep in his chest.  “Then sleep, Princess.”  He said softly, his fingers still moving gently in her hair.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pizza.”  She mumbled, swatting feebly at his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll get it when it comes.  Just close your eyes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily grunted but she felt her eyes slip closed and her body relax.  Derek kept his fingers moving softly, slowly, his eyes washing over her body.  Sighing deeply, he watched Emily sleep.  She was unguarded, vulnerable, and incredibly beautiful.  “I love you Emily Prentiss.”  He whispered softly, his lips brushing over her hair.  They stayed like that, enveloped in silence and his arms, until her buzzer rang and Derek slid out from under her.  Emily sat up quickly and blinked a few times as Derek handed over some money and got the pizza.  He put it on the counter and got out two plates, placing two pieces on each.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t like mushrooms.”  Emily accused as she took a look at the pizza.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes narrowed again and as she took a bite.  This </span>
  <em>
    <span>casual </span>
  </em>
  <span>thing that they had, maybe it wasn’t so casual.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His lips were soft on the skin of her neck, warm and gentle, his fingers tracing the bare skin between the hem of her shirt and the edge of her pants.  She never could say no to him.  Standing up, she interlaced their fingers and she led him to her room.  They knew each other, knew each other’s bodies.  Things were </span>
  <em>
    <span>easy </span>
  </em>
  <span>between them.  Her eyes watched as his shirt got stripped away and she gave him a small smirk.  They had each other’s bodies memorized.  Her fingers knew every tattoo on his skin, the soft lines of his muscles, the way his nipples hardened at her softest touches.  He knew the gentle swell of her breasts, the way her skin pinked, and her softest moans.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They lay, in a tangle of sheets and limbs, their sweat cooling on their bodies.  Derek tangled his fingers in her hair as he kissed her, her splayed fingers were a stark white against his dark skin.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you, Emily Prentiss.”  Derek whispered against her still sweat dampened hair.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The air was thick and heavy.  He started to move when he felt her arm that was draped over him hold him tight.  “I’m moving to London.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And please tell me what you think, what you like, what you hate, what you want to see.  I'm kind of flying by the seat of my pants so any feedback is good feedback.  I also have discord if people want to discuss things!  It's Mentally Exhausted#3484</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Choices</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Morgan and Emily discuss with friends her choice to go to London and the consequences that it may have.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>“Distance is not for the fearful, it’s for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It’s for those who know a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Meghan Daum</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“How long have you known?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>SSA Aaron Hotchner glanced up from his files that were on his desk.  He closed it and looked up at Morgan before motioning to sit down at the chair across from him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That Emily is taking a one year position at Interpol? About ten days now.”  He said seriously.  “Are you asking this as a colleague or as her boyfriend?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek exhaled loudly and leaned heavily against the chair.  “I’m not her boyfriend.”  He muttered running his hands over his head.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, just a colleague would be happy for Emily.  It’s a great move up for her, and it’s only a one year position, she’ll be back in a year.”  Hotch tried to reason with the angry younger man.  He watched as Morgan wrestled with his emotions.  “Someone who is in love with her would be asking these types of questions.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The younger man shook his head and closed his eyes.  “I know.”  He mumbled.  “I don’t even know how this started.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You had sex.”  Hotch said, never one to mince words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rolling his eyes, Derek sighed.  “Well yeah, but like…</span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”  He said, attempting to emphasize his words by waving his arms.  “Feelings and stuff.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hotch sighed and steepled his fingers, looking at the younger man over them.  “I’m not sure I’m the best one to be asking relationship advice with.”  He said quietly.  “And neither is Rossi.  Or Spencer.  So maybe JJ?”  Shrugging his shoulders, Hotch sighed.  “We’ve all known about you and Emily, you know that right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What gave it away?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Before or after Ian Doyle?”  He questioned seriously.  “Before you guys shared these </span>
  <em>
    <span>looks</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  They’re hard to explain but you would have conversations without speaking and you - you would look at her when her back was turned and it was this look that you would do </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span> for her.”  Hotch watched Derek’s facial expressions soften as the younger man leaned forward.  “And then she died.  I know that Spencer took it hard, but you took it the hardest.  Now that she’s back, you never take your eyes off of her.  You’re always within arms reach of her and you get this </span>
  <em>
    <span>look</span>
  </em>
  <span>, especially when she’s facing down an unsub, that you will step in front of her if they shoot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, his chin resting on one of his hands.  “I would.”  He affirmed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hotch leaned back and opened his file again.  “I know, and I know the feeling.  But Emily is a big girl and she made up her mind and she’s going to London.  It’s only a term position so she will be back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.  It doesn’t make it any easier.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>----- ----- -----</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He told me that he loved me.”  Emily said softly before taking another shot of tequila.  “Then I told him I was moving to London.”  She set the shot glass down and stared at Penelope and JJ.  “He looked like I punched him in the balls.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ swallowed the snicker that lay on her tongue and she gave her best friend a gentle smile.  “He doesn’t want you to go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No shit.”  Emily muttered.  “When did this happen?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two blondes exchanged glances over Emily’s bowed head.  “What?  You two sleeping together?  I’m not sure of the exact date…”  Penelope started.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, not the sex.  We started that a longtime ago.”  Emily said with a flippant wave of her hand.  “It’s everything else. The </span>
  <em>
    <span>feelings</span>
  </em>
  <span> and the </span>
  <em>
    <span>emotions.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”  Shaking her head, she raked her fingers through her dark hair.  “It was supposed to be no emotions.  Just us being able to let off a little steam and now it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ sipped her beer and watched Emily intently. “Do you love him?”  She breached gently.  “Because if it was just about sex, we wouldn’t be here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily’s face darkened and she shook her hair out.  “Yeah, I do.  But...it’s done.  I’m going to London for a year.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because people have never done long distance relationships.  We’re a week on week off, well we’re supposed to be. There is time to go visit each other.  And it’s not like either of you two are hurting for money.”  JJ said as she sipped her wine.  “You could make it work, you come here on your weeks off and he goes there on his.  Imagine all of the frequent flyer miles you’d get.  Will and I made it work until he moved up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence hung heavy and pregnant and Emily looked at her best friend before shrugging.  “Yeah but you guys were…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In love?”  JJ filled in for the brunette.  “And can you actually sit here and argue that you and Morgan aren’t?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Penelope arched her eyebrows and looked at Emily.  “He stayed at my house for a month after you...you...</span>
  <em>
    <span>died.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”  She said softly.  “Crying.  Drinking.  More crying.  He wasn’t okay, Emily.  I mean the rest of us weren’t either, but Morgan, he took it so hard.  It was then when I realised why he took it so hard.  Because he was in love with you.  I mean, we all love you, Em.  But he was head over heels in love with you and he still is.”  The analyst shrugged and finished her drink.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another two shots of tequila came in front of Emily and she slammed them down quickly.  The liquor made her head spin but it calmed her mind.  “Would you have gone?”  She asked JJ.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To London to head Interpol for a year?  Hell yes, but I’m not qualified.  I have high school French, you speak what, six?  Seven languages?”  The blonde shook her head.  “It’s a great opportunity, and no one would ever fault you or blame you for taking it.  But, in saying that, you need to let Morgan know what your plans are.  If you’re going to take it and what that means for you two.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shook her head.  “Eight.  English, French, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, Russian, Arabic, and German. I mean, I care for Derek a lot...but I don’t know how to have this conversation.  I’ve never </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> this conversation before.  They don’t stick around long enough to have this conversation.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Morgan won’t leave you, you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Emily pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes.  “I know.  That’s part of the problem.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ got to her feet and reached out for her friend and motioned for Garcia to do the same.  They flanked her on either side, knowing that the numerous tequila shots were going to wreak havoc on Emily.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s get you home, Princess.”  Garcia teased  “Then we can help you pack up your gorgeous condo, but you promise me, you aren’t going to hurt that chocolate Greek God.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily’s vision swam and she blinked a few times.  “Just get me home.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is more of a filler chapter.</p><p>And I'm also going to fool around a bit with the timeline.  Blake didn't join the team - Callahan did and then leaves so Prentiss can have a position when she comes back.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Drinks</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A drunk, then hungover Emily and a sad Derek.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>-</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Marilyn Monroe</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The room was spinning.  It was really no surprise seeing as the room always spun when she was drunk.  Penelope and JJ left her in her apartment to wallow on her own pity and more alcohol if she could get her hands on it.  Lying face down on her bed, she dropped a foot to the floor to anchor herself when she heard the door open.  She was far too drunk to get up and hoped that if it was a murderer they’d do it fast and put her out of her misery.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But that was not the case.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Princess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily pressed her face into her pillow and groaned.  “Derek, I’m drunk.”  She mumbled, her foot trying to find some firm footing on her thick plush rug.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see that.  I come bearing water and advil.”  He said, his voice dropping close to a whisper.  The mattress shifted under his weight and Emily made no effort to move when she felt his hand on her back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck, Morgan.  I’m hammered.”  She mumbled her limbs heavy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you’ll be crazy hungover in a few hours.”  He said leaning against the headboard.  “So I’m here when you are.  Then we can talk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She grunted, neither in agreement or disagreement, but a sign to show that she was alive.  The room was still spinning when, slowly turned and stared at him.  “I’m going to London.”  She said softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek looked down at her and shrugged.  “I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm.”  Emily hummed as she tried to center herself, her head still swaying.  “I shouldn’t have had the last tequila shots.”  She muttered, pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A small chuckle rose from his chest.  “How many shots did you do?”  He kept his distance, fighting the urge to brush her hair off her face.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t actually remember.”  She said softly, leaning back against her headboard.  Sighing deeply, Emily brushed her hair off her face.  “We need to talk.  About this.  About us.  About where this is going.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek nodded and uncapped the bottle of gatorade, passing it to Emily.  “Sip, don’t gulp.”  He ordered gently.  Emily shot him a glare, though she was too drunk to put any venom behind it.  She took small sips of the water and exhaled softly.  Finally, her head turned slowly and she looked at Derek through tequila curtained eyes.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too.”  Emily said softly, her voice barely above a whisper.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t reply.  He always knew deep down that Emily loved him, but he also knew about the walls she had built.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Words played on his lips when the fair haired beauty shot off her bed and headed to the washroom.  She fell on her knees in front of the toilet and all of the alcohol that she had drank in the past 6 hours came up.  He sat beside her, his large hand rubbing small circles on her back.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I might die.”  She mumbled in between heaves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek laughed softly and pressed a kiss on the top of her head.  “You won’t, I promise.”  After a few minutes, Emily sat up and Derek passed her a facecloth. She wiped her mouth before standing up on doe legs. He snaked an arm around her waist and helped her up, allowing her time to brush her teeth before they made their way back to her bed.  He pulled out the bottle of gatorade and smiled gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y’know...London will be good.”  Emily mumbled as she placed the orange topped bottle on her nightstand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you’re still…”  Emily’s slight shoulders shrugged.  “We wouldn’t have to hide.  We’re not working together anymore.  No more fraternizing.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The idea of being out in the open with their relationship started a small fluttering in his stomach, a caterpillar that quickly grew to be a whole flock of butterflies.  “So you moving to London...we would still be…?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you want it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It being us.”  Derek shook his head and pressed his lips softly to her hair.  “Of course I want </span>
  <b>
    <em>it</em>
  </b>
  <span>.”  He said incredulously.  “I want us.  I want us to be able to be a normal couple.”  A smile crossed his lips.  “Is that what you were so worried about?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The breath that she didn’t even know she was holding exhaled softly and she gave Derek a small shrug.  “Yeah, part of it.”  She brushed the hair off her face with two hands and gave him a shaky smile.  The skeletons in her closet danced and she knew that eventually she would have to address them, that she would have to talk to Derek about them, but not now, not today.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If anyone can make long distance work, it’s us Princess.”  Derek said with a small smile.  He wrapped his arms around her and gently lowered them to the mattress.  “Now how about we try to get some sleep and see if we can evade a hangover for you tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She snorted softly, but closed her eyes, the room spinning but for a totally different reason.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-----</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her head pounded and she felt like she was hit by a mack truck.  Emily felt a warm hard pressure on her and after her momentary freak out she relaxed, hearing Derek’s soft snoring.  She moved slowly off the bed and closed her washroom door.  She turned the water on hot and high.  It prickled and bit into her skin, but she stood there, hoping that the hot water would pull some of the alcohol out of her system.  Once she felt well enough, she washed her hair and body before emerging from her washroom wrapped in a fluffy purple towel.  She felt better, well less hungover at least.  Derek propped himself up on his elbow and watched her silently.  He watched her graceful movements, even with the amount of alcohol still in her veins.  He watched her comb her hair, the calm even strokes through the dark curtains that washed down her back.  He watched her meet his gaze in the mirror, the smallest upturn of lips were returned with a wide toothy grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, you’re really going to London?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dark eyes glanced over an alabaster shoulder and Emily nodded.  “I’m really going to London.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He got up and stood behind her, their eyes meeting in the mirror, his arms wrapping around her slight body.  His chin rested on her shoulder, his grip tightening slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you.”  Her words were quiet, simple, almost shy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too, Em.”  Derek said softly, his eyes never leaving her in the reflection.  “Now let’s start organizing and getting your stuff ready to move.”  He said pressing a kiss on her shoulder.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dark eyebrows arched and she shook her head.  “You don’t have to help.  A lot of the stuff is going to go into storage.  It’s going to be sublet for the year.”  She shrugged.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His lips trailed a path of fire on her skin.  “Alright so we have more time to do…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A laugh, low and deep in her chest rose and she shook her head.  “Sorry, Romeo.  First I’m too hungover to do </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span> like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shrugged.  “Worth a try.”  Pulling back he found his jeans and pulled them on.  “Let’s start organizing things.”  Leaning down Derek gave her a gentle kiss.  “After we do some organizing and packing, tonight, if you’re up for it, I want to take you out.  On an actual date.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A smile crossed Emily’s lips and she couldn’t help the blush that crossed her cheeks.  “I haven’t been on a date in a really long time.”  She admitted.  “Before us...and before all of…”  She waved her hands as a way of explanation.  “I wasn’t exactly the type of girl you wined and dined.  Kind of the type of girl that you fucked in the dark and snuck out by morning.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek’s heart sunk because he knew that even without intending to, he did some of that to Emily.  “Well tonight we’ll go out.  Go for a fancy meal, go dancing, the whole nine yards because you, Emily Prentiss, deserve to be treated like the princess you are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her smile couldn’t have been any brighter.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>For some reason I got stuck on this chapter, but here it is.</p><p>Oh, and if anyone ever asks, teaching middle school online is the worst.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Date</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Derek and Emily go on their first date.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The last part of the chapter is Explicit.  If you don't want to read it, I put a line and you can skip onto the next chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation. - Kahil Gibran </em>
</p><p> </p><p>They packed boxes, dishes wrapped in newspaper or bubble wrap, labels colour coded and written in permanent marker in Emily’s small tight script.  She stacked them in the corner, labels pointing out.  Her hangover had passed, thanks to gatorade and some chia pudding.  At about 3 pm, Derek finally stood up and grabbed his jacket.</p><p>“I’ll see you at 6:30.”  He said, slipping his arms through the sleeves and toeing on his shoes.  </p><p>A look crossed her face, her dark eyebrows knitting together.  “Pardon?”</p><p>“Our date.”  Derek gave her a small half smile.  “Or did you forget already?”</p><p>Getting to her feet, Emily shrugged, a soft pink colouring her cheeks.  “I might have, and I might have thought that you had forgotten and you were just kinda screwing with me.”  She admitted honestly.</p><p>Derek took a few steps to close the gap between them and he placed his hands on her hips.  “Screwing you, yes.  Screwing with you, no.”  He grinned and pressed a soft kiss on her lips.  “I’ll see you at 6:30.  Wear something formal...and be prepared to have your mind blown.”</p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Emily had spent far too many hours on the phone with JJ, then Penelope, then Tara, and finally a facetime with all three of them to discuss the date.  She had found a red dress in her closet that she had purchased on a whim but never had the chance to wear.  The three other women came over and helped her with her hair and makeup before they snuck away a little after 6.  Emily had never been this nervous about going out on a date.  The irony was, they had done everything else but dating….it was different.  She had used her sexuality and her body to get intel, to get what she wanted.  In some cases, sex was a meaning to an end for her, but this, this was different.  Derek was different.</p><p>Her hand came up to her mouth and she jerked it away quickly.  She knew Derek and he knew her.  He knew the most intimate parts of her, this should be easy.  </p><p>But it wasn’t.</p><p>The doorbell shook her out of her thoughts and stood up to get the door.  There he stood, grey suit, black button down shirt, a red tie to offset everything.  He gave her a smile and pulled a bouquet of flowers from behind his back.  Lilies of the valley, ivory roses, lavender roses and two red roses in the middle.  No words were exchanged as he read her facial expression with a small smile of his own.</p><p>“You’ve mentioned lilies of the valley before, and the roses...ivory is for perfection, lavender is for love at first sight and red…”</p><p>She found her voice after a few long pregnant seconds of silence, her cheeks blushing a deep red.  “They’re gorgeous, Derek.”  Finding a vase, she filed it with water and placed it on her table.  She grabbed her cover along with her purse before slipping on her heels.  “So where are we going?”</p><p>Reaching for her hand, Derek interlaced their fingers and gave her a knowing smile.  “You’ll find out.”  He led her to his car, opening the door for her and carefully closing it once she climbed in.  They drove in a comfortable silence before pulling up to an expensive restaurant.  “This is just step one.”  Derek said, putting his car into park.  He walked around and helped her out, extending his arm for her.  </p><p>The table was private, quiet, with a warm ambiance.  They ate and drank, though Derek stuck to sparkling water.  The conversation came easy and they talked about everything, avoiding work.  Soon the dessert came and Emily was, almost sadly, ready to go back home.</p><p>The bill was paid and Derek extended his hand to her.</p><p>“Thanks for the date, Derek.”  Emily said with a wide smile.  “I really enjoyed it.  In fact, I think it was my best first date ever.”</p><p>“What makes you think it’s over?”  Derek asked, interlacing their fingers, bringing her hand up to press a soft kiss across her knuckles.  “The night is still young, we’re going dancing.”  A smile played across his lips as he watched her stunned expression.</p><p>Emily swallowed hard and tried to pull away, but his hand held tight.  “Mor - Derek,” Emily corrected quickly.  “I don’t go to <em> dance </em> cubs.  I...don’t…”</p><p>He fought the urge to laugh, watching Emily Prentiss, resident badass start to stumble over her words, the flush covering her cheeks.  “I know you don’t do clubs.”  Derek said with a shrug.  “That you were brought up at the best girls schools Europe and the East Coast have to offer, I don’t expect you to go to a Hip Hop bar.”  Turning the corner, he grinned seeing the piano bar with a dance floor come into view.  “That’s why I figured you’d be able to teach me a few things at a bar like this.  They play a whole array of music.”</p><p>Shaking her head, Emily stood up on her tip toes and feathered a kiss on his lips.  “You’re pretty amazing, Derek Morgan.”  She whispered softly.</p><p>“Only the best for you.”  He replied, leaning down and kissing her a few times before pulling away.  “Let’s go wow everyone.”  </p><p>Derek had rhythm.  He could move with the best of them, but Emily moved with such practiced ease and grace it almost amazed him.  Almost.  Her hips swayed to the music, her feet moved softly, each step planned and in time with the beat.  They salsaed, they walzed, they tangoed.  Soon, people stepped off the dance floor to watch them.  Their bodies were pressed together, swaying as the song changed.</p><p>Derek felt his presence before Emily the tap on her shoulder.  </p><p>“May I have this dance?”</p><p>He was younger than Derek and Emily both, and quite possibly the best male dancer on the floor.  He looked expectantly at Emily who glanced at Derek before shaking her head.  “No, I’m good, thanks.”  She slid her body against Derek’s, her hand wrapped around his back.  “I’m good.”  She whispered against his ear.</p><p>The tension he didn’t know he was carrying melted from his body and he held her tighter, the music now just whitenoise in his head as the blood pounded in his ears.  They spun slowly, their gaze never breaking.  Time seemed to slow down, her arms looped around his neck, his tight around her hips.  Their lips met softly, their tongues dancing at the same speed as their bodies.</p><p>Neither was really sure how they got back to Derek’s vehicle, but they made it there, their hands never separating.  </p><p>“This has been the best night I’ve ever had.”  She whispered as they closed the door of the car.</p><p>“Even better than your prom?”  Derek joked, starting the engine and turning to Emily.</p><p>“Better than my prom, because tonight was spent with someone I love.”  She said, her words coming easy.  There was enough alcohol in her system that it washed over her body in waves of warmth.  </p><p>His dark eyes lit up and his smile spread from ear to ear.  “I love you too, Emily.”</p><p>He wished that they had more time together before she left for London, but at the same time he questioned if they would be here together had this happened four or five years ago.  Instead of getting caught in his own head, he drove quietly to her apartment, his thumb rubbing softly over the back of her hand.  </p><p>“Do you want to come up?”  She asked as he pulled into her second parking spot.  </p><p>“On our first date?”  Derek teased, batting his dark eyelashes at her.  “Well I would never take you for one of <em> those </em> girls, Miss Prentiss.”  His voice was high pitched with a fake southern accent that never ceased to make her smile.  </p><p>She shrugged and gave him a smirk.  “Well, if you don’t want to, that’s fine too.”</p><p>The engine shut off and he smiled.  “All night every night if I could, Princess.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. October</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Emily and Derek try their first month of their long distance relationship.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for the delay, I'm still working from home so it's slow going.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Love will travel as far as you let it. It has no limits.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her new flat was nice.  Interpol made sure that she had everything she would ever need, everything she would ever want, but it was still...cold.  Lying on her king sized bed, she stared at her 12 ft ceilings.  She liked her job at Interpol, she liked being in charge.  But, she missed everyone at the BAU, but most of all, she missed Derek.  It was 11:30 pm in London, which meant that it was around 6:30 pm.  Sighing, she grabbed her phone and sent a quick text.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <b>Hey.  Just dropping in to say that I was thinking about you.</b>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe they were on a case.  Maybe he was out with the team.  Maybe he was out with another girl.  She put her phone on her nightstand when it buzzed.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Thinking of you too, Princess.  On our way home from a case in Utah.</b>
</p><p>
  <span>A smile tugged at the corner of Emily’s lips, and went to reply, though he was faster.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Things worked out okay in the end but it’ll be nice to be home.  Wish you were with me.  Oh, JJ says Hi.</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Shaking her head, Emily rolled over and turned on the light, sitting up against her headboard.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <b>I wish I was there too.  Hi JJ, stop reading over Derek’s shoulder.</b>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Things were still so </span>
  <em>
    <span>new</span>
  </em>
  <span> between them, she wasn’t sure if they were going to last.  </span>
</p><p>
  <b>I have holiday time.  Can I come and see you?  I miss Sergio.</b>
</p><p>
  <span>She laughed.  It was nearing midnight and she laughed.  The aforementioned black cat glared, like only a cat could and scrambled off her bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <b>Of course.  I </b>
    <span class="u">
      <b>am</b>
    </span>
    <b> the boss here, well temporarily.  And I’m not sure if Sergio misses you.  You take up his spot on the bed.</b>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily smiled and glanced at the two pictures she had bedside.  One was of her and the team, the other was of her and Derek.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>You mean he’s just keeping my spot warm, right?</b>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked down at her phone and shook her head.  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <b>Well, you get to tell him that.  Anyway, it’s midnight here and I have to be in early tomorrow.  I just wanted to message you and let you know I was thinking of you.</b>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Pressing send, her finger hovered over the screen before she quickly added something to her message.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <b>I love you and I miss you.</b>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek looked at his phone, a giant smile plastered on his face.  </span>
</p><p>
  <b>I love you and miss you too, Princess.  Sweet dreams.  See you soon.</b>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”  Derek questioned putting his phone face down in front of him.  JJ grinned and shrugged, her blue eyes dancing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’s Emily?”  She asked, a singsong lilt to her voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rolling his eyes, Derek took a sip of his water and shrugged.  “She’s going to bed.  It’s close to midnight in London and she has to work tomorrow.  But, she’s good.  It seems like she’s settled in well in London.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blonde gave him a smile, reaching out and squeezing his hand.  “You look </span>
  <em>
    <span>happy</span>
  </em>
  <span> Derek.  If Emily’s happy, then we’re all happy.  But, if you hurt Emily, I will make the rest of your life a living hell.”  She warned, the smile never leaving her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek blinked a few times, staring at the blonde who still held his hand and his gaze.  They were like family, and he knew that JJ was doing her part to “protect” her best friend and the person she had come to think of as a sister.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“JJ,”  Derek said softly, getting up and sitting beside the woman.  “I promise you that I will do everything in my power to make Emily happy, if she lets me.  I...love her.”  He ended in a whisper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blonde’s eyebrows arched and she examined her coworker silently, choosing her words carefully.  A small smile crossed her lips and she shook her head.  “No Halloween honies?”  She teased.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The darker man had the good graces to blush as much as his complexion would allow him to.  “No Halloween honies.”  Derek said with a smirk.  “Just me and Emily, if she’ll let me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ crossed her legs at the ankle and gave her friend a soft smile.  “Are you in love with her, Derek?”  She kept her voice low and quiet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek nodded softly.  “I’m not sure what love is, but I hope that this is what it’s supposed to feel like.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like you’re scared, and excited, and nervous and incredibly happy, but still kind of want to puke all the time?”  The blonde offered with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Basically.” Derek smiled.  “D’you think Hotch’ll let me have the week off?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ shrugged and gave Derek a smile.  “Won’t know unless you try.”  She got to her feet and squeezed his shoulder as she walked away, heading for Reid who was sitting across from Rossi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>SIghing, Derek got up and walked over to the Unit chief, sitting down across from him.  He watched until the older man looked up from the files he was going through before Hotch put them down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I take a week off?”  Derek asked suddenly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hotch raised his eyebrows and looked down at his files.  “When were you thinking, Morgan?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek shrugged.  “Next week?  I have lots of vacation days piled up and I’d like to...you know...use’m.”  He finished lamely.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll see what I can do.”  Hotch said, looking back down at his files.  “Put in the request with HR and we’ll go from there.  I mean, we can get along without you for a week.”  He paused and looked up at Morgan.  “Say hi to Emily for me, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Derek gave the unit chief a small smile.  “Yeah, I will.”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>He landed in Heathrow after a thankfully uneventful flight.  Grabbing his bags, he turned and scanned the crowd, spotting her easily.  Her face broke into a wide grin when their eyes met and she quickly walked over, wrapping her up in a tight hug, his face burying in her hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stayed like that, with the world bustling and rushing around them, their bodies pressed together and intertwined.  After what seemed like hours, he slowly pulled away, looking down and cupping her face.  “Hi.”  Derek whispered softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their lips met softly, kissing gently.  He felt her hand on his chest and they slowly parted.  “Hi.”  Emily whispered in return.  “I have a car parked outside.”  Taking his hand, she interlaced their fingers and led him towards the car port.  He tossed his duffle in the back seat and walked around the car, finding an amused Emily starting at him.  “Planning on driving?”  She asked with a laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek looked at her and then into the vehicle.  “Shit.”  He muttered, shaking his head.  “I wish I could blame jetlag.”  He joked walking around to the other side and climbing in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily grinned and slid into the driver’s seat.  “Took me a little while to get used to, too.”  She admitted.  “Though I’ve lived overseas before so I adjusted better than most Americans in London.”  She said as they headed off towards her apartment.  Thankfully her place was funded by Interpol because there was no way she would be able to live in Chelsea otherwise.  She pulled into the underground parking and gave him what could only be described as a shy smile.  They made their way up to her apartment, their fingers intertwined.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The lights of London filled the room and he put his bag down on the floor.  “I missed you.”  He whispered, wrapping her up in his embrace.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I missed you too.”  Emily replied into his chest, resting her cheek against the soft cotton of his shirt.  She inhaled deeply and allowed herself to relax.  He smelled like the soft lavender of his laundry detergent, his spicy aftershave, and something that was just </span>
  <em>
    <span>him.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  Home.  He smelled like home.  He pressed a soft kiss on the top of her head before they pulled away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s kinda surreal that you’re standing here.”  Emily admitted as she bent down to take off her boots and place them in the corner.  Derek followed suit and Emily led him through her condo.  It was early in London, though his body was struggling with jumping time zones and an ocean.  “I have stuff planned for us.”  She said with a smile.  “I have the week off.  But, that’s tomorrow.  Today...you can get your bearings.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek smiled and took her hand, leading her to the couch against the wall.  Their bodies melded together, her slotting between his legs, his arms wrapped around her body.  He peppered kisses on her neck, as they just relaxed together.  It wasn’t long before she felt his breathing even out and his grip relax and she knew he was asleep.  It was only 10 am in London, but she reached over and draped a blanket over them and closed her eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <span>If he was being honest, the nap on the couch was one of the best sleeps he had in a really long time.  Derek awoke slowly, his arm tightening around Emily’s midsection.  He pressed his face into her shoulder, his lips brushing over her skin softly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I ordered some food.”  Emily said softly, turning in his embrace.  “It should be here in about 20 minutes.  Just some sandwiches from the cafe down the street.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hummed into her skin, still drowsy from sleep and crossing multiple time zones.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could hear your stomach rumbling.”  She added with a smile.  Making no effort to move, she relished in the feeling of having his arms around her.  They stayed still and silent until there was a knock at her door.  Slowly getting up, she went and paid the delivery person and sat down two two sandwiches, two cookies, and a large bottle of flavoured sparkling water.  Setting everything up on the coffee table in front of them, she gave him a grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Things were easy between them, it always was.  For two people with walls as the Hoover Dam, it was amazing how simple things were between them.  At least the sex and domestication were easy.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>They sat in the middle of Hyde Park, people watching and cuddling on the bench.  The week had flown by and they had been able to do some touristy things, but they mostly enjoyed their time together as a couple.  Derek wrapped his arm around her shoulders and sighed.  “I kind of don’t want to leave tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I kind of don’t want you to leave tomorrow.”  Emily replied.  “But think, one month down, 11 to go.  I’ll come next month, October, then you come in November, and then I’ll take two weeks and I’ll come back to the States of Christmas.”  She said turning to him.  “We can do it, and let’s be honest, at the BAU couples don’t see very much of each other so I think a week at a time is doing good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded slowly.  “Do you want to come to Chicago for Christmas?  With me and my family, unless you want to spend Christmas with yours.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pretending to think, Emily pulled out her phone.  “Let me check my schedule.”  She mused before her facade cracked and she gave him a wide grin.  “Of course, that sounds amazing.”  She said snuggling into his side.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you come as my…”  He bit his lower lip.  “Partner?  Lover?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shrugged and cupped his face, kissing him softly.  “Whatever you want.  I feel we’re a bit past the boyfriend/girlfriend thing, but yeah, partner works.”  She whispered against his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the morning she dropped him off at the airport, sticking around to watch the plane takeoff.  She pulled out her phone and sent him a quick message.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Four weeks.</b>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. November</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Emily comes back to DC for a visit.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“Our hours in love have wings; in absence, crutches.”</em>
</p><p>Miguel de Cervantes</p><hr/><p>“So how is Emily?”</p><p>Derek looked up from his tablet and gave Rossi a smile.  “She’s good.  She’s really good.  She’s doing an amazing job at Interpol, kind of wish she wasn’t doing such an amazing job so they aren’t tempted to keep her.”  He leaned back in his chair and linked his fingers behind his head.  “She’s...Emily.  Amazing, smart, beautiful.  Nothing’s changed.”  He couldn’t fight the grin that was wide on his face.</p><p>Sitting down across from the younger agent, Rossi nodded.  “Does Emily know that you’re sitting here gushing about her?”  He teased, with a small chuckle.  “Because I feel like she’d kick your ass if she knew.”</p><p>Laughing, Derek shrugged.  “What she doesn’t know won’t hurt me.”  He said settling his chair back down.  “But, between you and me man, I really miss her.”</p><p>Rossi arched his eyebrows, “Trust me, Morgan.  You’re not that secretive when it comes to Emily Prentiss.”</p><p>Derek gave him a grin and shook his head.  “What can I say man.”  He said, leaving the words hang.</p><p>The older man shook his head and got to his feet.  “Nothing.  When you are <em> innamorati </em>, there’s nothing to say.”</p><hr/><p>Emily rubbed her temples as she signed off on the last file that came across her desk.  She loved being in London, and she loved being in charge of her own section, but she missed the US.  She missed her friends, and most of all, she missed Derek Morgan.  It took her the rest of the hour to finish her files before she grabbed her small carry-on bag and headed out of the office.  Heading to the airport, she sat in first class, put on her noise cancelling headphones and pulled out a book.  She was used to the international flights, but everything seemed so new.  She was no blushing virgin by any means, but everything with Derek felt like the first time.  She smiled to herself and tried to focus on the book in front of her, despite reading the same paragraph over and over again.  Finally she put her book down and took off her headphones, ordering herself a glass of red wine.</p><p>“Who are you going to see, dear?”</p><p>Glancing beside her, Emily gave the elderly lady a small smile.  “That obvious?”</p><p>“I’ve been married for 54 years,” the woman said with a light laugh.  “I can tell someone’s in love when I see them.”</p><p>Emily felt her cheeks flush and she pulled out her phone.  She felt like a teenager showing off her first boyfriend as she flipped to a picture of her and Derek.  “He lives in the US, I’m doing a year term in London.”  She said biting her lip.</p><p>The older woman looked at the picture and turned back to Emily with a smile.  “You two make a beautiful couple.”  She said honestly.  “Both of you two have amazing smiles.”  Returning her phone, the woman gave Emily’s hand a soft pat.</p><p>“Thank you.  We...worked together for years.” Emily said in a way of an explanation.  She looked down at the picture.  It was a casual one that JJ took at one of Rossi’s parties.  They weren’t even officially <em> together </em> yet, but the picture told the story that everyone, minus except them, already knew.  They were sitting on a bench, Derek’s body turning into hers, him straddling the bench and Emily sitting between his legs.  One arm was casually wrapped around her middle, both of them looking up at something, or someone, laughing.  Their smiles reached their eyes, both brown and sparkling.  Emily’s hand rested on his thigh, leaning back against them.  They were happy.  Honestly and truly happy. For two people that had many skeletons and lots of baggage in their closets, the look of happiness and calm was rare.  But she had photographic evidence of it.  Her wine came and she took a long sip before looking over at the woman beside her.  “I apologize, I didn’t introduce myself, I’m Emily.”</p><p>“Glenda.”  The white haired woman said with a smile as her gin and tonic arrived.  “It’s nice to meet you, Emily.  So, tell me about this beautiful man in the picture.”</p><p>Leaning back in her seat, Emily took a long drink of her wine before carefully placing it on her tray.  “Well, like I said we worked together…”</p><p>The time flew by as they spoke.  Emily learned that Glenda had a granddaughter in Devon, hence her trip to England, and Glenda learned all about Derek and the rest of the BAU.  The plane landed and they disembarked, Emily helping the older woman out.  </p><p>“I see your man.”  Glenda whispered, leaning against Emily.  </p><p>Emily looked over and saw Derek standing, his hands in his pockets, a small smile on his face. </p><p>“Go.”  Glenda said, patting her arm gently.  “My son is here, I’ll be fine.”  </p><p>Once they hit the bottom of the escalator, Emily made sure that Glenda was in the safe hands of her son before slinging her bag over her shoulder and walking quickly towards Derek.  It shouldn’t happen like in the movies where people move and you end up in each other’s arms, but it did.  She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly.  They stayed like that until a loud whistle broke them up that filtered into claps and cheers.</p><p>“Seriously?”  She whispered against his lips.  “The team is here?”</p><p>“Don’t blame me, blame Garcia.  She was the one that “found” your travel plans.”  He said making air quotes.  “They miss you too.  In a totally different way, but they miss you.”</p><p>Emily buried her face in his neck for a few long moments before looking up, a blush covering her face.  “Hey guys.”  Taking a step back, she gave the team a smile.  Penelope rushed towards her, wrapping her up in a tight hug.  Once she released her, JJ walked up and gave her an apologetic smile. “I’m so sorry.”  She whispered with a smile.</p><p>“Supper!”  Rossi announced with flourish.  “To celebrate Emily being back stateside, even if it’s only for a few days.  I’m buying!”</p><p>Linking their hands, Emily nodded silently.  Derek smiled and pressed a kiss to her temple.  They climbed into his SUV, Derek kissing her knuckles softly.  “I’m sorry Princess, you know that when Penelope gets something in her mind there’s no way to change her mind.”</p><p>“I know.”  Emily said with a small shrug.  “It...was just surprising, but it’ll be nice to be back with everyone.”  She admitted.  “And we have a full week, we can spend the rest of the tie together.”</p><p>They fell into a comfortable silence as they drove, following Hotch and Rossi’s vehicles to the restaurant. </p><p> </p><hr/><p>“Do you know the first time you amazed me?”  Derek asked, their bodies covered in still cooling sweat, tangled in his sheets.</p><p>“Hmm?  First time we had sex?”  Emily replied, rolling over and propping herself up on her elbow, a smile playing on her lips.</p><p>Rolling his eyes, Derek stretched above his head and situated himself across from Emily.  “No, though it was mind blowing.  It was the first case you worked with the team - when you went to Gitmo.”</p><p>“Oh?”  Emily frowned slightly.  “You stayed back in DC.”</p><p>Derek nodded.  “Yeah, but you opened the file and started translating Arabic like it was nothing.”  He said softly.  “Even the boy genius was impressed.  Then you had your go bag ready and it was like you were made to do this.”</p><p>Her dark eyes narrowed and she gave him a soft smile.  “That was years ago, Derek.  Back, when you still called me Prentiss and I could only call you Morgan.”  She said reaching out and tracing her signature on his skin.</p><p>“Mmmm hmmm.  Not gonna say that I fell for you then, but you intrigued me.”  He admitted arching his eyebrows.  “And then every day you surprised me, me beautiful.”  Reaching down, he took her hand and pressed a few kisses on her palm.</p><p>Emily smiled and slid closer to him.  “Well I won’t say that I wasn’t attracted to you when I first saw you...but the more we worked together...the more we got to know each other…”  She shrugged and fluttered a few soft kisses on his bare chest.</p><p>“I love you.”  He said softly, raking his fingers through her hair, massaging her scalp softly.</p><p>Pressing a few fleeting kisses, she looked up at him and smiled.  “I love you too.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p>Despite her history of extensive international travel, jet lag still got to Emily, but she wouldn’t let anyone know.  Burying deep in the heavy blankets of Derek’s bed, she exhaled softly, her head and brain still heavy with sleep.  </p><p>“Morning, Princess.”</p><p>Sitting up, Emily rubbed her eyes and stretched.  She slipped out of bed and grabbed a Tshirt and a clean pair of underwear and pulled them on.  His dark eyes followed her, a smile on his face.  “Morning.”  She mumbled sleepily.  Looking down at her watch, she shook her head.  10am, later than she would sleep in normally.  “Why didn’t you wake me up?”</p><p>The grin flashed across his face and Derek wrapped his arms around her.  “You were too beautiful sleeping like that.  And I made breakfast.”  Nuzzling in her neck, he pressed a few soft kisses.  “Whenever you’re ready.”</p><p>Emily relaxed in his embrace and nodded.  “Let me go to the washroom and wash up and I’ll put on pants.”  She said softly, looking up and giving him an ear to ear grin.  She wiggled from his arms and grabbed a pair of his sweats from his drawer before heading to the washroom.  He grinned watching her retreating back before he went back to the kitchen and poured her coffee, adding some splenda to it.</p><p>There were waffles with whipped cream and strawberries, and enough crispy bacon to feed an army.  She emerged from the washroom fresh faced, her hair pulled up in a ponytail on the top of her head.  Sitting down across from him, she grinned.  “You’re pretty amazing.”  She said reaching for the coffee and taking a small sip.  They ate in comfortable silence, Emily watching Derek from across the table.  They were from totally different sides of the track, basically different sides of the universe if you looked close enough.  He grew up on the South side of Chicago, full of crime and death, whereas she grew up with nannies and the best girl’s schools.  But yet here they were, her wearing his clothes, him making breakfast for her.</p><p>“Em, if you got offered a permanent position at Interpol, would you take it?”  He asked suddenly.</p><p>She finished chewing the food in her mouth, but also bought herself some time before answering.  “It would be a great move for my job”  She said softly, “But...if they offered it to me I’d have to turn it down.  I have too much here that I can’t lose.”</p><p>His smile lit up the room.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Apart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The distance gets to them, and Derek makes a huge leap.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey, just checking to see if people are still (or actually) reading this!  Just drop me a line so I know there are (some) people enjoying the story.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>“The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Charles Dickens</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hate this.”  Derek muttered as he tugged his jeans down his legs and sat down on his bed.  “I miss you and this is fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>hard</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily sat at her desk, her office door closed.  There weren’t any pressing cases and she was just spending the rest of the morning doing paperwork.  “I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I HATE not being able to see you, to touch you.  I hate only seeing you every four weeks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Emily put her pen down and listened to Derek complain.  “Do you want to break up?”  She asked quietly, her voice soft with an uncharacteristic waver.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?!  NO!”  Derek exclaimed sitting up.  “I don’t want to break up, I’m just….sad and lonely.”  He admitted softly.  “I just really want to be near you.  I wish...it didn’t have to be this way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The dark haired woman got up and walked over to her door, locking it.  If they were going to have this conversation she was going to make sure that it was as private as possible.  She sat back down at her desk and hung up on Derek, to facetime him seconds later.  His face appeared on the screen and Emily gave him a tight lipped smile.  “I’m sorry Derek.”  She said softly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was topless, lying on his bed, his face pinched with stress.  “What are you sorry about, Princess?”  He asked, reaching out and running a finger over her face on the screen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For being in London, for taking the job.”  She whispered softly.  “For...not being the girlfriend you want and need.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sitting up, Derek shook his head.  “What the hell, Princess?  You are the ONLY person I want and need.  You don’t get to just drop me because I’m being whiney.  Sometimes I want you near me, yes.  Sometimes I wish you didn’t take the job in London, yes.  But that doesn’t mean I want to break up!”  He sighed and gave her a fleeting smile.  “I just really miss you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded and dabbed the corner of her eye with a tissue.  She was one to rarely show emotion, Derek was far more emotional than she was, but there were times, in private, she allowed her emotions to take over.  “Yeah, I miss you too.”  Rubbing her temples, Emily looked at the files on her desk.  “I should go, Der.”  She said softly.  “Again, I’m sorry.”  She said, giving him a smile on the screen.  “I’ll talk to you later.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, wait.”  Derek said watching as Emily’s finger hovered over the screen.  “I love you, Em.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, love you too.”  Emily replied quickly before hanging up.  She flipped her phone over and went back to work, burying herself in the casefiles.  She stayed late and went back to work early, trying to keep her mind focused on anything but Derek Morgan and the argument they had.  It was easier for her to run away and be the first one to make the cut than it was to wait to be broken up with. Her head was throbbing and her eyes burned from putting in too many hours at work starting at files and screens.  Her office door swung open and she didn’t even look up.  “No one knocks anymore?”  She muttered angrily.  The person didn’t speak or leave, and Emily slowly looked up.  Derek stood in front of her, his arms crossed across his chest, looking down at her.  “Derek?  You weren’t supposed to come for another week…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Walking back and shutting the door, Derek sat down across from her and nodded.  “I needed to see you, not just on the phone screen.”  He said softly.  “I want you to know that I might get frustrated sometimes, but I will always love you.  I’m IN love with you and that means through good times and bad.  Okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily bit her lower lip and nodded softly.  “Okay.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He got up and walked around her desk, turning her chair.  “We’re in this together.”  Derek said seriously.  “You and me, Princess.  We’re in this together.”  His hands rested on her knees and he squeezed gently.  “You’ve gotta trust.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The irony.”  She joked softly, leaning forward and cupped his face, pressing a soft kiss on his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek returned the kiss before leaning back.  “I’ll head to your flat and catch a few hours of sleep while you finish up work, okay?”  He questioned as he got to his feet, stretching.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure.”  Emily turned back to her computer when Derek stopped and took her hand.  He pressed a gentle kiss against her palm.  “I’ll see you in a few hours, Derek  You need to sleep.”  She watched as he left her office, a weight lifted from her chest.  For the first time in a long time, she finished early and was happy to head back to her apartment.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes narrowed seeing the large bruise under his clavicle.  “Derek.”  They both knew what it was from, but it didn’t make the pain in her stomach any less.  “When?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Day before I left.”  He said with a shrug.  Her fingers were soft, featherlike on his skin, brushing over the welt.  “The vest caught it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded, but stayed silent, her movements stilling.  They did a hard job, a terribly hard job and they both lost people they cared for because of it, but now, this was all so real.  She ran her hands over his chest, before letting them fall.  “Why didn’t you tell me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Derek pulled her down onto his lap and wrapped his arm around her waist.  “Because I was coming to see you.”  He said softly.  “And I didn’t want to worry you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded, her lips in a tight thin line but didn’t say anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her head was on his chest, listening to his racing heart when she felt the low rumble of his voice against her cheek.  “You ever think about marriage?”  He waited as her head cocked to the side and she looked at him, still laying down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean think about it?”  She asked tentatively.  “I mean, every time I go to a friend’s wedding I think about marriage.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their eyes met and her fingers traced over the bruise.  “You know, if anything ever happens to me in the field, you wouldn’t be notified.  Not legally anyway.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That did it.  She sat up, tugging the sheet around her chest.  “What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek sat up and ran a hand over his face. “We’re not next of kin.”  He said softly.  “”So if something happens, you know JJ would call you, but you aren’t coming in my hospital room.  And hell, would anyone call me if you got hurt?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The question lay heavy between them and Emily finally looked over at him.  “I’m not sure.”  She admitted softly.  “But you’re number one in my emergency contacts.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slid over towards her, staying silent but physically pressing against her.  She laid her head on his shoulder, her fingers finding the welt on his chest.  “I’m not saying I’m ready for marriage, but if you were to ask me…”  She shrugged.  “I wouldn’t say no.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just for the record I’m not proposing right now.”  Derek said, his hand covering hers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily chuckled softly.  “Good, because if you were it would be a lame proposal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was Derek’s turn to laugh.  “Yeah, it would be a lame proposal, Princess.”  He kissed the top of her head.  “When I propose, I promise you it’ll be far less lame than this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright.”  She didn’t even flinch at the fact that he used </span>
  <em>
    <span>when</span>
  </em>
  <span> instead of </span>
  <em>
    <span>if</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  Maybe she hadn’t noticed the small word, or maybe she did notice it but accepted it.  Regardless, they stayed like that, her head on his shoulder, his arm around her waist for some time, before either of them spoke again.  Derek buried his head in her hair, his lips softly brushing her skin.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tomorrow’s Friday, do you work the weekend?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”  Emily whispered softly, more out of desire to stay in the gentle bubble that they had created instead of a fear of someone overhearing.  “My team is off the weekend.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek nodded slightly, keeping his face buried in her hair.  “Okay, you, me at the Core tonight at 6:30.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She turned and arched an eyebrow.  “Core?  You know that we won’t be able to get in on such short notice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yee of little faith.”  Derek laughed softly.  “We already have reservations.”  Gently, he lowered her back to the mattress, his lips ghosting against her skin.  </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>JJ joked that Emily must’ve been a marine in a past life.  When they roomed together on assignment, it took Emily less than 10 minutes to shower and get ready.  She would shower and throw on whatever clothes she had packed, put on a light layer of makeup and put her hair up in a ponytail.  It still took her little time to get dressed, even if Derek Morgan followed her into her large shower.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He watched as she got dressed, pulling on black fitted slacks and a red tank top.  She pulled a blazer over top and finished with low heeled boots.  Lifting her hair, she waited for him to finish with the clasp on her necklace.  “I’ll see you in a few hours.”  She leaned in for a kiss before pulling away with a smirk.  Her thumb gently reached up and wiped the lipstick off his mouth.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See you at about five.”  He watched her leave and head down to the parking garage.  He waited a few hours before pulling on his own shoes and calling an Uber.  They headed to an expensive jewelry store and he walked in feeling oh so out of his league.  He looked around before standing off to the side and calling in reinforcements.  Doing the math in his head it was around breakfast in DC and he waited for JJ to pick up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek.”  The blonde said, her face breaking into a wide grin on the screen.  “Aren’t you supposed to be wooing your </span>
  <em>
    <span>woman</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My </span>
  <em>
    <span>woman</span>
  </em>
  <span> is at work, remember?”  He said with a small smile.  “And let’s not get caught calling her my woman.  I’d rather not have a foot up my ass.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Or a glock in the back.”  JJ teased as she bit down on a piece of toast.  “So why the facetime?  I mean, not that I’m complaining but…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek nodded and leaned against the wall.  “I’m jewelry shopping, Jayje.  You’re Emily’s best friend...well one of them.  But...you’re…”  He took a deep breath.  “Theonlyonethatwearsaweddingring.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She choked, reaching for her coffee.  He gave her time, trying to calm his own hammering heart.  “Are you looking for an engagement ring, Derek Morgan?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shrugged, though she could tell that his face paled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay okay, I’ll stop teasing you.  What are you looking at?”  She gave her friend a supportive smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek started to show her different options, before turning the camera back on himself.  “JJ, please don’t tell Penelope.  I love that girl to death but she can’t keep a secret if her life depended on it and if Emily finds out about this…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah yeah yeah, got it.  No telling Garcia.  I won’t tell anyone.  Trust me, I love Emily and I want her to have something great, Derek.  Now show me more rings.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They spent hours in the jewelry store, Derek finally deciding on something original that would be finished by the end of his visit to London. He made it back to Emily’s flat and took a shower before she got back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He let Emily get ready, only asking what colour dress she would be wearing.  He brought his least FBI agent suit, a charcoal grey, that he paired with a black shirt and a red tie to match her dress.  When Emily emerged from her bedroom, wrapped in a tight fitting red dress, hair in loose curls, Derek felt his heart stop and lodge somewhere up in his throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re gonna catch flies.”  Emily said with a smile.  Closing the gap between them, she placed the lightest of kisses on his lips.  “You clean up nice, Mr. Morgan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Interlacing their fingers, Derek squeezed her hand.  “You are beautiful.”  He whispered.  He stared at her, unable to move until he felt her tug at his hand.  Finally he spoke.  “Let’s go, we don’t want to miss our meal.”</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>He had decided that it would be at Christmas.  The holiday didn’t hold a special place for Emily, but it did for Derek.  Lying in bed with her, her head on his chest, he knew right then and there that she was the one that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.  Some may say that they were moving too fast, but they knew each other for </span>
  <em>
    <span>years</span>
  </em>
  <span> before this.  They had been together, well they had been sleeping together for a long time before they were actually together.  It wasn’t fast, they weren’t fast, in fact they were painfully painfully slow.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, he leaned over and fluttered a soft kiss on her hair.  “I love you, Emily.”  He whispered before wrapping his arm protectively around her waist and closed his eyes.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. First Meeting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Emily lands in Chicago and meets Derek's family for the first time as his girlfriend.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is part of probably a 3 part chapter, but I couldn't bring myself to post (or write) 6000 words at once.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“In true love the smallest distance is too great and the greatest distance can be bridged.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Hans Nouwens</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Emily signed the file with flourish before putting it in her outbox and getting to her feet.  She was finished for the holidays and not a moment too soon.  Her flight left in a few hours to Chicago and she couldn’t wait to go.  She loved her position at Interpol, but she was missing the States every day a little bit more and more.  Heading to the elevator, she quickly made it out of the building in record time.  Her Uber was waiting for her and she pulled the suitcase along before placing it in the back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Heathrow.”  She ordered before pulling out her phone.  Sure it was late in Chicago, but she knew that Derek would answer the phone if she called.  After three rings, his sleep filled voice came on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Em.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled.  Growing up she hated the nickname Em, it always reminded her of The Wizard of Oz.  Great aunt, Em, but when it came out of his mouth it filled her with joy.  It was just so </span>
  <em>
    <span>different</span>
  </em>
  <span> coming from his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just letting you know that I’m heading to the airport.  My flight leaves at 8pm, so I should be there by 230 pm Chicago time.”  She leaned back against the seat.  “I can’t believe that we have almost 3 weeks together.  I mean, you have two, but I get to be stateside for three weeks.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, Princess.  It’ll be great.  I’ll pick you up at the airport.  I can’t wait to see you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She felt bad for waking him so early so she cut the conversation short.  “See you soon, babe.  I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you too, gorgeous.”  He hung up, and cuddled against the pillow in his mother’s home.  A smile crossed his lips as he laid in that time between awake and asleep, thinking of how babe rolled off her tongue.  The heat in his stomach and his heart grew, as he fell asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily settled in her seat, headphones on and the mask over her eyes.  It was a redeye flight for her, but regardless of the time it was over an 8 hour flight and she wanted to get at least a few hours of sleep.  Thankful for her first class seat, Emily turned on her headphones, soft music surrounding her and tried to get some sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She accomplished to sleep through over half of the flight thanks to the melatonin she took before take off.  It would still be afternoon in Chicago, so she chose the light breakfast option and munched on the fruit, yogurt and coffee.  Nerves started to overtake her the closer she got to O’Hare.  Sure, she had met Fran Morgan and his sisters before, she had been </span>
  <em>
    <span>Agent Prentiss</span>
  </em>
  <span> then, not Emily.  Now, she was just Emily Prentiss, her son’s girlfriend.  That in and of itself scared her the most.  She couldn’t hide behind her badge, she couldn’t hide behind the FBI protocols.  She was open and vulnerable.  If she was being honest, she wasn’t good at parents, hell she wasn’t even good with her own.  By the time they landed she was sure she needed an Ativan.  Her heart was racing and her palms were sweating, but seeing Derek standing at the bottom of the stairs, a warm coat in his arms calmed her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Princess.”  He said opening the jacket for her.  “I didn’t think you’d have anything to quite handle Chicago winters.”  He commented,  The jacket stopped mid thigh, charcoal grey with a fake fur trim on the hood.  He pulled out a pair of grey mitts and then a toque with a white fur pom on the top.  Softly pulling it over her ears, he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss on her lips.  “I have boots in the truck for you.”  He said, grabbing her bag.  “JJ helped me pick everything out before I left.”  Taking her hand with his glove covered one, they walked out to his truck, putting her luggage behind them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re going to stay at Desi’s place.”  Derek said as they pulled out the snow crunching under the tires.  “She has a spare room, but she’s gonna stay at mom’s.  So we’ll have the place to ourselves.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily turned and shook her head.  “No, we can’t take over her house!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shrugging, Derek turned onto the freeway.  “She insisted.  It’s a few blocks from Mom’s so it’s an easy drive.”  He took Emily’s hand and squeezed it.  “That way we have some privacy and mom refused to let us get a hotel room.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Knowing that she wouldn’t be able to win the argument, Emily nodded.  “Alright.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How about we head to her place and you can take a short nap before we go to Mom’s for supper?”  He suggested.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was silent, unnaturally so.  Derek stole glances at every red light and stop sign until he pulled up to the building.  “You okay, Em?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her dark eyes flicked towards him before she exhaled audibly.  “I’ve never done this.  Like the while meet the parents thing.”  She admitted, swallowing rapidly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pulling into the underground parking, Derek put his truck into park and turned to Emily.  “It’s going to be fine.  Sarah, Desi, and Ma are all excited to meet you...meet Emily not Agent Prentiss.”  He climbed out and grabbed her suitcase.  “I promise you, they will love you.”  Waiting for her to walk around, he led her up to Des’s apartment.  It was a two bedroom loft, comfy, airy, open.  Kicking off his boots, he extended his hand to Emily.  She toed off her high heeled boots and followed him into the spare room.  The bed was neatly made up, an end table on either side and an empty dresser in the corner. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily unclipped her bra and slipped it off and tugged off her pants.  She was exhausted, nervous, and quite frankly overwhelmed.  Crawling into bed, she waited for Derek to crawl in next to her, and he wrapped his arms around her.  He could feel her heart hammering in her chest, her nervousness palpable.  Humming, he closed his eyes and softly raked his fingers through her hair, massaging her scalp.  It was slow, but he soon felt her body relax and her breathing evened out.  He laid there with her until his alarm went off a few hours later.  Dark eyes opened and she stared at him in silence.  Her eyes were bright, though the veil of fear still hung over them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to shower?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, she untangled herself from him before getting to her feet.  She pulled him up and dragged him along with her.  “I...I just need you near me right now.”  Emily explained, stripping off her clothes.  “I need to get out of my own head about meeting your family.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.”  Peppering a few soft kisses on her face, Derek took off his clothes and followed her to the shower.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shower sex was aways a better idea than it was in practice.  Despite that, Emily was much calmer when she emerged from the shower.  Letting her hair dry naturally, she dug through her suitcase and pulled out a pair of black leggings and a red sweater.  Their eyes met and he gave her a comforting smile.  She got dressed and straightened her now dry hair before adding some makeup.  Her hands were shaking with nerves and Derek, after pulling on jeans and a tshirt, went over and stood behind her.  His arms wrapped around her, nuzzling his face in her neck.  “They’re going to love you as much as I do.”  He whispered.  “You are the most incredible thing that has ever happened to me and I want them to meet the amazing, beautiful, strong, smart woman who has me head over heels in love with her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her heart rate slowed and she met his eyes in the mirror.  She smiled.  It wasn’t a true Emily Prentiss smile, but her lips curled up slightly and she gave him a small imperceptible nod.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The drive to his mom’s place was short, and soon Emily found herself being led into a well kept bungalow.  It was warm, cozy, and smelled like a delicious meal was being prepared.  Derek took her hand, interlacing their fingers, before walking into the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Whatever the conversation was in the room ended, and the three women turned and looked at Derek and Emily.  Her heart physically stopped and Emily felt all the blood drain from her face.  Derek felt her grin tightening and he gave his mom and sisters a smile.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is Emily.”  He said calmly.  “Em, you know my sisters, Sarah and Desiree.  And my mom, Fran.”  He watched as Emily stuck her hand out for a handshake, but his mother shook her head and wrapped her arms around her in a tight hug.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily wasn’t a hugger, she grew up in a family that barely spoke let alone touched.  Her arms slowly returned Fran’s hug, the older woman holding her tight.  Derek was bracing himself for Emily to turn and run, but when Fran finally let her go, she gave her a bright, honest smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We are </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>glad that you’re here, Emily.”  Fran said honestly, taking a step back and looking at Emily and Derek together.  “It’s about time that he brought you around.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ma…”  Derek mumbled reaching for Emily, wrapping an arm around her hips, though he was intercepted by his sisters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No way, you help Mom with the rest of supper.  We want to talk with Emily.”  Desiree said, grabbing Emily’s arm.  “We want to see what she sees in our loser little brother.  And show her your bathtub pictures.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He watched as his beautiful girlfriend got dragged away by his sisters.  Turning to his mom, he leaned against the counter.  “Should I be scared?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fran laughed softly and gave her youngest a strong hug.  “Pretty sure that Emily is going to be fine.  Now how about you help me with the salad?”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t ever seen Derek with that much hair!”  Emily exclaimed looking at photobooks of a much younger Derek Morgan.  “Look at those chubby cheeks!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sarah laughed and flipped the page.  “He has nice hair, he’s just always said that it’s easier being a cop and then FBI to shave it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shrugging, Emily looked at the next page.  “I can see his point, but I don’t have a problem with long hair.”  They kept looking through the photo album, laughing softly at certain pictures.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It seems like they’re getting along well.”  Fran commented as she checked on the lasagna in the oven.  Her eyes washed over her son who was leaning against the counter, his gaze on his girlfriend on the couch sandwiched between his sisters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm hmm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fran got out a bottle of red wine and started to set the table.  “Maybe I should sell this house.”  She said gauging to see if Derek was even listening to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, Ma.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Smirking, Fran shook her head.  “And I’ll move in with you in Fairfax.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”  He looked at his mom and blinked a few times.  “Wait, what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Walking over to her son, Fran kissed his cheek softly.  “You were too busy staring at Emily to pay attention.”  She said leaning against her son.  “She is beautiful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek glanced down at his mom and nodded.  “She really is.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never seen you like this before, Derek.”  Fran commented.  “In love.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed softly and rested his chin on the top of her head.  “I’ve never felt like this before.”  He said honestly.  The uproarious laughter from the other room filled the kitchen.  “I have a ring for her, Ma.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fran looked up quickly and gave her son a smile.  “I’m sure she’ll say yes.”  She said quietly.  After a few minutes, the timer on the stove went off and Fran went to take out the food.  “Go get the others for supper.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek nodded and walked into the living room, wrapping his arms around Emily from behind.  “Supper’s ready.”  He said softly, pressing his lips to her temple.  Looking over her shoulder, he sighed seeing that they were looking at his incredibly awkward middle school phase.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His sisters got up from the couch and headed into the kitchen, leaving Emily and Derek alone for a few minutes.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were cute with hair.”  She said closing the photo album and looked up at Derek.  He grinned down at her, kissing her softly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, as bad as you thought?  Meeting my sisters?”  He asked, resting his chin on the top of her head.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re sweet.  And so is your mom.”  She slowly got up and gave him a grin.  Feeling eyes on them, she blushed and walked around the couch.  “Let’s go eat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sitting down at the table, she gave Fran a thankful smile.  “This looks amazing.”  She said eyeing up the spread.  Lasaga, salad, fresh garlic bread and red wine.  “Thank you so much, Fran.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their plates were filled, Emily eating her fair share of lasagna, though helping herself to two servings of salad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s tiramisu for dessert!”  Sarah said, clearing the plates on the table.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily rubbed her stomach and shook her head.  “I might need to go and buy new pants!”  She said, though she didn’t object when Sarah put a piece in front of her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The conversation was loud and joking, mostly at Derek’s expense.  Emily sat back and listened, taking it all in.  She had never been part of a family, not really.  Sure, she had a mom and a dad, but her existence with them was silent.  Children should be seen, but not heard.  Here, in the Morgan residence there was lots of love and laughter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was well after midnight when they left Fran’s house with an invitation to come back anytime for meals.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily stripped down and dressed in warm two piece pyjamas and climbed into bed, wrapping herself around Derek.  “I really like your family.”  She whispered against his bare chest.  It blew her mind that he could sleep with only pyjama pants on, despite the cold winter chill.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They really like you.”  He said quietly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The quiet washed over them as his grip tightened around her waist.  Her breathing evened out and she fell into a deep sleep.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Kids</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Emily tells Derek her secret, unsure how he'll react.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>“The soul is healed by being with children.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>  — Fyodor Dostoyevsky,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily pulled on a pair of jeans and a hooded sweatshirt.  Her hair was tied back in a simple braid running down her back.  It was rare that she dressed down like this, unless she was at home.  They were heading to the rec center for the day and then head to Fran’s for supper and hang out with Sarah, her partner, and their kids.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You look good in a Bears hoodie.”  Derek said coming behind her, and wrapping his arms around her.  He told her that if she was going to spend any time in Chicago, she needed to look the part.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grinning, she turned and leaned against the counter.  “Better than in your Bears jersey?”  She asked, pulling herself up onto the counter and looping her arms around his neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You, only in my Bears jersey, is permanently burned into my memory as one of the best things I’ve ever seen.”  He replied, pecking her lips softly.  Derek’s hands ran under her shirt, gripping her lithe waist strongly.  Their lips met softly, his hands moving higher.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Der...We promised that we’d be at the rec center by 10.”  Emily whispered against his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He growled and pulled back with a heavy sigh.  “Yeah, if we do what I want to do, we aren't going to get there in time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A bright smile appeared on Emily’s face.  “I know.”  Hopping off the counter, she wiggled her eyebrows before going to get her sneakers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rec center hadn’t changed much since Derek had spent his childhood there.  New couches, different flooring, and a daycare center added, but it was still the same place.  He had memories, both good and bad but he chose to focus on the good ones.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“DEREK!”  He turned and smiled as a teen, about 14, rushed up to him.  “You came back!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek grinned.  “Course I did, told you I’ll come back every Christmas.”  He said keeping his arm draped around Emily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who’s the white girl?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“De’Shawn.”  Derek chastised, shaking his head.  “This </span>
  <em>
    <span>white girl </span>
  </em>
  <span>is the love of my life, Emily.”  Leaning over, he tilted her head up and kissed her lips gently.  “And she works for an international organization more badass than the FBI.  She could snap your skinny ass in two with one hand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily arched her eyebrows and gave the boy a soft smile.  He backed away tossing a look over his shoulder at Emily.  “You probably scared the crap out of him.”  She whispered against his lips.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, he shouldn’t be talking trash about you.”  Derek replied softly, wrapping his arms around her, kissing her again.  Momentarily he forgot where they were, deepening the kiss.  His hands rested on her ass as he pulled her closer.  Emily’s vision started to grey around the edges before pulling away.  Whistles and jeers erupted from behind them and Emily shook her head, her cheeks glowing a bright red.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She straightened her shirt and gently moved his hands off her ass.  “Now we’ve scarred them too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shrugging, he gave her another soft kiss before wrapping his arm around her waist.  “No regrets.”  His dark eyes flashed mischievously and he leaned his cheek against the top of her head.  “Are you okay if I go to the gym and shoot some hoops with some of the kids?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go.”  She said with a smile, knowing how much he wanted to be here.  “I’ll find something else to do.”  She watched as he jogged away towards the gym.  Being out of her league was an understatement of the century.  Emily had nannies and au pairs.  She had expensive athletic camps and theatre troupes.  She had summer camps in the Alps.  She had weekend getaways to Paris, Marakesh, or St. Petersburg.  This was a whole new world for her.  Watching the pick up basketball game for a few minutes, she gave Derek a wave before heading down the hall to the daycare.  At first she just watched from the corner, but a young woman walked up to her and gave her a wide smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, I’m Oliva.”  Her hair was a short buzz cut and she had multiple facial piercings.  “You come in with Derek?  They told us he was bringing a girl and we know that Derek is a big G-man now, and...well you look like you live in Washington, not the South side of Chicago.”  She reasoned.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking down at the Bears hoodie, she nodded.  “This doesn’t help?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girl shrugged.  “You just have a look about you, Miss.  But come on in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Small children milled around, but it was clean and bright with plenty of toys.  Emily sat down next to a small girl who was playing by herself.  She couldn’t be more than a year, her big brown eyes watching Emily.  The little girl grabbed a book and crawled onto her lap, making herself at home.  Emily leaned against the wall and read to her, the gentle weight of the little girl leaning against her.  She wasn’t sure how long she read to her but she read until she felt the small girl go limp in her arms.  Instead of moving, she just held the small girl until she heard heavy footsteps behind her that she knew to be Derek’s.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see you found a friend.”  He whispered, sitting down beside her.  He smelled like sweat, and his body heat enveloped her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm hmmm.”  Emily hummed as she slowly started to get up.  The little girl whimpered and shifted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Olivia appeared and gave Derek and Emily a bright smile.  “Let me take her.”  She gently lifted the girl, leaving Emily’s arms suddenly felt so empty.  Getting to her feet, Emily gave Derek a small smile as he wrapped his arms around her, pressing a kiss to her forehead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need to shower.”  She said, nestling under his arm and making zero effort to move.  They walked back through the rec center, both uncharacteristically quiet.  Untangling herself, Emily grabbed her jacket and pulled it on, pulling the hood over her head.  Once in his truck, Emily gave him a tight lipped smile.  “You look like you had fun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pulling out of the parking lot, Derek nodded and squeezed her hand.  “Yeah.  It’s nice to see how things have changed for the better.”  He said as they headed back to Desi’s apartment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily turned down his proposition for shower sex, much to his surprise.  It was rare that either of them ever turned sex down, in fact they rarely kept their hands off of each other.  He stood under the hot water alone, emerging wearing jeans and a Cubs shirt.  The rest of the place was silent and he padded out, looking for Emily.  The door to the balcony was open, snow brushing in over his bare feet.  He watched her silently, leaning forward on her forearms against the cold metal railing.  He would’ve given her space, but seeing her shiver, he slipped on slippers and took a step onto the balcony.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay, Em?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tears froze to her eyelashes that she tried to desperately blink away.  She couldn’t lie to him, despite her many attempts.  Wrapping his arms around her, he led her back inside, her feet padding across the hardwood.  “What’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know how badly you want kids.”  She whispered, her voice small and frightened.  Her body shook violently and Derek grabbed the comforter, draping it over them.  “It’s...I…”  She bit down on her inner cheek, tasting the coppery taste of her own blood.  “When I was 15 I had an abortion.”  She mumbled, never meeting his eyes.  “It wasn’t exactly legal.”  Her eyes looked skyward.  “They told me that I might never be able to get pregnant.  Less than 5% chance of having kids.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her words hung heavy as she stayed frozen on the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He did want kids, he wanted a family of his own, but even more he wanted Emily.  His arms wrapped around her and he softly turned her so they were face to face.  Waiting for her gaze to meet his, he gently cupped her face.  “Emily, I love you.  I am head over heels in love with you.  This news, this doesn’t change that.  We’ll try to get pregnant, and if we can’t we’ll adopt.  We’ll foster.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tears rolled down her cheeks and Emily wrapped her arms around him, her face buried in his chest.  She sobbed silently, her tears leaving wet spots on his shirt.  Her body shuddered as she cried, the weight of her secret lifted, but the shame of her inability weighed heavy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek held her softly until she had no more tears left, until she laid exhausted in his arms.  They weren’t expected at his mother’s place for a few hours, but he texted her anyway, letting her know that they were going to spend the night in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Changing out of his jeans, he pulled on sweats and helped Emily into some comfier clothes.  “You doing okay, beautiful?”  He whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shrugged.  “Sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be.  You were young...and they didn’t say that you would never have kids.”  Pressing his lips to hers, he stayed still before pulling away.  “When we get to DC we’ll look at options, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”  Her eyes closed and the exhaustion of today washed over her.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was still early and Derek knew Emily well enough that in a few hours she would wake up hungry and angry.  Hangry.  Grabbing his phone off the end table, he ordered from Fatso’s last stand, and ordered some meals for delivery.  His heart ached knowing how badly she was hurtig.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She awoke a few hours later, her eyes red and swollen, her face tear stained.  Derek gave her a smile and pressed a kiss to her forehead.  “I ordered food.  It just came.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know me too well, Derek Morgan.”  Emily whispered, her voice still somewhat raw from crying.  She sat up, smoothing her hair somewhat into a half decent ponytail.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Got us an Italian beef sandwich, cheeseburger, and some chili cheese fries to split.”  Derek extended his hand to Emily, pulling her to her feet.  The food was still in the bag and Derek passed Emily a chocolate milkshake.  “Figured chocolate was the best way to go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled.  It didn’t quite reach her eyes, but she smiled none the less.  Taking the milkshake, she popped a straw in the top and took a small sip, curling her feet under her as she sat at the table.  He unveiled their meals, placing the options in the middle.  Emily reached for the Italian sandwich, taking half of it and placing it on the paper plate.  His dark eyes watched her as she nibbled at the meal, carefully taking a few bites and sips.  Before his own eyes, he could see the walls go up again.  He understood living with a secret, hell, it took him being arrested to reveal his secrets.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One of the problems of dating a profiler was that they read people for a living.  Her eyes were downcast, her movements halting and slow.  He knew that it weighed heavy on her, but this was something that he wasn’t sure how to fix.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Finally</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Finally.  <br/>After Emily has some serious bouts of self doubt, Derek asks the question.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Aristotle</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They had spent the next few days in Chicago doing random touristy things that she never got around to when she lived there.  They went and spent time at Millennium Park,  wandered through the Art Institute of Chicago, and went to the Willis Tower sky deck.  All of the gifts were bought and wrapped, wrapped by Emily after witnessing his attempts.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Christmas was a big deal in the Morgan family.  It was always his father’s favourite holiday and even though it brought up so many memories of him, they celebrated it as always.  This time there was just one more person in their celebration.  He had already told his mother that he planned on proposing on Christmas, but it didn’t make it any less stressful for him.  He knew that Emily loved him, that was never in question, but marriage?  It was never in his plans, and he knew that it was probably never in Emily’s.  But he wanted forever, and he wanted forever with Emily.  With their jobs he knew that there was always a chance of them not coming home, but he wanted however long he could with her.  Officially.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ring burned a hole in the pocket of his grey slacks.  Normally, he would wear sweats and an oversized sweatshirt, but because of his plans, he had requested that everyone dress up.  He wore a soft lavender button down shirt, and Emily had on a black skirt and a royal blue sweater.  Simple.  Elegant.  Classy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her arms were full of gifts, wrapped in matching paper and golden ribbons.  Derek gave his mother a shaky smile as they entered, kicking off their boots and shrugging off their jackets.  He couldn’t keep his eyes off of Emily.  The way she laughed, the way she smiled, the crinkle of her nose, the soft melody of her laugh.  Things had been tense, she had been tense </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He blinked a few times and blushed, taking Emily’s hand and following her into the living room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Penny for your thoughts?”  She asked, placing gifts under the tree.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek shook his head, pulling her back into his arms.  “They’re worth so much more.”  He teased kissing her softly.  “I’m so happy you came with me here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leaning against his chest, Emily nodded.  “Me too.  Me too.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kissed the top of her head and held her softly.  His sisters whispered behind them, but he ignored it, just enjoying the almost silence with his girlfriend.  After a few minutes he pulled away and looked over his shoulder.  “Hey Sarah, when are Todd and the kids coming?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His oldest sister smiled and glanced down at her watch.  “Probably about 20 minutes.  We had a sledding accident before leaving.  Colton hit a bump and went flying and his Annie down who promptly pulled Jasmine down with her.  So we had three crying and soggy kids.  I came here to help Mom with supper and left Todd deal with the drama.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily smiled and squeezed Derek’s hand before excusing herself to the kitchen.  While she wasn’t the best chef she was a damn good sous-chef and after some joking arguments, Fran put her to work peeling carrots and potatoes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon, the front door swung open and three kids rushed in.  Emily turned and watched as they jumped on Derek, him easily able to support the three kids.  Her heart wrenched as the joy radiated off of Derek.  He swung, and kissed and played with the kids.  Anyone could see how </span>
  <em>
    <span>great</span>
  </em>
  <span> he was with kids and how much he enjoyed it.  How much he </span>
  <em>
    <span>deserved </span>
  </em>
  <span>it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Swallowing hard, Emily excused herself and slipped on her shoes, silently stepping outside.  She stood on the front porch trying to gather her emotions.  The cold air bit at her unshielded face as the joyful sounds from inside seeped from under the door.  There wasn’t a lot in the world that Emily Prentiss couldn’t do.  They told her that she would never be able to get into the FBI and she passed the entrance exam with ease.  They told her that she wouldn’t be able to hack it as a profiler.  She was one of their best.  But this, this she couldn’t work her way out of it.  Sighing, her fingers and brain itched for a cigarette.  It was a vise that she had broken years ago, almost a decade ago, but she desperately wanted one in this moment.  Something to calm her nerves and take the edge off of her feelings.  She was drowning in her thoughts, deep dark and heavy, missing the sound of the door open.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay, Emily?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jumping, a very un Emily-like squeal slipped from her mouth and she turned, seeing Fran standing on the porch, her jacket wrapped around her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m fine.”  She said, a strained smile playing on her lips.  “Just...needed some air.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The older woman nodded, but Emily could tell she didn’t believe her.  Her past, her life, it was too hard to talk about with people she was close to like JJ, and hell, even Derek, but it was something she didn’t talk about at all with those she didn’t know well.  The walls she had spent most of her adult life building were high and fortified.  Fran approached her and took her hand.  “I’m not going to pry, Emily, but I know my son loves you.  A lot.  I can see it when he talks to you and when he talks about you.  His face just lights up.  I also know women like you.  Hardworking, proud, caring, strong, fiercely independent.  You know that you don’t have to be all those things all the time.  Derek, he loves you.”  She reached out and squeezed Emily’s hand.  “I’ll let Derek know where you are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily bowed her head and sighed, listening as the footsteps changed from the crunch of snow underfoot to the welcome mat.  A few moments later she felt Derek wrap his arms around her.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mom said that you were out here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She leaned against him and sighed.  “Derek, you know that I may never be able to give you what’s going on in there.  A family.  Kids with your own DNA.”  She refused to cry.  There had been enough tears shed over the subject the past few days.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I’ve told you that I don’t care.”  He repeated, burying his face in her neck.  “I love my nieces and nephew, yes, but I love you more.  I would be happy if it was just you and me.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was never silence in Chicago, especially on the south side, regardless of how nice his own house was.  A car squealed as it tore around the corner, her dark eyes following it.  After a few minutes, Emily nodded.  “I love you too.  Let’s go in, my fingers are getting cold.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t have that now.”  Derek joked with a smile.  He took her hand and fluttered a kiss on her fingertips.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The meal was far beyond what Emily had ever had for Christmas.  They had worked the last one, Derek leaving directly after to get to Chicago.  Before that, she had gone to Rossi’s with some of the other team members.  It went on and on, by herself, with one person, a fancy meal with her parents.  But never this.  A real family Christmas meal.  She ate until she was stuffed, probably eating more than she ever had in her life.  Living with Ambassador Elizabeth Prentiss, she grew up watching what she ate, how much she ate, when she ate.  If she ate too much, she spent more time on the treadmill.  She had to look her best, be her best.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They settled around the tree, the kids passing out gifts.  She received a kindle from Fran, along with an amazon gift card from Desi.  “We figured with travelling it might be easier.”  Fran reasoned with a small smile.  A beautiful sweater from Sarah and her family, and a black pearl necklace from Derek.  She was happy to watch the kids destroy the wrapping paper, tearing their gifts out of the wrapping.  The madness settled as the kids started to set up their toys, the adults cleaning up the aftermath.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Exchanging a worried glance with his mother behind Emily’s back, Derek took a deep breath, gently placing his hand on Emily’s shoulder.  “Em...uh...can I ask you something?”  He stammered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily tossed the last piece of discarded wrapping paper in the large black garbage bag and turned.  “Of course.”  Her eyes ran over his face.  One of the problems of dating a profiler, they could see the change in your behaviour.  “Derek…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was now or never.  Lowering himself on one knee, he pulled the ring box out of his pocket.  “Emily, we’ve been watching out for each other for the past five years.  I’ve watched you die in my arms.  I’ve been to your funeral.  I carried your casket.  I thought I lost you, but I have you again.  I have a second chance, we have a second chance.”  Shaking hands opened the box.  “I never want to go another day without you, without knowing that we can be together.  Will you marry me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The world stopped turning.  All of the oxygen in her lungs left.  Everyone in the room disappeared.  Emily stared at Derek.  She knew eight fucking languages.  Eight fucking languages and she couldn’t find the words in any of them.  Slowly she nodded, tears rolling down her cheeks.  Finally, the verbal dam broke and she gasped.  “Yes, Derek.  A million times yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ring was white gold, with a large oval cut diamond in the center.  Down one side it had smaller alexandrite stones, his birthstone, and tourmaline, hers, down the other.  He slipped it on his finger, and Emily reached for him, pulling him to his feet.  Her hands cupped his face and she kissed him passionately, trying to say everything that she couldn’t portray with words.  Finally, once they ran out of oxygen, Emily pulled away.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“FINALLY.”  Desiree exclaimed with a laugh.  “We’ve all been getting sick of him making puppy dog eyes at you, Emily.”  She said smiling at the couple.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was thinking the same thing.”  Derek whispered, pressing a gentle kiss on her temple.  “Finally.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Friends and Family</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Derek and Emily head home and meet with their friends and their secret is revealed.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span> “In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine.” — Maya Angelou</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They stuck around for the congratulations, but left soon after heading back to Desi’s apartment.  Emily couldn’t stop looking at her hand - correction - her ring.  She was engaged.  She knew that she should call her mother, but that was eventually.  Tonight, tonight was about them.  The trip seemed to take forever, despite the distance never changing and Derek opened the door, depositing their gifts on the chair at the front.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His lips found her, his large hands cupping her face.  “We’re engaged.”  He mumbled between kisses.  “You’re my fiancee.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re engaged.”  Emily whispered as he backed her into the spare bedroom.  Her knees hit the back of the bed and she sat down, her hands tugging his shirt out of his pants.  They left tomorrow, a quick flight to Washington  She was infinitely thankful that it was a late flight because she knew they would have to wash the sheets and do a scavenger hunt for their clothes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While their clothes came off, the ring stayed on.  The rode wave after wave of pleasure, praying that Desi’s walls were thick and her neighbours weren’t home.  Her hair was pulled up, sweat covering both their bodies.  Emily’s pale skin flushed with pleasure and desire, small rivulets of sweat ran down his smooth body.  They moved together as one until they were both exhausted and sated.  The sheets stuck to their bodies, a second skin, damp with sweat and evidence of their pleasure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ring shone in the moonlight as she brought it up, the stones capturing the light and glinting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you like it?”  Derek asked, pulling her flush against him, his chin on her shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love it.”  She whispered, her eyes never leaving the jewelry.  “And I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, their bodies seemed to let them down and Emily curled up against him, his arm wrapped loosely around her waist, and they fell asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was late when they awoke, later than they would normally ever wake up.  The sun was already high in the sky and Emily stretched out, sore and sticky.  Derek was snoring softly beside her and she got up, forgoing grabbing anything to cover her and headed for the shower.  She showered quickly and threw on a pair of leggings and one of Derek’s hoodies.  Leaning forward, she pressed a soft kiss on his lips, her dark hair brushing his face softly.  His eyes opened and he reached up pulling her down on top of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Morning, fiancee.”  Derek whispered, his voice still deep and gravelly with sleep.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The smile lit up her whole face and she sat on the edge of the bed, brushing her hand over his bare chest.  “Morning.  We should start packing up, you shower and I’ll toss the sheets in the wash and remake the bed.  We want to see your mom before we head off again.”  She pulled the sheet off of him with a smirk.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Groaning, Derek rubbed his eyes and nodded.  “Okay okay okay.”  He mumbled, getting to his feet and sauntering to the shower, tossing a look over his shoulder.  Emily inhaled sharply before stripping the bed and remaking it, tossing the dirty sheets in the washer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were packed quickly and headed back to Fran’s for their final goodbye, for now.  Tears pricked in the corners of Emily’s eyes as she felt Derek’s mom’s arms wrap around her tightly.  “I’m lucky to be able to call you my future daughter.”  She whispered in the brunette’s ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The flight to DC was short, and Emily spent most of it staring at her ring, twisting it softly on her finger.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never seen you smile this much, Princess.”  Derek whispered against her hair, her leaning against him in their first class seats.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess I’ve never really had a reason to smile this much.”  She replied leaning back, kissing his lips.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He placed a few soft pecks on her lips before taking her hand and interlacing their fingers.  In all honesty, with Emily they fit so well that he didn’t ever really sit and analyze their differences, just their similarities.  Sure, there was the colour of their skin, but that was never anything that was brought up minus a few different cases.  But it went beyond that.  His hands were strong, heavy, with gun calloused fingers and sports calloused palms.  Her hands were slight, a camouflaged strength about them, but slender.  He was impulsive, they both were, but Emily was the more cerebral of the two of them.  He exploded, she internalized.  But like two pieces of a different puzzle, they fit together perfectly and made each other whole.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lost in their own thoughts, they didn’t move or speak, safe for Derek’s fingers softly brushing through her hair, until the flight attendant came around and announced their landing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The lights of Dulles came into view, Emily staring out the window as the tarmac approached.  They headed out and gathered their bags, Emily booking an uber before they landed.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where’s Clooney?”  She asked, kicking off her boots and looking around Derek’s home.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Neighbour’s.”  Derek shrugged and tossed his bag to the side.  If it was his choice, he would stay the rest of Emily’s stay in this house, only emerging for food and the odd errand, but he knew that it wasn’t possible.  Taking her hands between his, he looked at her left hand, his finger running softly over the ring.  “It looks good on you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you going all neanderthal on me, Derek Morgan?”  Emily teased softly.  “Me man, me mark my woman.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughing, Derek kissed her deeply.  “Yes.  Me man, you my woman.”  He said between kisses.  Their clothes started to fall to the floor as they backed into his bedroom.  They would clean it up tomorrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re gonna get married.”  He muttered in between kisses as he pulled off her shirt, letting it fall to the ground.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re gonna get married.”  Emily repeated softly, her hands pushing his pants down his hips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took them twenty minutes the next morning to find their clothes.  That night they laid in bed, her fingers ghosting over his chest, his hand spanned over her naked hip.  They were still sticky and slightly out of breath from their earlier activities, Emily’s hair thrown back in a loose ponytail on the top of her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When I first joined the BAU and had someone told me that six years later I’d be engaged to you…I would’ve laughed them right off the face of the earth.”  Emily admitted, twisting her ring on her finger.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek hummed, pressing a kiss on the back of her neck.  “When did it all change?  I mean, you looking at me differently?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kansas City.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, not the answer I was expecting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shrugged and rested her hand on top of his.  “Do you remember it?  The case with the missing homeless?  You surprised me, the way you dealt with people.  I mean you look like </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  And you give everyone the same respect and kindness, regardless of who they are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tightening his grip on her, Derek kept pressing kisses to her skin.  “I came off as a jerk?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her laugh sent ripples through her body, reverberating against his.  “No, just kinda full of himself.  And a player.  Remember Halloween honey?”  She teased.  “But after that, I saw you in a new light.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stayed silent, unmoving, the sweat cooling against their bodies.  His lips sucked softly on her skin, his eyes watching it turn from porcelain white to a soft pink and darker.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re gonna have to tell the team.”  She whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. Uh...JJ already knows.  Well she knows I was going to propose not that I already did.”  Derek corrected.  “They want to have a ‘family’ meal when we get in.  Maybe tomorrow?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded sleepily.  “Tomorrow.”  She agreed.  “We can book something tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His kisses on her skin lulled her to sleep, awakening in the early house of the morning, his arm still wrapped tight around her waist.  Derek was still asleep and Emily didn’t have the heart to wake him, so she grabbed the phone from the bedside table and started to flip through the group chat with the BAU that she had muted since arriving in Chicago.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Dinner tonight?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It was early, but totally unsurprising there were quick replies.  They settled for a dinner at Rossi’s, potluck style, at 6pm.  She stayed still, reading and flipping through her social media, until she felt Derek stir.  His grip tightened, his hand moving up to cup her breast.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How long have you been awake?”  He asked, his voice thick and gravelly with sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bout an hour.  Didn’t want to wake you.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hands kept moving softly, her body waking up.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I’m awake now…”</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <span>The dress of the day was casual, both Emily and Derek wearing jeans, Derek in a tshirt and sweatshirt, and Emily in a sweater.  She held a German Chocolate cake from one of their favourite bakeries.  JJ’s SUV was already parked, along with Hotch’s car in Rossi’s driveway  They pulled behind JJ’s vehicle and climbed out, his arm draped around her waist as they approached the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was rare that they got time off, let alone this much time off in a row and the team savoured it.  And now that Emily was back, even for a short while, seemed to make everything that much better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Things were as normal as things ever were with the team.  For a team of profilers, they hadn’t spotted the ring on Emily’s hand throughout supper, and it wasn’t until Emily was cuddled on Derek’s lap, discussing their trip to Chicago when the ring caught the light.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“WHAT IS THAT?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stopping, Emily looked over at Penelope who was waving her hand in their general direction.  She glanced down at Derek, who gave her a smug shrug, and then back at the group.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is what?”  She asked, playing dumb.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“THE GIANT ROCK ON YOUR LEFT HAND IS WHAT, EMILY PRENTISS.”  The technical analyst jumped up and grabbed her hand</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, that’s my engagement ring.”  Emily said flippantly, as if she got engaged every day.  She looked down at Derek who took her hand and kissed it softly.  Getting up from Derek’s lap, she walked over to where JJ, Garcia, and Tara were all sitting, while the men went into the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rossi poured three glasses of scotch, and one iced tea, passing them around.  “She’s going to make an honest man out of you.”  The older agent said, tipping his glass towards Derek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who would’ve thought.”  Hotch replied with a smirk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The women oohed and ahhed over the ring and the proposal, attention that Emily would never had liked or wanted had it been for anything else.  But she basked in the attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After the huge revelation, the night progressed as normal.  Derek excused himself to get another drink, unsurprised when he felt someone enter the kitchen after him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me, Derek Morgan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Turning, Derek gave Penelope an apologetic smile.  “It had to be a secret, Baby girl.”  He said, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She leaned against him and nodded.  “I’m happy for you two.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pressed a kiss on the top of her head.  “I’m happy for us two.  Really happy.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chiefs</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Something happens at the BAU that causes Emily to move home, and Derek to move on.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>“Engagement marks the end of a whirlwind romance and beginning of an eternal love story.” — Rajeev Ranjan</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next few months flew by in a whirlwind.  They hadn’t even started to plan their wedding yet, just enjoying the chance to be with each other as much as possible and spend their time being engaged.  She called her mother as soon as she got back to London and the ambassador was happy, albeit a bit shocked that she was engaged and that she was engaged to Derek Morgan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had been working with Hotch from London on a case, trying to find and capture Mr. Scratch, on top of her regular work with Interpol.  She wasn’t due back stateside for another couple of weeks, but she found herself on the Interpol jet in discussions with Rossi.  She wasn’t sure why the switch, but she knew enough to not ask.  The details would become clearer if needed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were all business.  Unless someone knew, they wouldn’t have guessed that Agent Morgan and Agent Prentiss were in a relationship, let alone engaged.  Sure, his hand lingered on the small of her back, and her fingers brushed over his hand every once in a while, but they were the utmost professionals.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The days flew by and she found herself in a closed office with Rossi.  “Are you sure you don’t want the job as unit chief?”  She asked, accepting his glass of Scotch with a nod.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Positive.  You know I don’t do politics.”  He sat down across from the younger agent and gave her a smile.  “Are you ready to be here?  Take over this merry band of misfits?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily took a sip of the amber liquid and stayed silent, collecting her thoughts.  “I want to be stateside, but I assumed I would make a move to the state department.  And this...it makes it a whole lot harder with Derek.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek’ll be fine.”  Rossi countered.  “He’ll be so proud of you and excited for you.  And, he’s a highly sought after agent.  I’m sure if he said that he was looking to transfer out of the BAU he’d have at least five different divisions come at him with offers.”  He swirled his scotch before giving Emily a smile.  “I’m not going to push you one way or the other, you still have time left in London but…”  He let his train of thought trail off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, she finished her drink and stood up, gathering her jacket.  “I’ll think about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s all we can ask, Em.  But, the team needs you.”  Rossi said, leaning back in his chair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Emily nodded and headed for the elevator.  BAU team leader.  Never in a million years would she have thought that she would be asked to be team leader.  But now, Hotch was in the program and they needed her.  Sure, London needed her, but this, this was different.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She climbed into the uber and leaned back in the seat, ignoring the driver’s attempt at making small talk, to send a message to Derek on her phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m heading home - we need to talk.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t until a few minutes later that she thought that maybe that phrase wasn’t the best one to send her fiancee.  His panicked texts only cemented it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rolling her eyes, Emily went to reply to her fiancee when her phone rang.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What does we need to talk mean?”  Derek exclaimed in way of greeting.  “Are you staying in London?  Are you breaking off the wedding?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was not what she had planned on for when she got home.  In fact she planned on drinking wine, having a hot bath, and having sex.  Not necessarily in that order.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek, I’m wearing your ring.  It has nothing to do with us.  I’m just about home, can we discuss it then?”  She asked wearily.  “I’ll be there in 10.”  Hanging up the phone, she rubbed her temples.  Thankfully the uber driver stayed silent.  Once he pulled up to Derek’s home, she made sure to give the man 5 stars and grabbed her stuff.  The house was silent as she entered, the lights off save for the flicker of the tv.  Bending down, she took off her boots before hanging up her jacket.  Knowing that Derek probably grabbed take out, she went and poured herself a bowl of cereal and a glass of wine.  She walked to the living room, settling on the couch beside him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cereal?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shrugged and took a bite.  “Didn’t want take out.”  She reasoned, putting the glass down on the coffee table.  “Sorry about the text, I didn’t think it out when I sent it.”  She admitted, nudging him with her elbow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, about that.  What’s the situation that we need to talk about?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Scooping up another spoonful of cereal, she chewed it slowly before setting it down.  “Hotch is in witness protection.”  She said seriously.  “He left the recommendation that I become the new unit chief of the BAU.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek picked up his beer bottle and brought it to his lips, swallowing before looking down at Emily.  “Well, you’re gonna have some paperwork on your desk then tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A perfectly plucked eyebrow arched and she looked at him, waiting for clarification.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I put in a transfer.”  He explained.  “I kind of figured that if we couldn’t catch Mr. Scratch in a week you’d stay.  I wasn’t sure about what was going to happen with Hotch, but you’re needed here.  And before you insist that I am too, I got an offer from Vicap.  Unit chief.  It would keep me in Quantico.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily picked up her wine glass and took a long swallow.  “You okay with it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wrapping his arm over Emily’s shoulders, she pulled her close.  “Emily, I am 100% okay with this.  You will be in Washington.  We will be together.  Hell, I’d turn in my gun and creds if it meant that you could stay here.  Plus, I think it’s pretty hot that you’d be the boss.”  He ended with a smirk, his eyebrows wiggling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shook her head and balanced the bowl of cereal on her knees.  He laughed softly and pressed a soft kiss on her temple.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is this how you eat when I’m not around?”  He teased, motioning to the half empty bowl of cereal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Scooping up another mouthful, Emily shrugged.  “Sometimes.  Or sometimes it’s just cheesy scrambled eggs and wine.  Or popcorn and wine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How you have survived this long is a mystery.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily finished her cereal and picked up her wine.  “Agreed, on so many levels.”  She laughed and leaned against him, curling her feet up underneath her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They watched the show that Morgan had on in silence until the credits rolled.  He looked down at her and gently removed the wine glass from her hands. “I can’t wait until you’re the director the FBI.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shaking her head, Emily wiggled free from his grasp.  “Let’s go to bed, we have a lot to figure out tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek got to his feet and allowed Emily to pull him towards the bedroom.  “At least you’re in DC now.  We can hire movers to pack up your stuff and send it stateside.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”  Emily stripped down and tossed her clothes in the hamper.  She pulled on a camisole and a pair of shorts with lace on the bottom before climbing into bed.  “It should be you, you know that?  You should be the one being unit chief.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek shrugged and tossed his clothes into the hamper, leaving him in his boxer briefs.  “Maybe a few years ago, yeah, but not now.”  He said getting in on the other side of the bed.  “You were unit chief in London for Interpol.  You have done such amazing things, and honestly, I would move heaven and Earth to bring you back here.  It’s terrible why Hotch has to leave, but it brings you home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snuggling up to his chest, Emily pressed a few soft kisses on his bare chest.  “Yeah.”  She hummed, her fingers brushing over his skin, his heartbeat calming her and lulling her to sleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>They spent the better part of the morning signing papers and moving their new home bases around.  Derek wasn’t upset about transferring to vicap.  He was in charge, was literally a floor below them and was available if they ever needed him for a consult.  While it was a new start for both of them individually, it was also a new start for them as a couple.  Sure, they had been engaged for four months, but they hadn’t actually lived together.  Derek’s house was small, not cramped, but small.  And it was his house, not their house.  They both knew that this move was going to create a ripple effect, and an eventual move to a different house, their wedding, them starting a life together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If they were being honest, Derek loved the move to Vicap and relished in the position of being the Unit Chief.  He liked the power, the authority, making the calls and taking on the responsibility.  Emily on the other hand, it was something that she had to grow into.  In London, she was the new American.  There were no expectations and if there were any, the bar was set so low she could step over it.  In the back of her mind was Hotch, or more the ghost of Hotch and the reason why he left the BAU.  To keep his son safe.  She knew that after the wedding they were going to go see a fertility specialist and start the ball rolling on getting pregnant, but there was this nagging feeling in the back of her mind about her being able to keep a baby safe.  Jack was 4 when Foyette took Hailey, and he was 13 when Mr. Scratch threatened him and his father.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rubbing her temples, lost in her own world, she didn’t hear Tara knock at the door.  Twice.  The darker woman cracked the door open and stuck her head in.  “How’s it going, boss?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily looked up and gave Tara a shrug.  “I hated paperwork in London, I hate it here too.”  Putting down her pen, she nodded towards the empty chair across from her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And it’s not you missing Derek?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughing, Emily reached over to her mini fridge and pulled out two flavoured sparkling waters, passing one to Tara.  “He’s just down the hall, much better than across the world.”  She reasoned popping the top of her drink.  “It’s just all sort of surreal, I mean being here and being </span>
  <em>
    <span>here</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”  She motioned to her office.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shrugging, Tara popped the top of her drink and brought it to her lips.  She took a long sip before looking back at Emily.  “You’re doing great.  And I know that I’m not the only one that thinks that, and I’m sure Derek is thrilled that you’re home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That much was true, her stuff was going to get shipped next week and she had handed in her resignation at Interpol.  It was official.  She was home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sauntered onto the BAU floor, his jacket under his arm.  It was late, but not as late as it could be, and probably should be.  The floor was empty, but Emily’s light was still on.  He hoped to get her away from the office and they could grab some food and do some house hunting online.  Taking the steps two by two, he pounded on her door frame, watching as she looked up from her file.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Time to go home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her mouth opened to argue, but she nodded, closing the file.  “Alright.  There’s just so much stuff that we didn’t see Hotch do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know.  I did the job, remember?  The same thing at Vicap...lots of paperwork after the fact.”  He waited for her to gather her things before wrapping his arm around her waist and leading her out of her office.  “What are you thinking for supper?  Thai?  Pizza?  Sushi?  Indian?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her lithe body leaned into his and he shrugged.  “Thai is fine.”  They made their way to the elevator and she leaned up, placing a few kisses on his jaw.  “Order in and we can start looking at houses?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded, rubbing the small of her back as the elevator stopped at the ground floor.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Dress</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The ladies find THE dress</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Marriage lets you annoy that special someone for the rest of your life - unknown</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Derek, I don’t care.”  Emily said from the spot on the floor where she was sitting cross legged, flipping through a case file, the bridal magazine long since abandoned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course you care.  You’re a woman and it’s your wedding.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pillow smacked him hard in the face and he glared down at Emily whose eyebrow was arched so high it disappeared into her black hair.  “What was that for?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Back your sexist ass up a second, you and PG have done more planning than I have for our wedding.  I don’t care what colour flowers we have.  I don’t care what venue we get married in.  I don’t care what kind of cake we have - no actually I do - that will be chocolate.  But everything else, I don’t care.”  Emily spit out quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His face fell, and Emily fought back the urge to roll her eyes.  Getting up off the floor, she dropped herself in his lap and pressed a hand to his cheek.  “I didn’t say I don’t care about our marriage, I said I don’t care about a wedding.  I’d marry you tomorrow in our sweatpants if it meant we were married.”  She wrapped her arms around his neck.  “It’s about us, not the day.”  Pressing a few soft kisses on his lips, she watched as his body visibly relaxed and he wrapped his arms around her waist holding her close.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As hot as you look in sweatpants, are you sure you don’t want to wear a white dress?”  Derek teased, pressing a few kisses on her neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily smiled and shrugged.  “As long as I get the one that I want.  My mother, and your mother keep finding these dresses that are so </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>me.”  Grabbing her phone, Emily passed it to Derek, showing him a few options of dresses.  “Firstly they were both offended when I said that I wasn’t going to wear white and my mother was even more offended when I said that I refuse to pretend that either of us are blushing virgins.  I want something cream or ivory, simple, clean.  I don’t want to look like a cupcake or a pile of cotton candy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A low chuckle rose from Derek’s chest and he shook his head.  “I doubt you’ll look like either of those.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Frowning, Emily flipped through her phone and found a few examples of the dress that they had selected for her to try on.  “And does THAT look like something I’d wear?”  It was fluffy, many layers of tafida, definitely something that he knew Emily wouldn’t wear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that’s not what I imagined you wearing.”  Derek admitted flipping through the pictures.  “You are going out with JJ, Pen, and Tara though this weekend to search for dresses, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded.  “Yeah, hopefully Tara and JJ can temper Penelope.  She agrees with our mothers about the dresses.”  Sighing, she shifted in his lap so she was straddling him, her hands still linked around his neck.  “And don’t think that you’re out of the woods, Mr. Morgan.”  She said resting her forehead against his.  “Because there have been talks of morning coats and a top hat.”  She couldn’t help but giggle at the look on Derek’s face.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Emily was three glasses of champagne in and she finished the last swallow before the woman wheeled out another rack of dresses.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“These are more expensive...a bit more...custom.”  The woman explained to Emily who had, up until this point, hated every single dress.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Emily refilled her glass before starting to look through the rack.  Too much tafida, too long, too fluffy, too sparkly…everything was too much.  She was ready to give up when JJ came from around the corner and grabbed her best friend by the elbow.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have to see this dress, Em.”  JJ said, a glass of champagne in her own hand.  “It’s amazing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her brown eyes rolled, but Emily followed her best friend around the corner.  Tara was holding the dress and she passed it to Emily.  It had a nude underlay with an ivory portion with delicate floral appliques.  The neckline was a v neck, and the back plunged low.  It was stunning.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go try it on.”  Tara urged softly.  She reached out and took the glass from Emily’s hand and started to guide her towards the dressing room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The dress itself was a bit big, but the owner of the store pinned it so it fit properly.  It hugged her curves but wasn’t too revealing.  Standing in front of the mirror she stared at herself.  It was perfect.  This was the dress she was going to marry Derek Morgan in.  Turning slowly to face her three friends, she swallowed hard, her words escaping her.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ and Tara exchanged knowing looks, each of them having gone through this already.  Penelope took a step forward and wrapped Emily up in a tight hug.  “Em, you look absolutely stunning.”  She took a step back and looked at her friends.  “Doesn’t she look amazing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily looked over her shoulder, glancing at her friends.  “I think I found my wedding dress.”  She whispered.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>JJ gave Derek an apologetic smile as they walked through the door, a drunk and giggly Emily in tow.  Tara and Penelope came in after, the four of them dropping on the couch together.  Derek walked in and his eyebrows arched, seeing the four drunk women.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ladies…”  He said, his arms crossed over his chest, a smirk on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“DEREK!”  Penelope yelled, making grabby hands at him.  “My chocolate thunder!  We found bridesmaid dresses, and Em found a wedding dress and they had free champagne and chocolate covered strawberries.”  She rambled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The smirk on his face grew.  “I see that.  And you ladies had a few glasses?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tara shook her finger at Derek.  “No, we did not have a few glasses.  We had three bottles.”  She said, crossing her legs at the ankles.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And no lunch.”  JJ piped up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked at all of the women and shook his head before his gaze settled on his fiancee.  Emily smiled up at him with a proud smile on her face, the drunken glow washing over her face, her dark eyes fuzzy and veiled with alcohol.  “You four, what am I going to do with you?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily gave him a grin and extended her hand, pulling him down for a kiss, ignoring the wolf whistles.  “I love you.”  She whispered before pulling away.  “How bout...you get us some waters and the face masks I have upstairs?”  She asked, batting her eyelashes at him.  “Please?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughing, Derek placed a soft kiss on her forehead.  “I’m also going to get you drunks some food.”  He said, pulling away, shaking his head.  The women all started to talk at warp speed, giggling on the couch.  Derek watched them all with a gentle smile.  He loved all of them for different reasons, but he loved them nonetheless.  Placing waters on the coffee table, Derek fired up the grill to feed the four women.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had been around all of them when they were hungover before, but not necessarily drunk.  Penelope was just normal Penelope but louder and gigglier.  JJ was the happy touchy drunk, braiding Penelope’s hair.  Tara was loud, and almost defiant.  And Emily, he had seen Emily drunk before, but they usually ended in bed after.  Putting the plate of burgers,raw vegetables, and chips in front of the women, he retreated to the basement to watch TV.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few hours later, he reemerged, the food finished and the ladies had moved to their bedroom, all four lying together in their king sized bed.  “Ladies, do you have a change of clothes packed?”  He asked, leaning against the doorframe.  Tara held up a finger and rolled her eyes.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course we do, unit chief Derek Morgan.  We’re in the FBI - the federal bureau of investigation - we’re always prepared.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking in the scene in front of him, he shook his head, sighing deeply.  “I don’t think you can say that when you guys are all drunk and in my bed with my fiancee.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re in my car, Hot stuff!”  Penelope called.  “Mine, JJ’s, and T’s...because Emily lives here and she doesn’t need a go bag…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rolling his eyes, Derek went out and grabbed three bags, easily able to figure out whose was whose.  Tara’s was black and silver with a monogrammed TL on the side, JJ’s was a University of Pittsburgh soccer team bag, and Penelope’s, hers looked like a unicorn threw up on it.  Dropping them off on the bed, he went over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of cotton pyjama pants and a tank top before grabbing a pair of shorts and a camisole for Emily, tossing them at her.  “I’m going to go sleep in the spare room.”  He called, shutting their bedroom door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bed wasn’t as big as theirs, but it was so empty without Emily.  He started having problems sleeping without her, but regardless, he fell into a heavy sleep.  A few hours later he awoke, feeling the bed dip under someone else’s weight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t sleep without you.”  Emily whispered, her front against his back.  “And JJ kicks.  And Tara talks in her sleep.  And Penelope snores.”  She mumbled.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek laughed softly and rolled over so he could wrap his arms around her, his chin resting on her shoulder.  “Poor baby.”  He teased, his hand under her tank top, his hand spanning across her pale stomach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up.”  Emily mumbled, pressing her cold feet against his warm ones.  “I’m tired.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you too.”  He whispered as she quickly fell asleep in his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The women were still fast asleep when Derek sneaked into the main bedroom to grab a change of clothes to go running in.  He ran a fast five miles before heading home to make breakfast for his probably extremely hungover colleagues.  JJ was already up, leaning heavily on the counter and watching the coffee drink into the pot below.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Morning sunshine.”  He teased, grabbing a bowl and the ingredients to make waffles.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck off, Derek.”  The blonde mumbled, her eyes never leaving the coffee pot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughing softly, Derek made the batter before pulling out two packages of bacon and placing them on a baking sheet and tossing them in the oven.  JJ poured herself a mug of coffee and retreated to the couch.  Derek set out five plates and made a plateful of waffles before he ventured into the spare bedroom to wake up Emily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cracking the door, he stood in the doorway just watching her as she stirred slowly.  “Is that coffee I smell?”  She croaked, sitting up slowly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“JJ is making something that resembles coffee.”  He said with a smirk.  “I’m going to make breakfast, if you want to go wake up the other two.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, then wincing, Emily got to her feed, swaying slightly.  Derek wrapped her in his arms and gave her a soft kiss, holding her tight.  “I love you beautiful.”  He whispered before letting her go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Heading back to the kitchen, JJ had poured herself a mug of coffee and was sitting on the couch, while Derek started making waffles, the bacon cooking in the oven.  A few moments later Tara wandered out of the bedroom, and poured herself a cup of coffee without speaking.  Penelope appeared a few moments later and just made a bee-line for the couch.  Knowing better than to speak to any of the women, he silently made a plate of waffles and pulled out the bacon setting it on the table.  One by one they sat down and started to pile food on their plates.  Emily emerged from the bedroom, hair wet from an obvious shower and just leaned against Derek.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, I heard that you found a wedding dress?”  He asked, pressing a kiss on Emily’s forehead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s absolutely gorgeous.”  JJ said over her cup of coffee. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Penelope chewed a strip of bacon thoughtfully before turning to Derek.  “So, have you thought about what you’re going to wear?”  She asked, her eyebrows arching and what could only be described as an evil look on her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A suit.”  Derek replied with a shrug.  Pulling a chair out for Emily, he stayed behind her, toying with her hair as they spoke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh no.  Derek Morgan is not going to get married in </span>
  <em>
    <span>just</span>
  </em>
  <span> a suit if I have anything to do with it.”  The technician said with a nod.  “Have you thought about a tux?  Or a morning dress?  Or tails?!”  She started to list off all of the different colour and pattern options, suspenders, jackets and lapels.  Derek looked down at Emily who gave him a shrug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your turn.”  She said before pulling him down for another kiss.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is the dress in case anyone wants to actually see what it looks like.</p><p>https://www.bhldn.com/products/liesel-gown</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. House</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Some of Emily's insecurities come out and they make a big step.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>"Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind." — William Shakespeare, "A Midsummer Night's Dream"</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He noticed it long ago, she was back chewing her nails.  Gently, Derek placed his hand over hers and gave her a smile.  “You okay?”  He asked softly.  It was one of their rare nights off together, and had spent the past hour just cuddling on the couch listening to whatever music came on their playlists.  They had narrowed down their housing choices to about 8 different choices, choosing to look in Fairfax to stay close to most of the team.  Rossi was just outside of Fairfax, while everyone else was in or around it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shrugged, her left hand coming up to her mouth.  After a few long moments, she looked at Derek, her dark eyes full of questions and insecurity.  “I feel like I’m failing, Derek.”  She admitted softly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The music was turned off as he gave her his undivided attention.  His eyebrows arched and he nodded slightly, a silent request to continue.  “Being the unit chief, I don’t know if I’m doing a good job - if I’m doing anything right.  And being a fianceé.  This is our first night together in weeks…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His lips cut off her rambles and she slowly calmed, returning his kiss.  “Are you done yet?”  Derek asked, pulling away.  She blinked a few times before looking back at him.  Her mouth opened, then closed again without saying a word.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Holy shit, I’ve rendered Emily Prentiss speechless.”  Derek crowed happily, his eyes shining in delight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shaking her head, Emily made a face.  “Shut up, Derek.”  There was no way she was going to admit that he was right, that he had kissed her speechless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed, deep and low, reverberating through her body.  Smirking, Derek shook his head and pressed a kiss on her lips again, enjoying the knowledge of what he did to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There are days I wake up in the middle of the night and I have to remember that you’re actually here with me.”  Emily whispered softly.  “That you chose me, that you love me.  Because you, Derek Morgan, could have anyone in the world and you chose me.  You chose the person who can’t cook, hires a cleaner, a workaholic, slightly neurotic -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Again, his lips cut her off.  “Emily, stop.”  He said, shaking his head.  “I love you, and am IN love with you.  Head over heels in love with you.  I don’t care that you can’t cook.  Neither can I.  We’ll learn or we’ll order those meal prep boxes.  Listen, I didn’t date you, fall in love with you, and propose to you because of your cooking skills.  I fell in love with you because you’re caring, incredibly smart, amazing at your job...you’re beautiful, you’re sweet…”  Giving her a gentle smile, he pressed their foreheads together.  “And trust me, Princess, when we first met I was positive that there was no way a woman like Emily Prentiss was going to go after a guy like Derek Morgan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This time it was her turn to laugh.  “Why on Earth did you think that?”  She asked with an honest smile on her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The beautiful rich ambassador’s daughter.  Speaks multiple languages.  Woman, you are intimidating.”  Derek shrugged, kissing the corner of her mouth.  “I wasn’t sure you would ever think of me the way I thought of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sat in silence for a long time until Derek sat back with a chuckle.  “You know, had we not been so damn stubborn, maybe we could’ve been married already.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shook her head.  “Nah, you weren’t ready to settle down, neither was I.  We both would’ve been left broken hearted.”  Sighing, she leaned against him, taking his arm and slinging it over her shoulder.  She nestled against him, listening to the steady beat of his heart.  There were days that she thought about quitting the BAU, finding some job in the state department where she could be home by 5pm, but she loved what she did.  But she loved Derek and wanted this to work.  If she was being honest, she would do anything to make this work.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tomorrow they had an appointment to meet their realtor to look at a few homes in Fairfax.  It wasn’t any further than they already lived, and all of the homes had a minimum of three bedrooms.  Now that she was here, settled in DC, that left the other thing.  The thing that they avoided speaking about.  Babies.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every time she saw Henry and Michael, her heart lurched a little bit.  Every time there was a case involving children, her heart sunk a bit and her soul was crushed and left her questioning.  Even if they could have kids, did they want to bring a child into a world as messed up as the one they dealt with every day?  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She must’ve zoned out for longer than she had thought because she felt Derek shift under her as he looked at her, a concerned look on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry.  Just thinking of our next steps.”  Emily admitted, brushing her hair off her face.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He noticed the use of the plural, knowing exactly what she was talking about.  Their wedding, buying a house, taking the steps to have a baby.  “What’s bothering you, Princess?”  Derek asked gently, turning so they were face to face.  “Cold feet?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A smirk played on her lips and Emily shook her head. “About marrying you and buying a house?  Nah.  We’re already living in sin.”  She teased.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His dark eyes rolled and he reached over to turn off the tv, pulling her to her feet.  “So why the thinking face?”  He asked, leading her around as they locked up.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“More about us having kids.  I mean, we see the worst of the worst Derek...are we ready to bring a child into that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their footsteps slowed and finally stopped, Derek turning and placing his hands on her hips.  “I can’t think of two other people who are better equipped to protect our babies from the evils of the world.”  Leaning forward, he pressed their foreheads together.  He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone.  “Google turn on my speakers.”  He said, waiting for the telltale blue light.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few seconds later music filled the room.  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy.</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need.</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I love you more with every breath, truly madly deeply do</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I will be strong, I will be faithful 'cause I'm counting on a new beginning.</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>A reason for living. A deeper meaning.</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I want to stand with you on a mountain.</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I want to bathe with you in the sea.</span>
  </em>
  <em></em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  
  <em>
    <span>I want to lay like this forever.</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em></em>
  <span>Until the sky falls down on me</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They moved and rocked softly with the music, their bodies pressed together.  His arms wrapped around her, holding her tight.  “I will never let you fall.”  He whispered before pressing a small kiss on the corner of her mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a small simple movement to show his love and adoration.  Emily looped her arms around his neck as they danced.  Slowly she cupped his face and kissed him softly.  In his arms she felt safe, she felt loved, she felt home.  In his arms, she was home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The world stopped spinning on its axis and it was just them.  Just Derek and Emily.  They weren’t FBI agents, they weren’t unit chiefs, they were just two people head over heels in love with each other.  They kissed until they ran out of oxygen, lightheaded and dizzy.  Before they got together, Emily wasn’t sure she believed in true love, that it was something made in fairy tales, but then Derek Morgan appeared in her life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the alarm went off the next morning, they were exhausted but felt like a couple.  A normal couple.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They showered together, thankful that they had scheduled their first house showing for late morning and were able to pull themselves together in time.  Their realtor, a pleasant middle aged woman showed them through the first few properties.  They were nice but they weren’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>their </span>
  </em>
  <span>house.  Emily was ready to give up when the realtor drove to a large home on the end of a cul-de-sac.  “This house just came on the market yesterday.  It’s got four bedrooms on the main floor, plus a full basement.  It’s about 2300 square feet, three bathrooms.  It has a huge backyard, there’s currently a pool and a hottub as well as an outdoor kitchen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek’s ears perked at that.  While neither of them were amazing cooks, he did enjoy grilling.  The three of them headed inside and got the official tour of the house before the realtor left them alone.  The house was empty, the family having been transferred overseas earlier in the week.  It was easy to imagine the house full of children, their feet running across the hardwood floors.  Emily found herself standing in front of one of the rooms, animals still stenciled on the wall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her heart lurched knowing that this was a child’s room, probably a baby’s room.  Closing her eyes she allowed her mind to wander, to dream.  Even five years ago, there would’ve been no way that she would dream about having babies, but here she was, standing in the middle of an empty room dreaming about starting a family with her partner.  With her fiancee.  With Derek fucking Morgan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tears welled in the corner of her eyes as she traced the stencils.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek stooped in the doorway, just watching Emily.  He knew where her emotions came from and again, he was unable to fix the hurt she was feeling.  Slowly, as to not scare her, he walked up behind, wrapping his arms around her waist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is our house.”  Emily whispered softly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He held her, pressing a kiss to her temple.  “I know.  I felt it too.”  He had already spoken with their realtor and it was slightly out of the price range they wanted to spend.  It wasn’t that they couldn’t afford it, they could, but with fertility treatments on the horizon and </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had the tendency to finish each other's sentences, but reading each other’s minds was new.  “I have money in my savings account.  I mean, in my </span>
  <em>
    <span>other</span>
  </em>
  <span> savings account.”  Emily said quietly.  “It’s my trust fund.  There’s a lot of money in there, I haven’t touched it since I was legally able to touch it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Things that I never thought I would ever hear.  That my fianceé would have a trust fund.”  He pressed a kiss to her shoulder.  After a few moments he pulled away.  “Well, let’s go put in an offer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes scanned the room before falling back on him and she nodded.  “Okay.”  She reached for him, knowing where he was without looking.  Their fingers interlaced and they walked downstairs together to meet the realtor.  If she noticed her tears, she never let on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was no longer going to be them living at Derek’s house, it was going to be their home.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Emily and Derek move into their new home</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay, so I'm introducing a few new characters this chapter, their neighbours.  They are important for later chapters.  I'm not necessarily happy with this chapter because it doesn't move as fast as my other chapters, but take it as you may.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“We love the things we love for what they are.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>― </span>
  <b>Robert Frost</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The weeks seemed to fly by, case after case, and them using their little free time to pack up Derek’s house.  It was amazing how much </span>
  <em>
    <span>crap</span>
  </em>
  <span> the two of them had collected in their separate and combined lives.  Finally, they had the house packed up and piled into moving trucks.  They were adults and didn’t even have to bribe their friends with beer and pizza to help them move.  Over the next two days, things were unpacked and they could finally say that it was their house.  They had a housewarming party planned for next week so they intended on enjoying their time off before having to go back to reality.  Grabbing two beers from the fridge, Emily nodded to Derek and headed outside.  The pool wasn’t filled yet, but that would be for next summer.  Standing with her toes in the grass, Emily passed her fiancee a beer and leaned into him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We should look at getting the pool and hot tub fenced off.”  She mumbled softly, taking a sip of her drink.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded, wrapping his arm around her waist, knowing what she had left unsaid.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The yard was large, had a big sitting area, lots of grass, the pool and hot tub, and along the side of the house an area for a garden.  They pulled out some of the new patio furniture they had just purchased, Emily slipping inside to grab the cushions.  He was ready to follow her when a soft grunt caught his attention by the corner of the fence.  Putting his beer down he went to investigate.  A small body dropped over the fence into the bushes and toddled over.  Derek froze.  What the hell?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The little boy brushed his pants off and toddled past Derek as if he didn’t exist and made a beeline for the bushes in the corner and disappeared.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Emmm…”  Derek called confused and in disbelief.  “Emmm...we have a situation…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily reappeared, arms full of cushions, dropping them on the respective chairs.  “What is the situation?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pointed to the bush silently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Emily shook her head and walked over, pushing some of the branches aside.  The little boy looked up at her, mouth full of strawberries and dirt and gave her a gap toothed grin.  “Well hello there buddy.”  Emily cooed, picking him up.  “Where did you come from?”  She glanced at Derek who pointed to the yard to their right.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He dropped in.  Like fell over the fence.”  Derek said with an amazed tone in his voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The little boy had a head full of fat dark curls, his skin a shade or two darker than Derek’s.  He had pale hazel eyes and a chubby round face.  He cuddled against Emily and twirled her hair around his finger.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna go tell them.”  Derek announced still shaking his head when he heard voices come from over the fence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where’s Noah?”  One voice yelled.  He didn’t hear the rest when he saw a woman walk into the back yard.  She was about their age, olive skin, a scarf loosely draped over her hair.  “Seriously, how can we lose a KID?  Noah!  </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘Ayn ‘ant ya Noah</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek walked over and looked over the fence, giving the woman a smile.  “I think we have your son.  He...must’ve climbed over.”  He said with a shrug.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The woman sighed heavily and rolled her eyes.  “That doesn’t surprise me.  He has zero interest in talking, but scaling fences is apparently within his range of abilities.”  She walked over their combined gate and opened it.  “I apologize I’m Taala Rasheed-Wallace.”  She introduced herself, walking over towards Emily.  Emily went to put the little boy down, but he buried his face in her shoulder and tightened his grip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Taala gave Emily a tight smile.  “Sorry, I can grab him.  He’s quite heavy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s fine.”  Emily cooed, rubbing the little boy’s back.  “He’s perfect.”  Her voice dropped off and Derek stepped in.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m Derek Morgan, this is my fiancee Emily Prentiss.  I saw the motorcycle in your driveway...yours?”  He asked about changing the topic quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nope, that’s Ken’s.  I’ll send a text.  Ken’s just inside.”  She said, pulling out her phone and firing off a quick text.  A few moments later, a younger woman emerged from the house and walked over.  She was tall, maybe Tara’s height, and had her curls pulled up into a mass on the top of her head.  She  had the same complexion as Derek and had a smattering of freckles on her round face. Derek looked at her with a confused look before the younger woman rolled her eyes and turned to Taala.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She called me Ken, right?  Seriously Taal, you have to stop doing that.”  She shook her head and extended her hand.  “Mackenzie Rasheed-Wallace.  The comedian here’s wife.”  She looked over at Noah who was snoozing in Emily’s arms.  “I hear our son escaped.  Again.  I’m sorry, I don’t even know how he did it this time, like we don’t even have anything for him to climb on over there.”  She spoke at a fast clip.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily smiled at the sleeping boy.  “It’s fine.  Really.  I’m Emily and this is Derek, we just moved in.”  She tried to hand Noah back to his mother but he whimpered and held tight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pushing errant hair off her face, Mackenzie shook her head.  “Why don’t you guys come over for a drink.  I have some stuff baking and then we can actually put El Destructo to bed.”  She suggested.  “Today is one of my days off,”  Mackenzie continued.  “I’m a lawyer with the JAG corps, Judge Advocate General.  I work out of Falls Church.”  Kicking off her shoes she headed to the kitchen and pulled out some muffins</span>
  <span> out of the oven.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re with the FBI.”  Emily said as she was able to gently pass the boy off to Taala who went and put him in his crib.  “I’m the unit chief of the Behavioural Analysis Unit, and he’s the unit chief of Vicap.”  Sitting down beside Derek she gave the younger woman a smile.  Taala returned and playfully nudged her wife before sitting down at the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your names sounded familiar. I’m with the FBI too, technically at least.”  Taala said, grabbing a muffin and juggling it carefully.  “I work at Walter Reed, Bethesda.  Chief of the Trauma unit.”  She said peeling back the wrapper and opening the muffin, allowing the steam to escape.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie pulled out some beer out of the fridge, passing them out before grabbing herself a sparkling water and perching on the edge of the chair.  She was always moving, her leg tapping under the table, always shifting on the chair.  Taala on the other hand was the embodiment of zen.  Quiet, calm, and soft spoken.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds like you guys are pretty high up in the FBI chain if you’re both unit chiefs.”  Mackenzie commented motioning to the muffins.  “Please, take one.  Or more.  I stress bake.”  She said in way of explanation.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taala smirked and squeezed her wife’s forearm.  “She also stress eats which is why she’s wanting you to eat the muffins.”  She teased.  Looking towards Emily and Derek, she smiled softly.  “You guys don’t have to stay if you have other things to do.”  She said gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily grabbed a muffin and peeled off the wrapper.  “No, we are off, hopefully, for the next couple of days.  It’s nice to know the people that live beside you and I know that Derek was itching to look at the bike and talk motorcycles.”  She said glancing at Derek who gave what he hoped was a nonchalant shrug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was just changing the oil, but we can go take a look.”  Mackenzie said getting to her feet.  She grabbed her drink and started to head out, Derek in tow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> It was obvious to Emily, because of her profiler training, how much younger Mackenzie was than them.  Turning to Taala, she gave her a small smile.  “Is Noah your only child?”  She asked softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For right now, yes.  I tried to carry but it wasn’t happening, so Kenzie did.”  Taala shrugged.  “I wasn’t willing to do all of the treatments when I had another option.”  She took a sip of her beer and watched Emily carefully.  “Are you and Derek looking at starting a family?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Biting down on the inside of her cheek, Emily nodded.  “Thinking about it.  I dunno, I’m older...I...I’ve had a history.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taala ran her finger over the edge of her drink.  “Doesn’t matter.  There are hormone treatments, there’s IVF if it gets to that point.”  She said with a smile.  “If you and Derek want a family, there are ways.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded and took a sip of her beer.  “We want to start one, it’s just complicated.  Our jobs make it hard…”  She knew that was an excuse that she was able to use for a lot of things.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I get it.  I’m a trauma surgeon and my wife is a Marine lawyer.  I totally get it and sometimes it’s tough but it’s with it.”  Taala said with a genuine smile.  “And if you two ever decide to start a family and need some help and guidance let me know.  I know the best fertility specialist the FBI medical team has, and I know the best doctor of maternal and fetal medicine.”  She said wincing as she heard an engine rev.  “I just wish she’d get rid of that thing.” Getting up she shook her head.  “I’m going to go make sure my wife doesn’t kill herself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Following suit, Emily put her drink down and followed Taala outside.  “I’m sure Derek will be doing it too.”  She said watching as Mackenzie revved the engine before turning the bike off.  Derek grinned widely before walking back to Emily.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Her bike is SO cool Em.  You have to see some of the upgrades that’s on it…”  He started to ramble.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taala raised her eyebrows and laughed softly.  “Sorry, though at least they have each other to play with.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shook her head and laughed, and they watched their significant others gush and talk about motorcycles making sure neither killed themselves.  After a while they returned inside the house, Mackenzie going and checking on the baby.  She returned with a sleepy Noah in her arms.  The little boy cuddled into his mother’s chest and yawned.  With practiced ease, she went and grabbed some cheerios and cut up a banana before coming back to the table.  Noah leaned over and reached for Emily.  She took him and sat him on her lap as the little boy started to eat silently.  Derek watched her with an amazed look as she so naturally held the boy and protected him.  The little boy stayed glued to Emily until they started to leave.  Exchanging numbers, Mackenzie fired quick texts before they headed back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even someone who wasn’t a profiler could read what was going through Emily’s mind.  She was quiet until she sat down beside Derek, her feet curling up under her.  He could wait her out, knowing that Emily was someone who couldn’t be pushed.  Pushed too hard and she would shut down.  After a few minutes, she looked at him.  “Derek, I want to go off my birth control.”  She stated seriously.  “It could take a while for us to get pregnant...and….”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was cut off by his lips on hers.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Aftermath</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Emily and Derek have to deal with the aftermath of a loving night and they host their house warming party.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>“Anyone who is in love is making love the whole time, even when they're not. When two bodies meet, it is just the cup overflowing. They can stay together for hours, even days. They begin the dance one day and finish it the next, or--such is the pleasure they experience--they may never finish it. No eleven minutes for them.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>― Paulo Coelho, </span>
    <span>Eleven Minutes</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tara and JJ exchanged glances as they watched Emily, their boss Emily, walk gingerly back into her office and shut the door.  They had finished their files and were going through some consultations, but if they were being honest, they were spending more time gossiping than working.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Should we tell her?”  Tara mused, spinning the pencil between her fingers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stephen Walker, the newest member of the team glanced up and shook his head.  “I’ve known Emily a long time, she’s gonna be PISSED.”  He leaned back in his chair and stared up at Emily’s office door.  “Though, it is kind of funny.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ nodded, sipping her tea.  “Hilarious actually, but...we should probably go tell her.  See if she even knows about it.”  She looked towards Tara who shrugged, getting to her feet.  It was better to go in numbers.  She knocked at the door softly and let herself in.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ummm Em…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily looked up from her work and put her pen down.  “Jayje.  Tara.  What can I help you with?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ sat down across from Emily and looked up at Tara who followed suit.  “Um...did you…”  She looked at Tara for support who just shrugged.  “Emily you have a giant hickey on the side of your neck.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All the blood rushed from her face and Emily rushed from her desk to the small mirror she kept in the cabinet.  “That mother fucker.”  She muttered, looking back at Tara and JJ.  “I’m going to kill him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tara laughed and got to her feet.  “I’ll go see if Garcia has a scarf you can borrow.”  She said, a wide smile on her face.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blonde walked over to her best friend and gave her a gentle smile.  “At least we don’t have a case or you don’t have a meeting…”  She said gently.  “It could be worse.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Frowning, Emily tugged at her shirt.  “I’m gonna text him right now.”  She muttered, grabbing her phone and started typing away on her phone.  Setting it down with a loud thud she ran her fingers through her hair.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad that you and Derek are...having fun?”  JJ said, her intonation creating a question.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dark hair swirled and Emily exhaled loudly.  “Just stop trying to make it better, JJ.”  Sitting down at her desk, she shook her head.  “I’m the BAU unit chief and I have a HICKEY.  Jesus, if Barnes or anyone else saw…”  Her hands shook with anger and she flexed them a few times.  A few deep breaths and she exhaled slowly.  “We, all of us, me, you, Tara, even Penelope, we all work twice as hard as any of the men to get where we are...and it could get derailed for something as stupid as a fucking hickey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was odd hearing Emily swear.  She was usually the most put together one out of their group and seeing her this rattled was...unnerving.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No one saw, Em.”  JJ reassured her friend.  “Just us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Face darkening, Emily shook her head.  “I’ve been trying so hard to get here and…”  Her hand flew up to her neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door opened and Tara stepped in with a couple of different scarves.  Reading the room, she stayed silent and handed the scarves to Emily.  She wasn’t a scarf wearer, but allowed Tara to tie one around her neck to hide the hickey.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek wandered up from the Vicap floor, a hoodie in his arms, a smirk on his face.  He gave Stephen a salute and nodded at Luke, both of them exchanging worried looks as the other unit chief took the steps two by two up to his fiancé’s office.  In hindsight, they probably should've warned him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Knocking on the door, he didn’t wait for an answer and swung it open.  The three women turned and stared at him, Tara and JJ flanking Emily on either side.  His eyes narrowed and he frowned.  “Why are you wearing that scarf?  Isn’t that Garcia’s because you don’t take me for a rainbows girl…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both Tara and JJ exchanged glances that could only be read as worried and the taller of the two raised her hand in a mock salute.  “Peace out, Derek Morgan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God speed.”  JJ added as they quickly left, shutting the door behind them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily pulled the scarf off and tilted her head to the side.  His eyes fell to the dark mark on her pale skin and a flush of pride washed over him.  HE made those marks.  Reaching out, his fingers ran over the bruise momentarily, pulling away when her hand slapped his hand away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anger flashed in her eyes and she shook her head.  “Don’t.  Don’t even go all macho and take pride in the fact that you MARKED me.”  Emily sat down on her desk and shook her head.  “Derek, what if someone else saw this?  Someone that isn’t on the team?”  She shifted her weight from leg to leg, still sore from their night of lovemaking.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shrugged.  “I didn’t exactly think about that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Obviously.”  Emily grabbed his hoodie from his arms and put it on..  She sighed heavily, brushing her fingers through her hair.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.”  And he was.  Honestly and truly sorry.  Some things that he did previous, with other partners, didn’t fly with Emily.  With a few steps, he closed the gap between them and he wrapped his arms around her.  “I promise I won’t do it again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That wasn’t the solution she wanted, because she LIKED it, but not where it was visible.  “How about next time we do it somewhere that we know is going to be covered?”  Leaning forward, Emily pecked his lips softly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright.”  He returned her kiss gently and zipped it up.  “Thankfully neither of us are on call this week.”  Derek reasoned softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank goodness for small mercies.”  Emily stood up and slowly walked around her desk.  His eyes were on her and she sat down before shooting him a glare.  “Yeah yeah yeah Mr. Caveman.  I’m still sore.  Now go away and get back to work.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His laugh could be heard through the closed door before he emerged and sauntered back to his own floor, his own office.  It wasn’t until after lunch that anyone dared to visit Emily, who for all intents and purposes, seemed completely normally minus her slower movements.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Despite swearing they weren’t going to fill the pool until next year, the heat wave in Virginia made it easy for them to nix that decision and fill it before their housewarming.  Emily was wearing a light blue tank top and jean shorts, while Derek wore a light grey tshirt and bright green shorts.  The pool was full, with a fence surrounding it.  A small fire pit sat in the corner, unlit but ready for sunset.  Emily was dumping ice into the cooler and tossing in drinks when their doorbells rang.  JJ, Will, Henry, and Michael stood there, JJ with Michael on her hip and food in her free hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on in guys.”  Emily smiled, reaching for the food in JJ’s arms.  “Derek’s out back, we have some games and stuff set up, and the pool is full of water.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Henry cheered and tore through the house, a beach bag in tow with Will fast on his heels.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ rolled her eyes and put Michael down, the little boy following after his brother and Dad.  “I’m so glad that you guys decided to live in Fairfax.”  The blonde said, walking over and helping Emily with the drinks.  “We’re literally like a ten minute walk from each other.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad too.  It’s quiet, easy access to the freeway…”  Shrugging, Emily closed the cooler.  “It’s a good place to...you know.  Be married…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And start a family?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another shrug followed by silence.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blonde let the topic drop.  For now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon, the backyard was filled with people.  Stephen and Moncia with Monica and Eli, Tara, Penelope, Dave, Luke, Spencer.  The kids were in the pool with Will and Stephen while everyone else mingled.  Soon the gate opened, and Taala and Mackenzie appeared, the younger of the two toting a heavy lidded Noah.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry we’re late.”  Taala apologized, handing Emily a tray of desserts and a salad.  “We had to fight Noah to take a nap.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The little boy blinked sleepily before reaching for Emily, leaning so far that he almost slipped from his mother’s arms.  Emily handed the food off to Penelope and scooped up the little boy.  He sighed happily and cuddled into her chest.  She did a quick round of introductions before sitting down on the grass with the little boy in her arms.  Mackenzie disappeared to talk to Derek and Dave, while Taala grabbed a drink and sat down next to Emily.  Noah, for his part, seemed content to cling to Emily until he fully woke up.  He gave her a smile, before eyeing up the pool.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We brought his swim stuff, I can get Kenzie to change him.”  Taala said as she quietly took in the scene and the people around her.  Parties weren’t her scene, and parties that she didn’t know anyone at even less so.  Sighing, she ran her fingers through her hair nervously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie returned, passing her wife a bottle of beer before flopping on the grass dramatically.  “It’s hot.”  She stated.  “Imma go take the Chunk in and we’ll get dressed and hop in the pool.”  She pressed her lips against her wife's ear and whispered something that caused the older woman to laugh.  Mackenzie grinned and got up, kissing her wife’s head before scooping up their son.  “Let’s go, Chunk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They disappeared inside the house with a large bag.  Emily gave Taala a smile and motioned towards where the other women were standing.  “I’ll go introduce you.  You’ll like them.”  She said getting to her feet.  Taala followed silently, standing nervously to the side until Emily introduced her to everyone.  Tara picked up on her nerves and started an easy conversation with the Taala.  Both were well educated and had similar interests.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few minutes later, Mackenzie reappeared wearing a yellow racing back style bikini top and a pair of low slung board shorts with Noah, in a blue and green swim top, matching shorts and a hat.  She dropped the bag off at Taala’s feet, her hand brushing over her wife’s hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s sunscreened?”  Taala asked, adjusting the little boy’s hat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Unhappily, but yes, we both are.”  Mackenzie replied giving the other women a smile before pulling her sunglasses off her head.  “Let’s go into the water, little man.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even with a baby in her arms, she turned heads.  Tall, dark, fit, with tattoos that adorned her dark skin on portions that would be covered by a uniform.  Taala watched her wife before looking back with a blush.  “Sorry.”  She mumbled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tara shook her head.  “Don’t be, your wife is hot.”  She said raising her beer.  Penelope nodded.  “Totally.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rolling her eyes, Taala watched her wife and son in the water before turning back to the conversation.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t take long before people had migrated towards the pool, either full on swimming, or feet in the water.  Emily looked around, taking in the scene.  This was what she imagined her family to be like.  Growing up she didn’t have this, she didn’t have the laughter or the fun, but it’s what she so desperately craved and wanted.  Derek sat down beside her, their feet in the cool water and he wrapped his arm around her waist.  She leaned her head on his shoulder and just stayed silent, taking in the scene.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Penny for your thoughts?”  Derek whispered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shook her head.  “Just thinking about how amazing this is.”  She said honestly.  Keeping a close eye on the time, Emily nudged Derek to start the grill and got up.  The pool emptied out as everyone started to get out of the pool and change.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Scooping up the wet toddler, Taala went and changed him while Mackenzie twisted her hair up on the top of her head and changed into shorts and a USMC tshirt.  “We brought some food.  Taala made hummus and pitas, I made a quinoa salad and some veggie skewers.  Oh, and dessert.  Cuz you know, I bake.”  She said with a shrug.  Noah came running out wearing a change of clothes and ran past his mother and straight to Emily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Up.”  He ordered raising his arms and waited until Emily held him.  Leaning his head on her shoulder, Noah gave her a small smile.  “Nice mee you.  I Noah.”  He said proudly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice to meet you Noah, I’m Emily.”  She replied as he giggled, burying his face in her chest.  One handed, she started to set out plates.  Noah reached down and grabbed a piece of cheese and munched on it proudly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Raising an eyebrow, Emily brushed his damp curls off his head.  “Are you allowed to eat cheese?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yah, I do.”  He replied seriously before chewing it.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily glanced over at Mackenzie who nodded.  “Yeah, it’s fine.  He still breast feeds a bit, but he’s on mostly solid foods.”  She said with a shrug.  “Mostly soft foods right now, but cheese is fine.  He’s a hummus eating machine though.”  Setting out all of the food, she looked over at Derek.  “Yo, G-man, the grill ready to go?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughing, Derek flipped a few more burgers.  “Yo, they’re ready, Jarhead!”  He replied, his voice light with teasing.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie rolled her eyes and shot Derek a glare before looking over her shoulder.  “Food’s on.”  She called making a small plate for Noah with a pile of hummus, some cut up cucumbers and tomatoes, and some small pieces of cheese.  She also had a small bottle of water with a built in straw for him.  “Come on, buddy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The little boy shook his head and clung to Emily.  “Emmy.”  He announced, pressing his face against Emily’s, his little fingers tight.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily ran her hand over his soft curls.  “It’s fine, Mackenzie.  I’ll sit with him, I’ll get Derek to make me a plate.”  She sat at their patio set, adjusting Noah on her lap.  Taala and Mackenzie appeared quickly thereafter along with Derek.  The darker agent slid his chair next to his fiance’s and helped her with the small boy on her lap.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the team had separated into smaller groups, though far enough away from Derek and Emily that they could speak freely about their friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They should have kids.”  Penelope said softly, a wistful look on her face.  “Baby Morgan Prentisses would be the cutest thing ever.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spencer dipped his pita in the hummus and chewed it thoughtfully.  “Genetically their children would probably be quite attractive.  Both of them have good genes, though Derek’s recessive genes would be far stronger and they would no doubt end up looking more like him.  Especially complexion wise, though did you know that there was a case of a woman who gave birth to twins with her husband in England, and one child was white and the other was black.”  He stopped and looked at his friends and shrugged.  “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking a swallow of her beer, Tara shook her head.  “Does anyone even know if they want kids?”  She reasoned.  “I mean I was married and I don’t ever want kids.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ stayed silent, just watching her best friend with the little boy.  Dave took a bite of his burger and shrugged.  “Who knows, maybe they’re already trying?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Totally!  After that love bite Prentiss had on her neck this morning, they’re totally trying!”  Luke exclaimed with a laugh.  He raised his hand for a high five before glancing around and slowly dropping it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There are lots of other reasons for copulation, not just procreation.”  Spencer replied seriously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Closing her eyes and sighed, JJ walked away and went and sat with her family, though kept a close eye on her best friend.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Just like us</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Emily and Derek find out more about their neighbours.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay, so this chapter focuses a lot on the neighbours.  There's a reason for that.  As the story continues, they will become more important to the plot and for Derek and Emily.  Especially Emily.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>“We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness—and call it love—true love.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>― </span>
  <b>Robert Fulghum, </b>
  <b>True Love</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The night slowly started to wind down, the younger children starting to doze off, and the older helping with cleaning up.  Taala freed Emily from Noah’s clutches and gave her a smile.  “We’re gonna get going home, this little boy needs to take a bath and go to bed.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie gathered up their stuff and nodded.  “But, if anyone wants, we’re having brunch tomorrow at our place.  1030.”  She said to the group.  “Just let Emily or Derek know the numbers and they can text them to us.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t take me as someone who brunches.”  Spencer said with a small smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A smile crossed Mackenzie’s face and her bright hazel eyes lit up.  “Honey, we’re lesbians.”  She said laughing.  “We invited brunch.”  Slinging the bag over her shoulder, she jogged to catch up to her wife and disappeared around the corner to their house.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tara nodded and watched the younger woman disappear.  “Imma go for brunch tomorrow because I am FAR too drunk to drive home.”  She announced with flourish.  Everyone else started to gather their things and slowly started to disperse.  Derek and Emily cleaned up the yard and led Tara to their spare bedroom.  The taller woman grabbed her bag she left in the hallway and walked into the room, shutting the door.  After locking up, Derek went back to their room, finding Emily in the shower.  After a little while, she came out, hair wet and face fresh and pink,  He was already in bed and pulled back the covers.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you.”  He said as soon as she climbed into bed.  “Thank you for...for just being you and loving me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leaning over, Emily pressed her lips to Derek’s.  “Three quarters of the time you make it easy.”  She replied with a smirk, cuddling into his arms.  “The other quarter you’re a giant pain in my ass.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughter filled their room and he pressed a kiss on the top of her head, wrapping his arms around her tightly. </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Emily sipped her coffee on their back patio.  It was still early, the world was slowly waking up.  She wasn’t a morning person by any means, but the curtains they had at Derek’s old place didn’t fit their new windows and she had been rudely awoken by the bright sun shining into the bedroom.  Derek still slept soundly, so she padded out of the bedroom and headed down to the kitchen and put on a cup of coffee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If this is what domestic life was, then maybe Emily Prentiss was cut out for domestic life.  His presence washed over her and she looked up with a smile.  He was wearing shorts and a tshirt with his headphones around his neck.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to go for a run.”  He told her, pressing a kiss on her lips.  “Tara is still sleeping.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Emily leaned back in the sun.  “Have fun.”  She didn’t run.  She was in shape, but she hated running.  She would go to the gym at work, and she enjoyed taking boxing classes, but running?  Not her thing.  Sliding her sunglasses down over her eyes, she took in the warmth until she heard more footsteps behind her.  Tara sat down on the patio furniture and stretched out her long legs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where’s Derek?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily didn’t open her eyes.  “Running.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you ever just stare at him, or make him do yard work topless?”  Tara mused looking at her friend and waiting for her to meet her gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly Emily flipped up her sunglasses and stared at Tara incredulously.  “No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well you should.”  Tara grinned and leaned back on the chair.  “Get him and Mackenzie to do yard work.  I’d come and watch both of them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, he is hot.”  Emily agreed, though didn’t elaborate.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two women sat in the sun until Derek came home, showered and changed.  He shook his head, seeing the two women lying back in the sun with their eyes closed.  “Are you two sun goddesses ready to head over?”  He asked, leaning down and giving Emily a gentle upside down kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tara lowered her sunglasses and rolled her eyes.  “You two make my teeth hurt.”  She announced, unfolding herself from the chair.  “But yeah, I’m ready to head over.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Smirking, Emily returned Derek’s kiss before getting up.  She sent Taala and Mcakenzie a quick text before heading up to change.  They headed over in a group, ringing the doorbell as they waited.  Taala appeared, her long dark hair loose in waves around her shoulders, wearing a loose long tank top and loose capris.  “Hey guys, come in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek licked his lips as he inhaled.  “Whatever you guys are making, it smells amazing.”  He announced, toeing off his shoes.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mackenzie.  I don’t do the cooking around here for the most part.  I mean I can, but she loves to do it so I let her.”  Taala said with a shrug.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The walls were adorned with pictures of Mackenzie, Taala and Noah.  The first one was of Mackenzie playing basketball, her hair tied up in two braids down her back wearing a UConn jersey.  The next was one of Taala and Mackenzie, one in scrubs, the other in a tan uniform.  In the next picture, both were wearing white dresses, one strapless, the other with long sleeves.  Then a picture of Taala, Mackenzie, and Noah in the hospital, and finally one of them that was taken more recently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t know Mackenzie played college ball.”  Derek said shaking his head in amazement.  “That’s awesome.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taala shrugged.  “Yeah, she played for three years before doing ROTC through law her last two years of law school.  You will have to ask her more about it, it was well before we ever met.  All I know is that in March she takes over the television.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They walked down the hallway into the large and open kitchen.  Mackenzie had headphones on as she chopped fruit, singing softly to herself.  Taala motioned to the coffee on the table before walking behind her wife, pressing her lips on the side of her neck.  “Company’s here.”  She whispered  Turning, Mackenzie pulled off her headphones and flashed them a wide smile.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, grab a seat.  I’ll just toss the rest of the brunch in the oven.”  She said opening the oven and pulling out two sizzling pans.  She poured batter into the pans before putting them back in the oven.  Leaning against the counter, she motioned to the fruit already cut up on the table.  “Help yourself.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Three of them sat down, Taala pouring coffees and setting them on the table.  “I’m making dutch baby pancakes with macerated strawberries and a cherry compote, and then there’s a potato hashbrown casserole in the crockpot.”  Mackenzie said with a small nonchalant shrug.  “I wasn’t sure about people’s tastes...so I made sweet and savoury.”  She explained, her fingers twisting the edge of the shirt she was wearing nervously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well it smells amazing.”  Emily said with a supportive smile before noticing the silence.  “Are you missing someone?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A smile lit up Mackenzie’s face and she shook her head.  “Nah, he’s in his toy room.”  She watched the older woman’s eyes and motioned towards a small room off the kitchen.  “He’s the main reason we have the potato dish.”  Her hand brushed over the small of her wife’s back before grabbing a cup of coffee and pulling herself onto the counter, pulling Taala against her.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The silence was heavy, but not uncomfortable as everyone sipped their coffees.  Noah padded out and walked over to Emily, pulling his chubby little body onto her lap.  Derek shook his head, reaching out and running his hand over the toddler’s curls.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sipping her coffee, Tara looked at Mackenzie and Taala.  “So, tell us how you guys met.  Sorry, but the accent gives it away that Taala wasn’t born here in the US.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie smiled and softly carded her fingers in her wife’s hair.  “Well, I graduated law school at 21.  I would have graduated high school at 17 because of my birthday, but I skipped grade 1.  Anyway, I did 3 years of college ball to do my undergrad, and then 3 years of law school along with ROTC.  I did a tour of duty in Japan at Okinawa for a year and then got sent to Beirut.”  Taala looked up at her, her cheeks flushing a soft pink.  Continuing, Mackenzie smiled.  “We were working with doctors without borders and there was this beautiful doctor wearing a green hijab there.  She was smart, and funny, and drop dead gorgeous.  ANYWAY, I turned on all my charm and she kept turning me down.  She was engaged and apparently straight.”  She grinned down at her wife and nudged her softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Being gay isn’t a thing in the Middle East.”  Taala explained softly.  “I was 33 and had already put off getting married for years.  And this beautiful Marine lieutenant walked into my life and turned everything upside down.  I ran away because it scared me how I felt for her.  And she kept coming back.  Eventually, six months later, I called off my wedding and agreed to meet her for a drink.  We hit it off right away and...well everything had to be hidden because of where we were, but when she got transferred back to the US, I looked for a job here as well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The timer went off on the oven and Mackenzie slipped off the counter, grabbing the now risen dishes and placed them on the table along with the fruit topping.  She pulled the other casserole out of the crock pot and placed it beside the other dish.  “And then the rest is history.”  Mackenzie finished.  “I showed her that being queer was okay and you could have a full happy life.”  She said snagging her son from Emily’s arms.  “And that sometimes the people who are the most important to you, aren’t the ones with your blood.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sat down beside Emily and motioned to the food.  “Please, dig in.”  She put a small amount of the potato dish on her plate to cool.  “It has cheese, eggs, onions, potatoes, turkey sausage and other spices in it.”  She explained blowing on the food before putting a tiny fork in Noah’s hand.  The little boy stabbed at it and brought a piece up to his mouth, chewing slowly.  Everyone filled their plates and started eating.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shi-uh...shoot Mackenzie, this is great.”  Derek said, taking another bite.  “Didn’t know that the Marines had a cooking class.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They don’t.”  Mackenzie said, shaking her head as she ate with one hand, around her son.  “Foster care does.  You learn quickly to be able to fend for yourself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looks were exchanged, though Mackenzie missed all of them as she juggled eating and feeding her son.  “Have you two thought about babies?”  She asked, finally looking up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek nodded.  “We have, but not until after the wedding.”  He said quickly, his hand finding Emily’s under the table and giving it a soft squeeze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I get that, we were married for...four years before we started looking at ways to have a baby.”  Mackenzie commented.  Grabbing wipes, she cleaned Noah’s hands and face before setting him free.  “And you guys are lucky, because first you both have the right parts to make a baby.”  She said with a smirk.  “And two, it looks like you guys have a great support.”  Getting to her feet, she started to clear the dishes.  “I didn’t have a family and Taala’s disowned her, so we basically did it all on our own.”  She explained, placing the dishes in the dishwasher.  Once everything was cleaned, she looked back at the group.  “Why waste a beautiful day, do we want to move outside?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The tone had changed, four out of the five could feel it, the youngest of the group oblivious to her words.  They followed her outside, settling on the padded outdoor furniture watching as Noah toddled along.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your parents </span>
  <em>
    <span>disowned </span>
  </em>
  <span>you?”  Tara finally spit out.  The question had been weighing heavily on her and she stared at Taala who just shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like Mackenzie said, being gay is not a thing in the Middle East.  My parents are rich and well respected.  They were able to move out of Palestine and settled in Qatar.  I’m their only daughter, they had it arranged for me to get married to one of my father’s business partners.  What I did...who I am...it brings shame to the family.”  Taala ended, looking down at her hands.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie reached over and slowly interlaced their fingers, tugging on her wife’s hand softly.  When Taala looked up, she flashed her a small smile. “Sometimes it sucks, but we’ve made our own family.”  She said, her thumb brushing over the back of her wife’s hand.  After a few silent moments, she got and walked over to her son who was sitting in the flower bed systematically pulling out flowers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We all have trauma.”  Tara said softly, her eyes following Mackenzie.  “But all that matters is how we overcome those traumas.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A smirk crossed Taala’s face and she shook her head.  “Spoken like a true profiler.”  She said brushing her hair off her face.  “We are better off now.  There are many women that I know from back home who married and are unhappy.  I have a beautiful wife and son.  We overcame a lot of crap to be where we are, and we can do it, anyone can.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie and Noah returned, the little dirt covered boy crawled into Emily’s lap and pressed his face against her chest, sighing deeply.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek watched Emily with the little boy, his heart tightening.  “Well, you two seem to be doing pretty amazing now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Most days.”  Mackenzie replied with a smile, her light eyes dancing. “Yeah, things are going pretty well.  It’s tough sometimes, we work a lot and sometimes our shifts are totally opposites.  Sometimes I have to do court martial on a carrier or have to go on an investigation for a week at a time.  Taala sometimes works 24 hour shifts.  But we make it work.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily buried her face in Noah’s curls before looking up.  “So what do you do if you’re both working?”  Noah’s little body cuddled into her and his baby sweet scent washed over her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sometimes he’ll go to the hospital daycare, there’s a daycare program at the YMCA that’s between here and Falls Church.”  Mackenzie said with a shrug.  “And a few blocks away, there’s a beautiful neighbour that will watch Noah when we need her to.  It’s about community right?  The old adage about it taking a village to raise a child?  It’s especially true when you don’t have family.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite being the youngest by at least a decade, Mackenzie was well spoken and insightful.  After a few hours the conversation died off, and Noah slept heavily in Emily’s arms.  Taala walked over and reached down to gather her sleeping son.  “You would be a great mother, Emily.”  She whispered softly.  Standing up, she ran her fingers through her son’s curls.  “You guys are welcome here any time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek’s dark eyes settled on Emily, reading the microexpressions on her face.  He turned back to Mackenzie and Taala and gave them a small smile.  “Thanks, we’ll have to take you up on that offer.  Maybe you guys could help me learn how to cook.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie grinned and twisted her hair up on the top of her head.  “Sure.  Just let me know what you guys like to eat and I can figure it out.”  She said as they walked through the house to get their shoes.  “Thanks for coming, and like I said, look at your schedule and we can figure out a time to cook.”  She said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taala gave Emily a gentle smile, their eyes meeting.  She nodded silently and Emily returned it before leaving.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. First things first</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Before the wedding comes the stag and stagette!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay, so this will be broken into numerous chapters because there's just too much going on.  But it's nothing but ridiculous fun with our group.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>“Once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>― </span>
  <b>Nicole Krauss, </b>
  <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/1882970">
    <b>The History of Love</b>
  </a>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They had almost everything ready for their wedding.  Almost.  They weren’t going to get married in a church, neither of them religious and Rossi had offered up his yard like he did with JJ and Will.  The caterer was booked, the DJ was booked, Emily’s dress fitting happened, the flowers were ordered, the photographer selected.  There were just a few minor details to work out.  They had their stag and stagettes booked - Derek’s heading into Washington for a football game and some “extracurricular activities” afterward while Emily and the ladies were heading to Atlantic City a few days after the men got back.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily got up from her desk and walked into Rossi’s office, standing in the doorway.  The older man looked up and gave her a smile.  “What can I do for you, Emily?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shutting the door behind her, Emily sat down across from Rossi and took a deep breath.  “I have a question for you.  Uh, a request actually.”  She was nervous, and Emily Prentiss never got nervous.  His eyes narrowed as he waited for her to speak.  “Dave, would you walk me down the aisle?”  She asked finally.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Emily Prentiss he knew was a strong, accomplished, smart, powerful woman.  He had only seen that look on her face once before, when they were on the case about her friend.  The insecurity. The vulnerability.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, Emily.  It’s an honour that you’ve even asked me.”  Getting to his feet, he walked over to Emily Prentiss, the BAU unit chief, the badass who has faced some of the worst serial killers in the face, and wrapped his arms around her for a tight hug.  “Sempre amo mio.”  He whispered, feeling her warm tears on his shoulder.  “Sempre.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sure, she had a father, but he had been out of the picture for years, and this day was going to be about her, not Ambassador Prentiss so she didn’t want to ask her mother.  And besides, Dave Rossi had become a father figure to a lot of them.  Pulling away, she dabbed at her eyes.  “Don’t you dare tell anyone I cried.”  Emily threatened without malice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The older man laughed softly and shook his head.  “Wouldn’t dream of it.”  He said gently.  “Are you excited for your wedding?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily fixed her hair before nodding.  “It’ll be nice to have some permanency.”  She admitted.  “And Derek is...Derek.  He’s sweet, but stubborn and pig headed at times.  And just a little bit patronizing with him always making sure I’m alright.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But he treats you well?”  Rossi asked.  It was obvious they were head over heels in love, but he also wanted to extend his love and care to Emily, and only Emily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A smile crossed her face.  “Of course he does, Rossi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If he ever doesn’t you tell me.”  He said seriously.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will.”  Emily shook her head slightly.  “But he loves me, but the offer is well appreciated.”  She looked down at her watch.  “Alright, back to work.”  She stated, straightening her shirt and shoulders before walking out of his office and into hers. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <span>Mackenzie sat on the counter as she directed Derek on the next step of what to make.  His team was off for the next couple of days, and Mackenzie’s cases had been quick and easy, according to her.  She got home early and headed next door to help Derek with his cooking.  It was true, he couldn’t cook.  Hopping off the counter, she showed him how to brown the meat before dropping it in the pressure cooker she had convinced Derek to buy.  She walked him through chopping the onions and garlic before dropping them in alongside the meat.  Adding cans of tomatoes, spices and herbs and ¼ of a bottle of red wine, she closed the lid and adjusted the time.  “Now don’t touch it until it goes off.  And then you leave it for 40 minutes before you open it.”  They worked through how to make the polenta and Mackenzie left step by step instructions with times on it for Derek.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, as long as you follow the instructions, you should be good.  Or like facetime me if you need help.”  She said checking her watch.  She was still in uniform, wearing olive green slacks and a khaki shirt.  She had ribbons on her chest, her hair twisted up in a braid pinned to her head.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s still weird seeing you in uniform.”  Derek said, shaking his head.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shrugging, Mackenzie gave him a wide smile.  “It probably is, but I’ve been wearing the uniform for almost 10 years now.”  She said getting her issued black shoes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it something you want to do for the rest of your life?”  He asked as he walked out with her, and holding open her coat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love what I do.”  She said sliding her arms into the jacket.  “And we’ll see, if I keep moving up the ranks maybe I’ll be the first female JAG.”  Mackenzie grinned.  “It’s basically the highest you can get in the JAG corps.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek held the door open for her and pressed a kiss on the top of her head.  “I’m sure you’ll be able to do whatever you set your mind to, kid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her face lit up and she squeezed his hand.  “Now make sure you follow the directions becauseI’m not coming to rescue you if you light your kitchen on fire.”  Mackenzie teased as she stepped out onto the porch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily’s vehicle pulled into the driveway and Mackenzie gave her a small wave as she headed over to her own home.  Stepping out of her SUV, Emily watched the younger woman leave before looking back at Derek.  “So what’s Mackenzie making us for supper?”  She teased, walking into their house and inhaling deeply.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey now.”  Derek replied, leaning down and giving her a soft kiss.  “I am the one cooking, Mackenzie just left me instructions on what to do.  And for your information, we’re having beef and mushroom ragu served over creamy polenta with a fresh salad on the side.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughing softly, Emily looped her arms around his neck and deepened their kiss.  “Yes, that sounds like something Derek Morgan would totally make, but it sounds - and smells - amazing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pressure cooker went off and Derek walked over, reading the directions and let it sit while pouring Emily a glass of red wine.  “So, are you nervous for our wedding?”  He asked, arching his eyebrows at her.  “This time, next week, we’ll be husband and wife.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shook her head.  “Nah, not worried or nervous.”  She said sipping her wine.  “Ready for your stag?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had planned their stag and stagette parties planned for the same weekend, Derek heading into Washington to watch a Redskins game and Emily heading to Atlantic city for a “Sin to Win weekend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Football game, beers, going out for an expensive dinner after on Rossi’s dime, what’s there not to be excited about?”  Derek got up and put some water on the stove and turned it on, reading through the directions Mackenzie left.  “What about you?  Remember, I don’t have enough money to bail your asses out of jail.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughter filled the kitchen and Emily pulled herself up on the counter.  “Don’t worry, I have enough money to bail myself out.  The others may be a different matter…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek added the polenta to the now boiling water and stirred it quickly, adding some salt, pepper, and butter but tossing in the grated parmesan cheese and stirred it quickly.  Once it finally came together, he took it off the heat and then opened the pressure cooker.  Using forks, he shredded the meat before plating the polenta and the ragu on top.  “Dinner, my lady, is served.”  Placing everything on the table, he gave her a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, it certainly smells amazing.”  Emily said, taking a small bite.  “My compliments to the chef.”  She said with a smirk.  “It’s really good, you can add it to the recipe book I know you and Mackenzie have been putting together.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sitting down across from her, Derek grinned.  “Well, I don’t want my </span>
  <em>
    <span>wife</span>
  </em>
  <span> to starve.”  He said, taking a bite.  It had been about six weeks since Derek had taken Mackenzie up on her cooking lessons and he had started gaining confidence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> If they were both home and Taala was home, Emily would head over and learned some of her own cooking tips.  She hadn’t had a chance to try them all out yet, but she knew that they would soon have the rest of their lives together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do we have anything else to go over before the wedding?  You okay with staying over at Taala and Mackenzie’s for the night before our wedding?  Your mom said she was gonna get a hotel room and my Ma and sisters will stay here.”  He said as he took a bite of his food.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay with it isn’t exactly the term I’d use, but I’ll do it.”  Emily grumbled.  Penelope and Tara said that it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>tradition</span>
  </em>
  <span> that the bride and groom didn’t see each other the night before the wedding, and even JJ got in on the argument.  She didn’t know about her own wedding and stated that their wedding was even more unconventional than Emily and Derek’s.  “It’s a lame tradition, but I figure I’ll give it to Pen and Tara.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek grinned and nudged her under the table with his foot.  “You’ll be fine, Princess.  After our wedding we’ll be off to Fiji for a full ten days of fun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded and finished eating her plate before putting the rest away for their next days’ lunches.  “I’ll just miss you.”  She said softly, as Derek finished cleaning up the rest of the plates and dishes.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll miss you, Princess.  But it’s only for one night and then we’ll have the rest of our lives together.  And besides, we’re going to be apart when you’re in Atlantic City.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The domesticity of everything hit him as he grabbed his beer and she grabbed her glass of wine and they settled on the couch.  He draped his arm around her waist as she leaned against, cuddling against his side.  “Princess, you have made me the happiest man in the world.”  He whispered, burying his face in her hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her face tilted up, the brightest smile appearing on her face.  “You make me pretty damn happy too, Derek.”  She said, reaching up and pulling him down for a soft gentle kiss.  Their lips met gently, their tongues dancing softly.  There was no rush, no wanton desire behind their kisses.  No, these kisses were words that their hearts felt but their mouths couldn’t say.  Their bodies, their lips, their tongues, their hands spoke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a few minutes they parted, Emily’s lips kiss-swollen and pink.  He looked down at her, a loving gaze in his eyes.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you, Princess.”  He whispered, his lips brushing against her ear.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her head rested against his chest, her blunt fingernails brushing softly up and down.  “By the way, Taala said that she will murder you the week before our wedding if you guys get Mackenzie into trouble.”  She whispered softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His chest shook as he laughed, his fingers in her hair.  “I think Mackenzie can get herself into enough trouble, she doesn’t need our help.”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Emily had her overnight bag packed and waiting at the door.  Taala was already over with Mackenzie, who had already dropped Noah off with one of Mackenzie’s coworkers who would be watching him for the night.  Emily’s group was spending the night in Atlantic City, while Derek’s would be returning very late.  Soon the house was full of people and a huge limo pulled up.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s yours, ladies.”  Derek called out, knowing that he had booked a hummer style limo.  Grabbing Emily’s bag, he started to herd the women outside.  Tara, JJ, and Penelope piled into the limo first, the men carrying the bags out with them.  Mackenzie wrapped her arms around Taala and gave her a soft kiss.  “I’ll text you.”  She whispered softly.  Their kiss was sweet and Taala pulled away with a blush.  Her wife handed her the overnight bag and she too entered the limo.  Derek pulled Emily into his arms and gave her a deep kiss.  “I love you.”  He whispered against her lips.  “Be safe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily wrapped her arms around him and returned the kiss.  “I love you too.  Don’t do anything stupid.”  Grabbing her bag, she followed Taala into the limo and shut the door.  It pulled away and Derek turned back to everyone else.  “Our limo should be here soon too.”  He said heading back inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luke tossed Spencer a Redskins jersey and looked over at Mackenzie who was wearing black leggings and a tank top.  “I have a shirt you could borrow.”  He offered.  Mackenzie shook her head and pulled out a maroon shirt that had on the front “Washington, your team name is racist” in large yellow letters.  SIghing, Derek ran his hands over his head before pulling on a Bears jersey.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t look at me like that, Alvez.”  Mackenzie stated as she went and grabbed her shoulder bag.  “I refuse to wear a jersey that perpetuates racist stereotypes.  But I do like football and like pissing off racists even more.”  Her grin spread from ear to ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rossi shook his head and pulled on his own Bears jersey.  “You, piccolo, are a handful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Non sono sicuro se dovrei essere insultato o meno.”  Mackenzie grinned and opened the door.  “The ride’s here.”  She called, tugging on her sneakers.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why’d you even invite her?”  Luke mumbled to Derek.  “Thought a stag was a men only trip?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The older man gave him a sharp glare.  “It’s for my friends, and Mackenzie is a friend.”  Derek said locking up the house and setting the alarm.  “She’s a good friend and I want her here.”  Heading out to the limo, he caught up to the rest of the group and opened the door.  Rossi, then Spencer, and finally Mackenzie slid in.  He shut the door and looked at Luke.  “If you don’t want to be here, that’s fine, you can leave.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grumbling, Luke opened the limo door and slipped in, Derek followed and shut the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rossi had already broken out the scotch in the minibar, passing one to Derek.  Spencer opted for a cooler, Luke a beer, and Mackenzie a sparkling water.  Spencer had all of the stats of the game laid out and was starting a discussion with Mackenzie as to who he thought was going to win based on his statistical analysis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, you ready to be an officially taken man?”  Rossi asked, watching the three younger adults argue about the stats.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So damn ready.”  Derek replied, sipping the scotch.  “Honestly, I never thought that I would want to be married - that I would be a lone wolf forever, that I would be a bachelor forever.  But….”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rossi tipped his glass silently.  “Emily happened.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, she happened.”  Derek agreed.  “Y’know, it just started with us having sex.  Like after a really hard case we’d get together, get really drunk, and have sex.  Then Doyle.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, the older man stayed silent, allowing Derek to continue.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then I didn’t ever want to lose her.”  Derek said quietly.  “And then she said she was going to fucking London and I had to tell her that I was in love with her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The limo had gone quiet, the three younger adults falling silent.  Finally Reid spoke up.  “No, it was a lot longer than that, Derek.”  He said quietly.  “Before Emily died.  Remember when I talked to you on the jet about you two?  I wasn’t kidding.  I know that it took a lot longer to actually get together, but did you ever wonder why things didn’t work out with anyone else?  Not just for you, but for Emily too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie frowned and looked over everyone’s face before holding up her hand.  “Wait, okay, back up.  Emily </span>
  <em>
    <span>died?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spencer nodded  “Yeah for about 7 months.”  He said with no other explanation.  “You guys knew even when you weren’t dating or together, or whatever, that you were connected somehow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The limo headed into the city and to Fed Ex field and up to the box seats.  Soon the drinks and food flowed freely, only Mackenzie not indulging in the alcohol.  Taking her tonic water, she sat beside Derek and gave him a wide grin.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You and Emily are great together.”  She said keeping her eyes trained on the game below them.  “I’m not sure what’s happened in the past, but you guys have the present and the future ahead of you.”  Tearing her eyes away from the game, she looked over at him and nudged him softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The beer bottle came to his lips and he took a long swallow before looking over at her.  “You’re right.  We have now and soon I’ll have her for the rest of my life.”  Derek’s face broke into a small smile and he visibly relaxed.  Picking up his phone, Derek sent a text to Emily, his fingers lingering over the screen.  Knowing that Emily was busy at her own celebration, he focused back on the game and his friends.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Second things second</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Emily's sin to win stagette.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“The heart has its reasons which reason knows not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>― </span>
  <b>Blaise Pascal</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe you guys brought me to a strip club.”  Derek mumbled, his cheeks reddening slightly.  “Emily is gonna kill me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie shrugged and held the door open.  “Doubtful because I overheard Tara and Penelope talk about going to a strip club in Atlantic City.  Now get in there, I have some ones that need to get used up.”  She said, her eyes flashing happily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rossi sighed heavily and followed everyone else in.  Mackenzie dropped into a chair easily and pulled out a wad of one dollar bills.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve done this before.”  Spencer commented, his eyes flicking between Mackenzie and the girl dancing on stage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not recently.”  She commented.  “Not since I’ve been married - and before anyone says anything about this being anti-feminist - I don’t see how women supporting women is a bad thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luke held his hands up and shook his head.  “I didn’t even say anything, querida.”  He said, lowering himself in the chair.  He felt the chair fly out from underneath him and he hit the floor with a loud heavy thud.  “What the hell?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t sweetheart me, Alvez.”  Mackenzie said, shaking her head.  She turned back to Derek and gave him a grin that he didn’t trust.  She stopped a waitress and spoke to her quickly.  A round of drinks arrived at the table and Mackenzie wandered off to go speak to the floor manager.  A few moments later, an announcement blared over the loud speaker and Derek sighed.  “You got me a lap dance?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie nodded.  “Technically pendejo and I got it for you.”  She said nodding at Luke.  A woman sauntered over and Derek winced as she started to circle his chair.  Five years ago he would have loved this, but now he just thought of Emily.  Swallowing hard, he closed his eyes, feeling the woman brush up against him before dropping herself in his lap.  He had been in this position before, </span>
  <em>
    <span>hell</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he had been in this exact same position with Emily before, but now this was so different.  He felt her hands encircle his wrists and place his hands on her hips.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, enjoy it.”  She whispered against his skin, her weight heavy on his lap as her hips rolled and pressed against him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m engaged.”  Derek replied, his eyes focusing on her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s a lucky lady.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I am.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The dance ended soon after and Derek gave her some of the money that Mackenzie had on the edge of the table.  “Y’know, there was a time when I actually enjoyed those.”  He said ordering another round of the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure Emily wouldn’t get upset.”  Rossi reasoned.  “She’s a pretty reasonable woman.”  He watched as Luke and Mackenzie conversed in low tones and Luke got up and spoke to the floor manager and returned with a triumphant grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t tell me you got me another lap dance.”  Derek said softly, bringing his beer up to his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dimples appeared on Mackenzie’s cheeks and she shrugged.  “Well, it is.  But not for you.”  She said leaning back and grinning as a blonde woman approached Spencer.  The young agent turned scarlet and looked over at Rossi and Derek for help.  Mackenzie leaned back in her chair, balancing it on two legs.  “Alvez mentioned that Spencer had never had a lap dance.  We fixed that problem.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The night started to wind down, Mackenzie spending her wad of ones that she had brought in.  Spencer was wobbly on his feet, leaning heavily against Luke.  They still had a 45 minute ride back where Rossi broke out cigars.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Rossi, you’re gonna be one of my groomsmen, right?”  Derek asked around the cigar in his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I do double duty?”  The older man asked, blowing out smoke.  “Your fidanzata has already asked me to do something important in your wedding.  So...I might have to make a late entrance.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek shrugged.  “Um...guess that works.”  He mumbled, blowing out the smoke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good, because I’m not backing out on Emily.”  Dave replied.  His eyebrows arched as he watched Spencer attempt to light the cigar.  “Which also, if you hurt Emily, I will kill you.”  The older man said seriously.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Choking briefly on his cigar, Derek shook his head.  “You don't need to worry, Rossi.”  He said seriously.  “Because there is no way in the world that I would hurt Emily Prentiss.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With the help of Luke and Mackenzie, Spencer finally got his cigar lit and he turned to Derek.  “Speaking of Prentiss, is she keeping her last name or is she taking yours because I see Emily as a far more modern woman that wouldn’t need, or necessarily want to take the last name of the man that she is marrying.  The tradition actually started when legalities came into marriage in the 9th century…”  He started coughing with the smoke in the limo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek quickly cut Spencer off before the younger man had a chance to ramble.  “Professionally, Emily is keeping her name.”  He said taking an inhale of his cigar.  “But personally, she’ll be Emily Morgan.  I want us to be...a couple.  It might be old fashioned, but…”  He trailed off and shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie inhaled deeply before exhaling the cigar smoke.  “I get it.  It’s why Taala and I decided to hyphenate our last names.  Shows solidarity.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Solidarity?  You’re not storming the beaches.”  Luke commented rolling his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pendejo....”  Mackenzie warned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rubbing his temples Rossi sighed deeply.  “Kids, if you keep fighting I’m going to make Reid sit between you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spencer choked so hard Mackenzie had to hit him on the back repeatedly before he could speak.  “No, Reid won’t!” </span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>It was a three hour trip to Atlantic City and the champagne was opened the minute the doors closed.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was going to buy us all matching shirts.”  Penelope said as she poured glasses of champagne.  “But they only had ones with </span>
  <em>
    <span>Bride Tribe</span>
  </em>
  <span> written on it, and I found them vaguely racist.”  She explained passing the bottle around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not even vaguely racist.”  Taala responded, taking a glass.  They had three hours to get to Atlantic City that they were planning on filling with champagne and gossip.  She turned to Emily and gave her a smile.  “So tell me, how excited are you to be marrying Derek?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Penelope laughed.  “Oh honey, you haven’t seen these two pine after each other for five years.”  She said, shaking her head.  “Like they would have eye sex across the bullpen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>WIth her face reddening, Emily shook her head.  “WE did </span>
  <b>
    <em>not</em>
  </b>
  <span> have eyesex in the bullpen!”  She exclaimed.  “Name ONE time!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ and Penelope exchanged glances.  “Before or after you started sleeping together?”  The blonde retorted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can name like eight times off the top of my head, and this is just since I’ve been here.”  Tara added.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All of you should shut up.”  Emily muttered, rolling her eyes.  “But to answer your original question, I’m so excited.”  She said with a fluttering smile.  “I didn’t think that happy endings were for me, I had resigned myself to the fact that I would probably never get married and I was trying to be happy to be alone.  And then Derek Morgan bodychecked his way into my life.”  The agents in the limo laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ pulled out her phone and started to flip through it.  “Okay, see this picture?  This is like...way back when you first joined the team.  Like you had been with us for a few months - look Gideon is still there.  And look at the look that Derek is giving you.”  She passed her phone around and the picture had the team in it.  She was sitting on the desk, talking to Reid and Derek was standing across from them behind the younger profiler.  His attention was focused on Emily, a soft look in his dark eyes.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay fine.”  Emily muttered. “Derek was pining for a long time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek?!”  Penelope pulled out her phone and found a picture of just Derek and Emily.  His arm was wrapped loosely over her shoulder while Emily leaned into him, her head against his shoulder.  “This went both ways, buttercup.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They spent the next half hour flipping through photos that Tara, Penelope, JJ, and even Emily had on their phones.  They were all the same.  The same longing looks, the gentle touches, the sweet smiles.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay okay okay, fine.  There was mutual pining.  If you guys all saw this….from like the second I joined the team….why didn’t you </span>
  <em>
    <span>tell</span>
  </em>
  <span> me about this?”  Emily finally asked.  “Like Derek and I could’ve been married for years now!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughter filled the limo.  “We thought you both knew!”  JJ giggled.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Slow learners.”  Tara coughed with a laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The three hours flew by and soon they checked into their two bedroom suite at the Ocean Casino Resort.  Dropping off their bags, they headed down for supper before they started, what Emily called, their sin to win weekend.  The group split off once they reached the casino floor, Penelope and JJ headed to the mini-baccarat tables, while Tara and Emily to the poker tables.  Taala didn’t gamble, so she sat at the poker table, happy to drink and people watch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyebrows arched when she spotted the pile of chips the two women had.  “You guys are in it to win it.”  She commented, sipping her drink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Only way to be.”  Tara methodically ran her fingers through her chips.  There were few women sitting at the table, Tara and Emily using that to their advantage for the first few hands.  Soon Emily’s chips started piling up, her dark eyes narrowed and focused.  Taala headed off to find JJ and Penelope, leaving the two older women to play.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The analyst had already run out of the money she was using, meeting Taala at the bar.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think Emily is gonna win their honeymoon.”  Taala said, shaking her head.  “Or like enough to take us all on their honeymoon with her.”  JJ appeared at her side and ordered a drink before turning.  “Well, Em does this yearly.  She’s the only person who has ever beaten Spence at poker.  Anyway, if I lose any more money, Will might divorce me.”  She said with a good natured shrug.  “Anyone want to head upstairs and charge a ton of stuff to room service and watch trashy tv?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Two heads nodded and followed JJ to the elevator.  “I’ll send Tara and Em a text to let them know where we are.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All of the junk food on the menu was ordered, and amazingly terrible movies were ordered on pay per view.  The three women laid on one of the King sized beds, massages booked for the next morning in the pjs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d text them, but if they lose I’m not taking the blame.”  Penelope reasoned as she stuck her spoon in the giant ice cream sundae and took a huge bite.  JJ nodded and picked at the bag of cheetos.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fair.”  Taala said, sending Mackenzie a quick text before grabbing another spoonful of ice cream.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Her phone buzzed obnoxiously and Emily cracked open an eye and stared at it.  930 am.  Sighing, she flopped onto her back, a grunt coming from beside her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck, Emily.”  Tara groaned rolling further over on the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pen is texting asking if we got mugged.”  Emily said, her voice full of sleep.  She sent a quick text before burying back into the pillows.  A few minutes later the door opened and Penelope walked in, flopping on the end of the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You guys didn’t get kicked out of the casino?”  The blonde asked, wiggling herself between the two other women.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m hungry.  We ordered room service last night, but I want breakfast.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>More silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Taala and JJ kicked me out of bed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally Tara opened an eye.  “I don’t blame them.”  She mumbled sleepily.  “What time does the limo come and pick us up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Noon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Tara rolled over and buried her face back in the pillows.  “Come back at 1130.”  She muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With an exasperated sigh Penelope rolled off the bed.  “Fine, but you two are buying us all brunch.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Silence filled the limo as they approached Virginia.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How much money did you win anyway, Em?”  JJ asked, opening her eyes and yawning.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The older woman gave her best friend a grin.  “Enough that Derek and I won’t have to worry about our honeymoon, or the wedding.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Glad that you had your card on file for the room, then.”  Penelope said with a grin.  “Because we charged a lot of room service.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily laughed and closed her eyes.  “I think I’ll be able to handle it.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Traditions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The first step of the first day of the rest of their lives.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>"…true love is never blind, but rather brings an added light." -Phoebe Cary</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I still think that this is a stupid tradition.”  Emily grumbled as she packed up her bag along with her wedding dress, shoes, and all of her makeup.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His deep laugh filled the room and he wrapped his arms around her.  “Trust me, we know Princess.”  Derek teased, reaching up and brushing a lock of hair off her face.  “But it’s just for one night.  Tomorrow night we will be a married couple and we will be able to spend every night together as husband and wife.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dark eyes rolled and Emily nodded.  “Fine.  I mean, I know that we don’t spend every night together but this is </span>
  <em>
    <span>different</span>
  </em>
  <span> somehow.”  She mumbled, her forehead resting against Derek’s chest.  His lips dropped a few gentle kisses on the top of her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, but just think.  In less than 12 hours, we’ll be man and wife.”  He whispered softly, holding her against his chest.  They stayed like that for a few long moments, lost in their own thoughts, bodies intertwined, hearts beating independently, souls together as one.  Reluctantly they pulled apart and Derek grabbed Emily’s dress bag while she grabbed her duffle bag and they walked over to the Rasheed-Wallace’s.  The door swung open, Mackenzie in full uniform, keys in hand.  She gave them an apologetic smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, sorry, I’ll be back in a few hours.  I have a client that’s attempting to skip town.”  She said shouldering her bag, her hair pulled back in a severe bun.  “Taala is in the house, she just got back from the hospital so just walk in.”  Jogging to her vehicle, she climbed in and roared off leaving Derek and Emily standing in stunned silence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Little footsteps broke the silence and Noah toddled over, his arms up in the air.  “Emmy, up.”  He ordered.  Cuddling against her, he gave Derek a shy smile.  “Hi Dek.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled at the boy and dropped off Emily’s bag and hung up her dress in the front closet.  Taala walked in, her hair up and wet and gave the couple a smile.  “Hey.  Kenzie just left, she’ll be back in a few hours.”  She said, giving them a smile.  “Uh...I’ll...give you guys some time.”  She said quietly, reaching for her son.  Noah buried his face in Emily’s chest and grunted softly.  “Go way Immi.”  He mumbled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taala shook her head and sighed.  “I’ll be in the backyard.”  She said giving them some space.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a gentle smile, Derek leaned forward, his large hands cupping her face, his thumb brushing over the smoothness of her cheek.  “Just one more night, Princess.”  Leaning forward, he captured her lips with his before feeling two small little hands pressing against his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My Emmy. Dek, go way.”  Noah squealed, giving him a glare that was Mackenzie right over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughing, Derek shook his head.  “She’s your Emmy tonight, bud.”  He said ruffling the little boy’s curls.  The space between them grew as he took a step back.  “I’ll see you tomorrow at three.”  He said softly, squeezing her hand gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You better be there, Derek.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes met hers with a serious gaze.  “There is no doubt I will be.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dark eyes followed him as he headed through the doorway and back to their home.  She gave Noah a soft smile, dropping a kiss on his curls.  “Guess you’re my date for the night.”  She said to the little boy who grinned up at her.  Walking out into the backyard, she sat down beside Taala and gave her a smile.  “Thanks for letting me stay here and use your place as homebase tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not a problem.”  Taala gave her a smile and nodded towards the ice tea on the table beside her.  “Not happy about the arragents?”  Despite being the unit chief of the behavioural analysis unit and a skilled poker player, Emily’s poker face was easy to read.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just a stupid tradition.”  Emily mumbled, putting Noah down on his feet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taala’s eyes were soft as she gave her friend a smile.  “I get it.  I hate it when Mackenzie has to go do a court martial on an aircraft carrier or has to go across the country to do research for a case, but at the end of the day we’re married and I know that she is coming home to me.  You and Derek are the same way, you two will have each other at the end of the day.  One more night isn’t going to change that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The older woman broke off eye contact, following the little boy who was toddling around the backyard chasing a soccer ball.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ve started trying to get pregnant.”  Emily spit out quietly.  “For a few months now.  So far nothing.”  She ended, her eyes tearing away from Noah.  “I want to give Derek a family, one that he deserves.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taala hummed softly, staying silent for a few moments before speaking.  “Stop putting pressure on yourself.  Give it a few more months, have fun, spend time together.  Making a baby shouldn’t be work and you shouldn’t have expectations.  If then you still aren’t pregnant, come talk to me and we can do some tests on both you and Derek.”  She gave Emily a gentle smile.  “But right now, you should be worried about getting married, NOT having a baby, okay?  And if you want really good birth control you are welcome to come babysit my two legged terrorist ANY day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded and gave Taala a smile.  “It’s kind of surreal that we’re getting married tomorrow.”  She admitted softly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I felt the same way when I married Mackenzie.”  Taala admitted.  “But for different reasons.”  She laughed.  “Anyway, hair and makeup are coming around 11 am tomorrow and the photographer is coming as well.  We’ll get to Dave’s around 230…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The butterflies that Emily had thought had subdued months ago took off.  Her face blanched and she blinked a few times before looking back at Taala.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It just hit you, didn’t it?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Emily inhaled sharply through her nose and exhaled through her mouth.  “Tomorrow, I’m going to be Emily Morgan.”  She whispered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She laid in bed staring up at the ceiling.  It had been a couple of hours since she had gone to bed and still no sleep.  Pulling out her phone she sent Derek a quick text.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I can’t sleep.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>His reply came quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Me neither.  Take a blanket and go to the backyard.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The lights were still on in the hallway as Emily padded out in sweats and Derek’s Bears hoodie.  Mackenzie sat at the table, one leg under her, a pair of clear framed glasses on her face.  She glanced up and gave Emily a smile.  “Sorry, am I disturbing you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I couldn't sleep.”  She gave her a smile.  “Can I take a blanket outside?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking off her glasses, Mackenzie nodded and went and grabbed a blanket from the couch.  “Sure.”  She gave Emily a smile.  “I told Penelope that I’d make sure that you two are following the rules.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shrugged and took the blanket before heading out back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sit with your back against the fence.”  Derek’s voice ordered softly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wrapping herself up in the blanket, Emily sat down at the base of the fence, her heart almost flying out of her chest when she felt Derek’s hand under the fence.  She placed hers in his larger one and sighed.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you nervous?”  He asked, his own back leaning against the wooden fence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At first she wasn’t sure how to answer that.  Nervous?  Maybe.  Excited?  Definitely.  “I’m not nervous about marrying you, Derek.  I know in my heart and soul that we belong together, and I’m not nervous about going in front of our friends and family to express our love to each other.  I’m ready.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Across the fence, Derek audibly exhaled.  He squeezed her hand.  “I’m ready too, Princess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The night wore on and he stifled a yawn.  “We should go to bed.”  He said finally.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”  Squeezing his hand, she slowly got to her feet.  “I’ll see you tomorrow, Derek.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll see you tomorrow Emily.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They went their own ways for the last time in their lives.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>She heard Penelope and JJ before she saw them, burying deep under the duvet on the bed.  The duvet was ripped off and Penelope grinned down at her.  “Come on, bride.  Let’s get ready for your </span>
  <em>
    <span>wedding</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”  She sang dropping beside Emily.  “Today you will become Emily Morgan…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rolling out of bed, Emily sighed and looked at the faces of her best friends.  “I think I might puke.”  She mumbled, pressing her fists into her eye sockets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s get some food into you and we can start getting ready for your </span>
  <em>
    <span>wedding</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ offered Emily an apologetic smile and her hand.  “Let’s go, Em.  Your prince charming is going to be waiting for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Emily got up and kicked Penelope and JJ out of the room so she could change into the slip she was planning on wearing under the dress.  She emerged and gave everyone a shy smile, her mother, Fran, and Derek’s sisters had already arrived.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie flew by, dropping toast with peanut butter and banana cut on it, and a glass of water.  “Protein, water, simple carbs.”  She said in way of explanation.  Her hair was pulled high on the top of her head and she started to order the make up artists, hair stylists and photographers around with marine precision.  “Remember, this is Emily’s day!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Makeup was applied, dresses on, hair done.  JJ, Penelope, and Tara dressed in their blue bridesmaid dresses, and Emily in her ivory dress.  Her makeup was gentle and understated, her hair in soft dark curls down her back.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You look amazing, dear.”  Elizabeth Prentiss said softly, kissing her daughter lightly on the cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek’s gonna crap his pants when he sees you.  Or’s gonna cry.”  Desiree said with a laugh.  “You look so beautiful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking at herself in the mirror, Emily exhaled deeply.  She looked like a princess out of one of her books, she could barely recognize herself.  Her lip quivered and she blinked rapidly to keep the tears at bay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t cry yet.”  JJ said coming up from behind Emily, wrapping her arms around her best friend.  “You look so amazing, Em.  Now let’s go find your Prince.”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Derek readjusted his tie for the 30th time and looked at himself in the mirror.  The grey shirt set off the blue off the blue of his tie and his black suit.  Running his hands over his head and face, he looked at Rossi in the reflection of the mirror and frowned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Man, how did you do this four times?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a smirk, Rossi came up behind him, hands on Derek’s shoulders.  “Because I wasn’t nearly as nervous as you are now.  That would probably be one of the key signs that I wasn’t ready to marry any of those women.”  He said honestly.  “You guys have been in love for years, it just took you idiots longer to figure it out.”  Straightening Derek’s suit jacket he gave him a smile.  “Well, I’m going to go wait for the ladies.”  He said with a small mock bow.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Turning to Luke and Spencer, Derek sighed.  “The justice of the peace is here?”  He asked nervously, his hands wringing in front of him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The youngest agent nodded.  “Everything is ready.  I just saw the photographer come in, should we head out?”  He asked, straightening his tie.  Luke grabbed Derek by the shoulders and led him out into the backyard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>People were starting to fill in, his mom walking in and wrapping him in a tight hug.  “I’m so proud of you.”  She whispered in his ear.  “Your dad is too, I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek exhaled softly through his nose as he tried to calm his pounding heart, the blood rushing in his ears.  He chased unsubs for a living, faed down some of the most dangerous people in the country without batting an eyelash, but here he was, his palms sweating and his heart racing.  The music cued and he, Spencer, and Luke headed to the back where the arch was set up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ambassador Prentiss walked down the aisle and took her seat, then his mom and his sisters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes closed and took a deep breath as he walked out behind them, a shaky smile on his face.  Spencer followed and took his place beside him then Luke.  He swallowed hard Tara and Penelope walked down the aisle and finally JJ.  They all looked radiant in their dresses, their hands gripping white lilies and blue orchids.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Henry, Michael, and Noah all walked down the aisle, hand in hand, Henry holding a small box.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Swallowing repeatedly, his eyes searched desperately for a flash of white to let him know that Emily, his Emily, was going to walk down the aisle.  Then the song played.  Every little part of their wedding was a little bit different and this was no exception.  Instead of Canon in D major, the song “Marry Me” by Train flowed and he smiled seeing Emily, with Dave at her elbow, walk under the arch.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Promise me</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>You’ll Always be, happy by my side</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I promise to</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em></em>
  <span>Sing to you, When all the music dies,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There had never been a more beautiful vision in the world than seeing Emily Prentiss, soon to be Emily Morgan, walking down the aisle towards him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He promised himself he wouldn’t cry, but some promises were meant to be broken.  Tears rolled down his cheeks as Emily got to him, Dave putting her hand in his, clapping Derek on the shoulder before stepping aside to stand with Luke and Spencer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You look...you are…”  His lips came together in a tight line, his eyes closing as he tried to center himself.  When he opened them back up, dark eyes were staring back at him.  Emily gave him a gentle smile, one that she only used with him.  One that said </span>
  <em>
    <span>I trust you with my life</span>
  </em>
  <span> without so many words.  He nodded, their fingers interlacing as they turned to the justice of the peace.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Wedding</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The wedding day.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>"In real life, shouldn't a wedding be an awesome party you throw with your great pal, in the presence of a bunch of your other friends? A great day, for sure, but not the beginning and certainly not the end of your friendship with a person you can't wait to talk about gardening with for the next forty years."</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>-Mindy Kaling, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek squeezed Emily’s hand  as they stood there, turning to face the justice of the peace.  She gave them a gentle smile before starting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good afternoon.  Derek, Emily and I would like to welcome everyone on this gorgeous day. It’s because of all of you—because of this strong community—Derek and Emily’s relationship has strengthened and grown and led them to this very moment. Thank you for being here, now let’s begin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek and Emily, what you’ve accomplished here today is no small feat. Your journey began way before you sent out the invitations, chose this beautiful venue or even decided to spend the rest of your lives together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your journey began the moment you first met. You took the time to learn what makes the other person smile, what makes them laugh and how to best support them when life is less than simple. You welcomed each other’s families, communities and lifelong friends, and joined them together with warmth and enthusiasm. You built a new village with your love, and have worked every day to support this village as it changes and grows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Marriages bring hard days, just as they bring beautiful ones. This day is a reminder of what your love has already accomplished, and the amazing possibilities of what it can continue to accomplish and overcome in the many, many years ahead of you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now I understand that you two have written your own vows?  Derek, if you would like to please start.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Swallowing hard, Derek let go of Emily’s hand and pulled his vows out of his pocket, unfolding them gently.  His voice wavered as he spoke.  “Emily Prentiss, what can I say about you?”  He started, his eyes meeting hers.  “When you first came into my life, you made me smile with your dorky rambles and made me relax with our mutual appreciation of Vonnegut.  Soon, before I knew it, I had fallen head over heels in love with you, but we were both too stupid to realise it.”  He exhaled softly and gave her a small smile, the crowd disappearing.  “Then I lost you.  I lost you before I could truly say how I felt about you.  I was given a second chance and I don’t want to waste it.  You are the reason I get up in the morning, you are the reason I am who I am.  Emily, you are the reason I want to be a better man.  I promise you that for the rest of our lives, I will honour, cherish, and respect you until the day I die.”  He leaned forward to kiss her when he heard the justice of the peace cough and laugh softly.  The crowd giggled and Derek exhaled audibly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not so fast, Derek.  Now it’s Emily’s turn.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ handed Emily a piece of paper and took her bouquet.  Her hands shook and Emily closed her eyes and took a second to calm herself.  “I always thought I was unworthy of love.”  She started softly.  “I had accepted the fact that I was going to be alone when you bulldozed your way into my life.  No matter how many times I pushed you away, you kept coming back and forced your way into my life.  It wasn’t love at first sight, and it took us even longer to realise that what we had was true love.  You, Derek Morgan, are a piece of my soul.  You’re my true love.  You’re the person I want to wake up next to, and fall asleep next to.  I want to start a family with you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”  A tear rolled down her cheek and she wiped it away softly as not to smear her makeup.  “You’re the other half of my whole.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The justice of the peace grinned and nodded.  “Emily and Derek, do you take one another as partners, from this day forward as husband and wife?  Please yell a hearty “We do!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek and Emily exchanged glances and yelled “We do!” together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Turning to the crowd, the justice of the peace spoke again.  “And to everyone here, do you promise to stand by this couple, to remind them of their vows, and to act as an example of love and family?  Please yell a hearty “we do!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The backyard was filled with the yells of their friends and family.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking down at Henry, she gave the boy a gentle smile.  “Young sir, could I get the ring box?”  Henry walked forward and gave her the small box.  “Derek and Emily have chosen these rings to represent the unbreakable circle of life and love.  Emily, please place the ring on Derek’s finger and repeat after me.  I give you this ring to remind you of the day when we, in front of our closest friends and family, vowed that our love can overcome all things and that our love unites, inspires, and celebrates and will continue to do so for the rest of our lives.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sliding the ring on Derek’s finger, the simple white gold band, Emily repeated the words the justice of the peace had said.  They knew that at work they would wear replacement rings - silicone ones that couldn’t be broken or used against them - but these were the ones that they would wear every other time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now Derek, please pace the ring on Emily’s finger and repeat after me.”  She repeated the same words and Derek took Emily’s slight hand and slid the ring on.  They gave each other bright smiles.  The justice of the peace smiled and raised her arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek and Emily, it is with such joy that I now send you into the world to spread the beautiful light that you share with those around you.  By the power vested in me, I now, for the first time, pronounce you man and wife.  Derek, now’s your chance, you can kiss your bride.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One hand on her cheek, the other wrapped around her waist, Derek kissed her deeply.  The whoops and hollers disappeared as they kissed and they finally parted, Emily pink-cheeked and breathless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everyone, please welcome for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Derek and Emily Morgan!”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Their cheeks hurt from smiling so much as they stood in front of the photographer surrounded by their friends and family.  For Emily it felt like a dream, a fairytale.  His arm wrapped around her waist and smiled down at her, lips pressing against the crown of her head.  Once the pictures were all taken they headed into the back yard.  Things were kept simple, easy, low key.  The wedding itself was small so there was no reason to have introductions or a master of ceremonies.  They mingled and chatted until the caterers said they were ready.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no head table, just the tables set in a circle.  Their hands stayed laced together under the table as they ate, their chairs so close their thighs were touching.  They kissed when people tapped their glasses, finally choosing to just kiss whenever they wanted, much to Penelope’s argument that they were breaking tradition.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sun was setting, the fairy lights that hung in the gazebo that held the dance floor started to flicker on.  Dave got to his feet and motioned to Emily and Derek.  “I think that it is time for our new couple to have their first dance.”  They had decided to forgo the other traditional dances, but they knew they wanted to keep their first dance together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Walking out onto the dance floor, Derek wrapped his arms around Emily, her hands looped around his neck.  The strains of </span>
  <em>
    <span>Perfect</span>
  </em>
  <span> by Ed Sheeran started and he gave her a soft smile.  The music flowed softly and he pressed his forehead against hers.  “I love you.”  He whispered softly.  “I love you so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Well, I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I’ll share her home</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too.”  She whispered, their bodies moving together.  “Husband.”  She added, a teasing smile on her face.  “Seems kind of surreal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re my wife, Emily Morgan.”  Derek said, his face lighting up into an ear to ear grin.  “You are my wife.  For better or for worse for the rest of our lives.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I have faith in what I see</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Now I know I have met an angel in person</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>And she looks perfect</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>No, I don’t deserve this</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em></em>
  <span>You look perfect tonight</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The song slowly came to an end, their lips meeting again softly before the dance floor was flooded with their friends and family.  There was no splitting apart, no separating during the evening.  Even when they danced with other people, they were close enough to exchange blushing and loaded glances.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily finally stepped off the dance floor and grabbed herself a glass of champagne, just standing off to the side and taking in the scene before her.  She had been to weddings before, hell, she had been to weddings in this exact place before.  But this was her wedding, </span>
  <em>
    <span>their</span>
  </em>
  <span> wedding.  She wasn’t a girl that grew up dreaming of her perfect wedding, and for a while there, she was positive that she would be dead by the time she was 35.  Hell, she was dead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’re you doing, beautiful?”  JJ asked, coming up beside her best friend and squeezing her forearm.  “Everything you imagined your wedding to be?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A grin crossed Emily’s face and she shrugged.  “Honestly, Jayje, as long as Derek Morgan is the man that I am marrying, it wouldn’t matter where and when it took place.”  She admitted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ pretended to gag and leaned against Emily.  “You two are so disgustingly cute.”  They watched as everyone danced, Derek looking their way, his eyes calling to Emily before he sauntered over. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’s my Princess?”  Derek hummed, wrapping his arm around her slender hips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well look at Mr. Caveman, claiming his woman as yours.”  Emily teased, leaning up and pressing a kiss on his jawline.  “I’m doing great, how about you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pressing his lips against her hair, he sighed softly.  “I’m perfect because I married my best friend, my lover, my future.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A tear rolled down her cheek and she softly slapped his midsection.  “Don’t make me cry, you big jerk.”  She said, wiping the tear off her cheek.  “Let’s go back and dance.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The night rolled on and soon fewer and fewer people were left on the dance floor. The DJ had started to pack up, Emily and Derek still dancing under the lights.  “Should I...tell them that things are closing up?”  The DJ asked Rossi who was leaning against one of the poles, watching them silently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, let them dance.”  He said, sipping his scotch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon it was just them and them alone, dancing to music that could only be heard in their hearts and souls.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Honeymoon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm spoiling you guys with all these updates.<br/>Anyway, next week I'll be gone out of internet range to the lake - I'll be back Thursday for a few days and then I'll be gone again Tuesday-Friday.  <br/>Just a heads up.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“You are the answer to every prayer I've offered. You are a song, a dream, a whisper, and I don't know how I could have lived without you for as long as I have.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>― </span>
  <b>Nicholas Sparks, </b>
  <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/1498135">
    <b>The Notebook</b>
  </a>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her toes dug into the white sand as she opened her book, leaning back against the soft cushion of the chair.  Derek had gone for a run while she decided to spend the morning on the beach.  It was their first full day in Fiji, having got to their resort in the evening yesterday after their 16 hour flight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mrs Morgan?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily flipped her book open onto the fifth chapter, her sunglasses sliding down.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mrs. Morgan?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally it hit and Emily looked up with a grin on her face.  “Oh, sorry.”  She looked at the worker expectantly.  She handed her a note and a mimosa.  “Your husband asked me to deliver this to you and he left you this note.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A grin appeared on Emily’s face and she took the drink and the note.  “Thank you.”  Placing the drink on the small table beside her she opened the note.  Derek’s block lettering was scrawled on the resort letterhead.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Princess, </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We have a couples massage booked at 11, then lunch on our terrace. </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span> See you soon.  &lt;3 &lt;3 &lt;3 Love you.  D.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Checking her phone, Emily smiled and opened her book back up.  90 minutes before she had to head back to their room.  She put her sunglasses back on and went back to her book enjoying the sea and the silence.  When it was finally time to head back to the room, she gathered her things and walked back up the private beach.  They had booked a private cabin with their own private pool and hot tub that overlooked the ocean.  Taking the steps two by two, she came in the backdoor, finding the massage therapists there along with Derek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Princess.”  He closed the space between them and gave her a soft kiss, tasting a bit like sunscreen and ocean.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The kiss was returned, soft but chaste, her pale skin blushing.  She brushed her hair off her face and gave the massage therapists a smile before looking back at Derek.  “Whenever you’re ready.  It’s just a relaxation massage.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll leave the room and you two can get ready, just take off your clothes and lie under the sheet.”  The female therapist said as they stepped out of the room.  Emily glanced at Derek and shrugged as she stripped off her clothes and tossed them in the corner.  Derek did the same and they both slid under the sheet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had been forever since either of them had actually gotten a massage.  It wasn’t that they couldn’t afford it, or didn’t have the insurance, but they never had the time.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was apparently more tense than she had assumed and the hour flew by.  Emily stayed on the table before gingerly getting up and grabbing one of the robes and waiting for Derek to do the same.  The therapists cleared their tables and left the couples alone.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This was a great idea.”  Emily said, her voice tired and heavy.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek nodded, pulling Emily onto his lap.  “It really was.”  He pressed her lips against her shoulder.  “I ordered us lunch, it should be arriving in a few minutes.  I ordered some local specialities.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The table on the covered deck was set and different meals arrived and they headed out, still dressed in their robes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I never want to leave.”  Emily said softly, taking a bite of the food followed by a sip of the white wine.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it the beach?”  Derek asked as he took a bite of his own meal.  “The ocean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shrugging, Emily took a sip of the wine and gently put the glass down.  “No, it’s being here with you.  Not worrying about the next case.  Being your wie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Those words were still so new to her, </span>
  <em>
    <span>wife.  Mrs. Derek Morgan.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  “You know when you sent me the drink, the poor worker called Mrs. Morgan a few times before I remembered that it was me now,”  Emily’s cheeks flushed a soft pink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His laughter fell quickly from his lips and he sipped his beer.  “You are Mrs. Morgan now, well at least here.”  Derek said reaching over and kissing the palm of her hand.  “But even at work, you’re still my wife.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their eyes met across the table, his gaze loaded and hungry.  The food was quickly finished and the dishes put on the tray and left out in the hallway.  His large had encircled her small wrist as he shut and locked the door behind him.  His strong body pressed against hers, backing her into the wall.  Their lips met strongly, their lips and tongues clashing.  Hands slid under clothing, before they all landed on the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They laid in bed together, her body tucked into his, his arm protectively around her.  “You’re amazing.”  He whispered, his voice low and gravely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So are you.”  Her lips kissed his dark skin, the remnants of their sweat on his body.  “If someone had told you five years ago that we would be married, what would you have said?”  The question hung pregnant and loaded in the air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Five years ago?  You were new to the team and I would’ve laughed at them.  Not because you weren’t amazingly gorgeous and smart and talented and everything else...but because I was still so sure that you wouldn’t have given me the time of day.”  Derek admitted his fingertips running over her pale skin.  “What about you, Princess?  What would you have said had someone suggested that me and you would be married?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily’s laughter filled the room, soft and gentle.  “Derek Morgan settling down?”  She asked, eyebrows arching.  “I would’ve laughed until I was sick at just the idea of you being a married man.  Not even considering being married to me.”  Her fingers intertwined with his.  “The ring looks good on you.”  She commented, her finger running over the band on his finger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The ring looks good on you too.”  Derek hummed softly and brushed his lips over her ring.  They laid in silence, her head on his chest listening to the steady and strong beat of his heart.  After a while she felt the rumble of his chest before she heard him speak.  “Did you get a chance to look at the different excursions?  Anything that caught your eye?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily raked her short nails over his chest, lifting her head up to look him in the eye.  “Snorkeling.  Other than that I don’t care.  What about you, husband?”  She shifted and sat up so she was straddling him, the sheet draped loosely around her body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ziplining in the jungle.”  He said, his hands resting on her hips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why doesn’t that surprise me?”  Emily leaned down and pressed a kiss on his lips.  “Let’s book both and the rest of the time we can spend on our private beach, or in our private pool and hot tub…”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek laughed, pecking her lips in rapid succession.  “Sounds like a plan to me.  And order all the food we could ever want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her dark eyes twinkled as she leaned her head back and laughed, her dark hair cascading down her shoulders, a blanket of night against her pale skin.  “You know what a private pool means?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eyebrows arched and he met her gaze in a silent question.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Skinny dipping.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gasped, his hand moving from her hip to his mouth.  “Well, Mrs. Derek Morgan!”  He said, shock thick and fake in his voice.  “You are going to scar my innocent mind!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughing, Emily twisted her hair up on the top of her head and rolled her eyes.  “Oh yes, because I’m the one in this relationship that is the corrupting force.”  She said shaking her head and getting off of him, wrapping the sheet around her body.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes followed her as she walked into their kitchenette and grabbed two bottles of water, tossing one on the bed next to him.  “Yes Princess, you’re the one that is corrupting my innocent mind.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm hmm.”  She dropped back on the bed and laid her head on his thigh, her dark eyes looking up at him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re beautiful.”  He whispered, leaning down, his lips brushing over her forehead.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyelashes fluttered falling closed, her lips curled in a smile.  Hands reaching up, fingers tugging him downward for another kiss.  “Thank you for loving me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Those words stung and his eyes shot open.  “Emily Pr-Morgan.  I will love you until the end of the world.  I will follow you to the end of earth.”  He whispered.  With strong gentle hands he lifted her and pulled her onto his lap.  “There is no need to thank me, Princess.  You are my whole world.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A tear rolled down her cheek that she tried to brush away without him seeing.  His jaw clenched, wanting to hurt everyone who told her that she wasn’t good enough, not worthy enough for love.  “I will spend every day for the rest of my life showing you how much I love you.”  He said honestly.  “How much you are worthy of love.  How you are worth everything that the world gives you.  How you are worth the happiness that we’re feeling right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t.  For once in your life woman, trust me.  Trust me with your heart.”  Derek kissed her neck softly.  “You are a wonderful beautiful amazing smart woman.  Whoever told you otherwise is an idiot.  You, Emily Morgan, are the sun that my life revolves around.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I trust you Derek.”  Emily whispered.  “With my heart, with my soul, my life.”  She turned and gave him a wet smile.  “I hate you for making me cry on our honeymoon, you know that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed, pressing his lips to her forehead.  “Okay, Princess.  No more of this.  Let’s put our pool to good use.”  He said lifting her up off her lap and slapping her ass softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sheet dropped and she swayed her hips as she sauntered out to their deck.  “Next time spank me harder, husband.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leaning back, Derek swallowed hard and stared up at the ceiling for a few moments.  “You, Emily Morgan, are going to be the death of me.”  He muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shot him a glance, her eyes dancing and mischievous.  “But you’d die a happy man.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sitting up, Derek ran his hands over his face and grabbed two towels from the washroom before heading back out to their pool.  Emily was already in, floating and watching him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are an incredible woman.”  He said, jumping into the water and emerging beside her.  “I wonder how I got so lucky.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily grinned and captured his face in her hands, kissing him deeply, her legs wrapping around him.  “Don’t steal my line.”  She whispered against his lips.  “But I can steal your line.  You were born and you deserve everything in your life.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek hummed softly and returned her kiss.  “So do you, Princess.  So do you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her arms looped around his neck as they floated in the water, their lips meeting softly.  She leaned her head back, her hair dangling in the water, her laughter filling his ears and heart and soul.  </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. The next steps</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I am not a doctor.</p><p>Also - Trigger warning for periods, talk of infertility and shots/injections.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity, and her flaming self respect. And it's these things I'd believe in, even if the whole world indulged in wild suspicions that she wasn't all she should be. I love her and it is the beginning of everything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>― </span>
  <b>F. Scott Fitzgerald</b>
</p><p>
  <span>They had been home for 8 weeks and she was still getting used to the whole “Mrs. Morgan”, though thankfully at work she had decided to keep going by Prentiss.  Two Agent Morgans were enough.  Eight weeks.  When they first came back from Fiji, Emily realised that she was late. She waited, hopes high and then a week later she felt the telltale twinge in her abdomen.  The next morning she awoke to her period, heavier than normal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She knew that it could take them a little while to get pregnant, but it had been already 5 months since she had been off of her birth control.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then the next month, she was even later.  Emily had been regular from the time she was about 18, so she knew something was up.  After work she headed to the pharmacy and picked up a pregnancy test with plans to take it the next day when Derek got back from his case.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cuddled up on the couch, Emily flipped idly through her book unable to concentrate.  Her fingers floated over her phone when she felt it.  The smallest cramp that she knew was a precursor to her week.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Derek came back, he found her lying on their bed, a heating pack on her abdomen, tears in her eyes.  “Hey Princess.”  He whispered, crawling into bed with her.  “That bad?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shrugging, Emily leaned against him and sighed.  “Today it was pretty heavy.  But I was late, Derek.  Over a week late.”  A few tears escaped and rolled down her cheeks.  “I know I’m older, Derek, but why is my body betraying me?”  The flood gates opened and she turned, crying into his chest.  “I just want to give you a baby, a family.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek sighed and pressed his lips to Emily’s hair.  “Emily.”  He whispered softly.  “Honey.  Princess.  I love you so much.  You are so amazing, and nothing is going to change that, okay?  We’ll have our baby, I promise you that.”  His fingers raked through her hair softly as he let her cry into his chest.  “Em, maybe we should take Taala up on the offer to go see her friend who is the fertility specialist.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She froze in his arms, his breath held.  “You think it’s me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, both of us should go.  I’m not getting any younger either, Emily.  We should both go and see if things are normal, okay?  And if they’re not, for either one of us, we can figure out our next step.”  Derek held her tightly and rested his chin on the top of her head.  “Things will work out for us Emily, one way or another.  We’ve both gone through too much shit for it not to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They fell asleep like that, her head buried in his chest, his arms wrapped protectively around her.  The next morning Derek texted Taala for the number of the fertility specialist.  Emily was silent.  She was silent as they ate breakfast and made coffee.  She was silent on the trip into work, her nails chewed to the quick.  Reaching out, he gently placed his hand on her thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze.  “It’s going to be okay, Em.”  She didn’t reply, choosing to stare out the window in silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He walked her up to the BAU floor.  She gave him a chaste kiss before heading into her office and shutting the door, the blinds closing.  Everyone turned to him, concern written across their faces.  Motioning to JJ, Derek walked out with her and explained the situation, knowing that the blonde would keep their secret, and that she would keep an eye on her best friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When is your appointment?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek shrugged.  “I’ll make the call once I get to my office, but I’m hoping sooner rather than later.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ nodded.  “You know, regardless of the test results, she’s going to blame herself, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Derek gave JJ a sad nod.  “I know, but right now all we can do is get the appointment planned and go from there.  Just...keep an eye on her today?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On her tiptoes, JJ wrapped her arms around her friend.  “Got it, boss.”  She teased softly.  “Now go do your job, I’ve got her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a fleeting glance, Derek headed up to his floor, calling the fertility specialist.  Taala had warned her that they would be calling and because of Taala they were able to get an appointment for tomorrow afternoon.  He sent Emily an email with the appointment time that she left on </span>
  <em>
    <span>read</span>
  </em>
  <span> throughout most of the day before she sent a short reply.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The day dragged by and when it was finally time to head home, Derek headed down to the BAU floor and found Emily’s door still closed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did she come out at all?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spencer shrugged and packed up his bag.  “Twice, but both times to use the washroom.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Derek took the stairs two by two and opened the door without knocking.  Emily was at her desk, files open on her desk with her tablet beside her.  He quietly shut the door and sat down across from her, waiting for her to look up.  Finally she closed her file and looked up at Derek.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re okay with us going to the appointment tomorrow?”  He asked, leaning forward on his elbows.  “It’s at Walter Reed, everything’s covered.  It’s at 4pm so we’ll take a late lunch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded.  “Yeah, it’s fine.”  Organizing her desk she got up.  “Let’s go home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Waiting, Derek wrapped his arm around her waist and pressed a kiss to her forehead.  “It’s the first step to us having our own family, Emily.  And for all we know my swimmers could be going in circles.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She chuckled softly and shook her head.  “Let’s just go home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your wish is my command, Princess.”  They headed down to the parking garage, his arm around her waist.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <span>Her leg jiggled as they sat there, waiting for their names to be called.  Derek reached over and took her hand intertwining their fingers.  “It’s gonna be okay.”  He whispered, praying that the words he was saying were true.  When their names were finally called they walked into a bright office and met by a pleasant woman, her grey hair pulled up in a high bun.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, you must be Derek and Emily.  Taala has told me all about you, please grab a seat.”  She said motioning to the chairs across from her.  “I’m Dr. Anna Moore.  We’re going to be running a few tests today.  First is blood tests to check on your hormone levels and Derek we’re going to sperm count. Reading through your medical history, I’d also like to do an ultrasound on you, Emily.”  She spoke at a fast clip and passed the two pamphlets.  “I just want to see if there’s any scar tissue.  I’ll get your hormone tests rushed and hopefully we can get your counts done by the end of the appointment.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily swallowed hard.  “That soon?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Taala called in a favour.”  Anna said with a laugh.  “No one says no to Taala.  So, we’ll get started.  We’ll draw some blood and I’ll get those sent away and then Derek, we’ll send you off to get a sperm sample and then we can do Emily’s ultrasound after, if you want to be there for it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek nodded.  “Yeah, we’re in it together. Let’s get this party started.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nurses came in and took four vials of blood and sent them off before they sent Derek off with a little jar.  He sent Emily a look and pulled her close.  “Glad we have the pictures from our honeymoon.”  He whispered, causing Emily to blush a deep red.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he returned, they were ushered into an exam room where Emily climbed onto the bed.  A radiologist tech came in and did the ultrasound, snapping pictures on the screen along the way.  Once they were done, they were ushered back to Dr. Moore’s office.  She came in a little while later with a file and sat down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When I said we put a rush on them, we put a rush on them.  So, Derek, your sperm count is normal and your hormone level is also normal.  Getting closer to the low end of normal, but normal.  Emily, your hormone level is also on the low end of normal.”  She pulled out the pictures from the ultrasound and put them on the table.  “But this is where the problem lies.  Emily, you have scar tissue in your abdomen and uterus.  Are your periods painful?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shrugged.  “I mean, they’ve gotten worse in the past few years.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Since…”  Derek nodded and rubbed Emily’s arm.  “Yeah, she takes more pills. Like midol and stuff and sometimes is out of commission for a full day without it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dr. Moore wrote something down and nodded.  “Alright, so in my professional opinion, the reason why you’re having problems conceiving is because of this scar tissue.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily’s face fell, head shaking slightly.  She was ready to get up and leave when she felt Derek’s hand on her arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But, now that we know what the problem is, we can work with it.  We can do some ultrasound therapy - basically we use soundwaves to break up the scar tissue and then we’ll put you on some hormones.  Basically we’ll flood your system and force the embryos to stick.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Blinking a few times, Emily rubbed her face.  “Hormones.  Okay.  What does that entail?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shots, unfortunately.  I’ll do the first one here and then I’ll send you guys home with the rest.  Derek can administer them since you’ll have to get a shot in the postier.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek nodded, stealing a glance at his wife.  “Alight.  And the ultrasound?  Do we have to keep coming back here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Dr shook her head.  “No, I’ll get it set up somewhere of your choice.  I know there’s a clinic about 10 minutes from FBI headquarters.  We’ll start with twice a week and see how things go from there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded and squeezed Derek’s hand.  “How long would this be for?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Guess it depends if you guys are in it for the long run or not.  It usually takes between 2-10 months.”  Dr. Moore replied.  “So is this something you want to try?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gazes met and Emily nodded.  “We want a baby, so let’s give it a try.”  Her nerves washed over her and her stomach was in knots, but it was true.  They wanted a baby.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright then, well I’ll do the first shot.  The hormones need to be kept in the fridge and properly dispose of the needle once you’re finished with it.  I’ll give you enough syringes for the month.”  Dr Moore got to her feet.  “Alright Emily, I’m going to need you to drop your pants and underwear and lean forward on the exam table and Derek I need you to pay attention.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily stood up and unbuttoned her pants, and tugged them down and her underwear.  Trying to watch over her shoulder, she inhaled deeply.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, so first take the alcohol wipe and wipe down a spot for 30 seconds to make sure it’s clean.”  Dr. Moore said as Emily felt the cold wipe on a spot on her ass.  “Then fill the syringe up to this line,” she showed Derek talking him through everything.  “Then you need to put it in at 90 degrees in one swift motion and push the plunger down.”  Emily winced feeling the needle until it got removed.  “Then let it air dry for about a minute and then it’s done.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek walked over to the other side of the table and gave Emily a gentle smile.  “You okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not that bad.”  Emily replied, pulling him down for a small kiss.  After she pulled up her pants and gave the doctor a smile.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can also do the top of the hip muscle, and then the outside of the thigh muscle for injection sites, but from my experience the hip muscle is far more painful.”  Dr. Moore said, writing them a prescription.  “It’s for a full year, but in about 3 months we’ll meet and see how things are going, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Emily took Derek’s hand and squeezed it.  “Okay.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. A little help from our friends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Derek and Emily continue with their attempts at having a baby.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: Shots, infertility, hormones.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“All I ever wanted was to reach out and touch another human being not just with my hands but with my heart.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>― </span>
  <b>Tahereh Mafi, </b>
  <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/15333458">
    <b>Shatter Me</b>
  </a>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’re you feeling, Princess?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily rolled over and met Derek’s gaze.  “Okay, it’s only been one hormone treatment, Derek.”  She propped herself up on her elbow and looked down at him.  “It’ll take at least a week or two to see if there are any side effects.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,”  He sat up and stretched out.  “How’s your ass?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shrugged.  “Tender.”  She admitted.  “But nothing like getting hit in the vest.”  Emily got out of bed and tugged down her shorts to reveal a small bruise.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His heart clenched as he ran his fingertips gently over the upraised, warm spot on her otherwise perfect skin.  “I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek, it’s fine.”  Emily assured him, getting to her feet.  “We want to start a family right?  This is the only way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Derek ran his hands over his face.  “Alright.  You want to shower first and I’ll make coffee and breakfast and then after I shower I guess….I’ll do the shot?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her lips brushed against his softly before she pulled away and placed her hand on his chest.  “Sounds like a plan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>True to his word, the coffee was hot and steaming and he had left cut up fruit and muffins that Mackenzie had dropped off earlier in the week.  The pamphlets served as reading material as she waited for Derek.  When he emerged, jeans and a red shirt, she gave him a smile.  “Okay, let’s get this over and done with.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek went to the fridge and pulled out the hormones and brought it to the table.  Emily had already dropped her black dress pants and looked over her shoulder at him.  His hands shook and he stared at her, biting his bottom lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek, are you okay?”  She pulled her pants back up and turned, leaning against the table.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I...I can’t do this.”  He whispered quietly.  “I don’t want to hurt you, Em.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Emily raked her fingers through her hair.  “Derek, we don’t really have much choice.  Do you want to have a baby?”  She walked over and wrapped her arms around his neck.  “I know it’s not ideal and I’m sorry for everything.  It’s not about you, it’s about me and...Doyle.  If Lauren Renyolds had never happened...maybe we’d already have a baby.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shook his head and placed a kiss on her nose.  “Don’t blame yourself, Em.”  He whispered.  “I’ll figure it out, but today...would you feel okay with me calling Taala?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily’s face broke into a wide smile.  “My macho Derek Morgan needs reinforcements?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shrugging, he grabbed his phone.  “You can say that.”  A few seconds later his phone buzzed and Derek exhaled.  “Taala said we can head over.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Together they grabbed their go bags and tossed them in the trunk before heading over to Taala and Mackenzie’s.  They knocked before opening the door and found little Noah toddling around in his diaper and a banana in hand.  He grinned and walked away before Taala walked around the corner.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey guys, just head to the kitchen.”  She scooped up her son before standing at the bottom of the stairs.  “KENZIE!  I NEED YOU DOWNSTAIRS!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A loud thud came from upstairs and Mackenzie thundered down the stairs, her hair in a messy bun on the top of her head wearing her uniform top, but no pants, wearing a pair of pink boy cut underwear.  She looked at her wife and frowned.  “Thanks for letting me know we have company.”  She muttered, turning, ready to head upstairs again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taala reached for her and pulled her down.  “No, you don’t need pants.”  She turned to Derek and Emily.  “We’re kinda letting the cat out of the bag here, but we’re trying for another baby.  Or Mackenzie is at least.”  She shrugged and got the hormones and syringes out of the fridge.  “Alright Derek I’m going to walk you through this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Derek pulled out their hormones, but also pulled out a small tube.  “I...uh...bought this too.  It’s supposed to numb the skin somewhat.”  He muttered softly, showing it to Taala.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it will still hurt, but it helps.”  She said waiting for Emily and Mackenzie to drop their pants.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, there’s numbing cream?  How come I don’t get any?”  Mackenzie grumbled, pulling her underwear down a bit.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taala laughed and walked Derek through applying the topical numbing cream.  “Because Derek loves Emily a lot more than I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Obviously.”  Mackenzie muttered.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once they waited the suggested time, the doctor pulled out the alcohol swabs and set a timer as they both rubbed spots on their wives’ buttcheeks.  “This is kind of an awkward way to spend the morning.”  Emily piped up, glancing over at Mackenzie.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re telling me.”  The younger woman muttered as she rolled her eyes dramatically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now fill the syringe up to the line...then tap it to make sure that there are no air bubbles in it.”  Taala said slowly.  “God job, Derek.  Now you need to insert the needle at 90 degrees...and then push the plunger all the way in.”  She jabbed her wife and pushed the plunger.  “Then after put on a bandaid and we do it again tomorrow.”  Slapping Mackenzie’s ass on the other side, she took Derek’s syringe and properly disposed of it.  “Now you two can pull up your pants.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie gave her wife a look.  “I’m not wearing any.”  She grumbled, grabbing her olive green uniform pants and pulling them on.  Her face softened and she looked at Emily.  “I’m so happy that you guys are trying to have a family.  You’re gonna be a great mom.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily pulled up her pants and did up her belt buckle.  “Here’s to hoping.”  She mumbled.  “Thanks for everything, Taala.  Hopefully next time Macho Man Derek Morgan can do it alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shrugging, Derek scooped up the vial and leaned over and gave Emily a soft kiss.  “Maybe.”  He gave Taala a shy smile.  “It’s just hard to get used to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taala nodded.  “You do get used to it.  And then you take perverse pleasure in stabbing your wife in the ass.”  She said with a smirk.  “Now make sure that this goes back in the fridge.”  She said tightening the top of the hormones.  “And let me know if you need any other help, or Emily, if you have any weird side effects.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few moments later, Mackenzie came downstairs with her hair up in a tamed bun and her uniform on.   “You guys get used to it.  It takes a while for my body to get used to.”  She shrugged and grabbed her briefcase.  Leaning over she gave her wife a kiss.  “I’ll see you later.  And let me know how things go.”  She said to Emily before giving her son a kiss and heading out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek gathered the hormones and took the extra sharps box that Taala had and nodded.  “Thanks for everything, Taala.  Really.  I just…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I get it.  You don’t want to hurt her.”  Taala replied.  “I’ll pray for you guys when I go to the masjid today.”  She gave the couple a gentle smile.  “Things will eventually get easier.  I promise.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had been two weeks since they started the hormone treatment and Emily had done two rounds of the ultrasound treatment.  Except for some spells of lightheartedness and a few headaches, she had very few side effects.  They had been lucky so far that their cases were around the DC area, but they knew that luck would run out.  And soon.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And that’s why Tara and JJ were over at their place for dinner.  They had to keep up with the hormone treatment and there was no way that Emily could do them herself and the other options weren’t too hot.  So there they were.  This was not a conversation that Emily wanted to have with ANYONE let alone JJ and Tara.  Emily had made lasagna and Derek garlic bread and salad and they sat around the table, JJ and Tara sipping wine, Derek a beer, and Emily her flavoured soda water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So is there any reason why we’re here, besides the awesome supper?”  Tara inquired.  “Which, by the way, need the recipe for the lasagna.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily and Derek exchanged glances.  Clearing her throat, Emily nodded.  “Yeah, there is.”  She couldn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>believe</span>
  </em>
  <span> she was going to ask this question.  “So, Derek and I have decided we want to start a family, but we went to a fertility specialist and I have some scarring that is causing some issues.  I...I go get ultrasound treatment once a week - that’s when I’ve taken the long lunches - but I’m also on hormone treatment.”  Her cheeks flushed and she fought the urge to bite her nails.  “When we’re on a case...I need someone to...helpgivememyhormones.”  She mumbled all at once, avoiding eye contact with her two friends.  Derek took her hand under the table and squeezed it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly she looked up and glanced between JJ and Tara.  “Of course, Em.”  The blonde said with a smile.  “Anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tara nodded in agreement.  “Honestly, who else is given the green light to stab their boss in the ass?”  She commented with a smirk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughter filled the room and Tara tipped her wine glass towards Emily.  “But seriously, yeah it’s no problem.  Whatever you two need.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek rolled his eyes and gave them both a smile.  “Thanks, well, I have the instructions that Taala typed out and Em keeps a week’s supply of hormones in her work fridge along with some syringes.”  He said passing out the laminated sheets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two women exchanged glances before laughter started again.  “You laminated them?”  JJ giggled.  “Man, I would have never thought that Derek ‘Halloween honey’ Morgan would be laminating sheets on how to give his wife fertility drugs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Derek flicked a stray crouton at his friend.  “Shut up, JJ.”  He muttered, though the ghost of a smile crept onto his lips.  “But you two are good?  We can always like...find doctors or get Rossi or Reid…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ laughed and nodded.  “We’re fine, Derek.”  Looking at Emily, she gave her a smirk.  “Unless Emily wants Rossi to shoot her in the ass with hormones.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shook her head emphatically and took another sip of her flavoured water.  “No, there are some things this team doesn’t need to share.  But seriously, thank you guys.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Again, it’s not a problem.”  Tara said with a smile.  “As long as I get to spoil the little black king or queen.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next day they found themselves in Tampa, following a string of murders. Emily knew that killers didn’t take days off or slow down because they had something going on in their personal lives.  Regardless, it set her slightly on edge as they climbed onto the jet.  The files were spread out in front of her, as she silently flipped through them.  Every case was hard, they never got any easier, but it being her first case out of town since they started with hormones seemed to make her heart race.  Fingers twisted the black silicone ring Emily had in place of her wedding bands, the others safely locked away in her go bag.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had ideas, but no profile yet and they all left the police station, tired, frustrated and hungry.  Ordering in Thai, they met in the hotel’s business meeting room before splitting off to their rooms.  Changing into her “on the road” pyjamas, a pair of shorts and Derek’s Chicago Whitesox thsirt.  They promised when they got married that they would always wish each other good night, especially when they were on cases.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The phone rang twice before he picked up.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are things going, Princess?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s probably gonna take us a few days.”  Emily said, lying down on the bed and closing her eyes.  “Bodies keep popping up and we still don’t have a profile.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll figure it out because you’re amazing and the team is amazing.”  Derek said honestly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmmmhmmm.  How was your day?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek sighed and flopped back on the bed.  “Working on a bomber case.”  He said, leaving the conversation end there.  “I miss you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I miss you too.”  Emily crawled under the covers and sighed deeply.  “I’ll let you know when we’re on our way home, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright.  But make sure that Tara or JJ come over and give you your -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She laughed, her voice sleepy and gravelly.  “I know Derek, they know.  We have it under control.  I love you.”  She whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you too Princess.  Go to sleep.”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>It was far too early to be standing in front of her friends with her pants down, but they had another body.  Tara and JJ studied the laminated sheets that Derek gave them.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I brought bandaids!”  Tara announced unhelpfully.  “They’re little mermaid ones.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Groaning, Emily shook her head and looked over her shoulder.  “Okay, the cream should have numbed the spot enough, now JJ just do it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blonde bit her lower lip and slowly filled the syringe to the line.  She tapped the side of the syringe to remove air bubbles before looking back at her best friend.  “Are you ready?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jayje, we’ve been doing this for 3 weeks now, my ass looks like a dartboard.”  Emily said, rolling her eyes.  She winced slightly as JJ put the needle in and pressed down the plunger.  She disposed of it properly before returning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blonde gave her an apologetic smile.  “No weird side effects?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A few dizzy spells and headaches, but nothing I can’t handle.”  Emily replied, tugging her pants up and doing up the button.  “And I’ve been hot, but I’ve heard that was a common side effect.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll only run warmer when you’re pregnant.”  JJ said with a smile.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily tucked in her shirt and sighed, before pulling her hair up in a ponytail.  “If I get pregnant.”  She replied quietly, her voice lacking any of the confidence she normally had.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her best friend reached out and grabbed her arm, waiting for the older woman to turn.  “Emily, you will get pregnant and you will have a baby.”  She said seriously.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shrugged.  “Alright.”  She mumbled pulling her arm away.  “We have a case to solve, let’s go get breakfast and get to the precinct.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Salt in the Scratch</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The team finds Mr. Scratch and we find the fall out.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: talk of infertility, homophobia, racism.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“One love, one heart, one destiny.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>― </span>
  <b>Robert Marley</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek was officially worried.  Their jobs were one thing, but now with Reid in jail, he was concerned about his wife.  She was up well before he was, and rarely slept anymore.  At their three month check in with doctor Moore, Derek knew something had to give.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Emily your blood pressure is higher than it was the last time you were here.”  The doctor said quietly.  “And your weight has dropped.  Neither of those are a good thing, or are conducive to getting pregnant.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shrugged and picked at her nails that she had previously destroyed.  “Uh...yeah.  We’ve...had some problems at work.”  She said quietly, avoiding the gaze of the doctor.  Derek was thankful that the older woman waited his wife out and she stared at Emily.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Emily, you have to let me know if you’re serious about this or not, because if you’re not serious we’ll take you off the hormones.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her dark eyes snapped up, and Emily shot the doctor a look.  “If I’m not serious?  I’ve been taking hormones.  We’ve been taking my temperature - my INTERNAL temperature.  I put my legs up in the air after we have sex.  I’m SERIOUS about having a baby.”  Tears pricked in the corners of her eyes and she wiped them away roughly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek wrapped his arm around Emily but she brushed him away.  “I’m so serious about having a baby, but I also have a job.  I have a friend in PRISON.”  Tears rolled down her cheeks as she tried to calm herself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The doctor waited until she calmed and looked at Emily.  “You have a demanding job, I understand that, but you have to take care of yourself too.  Stress isn’t good for your body.”  She looked towards Derek who nodded.  “But, the good news is that your hormone levels are high and it looks like the ultrasound has worked because the scar tissue has decreased.  Those are both good things.  We’ll keep with the hormones and the ultrasound - but Emily - please try to calm down a bit, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded and ran her fingers through her hair.  Slowly Derek wrapped his arms around Emily and kissed her forehead.  “Once Mr. Scratch is caught, things can go back to normal.”  He whispered.  “We’re both so close to finding him”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>They were close and they finally had Mr. Scratch cornered, or so they thought.  The last thing Emily remembered was being in the SUV with truck lights blaring down on her.  Then darkness.  And then waking up in pain.  Emily knew pain.  She had known pain for years, but this was a new kind of pain.  She tried to move but couldn’t, lying in the dingy bed, beads of sweat washing over her.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then she saw him, Scratch, Peter Lewis.  “Agent Prentiss.”  Even in her state, she was glad she had enough sense to take off her ring and toss it away.  One less thing to use against her.  The morphine.  She needed it.  And at this point she would do anything for it…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ watched as Derek entered the hospital room, his large steps closing the gap between them.  “JJ, where’s Em?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She bit her lower lip and shook her head.  “Derek, you need to sit down.”  She said softly, wincing as his large hands brushed over the white bandage on her face.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shook his head, his hands crossing over his chest.  “Where.  Is.  Emily.”  Derek repeated slowly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s missing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She winced again, as Derek picked up the closest chair and threw it down the hallway.  “Then why aren’t we out LOOKING for her?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ waved security off and shook her head.  “Derek.”  Grabbing his wrist, she pulled him into the closest room.  Rossi’s.  “Sit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally he sat down and looked at her, his eyes full of anger and pain.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re doing everything we can to find Emily.  Luke, Matt, Penelope, Spence.  They’re all looking.”  JJ wrapped him in a tight hug.  “We’ll find her.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was trying to stay strong and he returned her hug silently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a few moments Luke came in with the news that Tara was waking up.  They walked into her room and Derek listened as she explained that she saw Mr. Scratch drug her.  Hot anger washed over him, his fists clenching.  Tara gingerly reached over and pulled something off her own finger.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek this is yours.”  She said softly.  “I think Emily took it off so he couldn’t use it against her.”  She whispered ,waiting for Derek to walk over to her bedside and she dropped the black silicone ring in his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Listening to the team speak, Derek stayed silent, putting the plastic on the end of his pinkie finger.  The memories of Emily dying the first time all came back.  He couldn’t live through this again.  Slipping out of the room, he found himself wandering the hallway until he heard a familiar voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taala came up from behind him and waited before giving him a hug.  “I did surgery on your friend, Dave.  I heard about everything.”  She said quietly.  Releasing him, she placed her hand on his cheek.  “It’ll be okay, Emily is the strongest person I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I...I can’t go with them.”  He whispered.  “It could put her and me at risk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Taala took his hand.  “I know, Derek.  It’s the same reason they won’t let us operate on family members.  Too close to the situation.  How about we go somewhere quiet and we can wait?”  She suggested quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded, the pain of not being able to do anything killing him.  Taala led him through the hallway until they were sitting in a small garden.  It was empty and they sat there in silence for God knows how long until his phone beeped and he got the text that he was praying for.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We got her.  Alive.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Nothing else, but she was alive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They ran tests and put her on some IV fluids and some antibiotics, but she was physically alright.  Derek sat down at her bedside, pulling the ring off his finger and sliding it on hers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You lost this.”  He whispered, her hand cold and damp in his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t want him to be able to use it against me.  Us.”  Emily whispered, her voice cracking.  “Am I...the drugs he used, they aren’t going to permanently hurt our chances of having a baby, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After everything she had been through of course that was the first thing on her mind.  Placing a kiss on her palm, Derek shook his head.  “They don’t think so.  But we’re lucky that you weren’t pregnant when he dosed you.”  He didn’t elaborate.  He didn’t have to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you.”  She whispered.  “I just kept thinking of you, Derek.  And our baby.  That’s what got me through.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The tears that had been threatening to spill over for the past few hours finally came and he cried into her shoulder.  “Don’t ever do that again.”  He whispered through his tears.  “I will divorce you.”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>They had six weeks off.  The whole team did.  Time to recover from their physical and emotional wounds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know Hamilton?”  Derek asked as he dropped on the couch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Blame Mackenzie.”  Emily replied, reaching for a handful of popcorn.  “Though, it’s basically Hamilton starring Mackenzie in every single role.”  She laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wrapping his arms around her, he pressed a kiss on her head.  “How are you feeling?”  He asked, breaching the topic that she was so good at avoiding.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Each day is a little bit better.”  She replied softly.  “You know with our job there’s always going to be another Scratch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek nodded and intertwined their fingers.  “I know.  But you still want to have a baby, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking up, Emily’s eyebrows arched.  “You are still giving me a shot in the ass each morning and we literally take my temperature every six hours.  Yes, I still want to have a baby, you idiot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good.”  Nuzzling his face in her neck, he pressed a few soft kisses before feeling her body vibrate as she sang.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel like this isn’t historically accurate.”  He said with a smirk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gee, our founding fathers didn’t solve their problems with rap battles?”  Emily answered sarcastically.  “Or the fact that our founding fathers weren’t black?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed as the music filled their living room.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>They went back to work in 2 weeks.  It had been almost a month since they had all been together.  Emily had called a “team meeting” at their place, spouses and kids welcome.  Her only stipulation was no shop talk.  It was a time for them to actually relax in each other's company.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The fire pit was pulled out along with lawn chairs.  It was nice to actually hang out without a case hanging over their heads.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spencer brought his mom who was enjoying the fire pit and the kids running around.  Jake and Henry played while Michael, Noah, Chloe, and Lily played together.  Even if it was for only tonight, they were a normal group of friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Curled up in Derek’s arms, Emily nudged him and pointed to the s'more that Tara had.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughing, Derek dropped a kiss on her forehead.  “Of course, Princess.”  He easily lifted her and replaced her on the chair before getting up to grab a marshmallow and a stick.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But don’t just up and burn it.  Take time.”  She ordered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Glances were exchanged with Matt who was already on his third marshmallow for burning the other two.  Putting more than one marshmallow on the stick, Derek walked over to where Matt and Mackenzie was sitting and gave them a smile.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It only took him 2 marshmallows before he gave Emily the </span>
  <em>
    <span>perfect</span>
  </em>
  <span> marshmallow for her s’more.  Sliding back under Emily again, he zoned out in the conversation until he felt Emily stiffen above him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pardon?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will looked at Derek and shrugged.  “Emily was saying that it was month six of hormones for you guys, I just said that maybe it’s God's signal that maybe a baby isn’t in your future.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence hung thick and heavy over the small group before Mackenzie killed the silence.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been doing hormones for at least as long as Emily has been.  It took us almost a year to get pregnant last time.  It takes time.”  She said shooting a glare Will’s way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It didn’t take us long at all.”  Will replied with a shrug.  “Both times we got pregnant without trying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek inhaled sharply and tightened his grip on Emily.  First, to ground himself.  Second, to make sure Emily didn’t murder him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie rolled her eyes dramatically.  “You didn’t try.”  She corrected.  “I feel like that might be a running theme.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man’s blue eyes narrowed as he looked the female couple up and down.  “Apparently some people can’t take the hint about maybe God is telling them about not procreating.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone exchanged glances fully waiting for them to come to blows.  Instead, Mackenzie stretched out on the chair.  “Is it because Derek and I are black, or is it because I’m a lesbian?”  She asked missing the hiss that both Luke and Matt released.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not a racist!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So just a homophobe.”  Mackenzie said getting to her feet.  “Anyway, we should be getting home.”  She said shooting Taala a look who got to her feet and went to go get Noah.  “I have to be in court tomorrow.”  Nodding towards Emily and Derek, she grabbed their sweaters. “Say bye to JJ for me.”  She called walking off with her wife and son.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ came back from the washroom and looked around.  Everyone refused to make eye contact with her and she sat down beside Will.  “Taala and Mackenzie went home?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uhh...yeah.”  Matt said, giving his wife a look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The silence was thick and awkward as JJ looked around at her friends.  “Okay, what happened?”  She asked finally, looking between her friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly Emily got up and grabbed her sweater from the corner, pulling it on.  “Your husband informed us that maybe it’s God’s will that we aren’t getting pregnant.”  She said flatly cursing the hormones she was on for making her more emotional than usual as tears pricked in the corners of her eyes.  “And then he told Taala and Mackenzie that maybe they should take the hint about not being able to have kids naturally.”  The anger in her voice spilled over and Emily turned.  “You guys stay out as long as you want, but I’m going inside.”  She walked inside and shut the door strongly without looking back.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ glared at her husband and gathered their things.  “I’m so sorry guys.”  She said quietly.  “Derek, tell Em that I’ll call her tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek nodded, watching JJ gather Henry and Michael before storming off, leaving Will to pack up the rest of their stuff.  Once they left, Derek exhaled loudly and looked around.  Rossi stood up and walked over, squeezing Derek’s shoulder.  “Alright, I think we’re going to be calling it for the night.”  He said softly.  Leaning down he looked at Derek.  “Go take care of your wife, Derek.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The small group disbanded and Derek put out the fire pit before locking up and heading upstairs.  He found Emily standing in front of the mirror, her hands resting on her abdomen.  Coming up from behind, he wrapped his arms around her.  “What are you looking for?”  He asked quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seeing if maybe things have changed.”  She admitted shyly.  “And imagining what I’d look like pregnant.”  Slipping away from his embrace, Emily grabbed the oversized shirt she wore to bed and tugged it on.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shedding his own clothes and tossing them in the hamper, Derek crawled into bed and opened his arms for Emily to crawl in.  Once she did, he closed his arms and hummed softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know we’re going to have a baby, right?”  Derek whispered softly.  “We’re going to have our own family.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily didn’t answer, but interlaced their fingers and squeezed his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pretended she didn’t hear him get up in the middle of the night and head downstairs to their home gym to work out and he pretended he didn’t hear her get up and lock herself in the bathroom, her silent sobs wracking through her body.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. What if we never get the chance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>JJ and Emily deal with the aftermath of Will's words and keep trying their luck with getting pregnant.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>“It isn't possible to love and part. You will wish that it was. You can transmute love, ignore it, muddle it, but you can never pull it out of you. I know by experience that the poets are right: love is eternal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>― </span>
  <b>E.M. Forster, </b>
  <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/4574872">
    <b>A Room with a View</b>
  </a>
</p><p>
  <span>It had been a week since Will had uttered those words.  A week since JJ had sent her first text.  A week since Emily had read the text and not responded.  Emily knew that it wasn’t JJ’s fault but it didn’t make it easier to swallow.  She had so far avoided the blonde’s calls and texts, and one avoided JJ coming over.  But this time she wasn’t so lucky.  They had just returned from her ultrasound appointment and JJ’s vehicle pulled up behind them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek shrugged.  “You’re gonna have to talk to her some time, Em.”  He said, putting his truck into park.  Squeezing her hand, he climbed out and greeted their friend before disappearing through the front door.  Emily climbed out of the truck and gave JJ a silent look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve texted you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded.  “Yeah, I know.  I got them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blonde sighed and ran her fingers through her hair.  “Can we talk?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shrugging, Emily led her to the back yard and pulled out two chairs.  “Then talk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Em, I’m so sorry.  I didn’t know what Will had said.  It was rude and insensitive of him.”  JJ said softly.  “I...was so angry with him.  We got into it when we got home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Picking at her nails, Emily finally looked up at her best friend.  “Do you two talk about us like that?  That maybe us not getting pregnant is a sign from God?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re not even religious.”  JJ said quickly.  “And as if we should talk, we certainly didn’t do things in the right order.”  Reaching out slowly for her best friend’s hand, she stopped her from destroying her nails and squeezed it.  “And no, I don’t think that.”  JJ assured Emily.  “You and Derek will be amazing parents and you deserve to be a mother.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Glancing up at JJ, Emily gave her a tight lipped smile.  “Okay.”  She whispered softly.  “It just really hurt, JJ.  We’ve spent so much money and time…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.”  JJ said quietly.  “I know you have, and you’ll get your baby.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sat in silence until Derek emerged from the house with glasses of lemonade.  Placing them on the table, he leaned down and gave Emily a soft kiss before heading back inside.  JJ gave Emily a smile shaking her head slightly.  “You two are pretty perfect, you know that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Except for the whole barren thing.”  Emily retorted twisting her hair up in a ponytail.  She exhaled loudly and looked at JJ.  “I’m sorry.  It wasn’t you that said those things, but it hurt.  And I’m a bit more emotional than I normally am.”  She mumbled.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ picked up the glass and wiped the condensation off.  “It’s the extra hormones.”  She said quietly.  “I love you, Em.  And I love Derek.  There is nothing more I want than to see you and Derek as parents.  I promise you that I am sending all the good karma into the world for you and Derek.  Speaking of which, how are things going?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily sighed and picked up her own glass.  “Today is the last ultrasound appointment for the next little while so we’ll see.”  She said softly.  “I can just hope.  But it feels like sometimes that….what Will said was right.  That God is sending us a sign that babies aren’t in our future.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ shook her head.  “Will was being an idiot and an asshole.  You and Derek will have babies.  They’ll probably be all super impulsive and throw themselves into things.  But they’ll be adorable “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They visited for the next little bit before JJ headed home and Emily picked up the glasses and walked inside.  Derek looked over and gave her a smile.  “You and JJ friends again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shrugging, Emily dropped herself into his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck.  “Yeah.”  She said softly.  “I’m still pissed off at Will and I know that it’s not JJ’s fault...but…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, Princess.”  Derek whispered softly.  “How about we go have sex, will that make you feel better?  And according to the calendar, you should be ovulating.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily rolled her eyes and started to laugh.  “Oh Derek, you know exactly what to say to get me hot and bothered.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed and stood up, her arms still looped around his neck.    </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <span>She felt like shit.  Her head hurt and her dizzy spells were worse and she was sick to her stomach, but there was no way in hell she was going to tell Derek that.  He would make her go to the doctor and probably take her off of the hormones.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, she went into the debriefing room and sat down.  Case in San Francisco with a mass shooting.  Everyone filled in the room, her stomach lurching at the smell of Luke’s breakfast burrito.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay, boss?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded and got to her feet, choosing to stand behind Rossi.  “Fine.  Penelope go ahead.”  She focused on what was being said, swallowing hard.  Reaching for her bottle of water, she took a few tentative sips as a wave of nausea washed over her.   “Alright, wheels up in 20.”  She said as Penelope finished and tried to walk out as quickly as she could without raising suspicions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wasn’t going to vomit, at least not at work.  Sighing, she pulled her hair up in a ponytail.  They had babysat Noah a few days earlier and the young boy had brought home a bug from daycare.  So much for being indestructible.  Grabbing a couple of gingerales out of her fridge and then a bottle of pepto, she tossed them in her go bag and headed to meet the rest of the team.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the sky, Emily filled her glass full of ice and poured half a glass of gingerale.  She sipped it slowly as she flipped through the file.  She could feel Tara and JJ’s eyes on her and she sighed, looking over at her friends.  “Yes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shrugged and sipped her gignerale.  “Yeah, I’m fine.  We babysat Noah last week and he had the flu.  Guess I got a touch of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The other two women nodded and didn’t say much until it was time to go through the files.  By the time they landed, she had started to feel a bit better and just brushed it off and got to work.  The next day her stomach was still touchy, but she was feeling much better.  Sipping on her tea, she focused on the case in front of them.  By the end of the week she was still tired and sometimes nauseous, but seemed no worse for wear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were all too happy to head home.  Derek had been in Nebraska and was just heading home as well.  She beat him back by a couple of hours and had showered and changed and headed out back.  Grabbing a book, she cuddled up on the chair and sipped her sparkling water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was still out back when Derek returned with a pizza.  He was freshly showered and shaved, but his face and eyes tired.  Getting up, she put the pizza on the table in the back yard and wrapped her arms around him.  “You okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Derek rested his chin on the top of her head.  “Yeah, I’m okay now. Are you on call this weekend?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shook her head.  “No.  You?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stayed in each other’s arms until Emily finally wiggled out.  “We should probably eat the pizza before it gets cold.”  She said softly, opening the box.  Both of them were good at compartmentalizing with their jobs and only offering advice when the other asked for it.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do I smell pepperoni?”  Mackenzie popped her head over the fence with a grin.  “The things you give up for love.”  She commented with the wave of a hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughing softly, Derek pressed a kiss to Emily’s forehead.  “I guess so, it’s pork.  SO how are you guys doing?  It feels like forever since we’ve seen each other.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re good.  Yeah, I was on the Patrick Henry running a JAGMAN investigation and then a court martial.”  Mackenzie said with a small shrug.  “Glad to be back on solid ground and I don’t have to listen to fighter jets take off and land all night.  JJ came and talked to us to apologize before I left.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded and walked over to the fence.  “Yeah, she came over and apologized as well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told her that I’ve been called worse by far better people.”  The younger woman replied.  Naoh walked up to the fence and jammed his little fingers in between the slats and pulled himself up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Emmy, up.”  He ordered softy.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie reached for Noah and passed him over the fence and the little boy cuddled in her arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We asked him if he wanted a little brother or sister.”  Mackenzie said with a shake of her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah looked up and smiled.  “No fank you.”  He announced proudly.   After a few moments he crawled out of Emily’s arms and ran over to Derek before returning to Emily.  He pressed his little hands against her abdomen and smiled.  “Baby baby.”  He announced.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily stiffened, and ran her fingers through Noah’s hair.  “No buddy, there’s no baby.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah baby.”  Noah repeated looking at Derek who had walked over, his arm around his wife’s shoulders.  “Dek, baby.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The tears threatened to fall and Mackenzie quickly walked around the fence to grab Noah.  “Okay No, it’s time to go back inside.  She gave Emily and Derek a tight lipped smile.  “I’m so sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah frowned and shook his head.  “No sowwy.  BABY!”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Mackenzie threw her son over her shoulder and turned, heading around the fence.  She closed the gate and headed inside.  Once Emily knew he was inside, she turned and buried her face in Derek’s chest, her hot tears soaking his shirt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, Em.”  Derek whispered, his fingers softly carding through her hair.  “Noah didn’t mean anything by it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a few moments of silence, Emily pulled back and sighed, her eyes still red and wet.  “I know.”  She mumbled, wiping her eyes.  “But...what if we never get that chance?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We will.  I have faith.”  He whispered.  “Let’s eat and then I’ll go up and draw a bath.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Emily walked over to the table and picked up a piece of pizza, nibbling at it.  His dark eyes watched her silently, eating his own piece of pizza. “Are you sure you’re okay, Em?”  He asked, finally watching as she barely finished the piece of pizza.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m...I dunno.  I think the stress of everything is getting to me.  Just feeling a bit off.”  She admitted, picking up another piece of pizza and eating about half of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded.  “You need to relax more.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily sighed.  “You know, but you know how it goes in our jobs.”  She said taking one final bite of pizza before putting it aside.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding in agreement, Derek finished a couple more pieces before tossing their plates in the trash and cleaning up.  “Maybe we should go to a doctor just in case, it seems to be taking longer for you to get over the flu.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eyes narrowing, Emily shook her head.  “Derek, three days ago you were puking your guts out.  I’ll be okay.”  She said with a small smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, Princess.  Do you want to take a bath?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled, a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.  “Sure, that sounds great.”  Folding up the pizza box, Emily put it in the fridge before locking up the house and heading upstairs.  Derek already had the bath drawn, bubbles and bath oils, candles lit along the edge of the tub.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You spoil me, you know that?”  Emily whispered softly, standing on her tiptoes and pressing a soft kiss on his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek grinned.  “I know, and you deserve every single minute of it.  Now, if you excuse me, preseason hockey is on and I want to watch my Hawks kick the Leafs’ ass.”  He said returning her kiss.  “You have go have a soak and finish your book.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, she grabbed her novel off the nightstand and stripped off her clothes.  Glancing over her shoulder, she blushed seeing Derek’s eyes on her.  She sauntered off to the washroom, sinking into the steaming water and opening a book.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hopefully you’re not too tired after your bath.”  Derek called as he stood in the doorway, staring at his wife.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled back softly.  “I’m never too busy for you, Husband.”  Her eyes sparkled as they lowered to the open page and she sunk into the water.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Have you checked?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A teammate is suspicious of Emily's illness</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey all, </p><p>With school and work starting up in the next couple of weeks I'm going to aim for updates once a week.  Usually Sunday evenings! </p><p>Thanks for reading along!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>― </span>
  <b>Maya Angelou</b>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ watched as Emily exited her office again and she went and grabbed another drink from the vending machine along with some crackers.  Making sure no one was following her in, she followed Emily into her office and shut the door quietly.  The dark haired woman looked over and gave JJ a look.  “Can I help you, Jayje?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The younger woman sat down and looked at her boss.  “Have you checked if you’re pregnant yet?”  She blurted out watching as Emily’s face fell.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, but…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But what?”  JJ countered.  “When was the last time you had your period?  Do you still get your period on hormones?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily frowned and bit down on her lower lip thinking hard.  “Um...I guess it’s been a bit since I’ve had my last period.  I just...with Reid being in jail and everything…But...I can’t be pregnant.  They said that it takes about a year.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are always the over achiever.”  JJ teased while she pulled out a pregnancy test box out of her bag.  “Well...do you want to find out?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Staring down at the box, Emily looked up at her best friend.  “Okay, we do this incognito.  I don’t want anyone to know if I’m pregnant or not, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ grinned.  “Got it.  Go to the washroom and pee on the stick, then put it back in the box and then we’ll come back to your office.”  She said standing up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But...can’t there be false positives?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Four other tests, all different brands rolled out onto the table when JJ dumped her bag.  “Oh yee of little faith.”  She said softly.  “I’ve got you covered.  Now let’s go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They found themselves a few minutes later back in Emily’s office with the five tests laid out on toilet paper.  Neither spoke as the time ticked down on JJ’s phone until the alarm went off.  Emily stared at her friend, eyes wide, and slowly reached for the first pregnancy test.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Plus sign.  What the fuck did a plus sign mean.  JJ seemed to understand and she picked up the box.  “Plus sign means pregnant.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Blinking Emily picked up the next one.  “Two lines.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pregnant.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Another plus sign.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pregnant.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This one </span>
  <em>
    <span>says</span>
  </em>
  <span> pregnant.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They went through each test and each one was positive.  Emily kept trying to swallow but it was like all of the saliva in her mouth had dried up into sand.  Her heart hammered in her chest and her vision swam.  JJ walked around and grabbed her head, lowering it between her knees.  “Deep breaths.”  She ordered softly, her hand rubbing small circles on her back.  “You’re okay.”  She whispered.  Finally, Emily calmed down and sat up slowly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m pregnant.”  She whispered softly, her voice shaking.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re pregnant.”  JJ replied with a smile.  “Mama.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily blinked a few times before looking down at the tests and back at JJ.  “I need to tell Derek.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah you do.”  JJ grinned and waited for Emily to get to her feet and she walked over and wrapped her arms around her friend.  “I’m so excited for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Returning the hug, Emily exhaled softly.  “Jayje, can this stay between us?  At least until we know that...it...takes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ nodded and pulled back.  “Of course, Em.  Anything.”  She grinned at her friend.  “Go tell your husband this amazing news.”  She said softly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded and pocketed two of the tests and headed out of her office.  JJ went back to her desk, a smile on her face.  Taking the stairs up to the VICAP floor, Emily popped out and gave a few of the agents gentle smiles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s up in his office.”  Agent Vasquez told Emily.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.”  Her heart pounded as she took the steps two by two.  Knocking on the door, she let herself in, shutting the door behind her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek looked up from his desk and gave his wife a smile.  “Hey Princess.  Not that I don’t love seeing you, but did I miss a lunch date or something?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sitting down across from Derek, she pulled out the two pregnancy tests placing them in front of him.  She watched as his face lit up and his eyes welled with tears.  “Are these….real?”  He whispered, picking up one of the tests.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, they’re real.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was around the desk instantly and pulled Emily to her feet, his hands cupping her face as he pulled her in for a deep kiss.  When he pulled away, he leaned his forehead against hers. “You’re pregnant?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m pregnant.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dropping to his knees, Derek pushed her shirt up and placed one of his palms on her abdomen.  “You’re pregnant.”  He whispered, just kneeling there, his thumb drawing small circles on her skin.  “We’re having a baby, Princess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stayed like that for longer than either would care to admit before Derek got to his feet.  “We’re having a baby.”  He repeated.  “I can’t wait to tell everyone -”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily took his hands and squeezed them gently.  “About that.  We should wait until we go to the doctor and get a blood test done...and see if the embryo is viable.”  She said sadly, wishing that she didn’t have to be the one to give him the news like that.  “And then...wait until I get past the first trimester when the risk of miscarriages drop.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His face fell slightly, but he nodded.  “Oh.  Yeah.  Okay.”  Running a hand over his face, he sighed.  “We’ve waited this long, we can wait a bit longer.”  He said with a small shrug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Emily pushed her shirt down and reached for him, giving him a soft kiss.  “We can wait a bit longer.”  She whispered.  “I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too, Emily.”  He replied leaning down and pulling her in for another kiss.  “Now get to work.”  He teased, holding the edge of her shirt with both hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her face was bright and she nodded.  “I’ll make an appointment with the OBGYN.”  She said heading out.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek sat back down at his desk, the tests still there.  Grinning, he took a picture of them before gently placing them in the trash.<br/></span>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Four days later they were in the office of Dr. Addison Montgomery.  Taala had made some calls and got them the best doctor in mother and fetal medicine that she knew.  Derek laced their fingers together and he kissed them, a calm mask on his face, despite his heart hammering in his chest.  When Emily’s name got called, they stood up and he followed her into the exam room.  Pulling herself up onto the exam table, Derek held her hands between his until the door opened.  A tall redheaded woman walked in and she gave Derek and Emily a wide smile.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, I’m Addison Montgomery.”  She said putting Emily’s file down and shaking their hands.  “It’s nice to meet you.  I’m going to be honest, I don’t normally do OB consults, but Taala gave me your file and I agreed to take it on.  You’re a high risk pregnancy and I’d like to see you through this.  I’m a neonatal surgeon with board certifications in both obstetrics and gynaecology and maternal and fetal medicine.”  She said, giving the couple a smile.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily bit her lower lip and gave her a weak smile.  “So you are very good at what you do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Very very good.”  The doctor said honestly.  “Anyway, I’d like to do a blood test and then we’ll do a transvaginal ultrasound and check things out.”  She got up and called the nurse in and waited for her to take Emily’s blood sample before wheeling out a smaller ultrasound machine.  “Okay Emily, I’ll give you a couple of minutes to get changed into the gown, but I need everything off including your underwear.”  She left the room, leaving Emily and Derek alone.  Emily stripped down and pulled on the gown, sitting back on the bed.  Addison returned a few minutes later and smiled.  “Alright, let’s get this show on the road.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek watched carefully as the doctor slipped a condom on the wand and he frowned as she added some gel.  “Okay Emily, knees up and bent.”  She said as Derek looked away quickly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking a few deep breaths, Emily winced as she felt the wand inserted and tried to relax.  Addison moved the wand around, twisting and turning, before taking a few pictures of the screen.  “And there is a heartbeat.”  She said with a smile.  There was a flicker on the screen, a black and white ball.  She hummed softly and pointed to the screen.  “And that is another heartbeat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily blinked and stared at the screen.  “Wait, what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Twins.”  Addison smiled and circled the two flickering blobs on the screen.  “Baby A and Baby B.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shaking her head, Emily looked over at Derek.  “Two?”  She said smacking her husband softly who was staring at the screen.  He reached out and gently ran his fingers over the screen before pulling it back quickly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Addison smiled and took a few more pictures before removing the wand.  “I’ll print you off some pictures.  You’re at seven weeks gestational.  I’ll give you a script for some prenatal vitamins.  You can get dressed Emily and I’ll come back and we can discuss some things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pulling her clothes back on Emily looked at her husband who was still silent.  “You okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek blinked and ran his hands over his face.  “Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slipping her shoes back on, Emily took his hand and squeezed it.  Addison returned with a bottle of pills, some pictures, and a prescription.  She passed the pictures to Derek who held them carefully as he tried to focus on what Addison was going to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So looking at your blood test results, you’re slightly anemic.  I’ve added some iron supplements and folic acid along with your prenatal vitamins.  Because you’re a high risk pregnancy, I’d like to see you every few weeks, okay?  Just to be on the safe side.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily twisted her hands and nodded.  “But the pregnancy, it’s viable?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The redhead turned and looked at the couple.  “I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t.”  She said seriously.  “But I don’t want to make light of the seriousness.  Due to your age, the trauma you’ve suffered and the anemia,  you are a high risk pregnancy, but that in no way doesn’t mean that this pregnancy will fail.  We’ll do everything to send you home with a baby.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Emily squeezed Derek’s hand, though he was focused on the singular use of the word baby instead of babies.  He didn’t hear the last of the directions, only getting to his feet when Emily tugged him up.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Doctor.”  He said quietly, shaking her hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Addison nodded and handed everything else to Emily.  “See you in a couple of weeks.”  She said getting the door for the couple.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily took Derek’s hand in hers and squeezed it softly, his hand cold in her warm one.  He was still silent once they reached the vehicle and she closed the door, leaning against the driver’s side door.  “Alright, what’s up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Derek ran his hands over his face and head, a nervous habit.  “She said baby, Em.  You’re pregnant.  With twins.  She doesn’t think that our babies are going to make it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She took his hands and pulled him close.  “I’m pregnant, Derek.  That in itself is a miracle.  Let’s just celebrate that.”  Emily whispered.  “And in six weeks, when we get the all clear, we can celebrate with our friends and family.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a few minutes he leaned over and pressed a kiss to her forehead.  “You’re right.  It’s just a lot to process right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.”  Emily smiled and handed him the keys and walked around to the passenger side.  Buckling herself up, she toyed with the prescription in her hands.  “Let’s go get this filled and then can we grab some ice cream?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed softly and started the vehicle.  “Of course, Princess.”  Derek smiled.  “Ice cream cravings starting already?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shrugged.  “Don’t really know, but we should probably pick up some crackers and gingerale and ginger tea.”  She said as they headed to the nearest pharmacy.  “Guess we can officially call it morning sickness, but mine seems to be lasting for much longer than just the morning.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyebrows knitted together and Derek turned and stole a glance at her as they drove.  “You didn’t think to tell me that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Put it off to having a bug.  You spent a few days throwing up, I just thought I had that.”  Emily reasoned.  “And I didn’t realise how long it had been lasting, or the fact that I had missed my period with the whole Reid in jail thing, and then Will being a dick thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Derek pulled into the parking lot.  “Okay, but can you let me know the next time </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span> happens?”  He questioned.  “Please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright.  As long as you get me ice cream that has caramel in it.”  Emily replied, climbing out.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And maybe we should talk to Mackenzie about what kind of food I can make that has more iron.”  He started to muse. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rolling her eyes, Emily gave the pharmacist her prescription, leaving Derek talking to himself and reading the labels on different foods.  Once her name was called, Emily grabbed the couple of pill containers and went with Derek to pick up their ice cream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe, maybe just this once, things were starting to look up for them.  Maybe just this once.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. No</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Emily does something that puts her life, and the life of her babies, at risk during a case.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them. ”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>― </span>
  <b>Agatha Christie, </b>
  <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/3038860">
    <b>Agatha Christie: An Autobiography</b>
  </a>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily frowned.  Derek was there again.  She understood his concern, but women had been pregnant for eons, well before the invention of modern medicine.  She knew she had no right to be upset with him, that he was just checking on her and it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>sweet</span>
  </em>
  <span> and that he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>caring</span>
  </em>
  <span> but it still annoyed her.  JJ smirked and placed her hand on her friend’s forearm.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s the hormones.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eyebrows knitted together and Emily’s face screwed up in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The mood swings.”  JJ explained with a shrug.  “I spent both pregnancies pissed off at Will.  And Spencer.  And actually Derek for that matter.”  She said laughing.  “I won’t say that they get any better, but you just get used to them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Emily combed her fingers through her hair and shut her blinds.  “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> he means well, but...ugh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ’s laughter filled the office and Emily shook her head.  “He’s just excited.  And he wants to make sure you’re doing okay.  It’s sweet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s annoying and patronizing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A knock at the door.  JJ smiled and opened it, finding Derek standing in the doorway.  She met Emily’s gaze and mouthed </span>
  <em>
    <span>Be nice</span>
  </em>
  <span> before sliding out of the office and shutting the door behind her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, how are you feeling?  Did you eat the spinach salad?  And the white bean dip?”  Derek asked walking over and pressing his open palm on her abdomen.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Emily let him touch her abdomen for a moment before moving behind her desk.  “I’m feeling okay.  Not nearly as nauseous.  The homemade ginger tea and ginger juice that Taala and Mackenzie sent over seems to be helping.”  She rubbed her temples.  “I ate most of the salad and some of the bean dip.  I’m just not hungry because I’ve been so nauseated.”  She watched as Derek’s face darkened and she reached for the dip that was in her fridge.  “But I’ll keep working on eating it, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His face relaxed and he gave her a smile.  “Sounds great.  I love you so much, Emily.”  Derek whispered walking around and giving her a soft kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too, but go back to work before you get your ass fired.”  Emily said, returning the kiss.  “I’ll be fine.”  Her phone blinked and she grabbed it, getting to her feet quickly.  “Back to work, Derek.  We have a case.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek’s heart stopped watching Emily head out of her office to talk to Penelope and Dave.  He walked down the stairs and grabbed Matt by the bicep and pulled him into the alcove.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Matt stared at the older man and looked around nervously.  “Umm, hi Derek.”  He said, confusion written on his face and in his voice.  “What can I help you with?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Turning so his back was shielding them, Derek took a deep breath.  “Emily is pregnant.  We haven’t told anyone yet because it’s early.  She’s only seven and a half weeks pregnant, but we’ve tried really really hard for this pregnancy.  I know JJ already knows, but she’s Emily’s best friend and she’s going to side with Emily with everything.  I need a man in the fight.  I need someone to watch out for Emily when she’s in the field.”  He said quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The younger man smiled and reached for his hand, shaking it strongly.  “Congrats Derek, that’s great.  Is it a secret?  Like should I be telling anyone?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t want to tell anyone until after the first trimester.  Emily is a high risk pregnancy and we don’t want to jinx it.”  He looked at Matt and exhaled loudly.  “But I can’t go on cases with you guys, so I need you to keep an eye out for her, alright?  Make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid.  Or impulsive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Matt laughed softly, a gentle smile on his lips.  “Isn’t Emily’s middle name </span>
  <em>
    <span>impulsive?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”  He asked.  “But I will do my best to keep an eye on her.”  He assured Derek.  “I know the feeling of having a pregnant wife and not being there to take care of her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Derek ran his hand over his face.  “Thanks.  Just don’t tell her that I asked you to do this.  Or that I think that she needs to be taken care of.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure.”  He looked around Derek and spotted everyone heading up to the briefing room. “I gotta go, but I’ll keep an eye on her.”  Taking the steps two by two, he slid in and listened to the briefing, nodding as Emily said that they were on their way to LA.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was thrilled for his boss and Derek that they were expecting, but he understood where Derek was coming from.  He witnessed first hand Emily’s abilities in the field, but also her impulsiveness.  Matt couldn’t help but steal a glance Emily’s way as they settled on the jet.  He knew pregnancy, hell, Kristy had been pregnant three times already and looking closely, he saw the gentle glow that usually graced pregnant women.  It suited Emily.  Smiling to himself, he focused back on the file on his tablet.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They landed and he headed off to the crime scene with Rossi, Emily staying at the precinct with Tara and Luke while JJ and Reid headed to the coroner’s office.  He was ready to tell Tara to keep an eye out on Emily, but he wasn’t ready to break that trust just yet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the end of the evening they had a preliminary profile that they had discussed with the local LEOs, but would give to the whole police department tomorrow.  They headed out for a bite to eat and a drink before heading to bed, no one noticing that Emily was without her normal glass of red wine.  The next morning they headed back to the police precinct bright and early to talk to the local police chief and his men.  They had a suspect and they hoped to have the case wrapped up quickly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily brushed her hair off her face before going in to speaking with the family of one of the victims.  She was good at that part of the job, even great.  She had good people skills and could deal with people dealing with their own trauma.  She was also great at interrogating people of interest, but that was more because she liked to see people sweat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few hours later, Luke and Rossi brought in their person of interest and left him in the interrogation room.  If this was their unsub, he was a sexual sadist with a hatred toward women in power.  It was an easy choice for Emily to make to interview the man.  She had been in this position a thousand times before.  She could play dumb if she needed, that one was always a bit harder for her.  Flirting?  That was easy.  But this one, this one she got to be herself.  Strong, powerful, and in charge.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Walking into the interrogation room, Emily leaned against the wall and looked down at the man, a look of disgust and disdain in her eyes.  He was dirt beneath her boots.  “We know you did it.  Just confess, you’re too dumb to actually hide it from us.”  She said, her snarl perfected.  She inhaled and the scent of his cologne sent her stomach rolling.  She hadn’t had very many aversions yet.  Pepperoni pizza, frying ground beef, and their cinnamon toothpaste were the only three aversions sha had, but his cologne.  It was so strong she had to take a step back to calm her stomach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was that half second step that he used against her.  He was across the room, the table flying with him, pressed against Emily, his hand around her neck.  Pinned against the wall, the table and the man pressing against her, she struggled to kick him off of her when the door flew open and Luke and Matt were in there, tossing the man aside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Panic washed over her and she exited the interrogation room quickly.  “Emily, are you okay?”  Rossi asked, laying a fatherly hand on her shoulder. </span>
  <em>
    <span> Oh she fucked up.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y-Yeah.”  She mumbled, her voice shaking.  “I’m fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Physically, she was fine at least.  Brushing her shirt, she used the motion to rest her hands for the slightest moment over her still flat abdomen.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How about you go get a drink of water and I’ll go back in with you?”  Tara suggested.  “We’ll leave Matt and Luke in the corner.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded and went and grabbed a bottle of water, taking small sips.  Once her hands stopped shaking, she rolled her shoulders and gave Tara a nod.  They had a job to do.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>“You sure you’re okay?”  JJ asked Emily softly.  They sat away from everyone else on the jet, allowing them the slightest bit of privacy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Emily nodded slowly.  “Yeah I think so.  I mean…”  She pressed the heel of her hand against her forehead before leaning back against the chair.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t your fault.  No one could have predicted he was going to do that.”  JJ sipped her coffee, her blue eyes set on her friend across from her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily’s hands fluttered over her abdomen, her eyes darting around before her hands stayed there.  “I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You gonna tell Derek?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rolling her eyes, Emily brought one of her hands up to her mouth and she chewed on her nail nervously.  “Doubt I’ll have to.”  She said her eyes landing on three of the men who were sitting behind them.  Rossi, Matt, and Reid all looked away quickly, pretending to be busy with other things.  “I’m sure Derek already knows.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ nodded, tucking her legs up under her.  “I'm surprised he hasn’t called you yet, or texted you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily’s eyebrows arched.  “He’s probably seething and stewing in the office.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t think he went home?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, even if he did, he’s back at the office now.”  Emily said with a sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And she was right.  They walked onto the BAU floor and Penelope emerged from her den with an apologetic look on her face.  Derek stormed out of her office and stood on the mezzanine, leaning on the railing, his eyes following Emily as she walked up to her office.  He was behind her, a large dark shadow.  She could feel his anger washing off of him in waves.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t my fault.”  Emily said, placing the file on her desk.  “We had a profile and I had to go in and interview him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alone?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek, I don’t need a babysitter.  How was that going to look to the unsub? That the head of the BAU, the unit chief, needed someone to watch over her?  Derek, let’s be realistic here.”  Emily sighed and leaned back against her desk.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Glowering, Derek grabbed her arm, his fingers tightening around her forearm.  “Let’s go.”  He tugged, only slowing as he felt Emily reach for her bag.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, let me grab my stuff, Derek.”  She pulled back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hand released quickly and Emily looked up, finding Rossi in the doorway, the look on his face dark and dangerous.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek, go take a walk.”  He said, his voice low so the rest of the tea couldn’t overhear.  Taking a step between them, Rossi putting his body between his and Emily’s.  “And I never, ever, want to see you grabbing Emily like that again.  Ever.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily laid her hand on Rossi’s shoulder and shook her head.  “He wasn’t hurting me, Dave.  It’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Turning, Rossi shook his head.  “He needs to calm down, Emily.  I know from experience that when your emotions are high like this, nothing good will come from it.  Let me drive you home and you two can talk after.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek shook his head and turned on his heel, storming out of the office.  He blew past his friends and out the door, taking the SUV that they drove in together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pressing her fingers to her temples, Emily sighed.  “He wasn’t going to hurt me.”  She said grabbing her bag and slinging it over her shoulder.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, belissima, but he needs to gather his thoughts, and you’re exhausted from the case.  Nothing good can come of you two fighting with your emotions high like that.  But I’ll drive you home and you two can talk.”  Rossi shrugged and followed Emily down the stairs and out to his vehicle.  Climbing in, Emily placed her bag at her feet, her jacket over the back of the seat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Dave.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shrugged and started his car.  “You pick up a few things when you’ve been married three times.”  He gave Emily a gentle smile, pulling out of the underground garage.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess so.”  She smiled, playing with her phone nervously on her lap.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They drove in silence, Rossi turning on the radio quietly.  Pulling into their driveway, he turned off the engine and gave Emily a smile.  “I’ll grab your bag.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Emily got up, reaching for her purse.  Rossi’s eyes flickered down and at his boss, before looking away.  “Emily, dear, I don't mean to be impolite but you appear to be bleeding.  It’s on your sweater.”  He watched as her eyes grew wide and her face paled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dave.  I...I need you to call Derek and JJ and tell them to meet us at the hospital.”  She said, her voice wavering despite its strength.  “I need to call the hospital.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Emily...what’s going on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sighed heavily, sitting on the front seat.  “Dave, I’m pregnant and I might be miscarrying.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Yes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>At the hospital, Derek and Emily deal with the aftermath of Emily's decision.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“What is hell? I maintain that it is the suffering of being unable to love.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>― </span>
  <b>Fyodor Dostoevsky, </b>
  <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/3393910">
    <b>The Brothers Karamazov</b>
  </a>
</p><p>
  <span>He was angry, frustrated, knowing that Emily put herself in harm's way.  Now that she was pregnant, he hoped that she would take </span>
  <em>
    <span>less</span>
  </em>
  <span> risks, not more.  Matt had texted him as they got on the plane, telling him about the situation with Emily and the unsub.  He drove back to the office and paced around Penelope’s office, muttering about risks and stupidity, angry that he couldn’t tell her </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span> he was so angry.  Penelope tried to calm him down, but he stood on the mezzanine leaning on the railing grumbling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And now, he was on his way home, still angry and frustrated, but he knew that Rossi was right.  Both of them ran on passion and they could, and probably would, say something they regretted.  His heart was still pounding as he took the long way home.  He just wanted the best for Emily and his family.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was a few blocks away when his phone rang and the car picked it up.  Dave’s voice filled the car.  “Derek, I’m with Emily.  She...she thinks that she might be miscarrying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His heart stopped and he was thankful he wasn’t on the freeway.  Slowing he pulled into his empty driveway, his hands shaking.  “She...she might be…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek, you need to get to the hospital.  She’s already called your OB, she’ll meet you there.  JJ is on the way to pick you up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Turning off the engine, he exhaled loudly, waiting until he saw headlights in the rearview mirror.  JJ hadn’t even put the car into park when he jumped in.  “We gotta go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.”  JJ said quietly, as she pulled out of the driveway and headed for the hospital.  They were normally head to Walter Reed, but Rossi had sent directions to a private hospital that was far closer.  He was silent, keenly aware of each turn that JJ made, and the soft gentle looks she was shooting his way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It could be nothing, Derek.”  She said quietly, placing a hand on his knee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She could also be miscarrying.”  He replied as JJ pulled up to the hospital and he ran out before it had even stopped.  Rossi was standing in the hallway and he grabbed Derek by the shoulder and led him into the room where Emily was.  He wasn’t there for Joy’s birth, but he had been there for James’ and Carolyn’s pregnancy and he knew how the younger man was feeling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily was on the exam table, panic thinly veiled in her eyes, her skin covered in a thin sheen of sweat.  He sat down beside her, taking her hand, covering it in kisses.  “I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shaking her head, Emily just closed her eyes and leaned back on the bed, the tears running silently down her face.  A few moments later the door opened and Addison walked in, towing an ultrasound machine.  Her smile was stiff and guarded, Derek’s heart dropping even more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The doctor worked methodically, carefully running the wand over Emily’s still flat abdomen and a smile crossed her face.  “There we go.”  She said quietly.  “There’s one heartbeat.  And there’s the other.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek released the breath he didn’t even realise he was holding.  “So they’re okay?  The babies and Emily?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Smiling, she wiped off Emily’s abdomen and nodded.  “Totally 100% okay.  Spotting happens in about 30% of pregnancies, even higher with multiples.  But if you feel pain, or heavy bleeding call me again.”  She took off her gloves and tossed them in the bin.  “Emily, your father and your...sister are waiting for you?  Should I let them in?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily’s eyebrows knitted in confusion before smiling.  “Oh...yeah...ummm...send them in.”  She tugged her shirt down and grinned as their friends walked in.  “We’re in the clear.  False alarm.  Apparently spotting is common.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rossi stood off to the side, giving Derek and Emily a gentle smile.  “So this is new.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Swinging her legs over the side, Emily nodded.  “Yeah, I’m now eight weeks and a half weeks along.  We weren’t going to tell anyone until we passed the first trimester.”  She shrugged, her cheeks blushing a soft pink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pregnancy looks good on you, Emily.”  Rossi said honestly.  “You’re glowing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek wrapped his arm around his wife and pressed a kiss on the top of her head.  “I’m just happy we’re all good.”  He whispered.  Turning to their friends, he gave them a small smile.  “Sorry about...earlier.  I…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was scared.”  Rossi filled in.  “I get it, but you grab Emily like that again, you son, you and I will have a meeting.”  Clasping Derek’s hand in a firm handshake, Derek finally pulled away wincing slightly.  The older man’s eyes narrowed and bore into him.  “Got it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pulling his hand away, Derek nodded.  “Yeah, got it.”  He muttered looking down at his wife who was smirking silently to her best friend.  He looked at JJ.  “Can you drive us home?”  He asked, still slightly scared of Rossi and what he would do to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blonde nodded.  “Sure.”  She ran her fingers through her hair.  “I am so glad that we’re off tomorrow.”  She said leading the small crew out, Rossi breaking off to go to his own car.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to finish some paperwork.”  Emily grumbled, settling in the back seat among the carseats.  “But I’ll do it at home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ sent her a serious glance in the rearview mirror.  “You better, Mama.  You’re growing a human now, you need to rest.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily grunted a non committal sound, but was quickly dozing against the window.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blonde turned to Derek and gave him a long look.  “She’s going to need rest.  I’m going to do my best at work, now Rossi that he knows, but you have to cover the home front, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Matt too.”  Derek muttered with a shrug.  “Figured I needed a man in the fight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ stared at him and shook her head before continuing.  “Alright, the three of us will do our best, but you know Emily.  I’m not taking the fall because she goes...all Emily on us, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just do your best, okay?”  He whispered softly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We will.”  JJ pulled into their driveway.  “Alright, Mama we’re here.”  She said reaching back and gently tapping Emily on the leg.  Emily blinked and gave her friend a tired smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks Jayje.”  She unbuckled herself and climbed out.  “I’ll see you on Tuesday.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, JJ shot Derek a look as he climbed out.  “Go to bed, Emily.”  She said gently.  “Growing a human is hard work.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not kidding.”  Emily leaned against Derek as they headed upstairs and she changed into an oversized shirt and was fast asleep before her head hit the pillow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek sat beside her and watched her sleep, raking her fingers through her hair.  “Goodnight, Mama.”  He whispered against her hair.  “Sleep tight.”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>He awoke early and texted Mackenzie to see if she was up for a run.  When he got the okay, he slipped on a pair of shorts and a tank top before leaving a note for Emily.  The younger woman met him in the driveway and gave him a smile.  Her hair was pulled up in a bun on the top of her head and was wearing a pair of running tights and a USMC tshirt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They started jogging before picking up their pace.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, are you pregnant yet?”  Derek asked as they hit mile one, turning to run along the walking path.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dunno.”  Mackenzie’s steps were quicker, having to keep up with Derek’s longer strides.  “I’ve been on the USS Dwight Eisenhower and then I was in Pensacola for a JAGMAN investigation and subsequent court martial.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek shook his head.  “I can’t believe you haven’t checked yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie shrugged.  “If I’m in town for longer than a day at time we will.”  She said as she gained speed.  “Boobs don’t hurt yet so I don’t think so.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughing Derek gave her a smile.  “I’m sure Taala told you that Emily is pregnant, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Mackenzie pulled ahead of Derek.  “Yep.  That’s great.  We’re both happy for you guys.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their conversation slowed as they focused on running.  Derek was a good runner, but Mackenzie was far more competitive and even if Derek was better than her, she would win just based on sheer will.  They finished, both panting and sweating in their driveways.  Mackenzie wiped her face off with her shirt and she gave Derek a wave.  “Taala is off today after her week on and I’m off today, you and Emily are welcome to come over for a meal if you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek nodded.  “I’ll ask Em.”  He said heading inside.  The house was still silent and he made his way upstairs.  His wife was still sleeping soundly and he gave her a gentle smile.  Heading to the shower, he changed and headed downstairs, leaving Emily to sleep as long as she possibly could.  It was well after 9am when she emerged from upstairs, eyes tired, face slightly flushed and hair pulled in a ponytail.  She dropped on the couch and grabbed a blanket, pulling a blanket around her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you doing, Princess?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shrugging, Emily leaned against the couch.  “I hate morning sickness.”  She mumbled.  “And my boobs hurt.  It hurts to put on a bra.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unsure of how to answer, he pressed a kiss on the top of her head.  “I can make you some ginger juice.”  He said softly.  “I’m not sure about what to do about your boobs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He went to the kitchen and made some fresh squeezed ginger juice, adding sparkling water and bringing it to Emily.  She sipped it slowly and gave him a small smile.  “I am so glad that we’re off today.”  She said wearily.  Sitting on the edge of the couch, he watched her carefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “Has it been like this the whole time?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shrugging, Emily sipped the drink and avoided his gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“EMILY!  You should’ve told me!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What could you do, Derek?”  She asked, her voice tired.  “There’s nothing that you could’ve done or can do.  It’s part of pregnancy.  Morning sickness, breast tenderness....it’s textbook pregnancy symptoms.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Derek wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly against him.  “I just wish you didn’t feel this terrible.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her laughter, soft and gentle, filled the room and she leaned against him.  “You know, labour is going to be 1000 ties worse than this, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, it won’t be that bad.”  Derek said with a shrug.  “You plan on using the drugs, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily sipped her drink silently before looking up at Derek.  “Epidural.  And I was thinking...I want to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>present</span>
  </em>
  <span> for the birth of our babies, Derek.  I don’t want to be drugged up or numb.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stopping, Derek turned so he could see her face.  “I respect your choices...but...Princess, BABIES coming out of your vagina.  Are you </span>
  <em>
    <span>sure</span>
  </em>
  <span> you don’t want to consider the epidural?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have lots of time to research, but right now I want to do things as naturally as possible.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pressing a kiss on the top of her head, he tightened his grip around her.  “Never took you for a hippie.”  He teased, lacing their fingers together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily wiggled and adjusted his grip on her so he wasn’t touching her breasts.  “Shut up.”  She laughed softly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled and kissed her temple.  “I went for a run with Mackenzie and she invited us over today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Emily tugged his hands lower, resting them on her abdomen.  “Okay.  Maybe later.  I’m still tired and emotionally drained from the past couple of days.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He loosed his grip, just draping an arm around her and grabbed the remote, passing it to her.  “Whatever you want, baby mama.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking up at him, Emily made a face.  “Do you want me to call you baby daddy?”  She retorted her eyebrows rising.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay okay, no baby mama.”  He laughed and shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I’m not </span>
  <em>
    <span>just</span>
  </em>
  <span> your baby mama.”  Emily retorted.  “I’m your wife and the love of your life.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A look crossed his face and he nuzzled his face into her hair.  “You’re right.  You’re the love of my life and my beautiful wonderful amazing wife.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She grinned up at him and sipped her drink, turning on the Amazing Race.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>By mid afternoon Emily was feeling better and headed upstairs to shower and get dressed.  Derek found her standing in front of the mirror, naked and staring at her reflection.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re beautiful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She rolled her eyes and gently pressed her hands over her abdomen.  “Thanks, but I was looking to see if there was any change.  Maybe it’s a bit...firmer?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your boobs are bigger.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily sighed and nodded.  “Yeah, I know.  I’m gonna have to get some new bras right away.  Just the first of many things I’ll have to buy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you’ll look beautiful in all of them.”  Kneeling down, Derek pressed a few soft kisses on her abdomen.  “You’re growing our little babies in there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughing, Emily gently scratched at his scalp as he pressed kisses along her belly.  “You are such a nerd.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He got to his feet and wrapped his arms around her.  “I love you too, Princess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wincing, Emily slid his hands down lower and met his gaze in the mirror.  “I told you, my boobs are killing me.  So right now you can look but don’t touch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek nodded and pressed a kiss to her shoulder.  “Alright, now let’s get dressed.  I want to talk to Mackenzie about some baby stuff.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Control</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The team learns how hard it can be to control Emily Prentiss.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“For this child, I prayed and the Lord has granted the desires of my heart.” – 1 Samuel 1:27</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Emily should’ve been an actress.  She could be a social chameleon, changing her personality when she needed to.  It was easy for her to change from pining temptress to hard cop to serious boss.  Usually at least.  But today she found herself pacing around attempting to calm herself.  “We have now </span>
  <em>
    <span>less</span>
  </em>
  <span> than 24- hours because you decided to hold that information from us.”  She told the parents of Chase Reamers, the missing child.  She was ready to unleash another torrid of comments when she felt a soft touch at her elbow.  Matt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Emily, go take a break.”  He said, his voice soft and gentle.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her hands were fisted at her side and she looked up at Matt who just nodded.  Releasing the breath she didn’t even realise she was holding, Emily turned and walked out of the precinct.  They were just outside of Missoula Montana and the air was crisp and clean.  Sitting down on the bench, she leaned forward, her elbows on her knees as she stared out into the mountains.  After a few minutes she heard footsteps and felt someone sit beside her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek told you, didn’t he?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Matt leaned back on the bench and nodded.  “Yeah, he did.  But only because he’s worried about you and he wanted me to keep an eye out for you.”  He said quietly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grunting softly, Emily kept her eyes on the mountains in front of her.  “Does it get easier?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughing softly, Matt nodded.  “I assume so.  Right now your body is flooded with every hormone possible.  And this is your first case with a child.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily sat up and raked her fingers through her hair and stayed silent.  After a few moments she sighed.  “I just didn’t think it would be this </span>
  <em>
    <span>hard</span>
  </em>
  <span> or that I would react like this.”  She gave her subordinate a tight lipped smile.  “Is it that obvious that I’m pregnant?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.  Well, besides the pregnancy glow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shot him a glare that he deflected with a nonchalant shrug and a smile.  “Four kids, three pregnancies, remember?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So the pregnancy glow is real?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For some women more than others.  But I have to say, you are glowing Emily.”  Getting to his feet, Matt extended a helping hand.  He sized her up before taking a leap of faith and wrapping her into his arms in a gentle hug.  “If you or Derek need anything, please call me and Kristy, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taken aback momentarily, Emily gently returned the hug.  He tightened it gently and held her for a few moments before pulling away.  Wiping her eyes, Emily gave him a watery smile.  “Damn you for making me cry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Matt laughed softly and gave a shy shrug.  “Sorry.  You okay, though?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Emily wiped her face with her hands carefully.  “Yeah, I’m okay.  I’m just going to take a few more minutes before I head back inside.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure thing.”  He jogged inside, but tossed a look over his shoulder.  Emily stood, legs shoulder width apart, her hands lax beside her and her head facing the sky, eyes closed.  With the backdrop of the mountains and the sun washing over her, she was radiant.  Matt smiled and headed inside shutting the door behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is Emily okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Matt looked over at Reid and smiled.  “Yeah, she needed a few minutes to compose herself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The younger man frowned and ran his fingers through his mop of hair.  “We have dealt with many cases to do with children and this is the first time Emily has reacted like this.  I wonder what the change is?”  He mused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shrugging, Matt sat down and looked at the geographical profile, refusing to speak.  Reid stared at him for a few seconds before returning his shrug and examining the board in front of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few hours later they all strapped on their kevlar vests, Emily biting back a groan as it weighed heavily on her chest.  She felt three pairs of eyes on her and she gave a curt headshake.  She needed to be there.  Climbing into the SUV with Rossi at the wheel, Emily held onto the handle as they ripped out of the parking heading towards an abandoned cabin.  Matt and Tara went through the front, Luke, Reid, and Rossi covered the immense stretch of land that was the backyard, while JJ and Emily headed around the building to the backdoor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t do anything stupid.”  JJ mumbled under her breath as they reached the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily glared at her before listening for Matt’s voice and the telltale sign of the door being kicked down.  She did the same, both of them their guns drawn as they entered the building.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Prentiss, JJ, he’s coming your way.”  Tara’s voice crackled in their earpieces and Emily sprung into action before JJ could stop her.  The unsub tore around the corner and Emily dropped her center of gravity and lunged at him, the two of them falling to the floor with a loud thud.  With her knee in his back, Emily wrestled his arms around and was able to clip the handcuffs on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go...help Lewis and Simmons with...the kids.”  She spit out, trying to distract herself from the pain.  The unsub wriggled under her and Emily stayed on him until Luke, Rossi, and Spencer came through the back door.  Rossi stared at her before nodding to Luke to handle the unsub.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?”  He questioned, his hands on his hips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily stood up, her legs shaky and bolted for the door.  Her whole body hurt, the adrenaline flowing through it did nothing to heal the pain.  The pain mixed with the hormones created the unmistakable feeling of nausea and she lurched forward emptying the contents of her stomach on the grass.  She felt a gentle arm around her that she knew to be JJ and the other woman’s hand was rubbing small circles on her back.  “It’s okay.”  She whispered softly until Emily had finished throwing up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave came with a bottle of water and passed it to Emily before stalking off in silence.  JJ stayed with Emily and gave her a withering look.  “That was stupid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The older of the two women stayed silent as she took a tentative sip of the water and swished it around in her mouth before spitting it on the grass.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek is going to kill you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shooting a glare JJ’s way, Emily shrugged off her vest, tears in her eyes.  “Stop, JJ.”  She ordered, her voice having the strength she didn’t.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ sighed and helped Emily to a fully standing position.  “Are you hurt?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My breasts feel like they’re about to explode.”  Emily mumbled as she wiped her hands on her jeans.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a few long seconds of silence, JJ wrapped her arm around her friend’s waist and they walked towards the SUVs.  “You’re a dumbass, you know that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily laughed gingerly and nodded.  “Yeah, I do.”  JJ helped Emily into the back of the SUV and climbed in, unsurprised to find Rossi at the wheel.  Matt climbed in the passenger’s side and looked at the other two agents and the three exchanged a silent conversation before looking back at Emily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No more takedowns.”  Rossi said stiffly.  “Your hubby doesn’t work for us anymore, so let one of the other assclowns do it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Assclown?”  Matt mumbled before looking at Emily over the back of his seat.  “Regardless of who’s an assclown and who’s not, you’re gonna have to be more careful.  I’m not going to tell you what to do, but you have to worry about more than just you, Prentiss.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily looked at JJ and raised her eyebrows.  “And what about you, Jayje?  These two have said their piece.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gently JJ placed her hands on Emily’s almost flat abdomen and stayed silent for a few long moments before looking up.  “Just be careful, okay?  You have a lot to be worried about now, it’s not just you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The silence enveloped them, JJ’s hand still on Emily’s abdomen as they drove to the airstrip.  Finally in the plane, JJ quietly went and got Emily an ice pack from the freezer and she sat back down beside her best friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This should help.”  She said softly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily gave her a pained smile and pressed the ice pack to her breast, wincing slightly.  She was glad that JJ, Rossi, and Matt all chose to sit around her, shielding her from prying eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, Mama.  You can sleep.”  JJ draped a blanket over Emily and gave her a smile.  “We’ll keep watch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Emily closed her eyes and tried to relax against the seat.  The three other agents exchanged glances.  It was going to be harder than they expected to keep one Emily Prentiss in control.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She slept restlessly before waking at landing.  Emily rubbed her eyes and gave the other three a tight smile.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you drive home, Emily?”  Matt asked politely as the jet touched down on the tarmac.  Emily gave the man a tight lipped smile and shook her head.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be fine, but thanks, Matt.”  She waited for the plane to clear and she grabbed her bag and climbed into her car.  She drove back home, her head throbbing and her chest aching.  Derek was up when she got in, a gentle look on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Matt called you?”  She whispered, dropping her go bag in the entrance.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rossi.”  He replied gently wrapping his arms around her.  “I have a bath drawn.”  Derek was trying to keep his emotions under control knowing that it would set Emily off further.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded silently and inhaled deeply, just trying to keep herself emotionally stable, her hands fisting in his shirt.  “Will you come with me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hand raked through her hair, Derek nodded, pressing a kiss on the top of her head.  “Of course, Princess.”  He let her hold onto him, a drowning woman to a lifepreserver, before they headed up to the washroom.  He helped Emily strip off her clothes and he tossed them in the laundry hamper before doing the same with his own.  Climbing in first, Derek held his arms out for Emily to climb in.  Her baby bump was obvious, still small but he couldn’t take his eyes off of it.  Lowering herself into his waiting arms, Derek wrapped his arms around her midsection and just held her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay?  Like...not in a stupid amount of pain?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Define stupid amount of pain.”  Emily retorted, sadness in her voice.  “My chest hurts.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Usually happens when </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> try to football tackle an unsub.”  He replied, his fingers softly massaging her hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You tackle unsubs all the time.  So do Alvez and Simmons.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t have breasts.”  He answered.  “And aren’t pregnant.  With twins.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew she was on the verge of crying when her breath caught with a hitch.  “Hey hey, I’m just happy you’re alright.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily sniffled and shook her head.  “But...what if that was </span>
  <em>
    <span>our</span>
  </em>
  <span> baby, Derek?  What if it was our little boy or girl that was abducted?  Went missing?  What was I supposed to do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Derek pressed a few soft kisses to Emily’s shoulder.  “That will never happen, Em.  Ever.  Our babies will be safe because we’re going to love them forever.  They will have so many strong role models to watch over them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tears ran down her cheeks and Derek softly held her in the warm water, his hands massaging her lightly.  “You’re going to be the best mother, Emily.  Our babies will have the best life.  We’re going to give them the best life.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded softly, gasping slightly as Derek’s hands landed on her still sore breasts.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay.”  Interlacing their fingers, she pulled them down to her abdomen as the hot water swirled around them.  Once it started to turn tepid, they climbed out, Derek wrapping her in the fluffiest towel they had and carried her to their room.  He dried her gently and helped her into her pair of fluffy unicorn pyjamas pants.  She wore them when she wasn’t feeling well and he knew this was one of those times.  Grabbing a shirt from his dresser, he gently pulled it over her.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is this okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Emily cuddled into their mattress and pulled the heavy duvet over herself.  “It’s perfect.  Come into bed with me.”  She requested softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tugged on a clean pair of boxer briefs and climbed into bed with his wife.  “Can you promise me you’ll try to be careful out there?  Because if everyone is looking out for you because they’re scared of what you’re going to do, they’re going to fuck up and someone will die, Emily.”  He whispered.  “You’re the BAU unit chief, they’re always going to look out for you.  But you have to start looking out for yourself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.  I promise you I’ll try.”  She whispered, cuddling into his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s all I ask for.”  Derek pressed a few soft kisses on her head.  “Now sleep, Princess.  You’re growing two other lives in there.  It’s a lot of work.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded and gave a soft smile.  “It is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you, Princess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too, Derek.”  Emily whispered, just happy that they made it through another day without a fight or injury or worse.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Mama</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hitting 13 weeks, Derek and Emily finally tell the rest of the team.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is my favourite chapter I've ever written.  I swear.<br/>Oh, and things will be coming more slowly because I'm taking a masters class that is terrible.  But I'll try.  Just...bother me to update more, okay?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know, when it works, love is pretty amazing. It's not overrated. There's a reason for all those songs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>― </span>
  <b>Sarah Dessen, </b>
  <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/132402">
    <b>This Lullaby</b>
  </a>
</p><p>
  <span>They made it to 13 weeks.  The weeks seemed to </span>
  <em>
    <span>crawl </span>
  </em>
  <span>by but today was the magic date.  No spotting since that terrifying night and if you looked closely, you could clearly see the outline of a baby bump.  Emily kept it well hidden under blazers and flowing tops, but her pants were getting harder and harder to button and she for one, was happy to tell people so they would stop</span>
  <em>
    <span> staring</span>
  </em>
  <span> at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek came up behind her, placing his hands on her bump.  “Your baby bump is adorable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looping an elastic through the buttonhole, Emily closed her pants the best she could and looked up at Derek.  “I’m going to need maternity clothes sooner rather than later.”  She said with a small shrug before turning and draping her arms over his shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good.”  He peppered kisses on her face.  “That means our babies are healthy and growing.”  Derek smiled against her kiss and eventually pulled away.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily smiled and pulled a red top on over her maternity bra and smoothed it, finally adding a black blazer.  She did her hair and makeup before heading downstairs.  Derek had her tea ready and a bagel with cream cheese and a small container of cut up fruit.  He shrugged and grabbed his coffee and half a bagel as they walked out to his SUV.  Climbing in, Emily took a bite of the bagel as he started to head into work.  They could host a big reveal party, but with a lot of the team already knowing, it would just be easier to tell everyone at work.  They could worry about a party later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ sat at her desk, sipping her coffee and hoping to cover her smirk as she listened to Spencer, Luke, Penelope, and Tara discuss Emily’s “emergency meeting.”  She kept her mouth shut and smiled as she watched her boss walk through the doors, her boots clicking on the floor, Derek on her heels.  Pregnancy suited Emily.  Her skin glowed softly, her hair dark and flowing.  Her face had filled out slightly, the blazers long enough to hide the small swelling around her midsection.  “Well you guys won’t have to suspect any longer.”  She said getting to her feet, heading up to the conference room where Derek was waving them in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once everyone was settled, Derek placed his hand on the small of Emily’s back, rubbing in small circles as he silently supported her.  Taking a deep breath, Emily looked at her team.  “I’m pregnant.”  She said softly, her dark eyes washing over her team.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their reaction was synchronous and instantaneous.  Everyone was on their feet congratulating them, hugging, smiling.  JJ stood back and gave Emily a smile and once the crowd thinned.  She walked over and hooked her thumb in Emily’s belt loop, tugging on it softly.  “Congrats again, Mama.”  She said with a smirk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily blushed and tugged her pants up.  “Yeah, I need some new pants.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Belly bands.  I’ll search for mine and you can have them.”  She shrugged and gave her a smile.  “Saves on buying new pants constantly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tara walked over and looked at Emily, shaking her head slightly.  “I can’t wait to spoil this little BAU royalty.”  She said with a terribly unlike Tara squeal.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“DEREK MORGAN YOU ARE HAVING TWINS!?”  Penelope’s voice broke through the conversation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily blushed and her hand fluttered down to her abdomen and she gave Tara a smile.  “These little BAU royalty.”  She corrected.  “And no, we’re not sure what we’re having yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were both thankful that the call for a case didn’t come until later that afternoon and they spent most of the morning chatting.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they finally did get the call, Derek headed back down to his floor, but not before placing a few gentle kisses on Emily’s lips before leaving her work.  Now that the team knew he was positive they would all keep an eye out on Emily the same way that they all kept an eye out on JJ and Kate when they were pregnant.  He knew it was different since Emily was the boss, but he trusted the team, his family, with his life.  And hers.  And their babies’.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the jet, Emily rubbed her belly idly as she flipped through the file.  Looking up, she gave Reid a smile as she felt his eyes on her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Reid?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You and Derek did a good job of hiding your pregnancy.”  He said seriously.  “But I am really happy that you two...that you’re pregnant.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking up, Emily smiled.  “Thanks.  And we’re happy too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The seat beside her dipped and JJ sat down, tucking one leg under herself.  “How’re you feeling, Mama?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shrugged and closed the file in front of her.  “Pretty good.”  She said with a smile.  “Better than earlier in the pregnancy.  Not as sick, I have more energy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Welcome to the second trimester.”  JJ commented with a smirk.  She reached out, her hand hovering over Emily’s abdomen, waiting until the older woman gave permission.  When Emily nodded, JJ gently laid her hand on the brunette’s bump and grinned.  “You’re so big already.”  She said happily.  “I can’t wait until later when you’re all round and waddly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rolling her eyes, Emily pulled up her pants slightly.  “Derek said that too.  I guess I’ll be looking for maternity clothes sooner rather than later.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ pulled her hand off and shrugged.  “Come shopping in my closet first.  I’ve got lots that would probably fit you.  You’re not that much taller than me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reid eventually got up and left, obviously uncomfortable with the pregnancy talk, sitting down across from Luke and the two of them shot worried glances Emily's way.  Tara took Reid’s vacated space and passed a gingerale to her boss and gave her a smile, her eyes drifting down towards Emily’s stomach.  Sighing, Emily lifted her hands slightly.  “Go ahead.”  She said with a small smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tara gave a small squeal and reached out, pressing the flat of her hand to Emily’s bump.  “I can’t believe none of us knew that you were pregnant.  You’re absolutely glowing.”  She said slowly, pulling her hand back.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So I’ve been told.”  Twisting her hair up on the top of her head, Emily let it fall back over her shoulders.  “Guess it’s something I need to get used to hearing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s true.”  Tara leaned back and smiled, though her eyes narrowed at JJ.  “You knew didn’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blonde shrugged.  “I knew before Emily did.”  She laughed.  “I’ve been through it twice.before and I knew the symptoms.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And Matt knew.”  Emily supplied.  “He figured that JJ would side with me and he wanted someone on his side.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I knew.”  Dave sat down beside Tara and gave the women a smile.  “Though mine was out of necessity.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily ran her hand over her face.  “But we didn’t want to get too excited until after the danger point.  I mean, something could still happen of course, but most of the danger is behind us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I get it.”  Tara said with a shrug.  “Regardless you two are gonna make hella cute babies.  Like with yours and Derek’s smiles and eyes and dimples.  I don’t envy you guys when they hit high school.”  She said with a smirk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I have to HAVE them first before we think about high school.”  She shook her head laughing.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The plane filled with, for the first time in a long time, happy chatter before Emily directed their attention back to the case in front of them.  Her hand rested protectively over her abdomen.  For someone who didn’t like change, things were changing at an astronomical rate for both Emily and Derek.  They weren’t the first two people anyone would point out as domestic types, so the change in them was huge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her phone buzzed and she glanced down at it.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t do anything stupid.  I love you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled and sent a quick text back.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Won’t.  Love you too.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, let’s look at these case files and start to figure out a preliminary profile.”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>She wasn’t going to stay behind, not until she physically couldn’t go anymore.  Strapping on the vest, she looked at Rossi.  “Luke, you go in the front with JJ and Reid.  Dave, take the back with Matt and Tara.”  She nodded and stayed back, her earpiece firmly in place.  Watching Luke kick down the front door, she sighed, desperately wanting to be out there with her team but she knew she couldn’t.  When they brought in the unsub, Emily went to speak to the latest victim who they were able to save.  While it was hard for her to not be out in the field with the team she knew that she had to be selfish right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the plane, Emily glanced down at her phone seeing a few messages from Derek.  She read through them, tucking one of her legs underneath herself.  It sounded like he was having a terrible day working on a terrible case and he would be out for the next couple of days.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tara looked at Emily, her eyebrows raised.  “You okay, Mama?”  The women on the team had picked up on JJ’s new nickname for Emily and used it gleefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m fine.  Derek is apparently on a case in Maine so he’ll be gone for the next few days.  It sounds like a bad one.  Serial bomber.”  Emily replied to Derek before looking back at Tara.  “It would be so much easier if we had </span>
  <em>
    <span>normal</span>
  </em>
  <span> jobs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It would be, but you both would be bored.”  Tara said with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A small smile flickered across Emily’s face and she nodded.  “That is probably true.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, if your hubby won’t be home, how about we have a ladies sleepover?”  Tara suggested.  “See if Will is working and I’m sure we can convince PG.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yawning, Emily leaned against the seat.  “I probably won’t be much company.”  She admitted with a shrug.  “Not all my energy is back yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tara glanced over at JJ and grabbed her arm as she walked by.  “Is Will off?  Girls night?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blonde curled up on the large seat across from Emily and shrugged.  “Sure.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily swallowed back a yawn and nodded.  “Okay okay, let PG know and we’ll have a girls night.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ smiled and tossed a pillow gently at her boss.  “Go lie down, Emily.  No one is going to think any less of you if you actually sleep.”  She said gently.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Getting to her feet, Emily walked over to where the long couch was and laid down on it, smiling as she felt a blanket draped over her and she quickly dozed off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tara and JJ exchanged glances as they watched Rossi carefully tuck in Emily before settling down beside the blonde.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Papa Rossi.”  Tara teased raising her glass of scotch to the older man who gave a low non committal growl.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Emily is...she’s probably just as much my daughter as Joy is.  I couldn’t be there when Joy was pregnant so least I can do is be there for Emily.  And Derek.”  He said swirling his drink.  “We all have to do our part, looking out for them I mean.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, the two women looked over at their boss who was now sleeping soundly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek told me the pregnancy is high risk.”  Matt said quietly, sliding into the empty seat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ nodded.  “Age, plus the scarring from the incident with Doyle.”  She whispered, stealing a glance at Emily who was still sleeping.  “And any pregnancy where extra hormones are involved create a higher risk environment.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And Derek told me that Emily is slightly anemic.”  Rossi whispered.  “So, without smothering her, we need to make sure that she eats healthy, gets her sleep, and isn’t too stressed.”  He looked over his shoulder at Spencer and Luke and shook his head slightly.  “I’ll talk to the two clowns.”  Turning back to the other three, he looked at Tara and JJ.  “If you guys do have a girls night, please make sure it’s low key.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure thing Papa Rossi.”  Tara replied.  The older man glared at her but chose to say nothing.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Since they were able to leave quite early, the small plane touched down during daylight.  Emily awoke slowly, rubbing her eyes.  She looked around and spotted Luke shouldering her go bag.  She tossed the blanket aside and stood up, following the rest of the team.  Catching up to Luke, she reached out for her bag.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah.”  Luke replied, shaking his head.  “I got it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily frowned and looked around at the group who were walking across the tarmac.  Tara put her arm around Emily’s slight shoulders and gave her a smile.  “Can I give you a ride home?  I have my go bag and we can order food in and hang out and gossip.”  JJ flanked her other side and wrapped her arm around Emily’s waist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will’s gonna watch the boys tonight, so I’m in too.  Movies and popcorn?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The brunette looked between her friends.  “You guys don’t have to do this.”  She said softly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do what?  Take care of the team Mama?”  JJ retorted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily was fiercely independent and it took years for Derek to break down her walls.  She hated being taken care of, being coddled and babied.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re sure you will, but Papa Rossi offered to come over and make us supper, and we couldn’t pass that up and we know you wouldn’t either.”  Tara reasoned.  “Just shut up and let us be nice to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rolling her eyes, Emily followed Tara to her vehicle and waited for Luke to put her bag in the trunk.  “Okay, let’s go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tara laughed and pulled out of the underground parking.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. Casseroles</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The girls hang out at Derek and Emily's for a slumber party.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“You always gain love by giving love.” Reese Witherspoon</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily went upstairs to change and returned wearing a pair of soft well worn cotton pants and a Bears Tshirt that was obviously Derek’s.  Her hair was up in a loose bun, her face free of makeup.  The three other women were sprawled out on the couch, Netflix up on the screen.  They were already changed in far more relaxed clothes chatting softly amongst themselves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Mama.”  Penelope said with a smile.  “Come sit beside me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dropping down beside her friend, Emily leaned against her as Penelope pressed her hand on her bump.  “You are one of the cutest pregnant ladies I’ve ever seen.”  She said with a giddy smile.  “How are you feeling?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.  Tired, but morning sickness is less and less.”  Emily put her feet up on the ottoman and rubbed the underside of her small bump.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Any movement yet?”  Tara asked as she watched Emily and Penelope.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”  Emily shrugged.  “It could be up until the 20th week or so before I feel anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Or sooner.”  JJ replied.  “With twins, I’m sure things are going to go quicker.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A loud knock at the door made the group jump and JJ went to let Rossi in.  The older man grinned and waved at the women heading to the kitchen.  “Chicken Piccata for my lovely ladies!”  He called out as he dropped the iron fish into the sauce.  It was something he had ordered a few months ago on a whim and now he was happy that he was finally able to use it.  The meal was easy for the man and he made enough for the four women.  Boiling in the pasta, he leaned against the counter watching the women that he considered his daughters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon their meal was ready and Rossi carefully cleaned up and left the small iron fish in the cupboard and sent a quick text to Derek to explain it to him.  Dishing up the meals, he dropped a kiss on Emily’s hair before leaving the women alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As much as Emily protested about having everyone over to “look after her” and that she was fully capable of being alone, it was nice to have people with her without Derek.  They weren’t co-dependent by any means, but with her hormones everywhere, it was nice to not be alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why am I crying?”  Emily mumbled wiping her face with the collar of Derek’s shirt.  They were watching Penelope’s newest obsession, Umbrella Academy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hormones.”  The other three women replied with shrugs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m a hormone casserole.”  Emily complained dramatically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ wrapped her arm around her friend and leaned against her shoulder.  “I can only imagine, I was hormone soup with both Henry and Micahel and you have two in there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily sniffled and shook her head.  “This is ridiculous.”  She muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And it will only get worse, Mama.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t tell me that.”  Emily whined, tossing herself back on the cushions.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The other three women laughed softly as Emily wiped her tears, talking about poor Vanya and 5.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Derek laid on the bed in a small bed and breakfast just outside of Bangor, Maine.  They were on the search for a serial bomber, one that had already bombed four buildings, killing two people.  The problem about being the team leader, was that he was the one that was in the crosshairs if things went wrong.  Sighing, he rolled over and grabbed his phone.  He needed to talk to his wife.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Facetiming her, he was prepared for her beautiful face to fill the screen.  Instead he was greeted by Penelope who gave him a wide smile.  “Hi Chocolate Thunder.”  She said happily.  “JJ, Tara, and I are here keeping your wife company.”  She explained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek smiled and leaned back against the bed.  “Hey baby girl.  Is she okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s fine.  Here, you can talk to her yourself.”  Penelope tossed the phone at Emily who got up and walked away from the group.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He visibly relaxed as Emily’s face came on the screen.  She went out back and sat down on the outdoor furniture.  “Hey yourself, Princess.”  Reaching out, Derek gently ran his fingertips over the screen.  “How are you doing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m good.”  Emily dabbed the corners of her eyes with the shirt she was wearing and shrugged.  “A giant hormone casserole, but I’m fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish I was there.”  His large thumb ran over the screen and he sighed.  “I miss you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shook her head and stared up at the sky forcing herself not to cry.  “Derek, please stop.”  She whispered, a tear rolling down her cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Princess....what’s wrong?”  He sat up instantly, panic written all over his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The HORMONES!  I.  Can’t.  Stop.  CRYING!”  Emily wiped her eyes quickly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughing softly, Derek leaned back against the headboard.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek Morgan!  Stop laughing!  It’s not FUNNY!”  Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she put down the phone to wipe her eyes and face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, Princess.”  He waited until Emily’s face filled the screen and he gave her a gentle smile.  “I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too, Jerkface.”  Emily mumbled curling up on the chair.  “How’s the case?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shaking his head, Derek gave her a smile.  “No shop talk.  How’s my Princess and my little jelly beans?”  He asked softly.  “Any changes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A blush filled her cheeks and Emily rolled her eyes.  “Derek, it’s been less than 18 hours.”  Glancing over her shoulder, she saw her three friends staring at her through the window.  “Okay, we should go before the three stooges jump through the window at us.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright.  I love you so much Princess.  And I love our butter beans too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arching her eyebrows, Emily looked at her husband through the screen.  “Are you trying every nickname you can think of for the babies?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”  Derek nodded.  “Pull up your shirt.  I want to say goodbye to them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.  Derek.  It’s embarrassing.”  Emily whined.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Princess....”  He batted his eyes at his wife, his lower lip quivering slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Growling under her breath, Emily lifted her shirt and lowered the phone to her abdomen.  She refused to look at her friends but she could hear them.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey babies.  You be good to your Mommy, okay?  Daddy loves you to the moon and back my little nuggets.”  Derek grinned and reached out, his fingers tracing over her bump on the screen.  “Okay, you can pull me up again.”  Emily’s face was red and he gave her a smile.  “I love you, Emily.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you too.”  Emily muttered before pressing the red button.  Turning, she saw her three friends in the window.  She sighed, and straightened her shirt.  Once she headed in and sat down, her cheeks burning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tara cuddled up next to Emily and waited for her to look at her.  “Was Derek wishing the babies good night?”  She asked with a teasing lilt to her voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”  Emily mumbled, looking away and tugging her shirt down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Woman...do you think he would impregnate all of us?  Like, what a guy.”  Tara mused, a grin plastered on her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly Emily looked at Tara and blinked.  “No.  No he will not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughter filled the house again and Emily was thankful that she had friends that were willing to spend the weekend with her being hormone soup.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They split off, Penelope and Tara heading to the spare rooms while JJ and Emily headed to the master bedroom.  Emily changed into an oversized shirt and underwear and climbed into her side.  JJ emerged from the washroom wearing shorts and a tank top and crawled into the other side.  Emily turned the light off and sighed.  JJ rolled over and gave her a small smile.  “Princess,”  She said, her voice low mimicking Derek’s.  “Do you want me to cuddle you to sleep?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up JJ.”  Emily said through laughter.  The blonde wrapped her arms around her best friend and rested her chin on her shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That better?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Emily closed her eyes.  JJ’s arms were shorter, smaller, slighter than Derek’s, her hold not as strong, but it was better than being alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.  Thanks, Jayje.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Welcome, Mama.  Now go to sleep.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was early when Emily awoke and she crawled out of bed and took her files and headed outside.  She still had work to do. With a sigh, she pulled her hair up and started to rifle through the papers.  With her tablet, she was able to sign off on a bunch of different reports;  The sun had barely breached the horizon and filled the yard with a soft glow.  She had been able to finish almost all of the files before she heard the door open.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mama…”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily glanced over her shoulder and gave JJ a shrug.  “Work doesn’t stop even if you’re pregnant.”  She said with a smile.  Putting everything back in the folder, Emily signed a few things before closing the tablet.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ curled up in the chair across from her and shrugged.  “I know, but you have to be careful, you need to make sure you get lots of rest.”  She countered.  “Tara and PG are up, they’re making a mess in your kitchen.  I THINK they’re trying to make breakfast.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Emily got to her feet and gathered her stuff and headed inside.  Penelope shoved a smoothie into her hand and motioned to the chair.  “Sit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not a dog.”  Emily mumbled but sat down and took a tentative sip of the smoothie.  “What’s in it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Orange, peach, spinach, and yogurt.”  Tara replied.  “High in folic acid, iron, and calcium.  Just what a Mama needs to grow some healthy babies.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Emily sucked on the straw and took a bigger sip.  “Okay, it’s good.”  She said watching the others cook.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And French Toast with mixed berries.  Eggs, complex carbs since you only have sprouted wheat bread, and berries.  All good for you.”  Penelope waved the spatula at her.  “We’ve gotta keep you healthy so those babies can be healthy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily smiled and watched as Penelope and Tara cooked and JJ poured herself a steaming cup of coffee.  The blonde sat down and gave Emily a smile.  “We’re not going to stop, you know.”  She said softly.  “Caring about you, and Derek and your babies.  We’re all going to be here, so you need to stop resisting, stop wanting to do everything your damn self and let us all in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brushing her hair off her face, Emily looked down at the smoothie in her hands.  “We still haven’t told my mom or Derek’s mom yet.”  She said softly.  “My mom is in town on Saturday and we’re inviting Derek’s mom and sisters here for the week after.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s great.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chewing on the inside of her cheek, Emily shrugged and kept her eyes downcast.  The other three women exchanged worried glances and Tara went and turned off the stove, sitting down across from Emily, JJ and Penelope flanking her sides. “What if they’re not happy that we're expecting?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Penelope took the smoothie and placed it on the table before grabbing Emily’s hands.  “Fran is going to be over the moon, Mama.  You know that. </span>
  <span> She’s been after Derek for </span>
  <em>
    <span>years</span>
  </em>
  <span> about giving her grandbabies.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When was the last time you spoke to your mom?”  Tara asked gently, quickly falling into therapist mode.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The wedding.”  Emily mumbled.  Her fingers twitched in Tara’s grip but the taller woman held tight.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you think that your mother isn’t going to be happy that you’re expecting?”  Tara sighed and held her friend’s hands tightly.  “Even if she isn’t happy, you don’t need her acceptance.  You have a loving caring husband.  You have a job that you are amazing at.  You have a group of friends that will support you, okay?  Tell your mom and if she doesn’t want to be a part of this important time in yours and Derek’s lives then that’s on her, not on you, okay?”  Releasing Emily’s hands, she gave her a gentle smile.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily coughed and used the collar of her shirt to wipe her eyes.  Penelope broke the silence and went back to the stove.  “Well, let me finish the French toast and we can eat.”  She said turning the appliance back on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon the table was full of French toast and fresh berries and some whipped cream.  “Let’s fatten you up.”  Penelope teased as she put two slices on Emily’s plate.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I doubt that will be a problem.”  Emily said with a shy smile.  “There are two of them, and have you seen Derek?  These kids are gonna run out of room quickly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ leaned over and pressed her hand to Emily’s abdomen.  “Don’t you two grow too much too quickly, okay?  You guys have to get big and strong before you can come out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily rolled her eyes and took a bite of the French toast.  Tara was right, even if her mother didn’t agree with them starting a family, she had an amazing family no matter what.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. Woman in Power</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Derek and Emily go to Ambassador Prentiss' fundraiser together.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>Healing can only happen when people are willing to shift.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily stood in front of the mirror and met Derek’s gaze in their reflections.  It was a floor length black gown with a back cut so low Derek could see the gentle curve of her ass.  It had long sleeves made out of a sheer material.  Classy, with just enough skin to be sexy.  She smiled and held up a necklace and placed it around her neck.  He gently did up the clasp and kissed her neck.  The dress was tighter than it had been before over her baby bump that seemed to be growing every day along with her breasts.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You look beautiful.”  He whispered, taking a step back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I look presentable.  I still have to put on my makeup.”  Emily teased.  Since it was a fundraiser for her mother, it was black tie only and thankfully Rossi had some tuxedos that he hadn’t gotten fitted yet.  He happily gave one to Derek and the name of his tailor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stepping away, Emily headed to the washroom to let her hair that had been in rollers down and finish her makeup.  Derek put on his bow tie and tied it before staring at himself in their full length mirror.  He thought he looked ridiculous, but it was for Emily so that was all that mattered.  Sitting down on their bed, he pulled on the shiny shoes they had purchased.  When Emily finally emerged from the washroom, he gave her a wide smile.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You, Princess, you are drop dead gorgeous.”  He said, shaking his head.  “It should be illegal to look that good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glowing, right?”  She teased.  After weeks, she was used to hearing that comment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek grinned and nodded.  “Yes, you’re glowing.  But you’re also just beautiful.”  He said never breaking eye contact with her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do I look too pregnant in this dress?”  Emily asked, turning and looking at herself in the mirror.  The dark colour generally hid the baby bump well.  It was tighter than it had been when she first bought it, but it was wearable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Coming up from behind her, Derek wrapped his arms around her waist.  “You </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> pregnant, sweetheart.  With twins nonetheless.  But to answer your question. No it’s not super obvious.”  His hands trailed down her waist and rested on her baby bump.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily rested her hands over Derek’s and met his gaze in the mirror.  “I’m not ashamed, if that’s what you’re thinking.”  She whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you aren’t.”  Derek smiled and pressed his lips to her shoulder.  “You just want to be able to tell your mom without hundreds of people asking questions.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stayed like that for a while, their arms around each other just enjoying the silence in their lives for the first time in a really long time.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You look like a delicious James Bond.”  Emily teased as she went and put on her heels. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will you be my Bond girl?”  He retorted watching as Emily went and grabbed her bag. He grabbed the tux jacket and pulled it on over his broad shoulders. they would have to thank Rossi for the tuxedo later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her dark eyes danced and she gave him a wide grin.  “Always.  Now let’s go before we’re late.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Derek and Emily Morgan.”  Emily repeated, frustration written across his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The security detail frowned and read his list again.  “I have…an Agent Derek Morgan and Emily Prentiss.”  He said finally, scanning through the list of names.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily growled and rolled her eyes.  “Yes, that would be us.  But it’s Emily Morgan, can you make a note.”  It wasn’t a request.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They walked in, Derek’s hand tightening around her waist.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe her.”  Emily mumbled, shrugging off her coat and giving it to the man running the coat check.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pressing his lips to the top of her softly curled hair, Derek sighed.  “It’s fine, Em.  She probably just forgot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes rolled and she gritted her teeth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Blood pressure.”  He warned in her ear before straightening up and rubbing the small of her back.  They both knew that was going to be a warning he would be using over and over during the pregnancy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They entered the large room and were immediately handed two glasses of champagne.  Emily brought the glass up to her lips before giving the waiter a smile.  As he walked away, Emily poured some of the champagne in Derek’s glass before dumping the rest in the plant behind them.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a fundraising dinner, but Emily knew well enough that supper would be late, with a few hours of mingling and dancing.  Derek sipped the champagne before putting the glass down.  “Dance with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was beautiful.  Easily the most beautiful woman in the room.  Both men and women stopped and stared at them, at her.  Even though she was almost four months pregnant, she moved with the soft grace and ease that was trained into her.  He knew how to dance, he wasn’t great at it, but he knew how to do it.  His hand rested on her lower back as they moved around the floor, his eyes focused on her face.  He leaned in, kissing her softly before tightening his protective grip on her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her energy level was still lower than she would like to admit, and they soon retreated to the table with assigned seating.  It was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>small</span>
  </em>
  <span> gathering to her mother’s standards, only a hundred or so people.  Emily easily slipped back into her debutante mask.  Smiling without showing her teeth, because ladies never showed their teeth.  Her movements were slow, planned, meditated.  She floated around until her mother came towards them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Emily.  Agent Morgan.  So glad that you could make it.”  Elizabeth smiled at them before leaning in and kissing her daughter’s cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek.”  Emily said quickly.  “His name is Derek and he is your son-in-law, Mother.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elizabeth’s face blanched and she nodded quickly.  “Of course of course.  Derek, I’m so glad that you could come.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled and wrapped his arm around Emily’s waist.  “Thank you for inviting us.”  He replied politely.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily’s gaze was dark, fixated on her mother before she sat back down.  Her mother didn’t seem to notice or care about the glares that her daughter was sending her way.  Elizabeth finally looked over at her daughter and gave her a smile before her face fell slightly as Emily reached for one of the appetizers that were being delivered to their table.  “Emily, dear.  Maybe you should cut back on the appetizers.  You look like you’ve gained a bit of weight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hand tightened in hers and he pulled her close, his lips brushing against her ear.  “Ignore her.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily’s hand tightened around his and he felt her teeth grind.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your blood pressure.”  He whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One large breath after another and Emily finally released the death grip on Derek’s hand that she had been holding.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for the advice, Mother.  I’ll keep that in mind.”  Emily said through clenched teeth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ambassador walked away to speak to someone and Emily exhaled loudly.  Derek smiled softly, his hand resting softly on her cheek.  “We’re okay.  You’re okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rolling her eyes, Emily sighed and leaned back on the chair, her fingers raking through her hair.  Wine started to appear along with people that filled up the empty chairs.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Emily!”  A blonde squealed, pulling up a chair next to the brunette.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek swallowed his wine and fought back a laugh, watching the look on his wife’s face.  Emily turned slowly to face the blonde.  “Annabelle.”  She said tightly.  “I didn’t know you were in DC.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blonde, Annabelle, smiled and picked up the glass of wine.  “Oh, I’m not in DC, but your mother sent the invitation and I just HAD to come.”  She turned and looked at Derek.  “Sorry, how rude of me.  I’m Annabelle Rothburn.  And you are?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek Morgan.”  He replied giving her a soft nod of the head.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Annabelle smiled and looked at him, her fake lashes fluttering.  “Nice to meet you Derek Morgan.  And you know our Emily how?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m her husband.”  He replied interlacing his fingers with Emily’s.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blonde stopped and stared at Emily.  “Emily!  You didn’t tell me you were married!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t ask.”  Emily replied dryly.  “We haven’t been in contact since Yale, I don’t exactly have your updated address.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you married...</span>
  <em>
    <span>him.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”  She gave Derek a glance and then back at Emily.  “Please tell me you’re still not working with the FBI...he needs someone at home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily made a face and looked over at Derek who was fighting back the urge to laugh.  “So I can be home to </span>
  <em>
    <span>take care of him</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”  She shook her head.</span>
  <span>  “I’m the unit chief of the BAU.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Unit chief?”  Annabelle’s face screwed up.  “No one likes a woman in power.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek reached for Emily’s hand and squeezed it gently.  “I disagree.  I LOVE my woman in power.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m still hungry.”  Emily whined as they drove down the freeway after the evening.  She leaned against the seat and huffed softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, you’ve told me already.  We’ll grab a burger and fries once we’re off the freeway.”  Derek said, his hand on her knee.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I forgot how little they feed you at those things.”  She said resting her hands on her abdomen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek laughed softly and squeezed her thigh.  “Could also be that you’ve never been pregnant while going to one of those.”  He reasoned taking their exit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Heading to the closest fast food restaurant, he pulled in and ordered them some fries and burgers  In their black tie attire, Derek watched as Emily took a huge bite of the burger.  “Yep, the babies wanted burgers.”  She said with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just the babies?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, eating for three now.”  Emily said with a smirk.  Once she finished her burger, she leaned back with a sigh.  “I am not emotionally prepared to have my mother over at our house tomorrow.”  She said honestly.  “I can only imagine what she’s going to say.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek shrugged and took a sip of his coke.  “Whatever she says, we’re happy about having these babies.  I’m thrilled about having a family with you, what anyone else says doesn’t matter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Emily gathered their trash and threw it away before reaching for Derek’s hand.  “Take me home, Husband.”  She hummed softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Walking back to the car, the cooler fall air whipping around and twisting at Emily’s hair, Derek shut the door gently before walking around to the </span>
  <span>other side of the SUV and climbing in himself.  They drove in silence and it took him a few moments to realise that Emily was snoring softly in the seat next to him.  His hand ghosted over Emily’s baby bump, a smile playing on his lips.  He knew, regardless of what happened tomorrow, they were going to have their family.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pulled into their driveway and turned off the engine.  Emily slept on.  Walking up to the front door, Derek unlocked it and left it open before heading back and scooping up Emily.  Her brown eyes fluttered open and she stared at Derek before looking down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek.”  She mumbled, her voice still heavy with sleep.  “I can walk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toeing off his shoes, Derek held her tight.  “I know you can, but you were sleeping.”  He took off her heels and gently put her on her feet. </span>
  <span>“Bedtime.”  He ordered, following her up the stairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shrugged off her dress and hung it up knowing it would have to go to the dry cleaner’s along with Derek’s tux.  She took off her makeup and washed her face before tugging on one of Derek’s t-shirts.  Climbing into bed, she rolled around for a few moments before finding a comfortable position.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You good?”  Derek questioned, climbing in his side of the bed and watching his wife.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm hmmm.”  Emily closed her eyes and backed up against him and he wrapped his arms around her middle.  She exhaled softly and Derek felt her relax in his arms, pressing a soft kiss on the back of her neck.  </span>
</p><p>“I love you Emily Morgan.”  He whispered softly, his hand resting on her abdomen. </p><p>"Love you too." Emily whispered before drifting off to a restless sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Mother dearest</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ambassador Prentiss comes to visit and Emily and Derek tell her their news.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>If you withhold love from a child, you may as well withhold air.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fruit is cut up, croissants are in the oven, and everything for eggs benedict is ready to go.”  Derek said as he brushed his hand off on the dish towel.  “I think we’re ready to go.  I’m going to get changed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded, chewing on her thumbnail.  Her hair was pulled up in a ponytail, still heavy with curls from last night.  She was wearing a pair of jeans, with the adjuster, and a dark purple flowing top.  While it was cool outside, they could still eat on the back deck.  Derek returned a few moments later, clean shaven and wearing dark jeans and a lilac button down shirt.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You clean up well.”  Emily teased, leaning against him.  She didn’t have to look to see where he was, she just always...knew.  She had an innate trust in him that whatever happened, he would be there to catch her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So do you, Princess.”  His lips were against her skin, inhaling deeply.  She was wearing the perfume she always wore, her hair smelling like coconuts and lemon.  She was soft and warm in his arms, her curves round and healthy.  “You’re beautiful.”  He murmured, his strong arms holding her under her small baby bump.  “I’m so lucky to have you in my life.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Turning in his arms, Emily smiled up at her.  “Me too.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their lips met softly, deepening quickly when the doorbell rang.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck.”  Emily mumbled under her breath, giving Derek a shy smile.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shrugged and straightened his shirt before going to open the door.  “Elizabeth, welcome.”  He smiled and held the door open wide.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The older woman walked in and took off her sunglasses.  She looked around before nodding in silent approval. “Well, you certainly have a nice home.”  She said looking at the two of them.  “A little bit larger than I would have thought for the two of you, but it’s in a nice neighbourhood.  And your yard is well kept.  Gardner?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shook her head and pointed towards Derek.  “Yeah, him.”  She took her mother’s coat and hung it up.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek gave Emily a smile and reached over and took her hand.  “I enjoy doing yard work, Elizabeth.  And I like having our place presentable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course of course.”  She looked around and gave Emily a smile.  “It is good to see you though, Dear.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded and started to walk, dragging Derek along.  “We have everything set up outside for brunch.  Would you like a coffee to start?”  They walked outside where they had the table neatly set.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elizabeth took a seat, her dark eyes looking around and taking in their manicured lawn, the pool and the hot tub.  “It’s nice.”  She said finally, giving her daughter a nod when she filled her coffee cup.  “But you know dear, I don’t eat breakfast.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Emily sat down as Derek appeared with the food.  “Well it’s good that it’s brunch then.  We have almond croissants, fruit, and eggs benedict.”  She took a sip of her own sparkling water before looking back at her mother.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, well that sounds lovely.  I’ll have to get the name of your caterer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looks were exchanged and Derek placed the food down on the table.  “Mother, both Derek and I are functioning adults.  We made the brunch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek silently filled their plates before reaching for Emily’s hand under the table and giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mother, there’s a reason we invited you over.  We have an announcement we want to tell you, but we thought that it would be better off telling you in private.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking a sip of her coffee, Elizabeth looked at the two of them.  “Okay, nothing bad I hope.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m pregnant.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elizabeth nodded and took another sip of her coffee.  “This one was planned, I hope.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His fingers tightened around hers, a silent show of support.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, mother, this one is planned.  In fact we’ve spent a lot of money on getting pregnant.  We want to have a family.”  Emily said, returning Derek’s gentle squeeze.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The older woman took a slow sip of her coffee, her dark eyes narrowing at the younger couple.  “Well, it sounds like you have thought everything through.”  She said finally.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you even the least bit happy for us?”  Emily asked as she let go of Derek’s hand and took a bite of her food.  “Derek and I have thought this through already.  I’m pregnant.  With twins.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elizabeth followed suit and picked at the fruit on her plate.  “Well, that part is  good.  That it’s planned at least.  I hope you know what you’re doing, Emily.  Are you going to continue working for the FBI?  I thought that you wanted to one day be director.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I still can be, mother.  Just because I’ll be a mother doesn’t mean that I won’t be as capable as I was before.”  She looked at Derek who took another bite of his food and shrugged.  Emily was about to say something when movement caught her eye.  A flash of red and a soft thud and Elizabeth turned and watched as Noah wandered through their yard over to the corner with the strawberry patch.  Derek chuckled and got up scooping up the boy.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey buddy, where are you going?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Berries.”  He announced wiggling in Derek’s arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have berries at the table.  They’re clean too.  Want some?”  He walked over and gave Emily a grin as Noah reached for her and sat comfortably on her lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi Emmy.”  He gave Elizabeth a toothy grin before leaning against Emily.  She gave him some strawberries that he ate greedily.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey baby boy.”  She looked at her mom and shrugged.  “This is our neighbour Noah.  He likes to come and visit sometimes.”  She ruffled his curls gently and pressed a kiss on the top of his head.  “Does your Mama and Umi know you’re here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah shrugged and reached for the fruit on Emily’s plate.  “Umi workin’.”  He said, taking a piece of melon.  “Mama bafroom.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek laughed softly and got up.  “I’ll go text Mackenzie and let her know.”  He was about to leave when he heard a door slam.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Noah Abdullah Rasheed-Wallace!”  Mackenzie yelled from the yard next door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah looked at Emily with big eyes and put a finger to his lips.  “Shhh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have him over here, Mackenzie.”  Derek called.  A few seconds later Mackenzie walked over, hair wet and hanging around her shoulders.  She was wearing a pair of black leggings and a UConn sweater.  Biting down on the inside of her cheek, her dark skin flushed.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, I didn’t realise that you had company.”  He mumbled, reaching for her son who cuddled against Emily.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ambassador Prentiss.”  Elizabeth said, extending her hand to Mackenzie.  The younger woman looked up up and down before extending her own hand.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Major Mackenzie Rasheed-Wallace.  United States Marine JAG corps.”  She said stiffly.  “Sorry about Noah, he was watching Paw Patrol before he decided to escape.”  She said with a shy shrug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nothing Kenzie.”  Emily said motioning to the empty chair.  “Sit down, we have lots of food to go around.  We finally got around to trying the almond filled croissant recipe.”  She said as she tore off a piece for Noah.  “This is my mother.”  She said, a pained expression on her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie sat down and picked at the food, watching Noah on Emily’s lap.  “So, Ambassador?  Which country?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elizabeth took a tentative bite of her food and put her fork down.  “Currently, I’m without assignment, but I’m sure it will be in the next few weeks.  I’ve been an ambassador to Lebanon, Romania, Kazakhstan, Russia, and Bolivia.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I met my wife in Lebanon.  She’s Palestinian, but was working for doctors without borders.”  Mackenzie said cutting up some grapes and dropping them on Emily’s plate for Noah.  “She’s currently head of trauma at Walter Reed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The older woman kept her poker face and sipped her coffee.  “I see.”  She said stiffly.  “Does </span>
  <em>
    <span>she</span>
  </em>
  <span> look after your child?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie blinked and glanced over at Derek who was looking down at his plate.  “Um...we co-parent seeing as our jobs are really busy, but if you’re commenting on the fact that my son is an escape artist, he does that with anyone and everyone.”  She said looking at Noah who was pressing his hands to Emily’s baby bump.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mother, you hired nannies.  You didn’t raise me.”  Emily said without looking up from Noah.  “Mackenzie and Taala do an amazing job.  If you’re not going to support me and Derek and our choice...then you don’t need to be here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The older woman shrugged, her eyes on the little boy that Emily held in her lap.  Her daughter was so comfortable with the little boy, a natural, whereas Elizabeth handed Emily off to a nanny as soon as she could.  Noah pressed his small hand to her abdomen and smiled.  “Emmy and Dek baby.”  He said proudly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes bud, that’s Emily and Derek’s baby.”  Derek said with a smile.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Baby.  Baby.”  His little hands pressed against her abdomen.  “Two.  I two.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie shook her head.  “Yes, but you’re turning three in a week.”  She said getting up.  “We should go.  I apologize again for his intrusion.”  She said walking over and picking up her son who went limp and whined.  “You’re fine, bud.”  She said, shaking her head.  Noah wiggled until he was free and he ran over to Emily and pressed his face against her side.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine Mackenzie.  Really.  If you need to do something, we can keep him for a little bit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah nodded.  “I stay wif Emmy and Dek.”  He said, his little fingers gripping Emily’s pants.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Mackenzie ran her fingers through her hair.  “Okay, I have to make a call to my partner about a case.”  She looked at her son and squatted so she was at his level.  “Noah, you be good for Emily and Derek.  Mama will be back in half an hour.”  She pressed a kiss on his forehead and ruffled his hair.  “Text me if he goes wild.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily smiled and picked up Noah.  “He’ll be fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They watched as Mackenzie walked back and Elizabeth turned to Emily and Derek.  “Derek, do you mind if I have a conversation with my daughter?  Alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Getting to his feet, Derek scooped up the little boy and swung him over his shoulders.  “Let’s go little man.  We can watch some Netflix.”  Noah giggled and hung onto Derek’s neck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once they were inside, Emily turned to her mom.  “I’m already 14 weeks pregnant, Mother.  Derek and I will be having these babies whether you agree to it or not.  We have friends here that will support us, I just wanted to let you know since you’re my mother…”  She took a breath and was going to continue when Elizabeth cut her off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Emily.  This seems to be something you have planned out, and for you that’s saying something.  You are impulsive, but you have never really shown any maternal instincts.  Are you cut out to be a mother?”  Elizabeth said, staring at her daughter.  “You are very good with that chunky little black boy, but I also want you to think of your career opportunities.  Do you ever wonder why there hasn’t been a female FBI director?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Frowning, Emily rested her hands on her baby bump.  “If I end my career as unit chief of the BAU, then I end my career as the unit chief of the BAU.  I’m the first female unit chief in the history of the FBI, I’ve already cracked the glass ceiling, I can smash it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“With a baby on your hip?”  Elizabeth countered.  “I just don’t want you to resent your child.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Children.  And I won’t resent them just because you resented me.  Derek and I want these babies.  We spent MONTHS doing hormone therapy, ultrasound therapy...this isn’t a decision that we came to lightly.  We’re having twins.  We’re going to be parents, you’re going to be a grandmother.  It’s up to you if you actually want to be one by action or just by title.”  Getting up, Emily shook her head.  “I’m going to go spend time with my husband.  I’m sorry that you’re so career driven that you can’t be happy for your only child.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Walking inside, Emily exhaled loudly, her body shaking.  She sat down beside Derek, tears flowing down her cheeks.  Derek wrapped his arms around her, feeling the hot warmth of her tears soaking into his shirt.  Noah looked over and sat on the edge of the couch.  “Emmy sad?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek nodded and gave the boy a smile.  “Yeah, Emily is sad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The little boy shook his head and wrapped his arms around Emily.  “It otay Emmy.  It otay.”  He whispered softly as Emily cried harder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elizabeth walked into the house and looked at her daughter and sighed.  She looked at Derek who averted his gaze quickly.  Slowly Emily looked up and met her mother’s gaze.  “Emily, when you’re feeling better, I’d like to continue this conversation.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With tears in her eyes, Emily nodded slowly.  When her mother left, Emily slumped against Derek and pulled Noah into her lap.  “Come here, buddy.”  She whispered, burying her face in his soft curls.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I make Emmy fee better?”  He whispered, hugging her tightly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You make Emily feel better.”  She repeated.  Derek wrapped his arms around the two of them and held them until Mackenzie walked in the door.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0036"><h2>36. Mother dearest, the sequel</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Fran comes for a visit and they tell her the news.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>I love her and that’s the beginning and the end of everything - F Scott Fitzgerald</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Derek stood waiting for his mother to debark from the plane.  With Emily now showing, he knew it was better for them to meet her at home to avoid a major scene.  His mother appeared, a carry on slung over her shoulder, a smile on her face.  In a few short steps he wrapped her in his arms.  “Hey ma.”  He said softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She returned his hug before looking around.  “Where is your beautiful wife?  Is she still at work?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grabbing her bag, Derek shook his head.  “Just finishing some paperwork.  She’ll be home by the time we get home.  She said she’s going to pick up some food on her way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fran nodded as they walked out to his new SUV.  “No truck?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shrugging, Derek tossed her bag in the back seat.  “Needed something a bit more...practical.”  He said, avoiding the real reason.  He drove to their house, Fran taking everything to their house.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You guys live in such a nice neighbourhood.”  She said looking out the windows.  “I’m so proud of you, Derek.”  Fran gushed as they pulled into the driveway.  “This is a gorgeous house.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ma, you’ve just seen the driveway.  Let’s go do a full tour and then hopefully Em will be back with supper.  She’s going to get food from a small Arabic place.  Our neighbours introduced us to it.”  Derek said, grabbing his mother’s bag and leading them inside their house.  “Alright, the whole tour.”  He announced walking his mother through their house.  The look of pride never left her face and when they were back in the front entrance, Fran wrapped her son in a huge embrace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek this is everything I wanted for you and your sisters in your lives.  I am so proud of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew he was going to cry, he just didn’t think it would be this early.  “Ma.”  He mumbled, holding her tight.  “You were a great mom, and a great dad.  You gave us everything we ever wanted, and I’m here in this position because of you.”  He said softly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door opened and Derek turned spotting Emily behind an armful of food.  “Little help, Derek?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grabbing some bags, he leaned down and gave his wife a soft kiss and headed into the kitchen with the food.  Emily kicked off her boots and gave Fran a shy smile.  The older woman wrapped her in a hug, her heavy sweater hiding her baby bump.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Emily, dear, you look just radiant.”  The older woman commented. Smiling softly, Emily shrugged and brushed her hair off her shoulders, unwilling to tell her the secret just yet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your son does a great job of taking care of me.”  She replied, leading her mother-in-law to the kitchen.  They had ordered way too much food for the three of them and Derek had it spread out on the table.  “Before we eat...uh...Derek and I got you a little something.”  She grabbed the small package they had wrapped and handed it to Fran.  “Open it.  Please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly, Fran untied the bow and in it were two small white and grey sleepers inside with the words “Nana’s favourite” on the front.  She looked between the two of them in stunned silence.  “Are you two?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek walked behind Emily and wrapped his arms around her.  “Emily is pregnant.”  He confirmed.  “With twins.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fran looked between the two of them, tears welling up in her eyes.  “Twins?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek released his wife and walked over to his mother and sat down across from her, taking her hands.  “Mom, we’ve been trying for months.  We’ve done more than any couple should have to do for these babies.”  He said quietly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fran looked at him with tears in her eyes and shook her head.  “I...you...you’re having twins.  Grandbabies.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had planned for Emily to wear the heavy sweater, but she was wearing a tank top underneath and she quickly pulled off the heavier garment to reveal her baby belly.  She walked over to her mother in law who looked at her for permission.  Emily nodded as Fran gently placed her hands on her belly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek wrapped his arms around her wife and kissed her softly as he watched his mother.  A soft chuckle spilled from his lips when he heard Emily’s stomach growl.  “Alright, let’s eat before things get cold.”  He said softly.  Spooning out the food onto plates, he handed one to his mother then to Emily.  “Ma, you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dragging her eyes from Emily, Fran nodded.  “Yeah, just a little bit overwhelmed.”  She admitted softly.  Giving Emily a small smile, she reached for her fork and took a small bite of the food.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, Fran.”  Emily said softly.  “We’ve had time to process it, we were the same way when we found out.”  She admitted with a shrug.  “Derek cried in his office.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whoa whoa whoa...My wife had just told me that we were pregnant.  After months of me shooting you in the ass with hormones.  Forgive me for being happy.”  Derek retorted, shaking his head.  “But so far everything has been going as planned.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily grinned and took a bite of the chicken and rice.  “We’re seeing the OB a bit more than normal, but because it’s a high risk pregnancy they want to be on top of things.”  She said with a small shrug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fran exhaled softly and gave the two a smile.  “I am so happy for you two.  And so proud.  You two have fought to get here, and you have a beautiful home, great jobs, an amazing life and you are starting a family.”  She wiped her eyes.  “I wish your dad was here to see you now, Derek.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, Ma.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily and Derek exchanged glances, their hands finding one another’s under the table. They finished the meal, Emily clearing most of her plate.  Derek shot her a concerned look that she brushed off.  “Derek, there’s not a lot of room in there right now.”  She commented, rolling her eyes.  She packed up the extra food and grabbed her files from her bag and started to work on the paperwork.  Derek shrugged at his mom and motioned towards the living room.  He sat down on the couch while his mother sat down on the overstuffed chair.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish I could get her to take it easy.”  Derek commented softly, quietly enough that Emily wouldn’t overhear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fran’s eyebrows raised and she shook her head.  “Derek, that wouldn’t be the Emily you fell in love with and married.  You know, better than anyone, about the work that you guys do and you can’t hold it against Emily.”  She said softly.  “But you guys are going to have to look at what you’re going to do when the babies get here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Derek ran his hands over his head.  “I know.  We’ve talked about it, regardless she’s going to take maternity leave, we’re not sure how long just yet but we have good benefits packages.  And there’s a daycare at FBI headquarters so we can take them there.”  He shrugged.  “Right now we’re just taking it one step at a time.  Right now we’re more focused on having a good pregnancy and two healthy babies.  Everything else is secondary.”  He exhaled softly and crossed his ankle over his knee.  “It’s a high risk pregnancy due to our ages, and then Emily had trauma from…”  His voice trailed off.  “I just want my wife and my babies to be alright.  We’ll figure things out as they come.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His voice trailed off and he gave his mom a small smile.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Things will work out, Derek.  You guys have gotten this far.  You guys have FOUGHT to get this far, I know you’ll fight for your wife and babies.”  Fran reassured her son.  “You two are fighters.  Your babies will be fighters.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The doorbell cut them off and Derek got up, watching as Emily answered the door.  A frazzled looking Taala stood in the doorway with Noah in her arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I ask you guys a huge favour?”  She asked, adjusting her son in her arms.  “There was a serious multiple vehicle accident on the beltway and Mackenzie is still at work.  She should be back in the next couple of hours...I can take Noah to the daycare at the hospital but then it’s overnight regardless and he never sleeps all that well there…”  Taala rambled.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily cut her off and scooped up Noah who had a spiderman backpack on and was clutching a Spiderman stuffie.  “It’s fine, Taala.  Go save lives.  We’ll take care of the little man.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Taala smiled.  “Thanks so much, you guys are lifesavers.  We were just going to go for a bath, but you don’t have to bathe him if you don’t feel comfortable.  I did throw in his shampoo and stuff.  He has his pjs in there, some pull ups, wipes and creams.  Also have his books in there…and a change of clothes.”  She handed a matching Spiderman duffle bag to Derek who appeared from behind.  “You guys are rockstars.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go.”  Emily ordered softly, shutting the door as Taala left.  She looked at the little boy in his arms and pressed a kiss to his head.  “So buddy, you’re gonna spend the night here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah nodded.  “Mama at work.”  He said seriously.  Looking around, his eyes fell on Fran and his thumb popped into his mouth.  “Who dat?”  Putting him on the ground, Derek took the boy’s hand and walked him over to the family room.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is my mom.”  Derek said squatting beside Noah.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Blinking, Noah looked at Fran warily before looking back at Derek.  “Dek, you gotta Mama?  But you big boy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fran laughed softly and got down to Noah’s level.  “Even big boys need Mamas sometime.”  She said softly.  “My name is Fran.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah mouthed her name before shaking his head.  “Nan?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, you can call me Nan.”  She said gently.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I Noah.”  He said softly looking over at Derek and giving him a smile.   “Nice to mee you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fran smiled at the little boy and ruffled his hair.  “Well, I’ll leave you to this little guy, don’t worry I can entertain myself for a little while.”  She assured the couple.  Looking at the little boy she gave him a gentle smile.  “Have a good sleep Noah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah yawned and leaned against Emily’s leg.  “Night Nan.”  Emily scooped him up and motioned to his duffle bag.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go little man.”  She said softly, heading for the washroom.  Filling the bath with warm water, she stripped the little boy down and sat him in it.  “Derek, do you want to grab some of the toys we have in the bin and some tupperware containers?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek went and grabbed a few of the toys they kept around for when Henry and Michael came over and some containers.  He gave Noah a couple of boats and filled the containers up with water.  Derek sat down on the floor so Emily could sit on the toilet seat.  He reached in and poured some of the water next to Noah who giggled.  The little boy copied his movements and poured water back into the bathtub.  Derek kept playing with Noah while Emily watched, rubbing her small baby belly.  “Okay boys, five more minutes.”  Emily said with a smile.  “Then we wash your body, your hair and brush your teeth.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Five minutes.”  Noah repeated as he kept playing with Derek.  When Emily’s timer went off, he smiled at Emily.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, let’s get you all washed up.”  Derek and Emily switched spots and she used the baby body wash to clean him and then she gently massaged the shampoo through his hair.  “How do Mama and Umi get the soap out of your hair?”  Emily asked softly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah tilted his head back and squeezed his eyes closed.  She took the hint and poured water over him until his hair was free of suds.  “Okay, let’s get you changed and in your jammies.”  She drained the tub and wrapped him in a thick towel, Derek picking him up and carrying him to the spare room.  They got him dried and put on his pull up before pulling on the Spiderman onesie.  Emily ran the soft brush through his hair before laying him down in the bed.  She looked over at Derek scared of how far the bed was from the ground.  “Do we still have pool noodles?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”  Derek shrugged.  “Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Grab a couple and we’ll put them under the sheet so he can’t fall out.”  Emily said before lying down with the little boy. “Emmy and Derek’s room is right there.”  She said pointing to their door.  “You can come in if you need one of us, okay?”  He nodded and laid his head on the pillow.   She opened the book and started to read it, watching as Noah’s dark eyes started to flutter closed.  At the end of the book she closed it and climbed out of bed and silently helped Derek place the pool noodles under the sheets.  Leaving the door open, they silently walked back to the living room and dropped on the couch, Emily cuddling up next to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fran looked at them and smiled.  “So are you two ready to do that every night?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draping his arm over Emily and holding her close, his hand on her belly, Derek shrugged.  “Noah is easy.  He’s well trained.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doesn’t really matter, a baby is a baby.  But you guys did great.  Emily, you're a natural.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The younger woman’s face lit up as he cuddled against her husband’s side.  “You think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.  That little boy trusts you, you make him feel loved and cared for.  You two are going to be great parents.”  Fran said, smiling as Emily clutched Derek’s hand.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stayed up talking, Derek sending Mackenzie a quick text to tell her she could come and get Noah in the morning before retiring to bed. Wearing one of Derek’s shirts, Emily padded out and checked on Noah who was lying spread eagle in the bed.  With her hand on her belly, she stood back and watched in silence before finally turning and walking away into the room.  Derek emerged from the washroom and climbed into bed, waiting for Emily to curl up against him.  His hands rested on her abdomen, his lips against her skin.  “Are you ready to do this all the time?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded and covered his hands with hers.  “More than anyone knows.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t wait to feel these little beans moving.”  He said happily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rolling her eyes, Emily elbowed him softly.  “Go to sleep.”  She mumbled wiggling until she was comfortable.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you, Princess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you too, Derek.”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>It was early, the sun barely breaching the horizon when Emily awoke feeling like someone was watching her.  She rolled over and met a pair of hazel eyes staring back at her from the edge of her bed.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Noah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The little boy nodded, clutching his Spiderman stuffie.  “I a’cared.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Scared?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded again and looked at Emily with big eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Want to come in for a cuddle?”  She whispered, sliding over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah nodded and crawled into bed.  He crawled over and sank down between Emily and Derek and closed his eyes.  Emily ran her hand over his curls until his soft breathing evened out.  She closed her own eyes and tried for another couple hours of sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek woke up with a quick kick to the side.  “Emily…”  He groaned, opening his eyes and seeing an extra body in their bed.  His wife sat up and gave him a blushing smile.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He was scared.”  She whispered as Noah flopped over and buried deeper into the blankets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leaning over, he pressed a soft kiss on Emily’s lips.  “I’m going for a run.”  He whispered, sliding out and changing into his running stuff.  Emily laid back in bed, her arm around the little boy.  He gave her a gentle smile before sneaking out of the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie was already on the driveway in leggings and a tank top, her hair tied up high on her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your son kicked me out of bed.”  He said with a smirk as they started to job.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shook her head and shot him a look.  “He knows who the suckers are.”  She said as they picked up the pace.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My wife.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmmm hmmm.  And for just a second you didn’t think that he was the cutest little guy in the world?”  Mackenzie questioned.  She was met by silence and she nodded.  “Thought so.”  They kept running, heading to the running path that took them through a park.  “So, your mom take the news better than </span>
  <em>
    <span>the ambassador</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”  Mackenzie asked, faking an accent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughing, Derek nodded.  “Yeah, she’s thrilled.”  He glanced at Mackenzie.  “You and Taala are amazing, being able to do all of this on your own.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The younger woman shrugged and picked up her pace to keep up to Derek.  “It wasn’t really a choice for us.  My mom was a snow bunny - white woman that got in with the gangs.  They knocked her up while she was addicted to crack.  I mean I was better off in the system than with her, which is saying a whole hell of a lot.”  They ran for a while in silence before slowing.  Mackenzie wiped her face with the collar of her shirt and gave Derek a small smile.  “You don’t miss what you never really had.”  She said finally.  “It’s harder on Taala than it is on me.  I was a pretty shitty little kid.  The last family that I lived with never officially adopted me, but I stayed with them for eight years, from the time I was 9 until I aged out.  They gave me their last name and gave me a lot of skills.  He was a marine and she taught me to play basketball.  Taala had a relationship with her family until she met me.  I’ve messaged them and tried to talk to them, but I just get met with radio silence.”  Sighing, Mackenzie redid her ponytail.  “I know we’re probably better off, but I understand the hurt that Emily feels.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek listened to Mackenzie and closed the gap between them and gave the younger woman a hug.  “You’ve made your own family and you guys have an amazing little boy.”  He said softly.  “You two are stronger than any of us.”  When he finally pulled away, Derek gave her a soft smile.  “Speaking of which, are you pregnant yet?  You’re glowing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie rolled her eyes dramatically.  “I’m sweaty, not glowing.”  She said wrinkling her nose.  “Not everyone glows.  And just because your wife is pregnant doesn’t mean everyone else is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shrugged as they started running again.  Once they returned home, Mackenzie headed back to her place to shower before Derek headed back inside.  Emily was still sleeping and a curly little head popped up when he walked in.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dek!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pressing his finger to his lips, Derek sat down and opened up his phone and put on Paw Patrol on Netflix.  “Let Emmy sleep.  I’m going to go shower.”  The little boy smiled and sat back, his eyes glued to the phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he emerged, Emily was still sleeping and Noah was still watching his show.  He scooped up the little boy and walked out with him, dropping him on the couch.  “Your Mama is gonna come get you.”  He said softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah nodded.  “Otay.”  He gave Derek a smile.  “Fank you, Dek.”  Turning back to the phone, he tucked his feet under him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t his son.  It wasn’t his family, just yet.  But for just a moment Derek let himself dream before turning and starting to make breakfast.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0037"><h2>37. Existing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hormones hit Emily hard.  JJ comes to the rescue and Derek and Fran go shopping.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>― </span>
  <b>Elbert Hubbard</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily emerged from the bedroom wearing a pair of Derek’s sweats rolled up at the waist and one of her shirts, pulled tight over her belly.  Her hair was pulled in a ponytail on the top of her head, her face free of any makeup.  And to Derek she was the most gorgeous woman in the world.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need more pants.”  She grumbled staring down at her belly.  “I texted JJ and she’s going to bring her maternity stuff today for me to try on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek shrugged.  “Okay.”  Walking over, he wrapped his arms around her and pressed his lips to her neck.  “But you look beautiful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I look fat.”  Emily complained.  “I knew that I would have to get maternity clothes...I just didn’t think that it would be so SOON.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek was ready to say something when the doorbell rang and he opened it, finding Mackenzie at the door.  “Let me go get your kid.”  He said with a light laugh.  “He’s chilling with my mom.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie nodded and toed off her shoes.  “Sorry about everything last night.  We’re usually far more organized than we were yesterday.  My interview with my client went longer than I had expected and then with the pile up.  Taala just got home.”  The younger woman rambled and went over where Fran and Noah were sitting.  “I apologize that you have to spend your time with my son instead of visiting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fran shook her head and smiled down at the boy.  “Totally fine.  He’s a lovely child.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The younger woman laughed softly and rolled her eyes.  “Some days.”  She admitted scooping up her son.  “I’ll get him out of your hair.”  She said softly.  “We’re gonna go see Umi and make her some breakfast because she worked real hard.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah nodded and blew kisses at Fran.  “Bye Nan!”  He called out happy.  “Bye Dek!  Bye Emmy!”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie rolled her eyes and gathered up her son and his bag.  “Thanks again.”  She called.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once she left, Fran stood up and went to help Derek with breakfast.  “They seem sweet.”  She commented as she started to mix stuff for French Toast.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They are.  Nice to have as neighbours.  They’re trying to get pregnant.  I keep telling Mackenzie to check, but she hasn’t yet.”  Derek shrugged as he fried up some bacon.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily rolled her eyes and poured herself a glass of orange juice.  “Maybe they don’t want you in their business, Derek.”  She said, eyebrows arching.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fair.”  Derek laughed and piled the breakfast on the table, watching as Emily took two pieces of French toast and a piece of bacon.  She took a few tentative bites of the French toast and glanced over at Derek.  He gave her a shy smile and focused on his meal though glancing at her plate every once in a while.  “Did you take your pills?”  He asked, not happy with the lack of food on her plate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“With my orange juice.”  She replied, her eyebrow arching, a silent challenge to him to keep up his line of questioning.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hands rose in a sign of surrender and took another piece of bacon.  “Just making sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Emily put her fork down.  “You wouldn’t understand.”  She mumbled.  The doorbell rang interrupting what was going to happen.  Getting up, Emily opened the door and gave JJ a smile.  “Come on in.”  She said, still shooting glares Derek’s way.  “We’ll go into the bedroom.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek looked at Fran who waited until she heard the click of the bedroom door.  “She’ll be fine, Derek.  Pregnancy is hard at the best of times, let alone when your system is flooded with twice the amount of hormones.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, he looked at the door.  “I guess you’re right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You guess?  Boy.”  Fran shook her head and started to clear the table.  “I know I was a hormonal mess when I was pregnant and I only had one baby at a time.  I can only imagine how she’s feeling.  So give her some space, keep telling her that she’s gorgeous.  Show her that she’s gorgeous.”  She gave her son a stern look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuddering, he looked at his mother.  “Please don’t talk about sex.  The three of us were immaculate conceptions.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmmhmmm.”  Fran hummed as she started to load the dishwasher. </span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>“What did Derek do?”  JJ asked as she opened up the suitcase she had full of maternity clothes.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily grumbled and started to look through the clothes.  “He’s existing.”  She said angrily.  “He’s hovering.  All the time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughing, JJ pulled out the clothes.  “It’s his job.  You’ll be okay, Mama.”  She smiled and handed Emily some shirts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily stripped off her shirt and started trying different ones on.  Thankfully JJ had all sizes, but Emily noted sadly, that the first set of clothes were too tight.  JJ seemed to notice Emily’s concern.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mama, you have twins.  Your husband is six-two.  Mine is five-eight.”  The blonde said, shaking her head.  “You got two big babies in there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence washed over Emily and she pulled on a shirt, staring at herself in the mirror.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It looks cute.  I have a bunch that size.”  JJ said, pulling out a pile of shirts all the same size.  “Here try on these pants.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily pulled off Derek’s sweats and pulled on the pair of black maternity pants.  Most of them were slim fit, some were work pants, others were more casual, and then there were jeans.  Thankfully she and JJ were about the same height, and JJ never went to get any of them hemmed so they fit the slightly taller woman.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ watched as Emily pulled on a pair of pants and looked at herself in the mirror.  “Emily, you look great.”  She said softly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Staring at herself in the mirror, Emily ran her hands over her shirt to smooth it.  JJ sat on the bed in silence watching her best friend.  “What’s wrong?”  The blonde asked softly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a long silence before Emily spoke.  “I...I guess...I just feel huge compared to other people.  Like people are showing off their beautiful baby bumps and I feel like I already have a full blown pregnancy belly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ shook her head and tugged Emily down on the bed by pulling on the back of her shirt.  “Emily Prentiss.  Emily Morgan.  Whatever name you’re using...you are beautiful.  You have not just one but </span>
  <em>
    <span>two </span>
  </em>
  <span>babies in there.”  She waited for Emily to turn and look at her.  “I’m not going to lie to you, you’re going to be bigger than most women because there are two babies in there.  Two placentas.  More amniotic fluid.”  JJ shrugged.  “But it’s going to keep your babies safe.”  Her face hardened.  “Did Derek say anything?”  She asked deeply, prepared to protect her best friend, even against her husband</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, well he has, but not what you’re thinking.  He’s being super supportive...but…”  She shrugged.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ nodded and took Emily’s hands between hers.  “I get it.  I was almost twice as big with Michael as I was Henry.  Everyone’s pregnancy is different.  The only thing you need to worry about is enjoying it and keeping those beautiful little babies and yourself healthy, okay?  If anyone says anything, it’s because they’re jealous because you are a badass and you’re beautiful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few tears rolled down Emily’s cheeks.  “Jesus, I don’t think I’ve ever cried this month in my life.”  She muttered, wiping her tears with both her hands.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s the hormones.”  JJ said, throwing herself at her best friend and wrapping her arms around her.  “Honestly Em, just enjoy this.  It’s a beautiful time in your and Derek’s lives.”  Pulling back she gave her friend a smile.  “So don’t worry about it, okay?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They finished going through the clothes, leaving the larger sizes with Emily.  A little while later they emerged from the bedroom and JJ gave Derek and Fran a wide smile.  “We found lots of stuff that fits.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek looked up and gave Emily a smile.  “Good, I’m glad.  Thanks JJ.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blonde nodded and shouldered her bag.  “No problem.”  She looked at Fran and gave her a smile.  “So, excited to be a grandma times two?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fran grinned.  “So excited.”  She said looking between Emily and Derek.  “They’re going to be the most impulsive little things on the planet.”  She said with a laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said that too!”  JJ exclaimed, giving her friend’s arm a squeeze.  “They’re probably going to need baby leashes as soon as they start crawling.  Like little spiderman babies.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily sat down on Derek’s lap and pressed a kiss on his neck.  “Sorry about earlier.”  She whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine.”  He replied, wrapping his arms around her.  “But just so you know, you’re beautiful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Humming softly, Emily leaned against Derek and cuddled into him.  “I love you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek was an early walker.  Like he was already walking by 9 months, running by 10.  He was climbing just as early.”  Fran said looking at Derek. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> Emily sighed and rubbed her hands over her abdomen.  “Great.”  She mumbled elbowing Derek gently.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And when Derek started moving, he never stopped.  So enjoy the quiet you have now, Emily.”  Fran said with a light laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily's work phone rang and she quickly excused herself heading to the back yard.  Quickly she walked back in and looked at JJ.  “We’ve gotta go.”  She said apologetically.  Derek pulled her down for a quick kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stay safe, Princess.  I love you.”  He said watching as the two women grabbed their stuff and headed out.  Emily walked back and placed a soft gentle kiss on his lips.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you too, Derek.”  She whispered before giving Fran a nod and heading out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fran watched the women leave and then watched her son, his focus on his wife.  “Do you worry about her?”  She asked softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All the time.  I know that we have the best team with her.  I’m so proud of her and everything she’s done and everything she’s gonna do.”  Derek turned and gave his mother a smile.  “But it doesn’t make her going out to a case any easier.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Fran reached over and took her son’s hands in hers.  “I understand, I was the same way with your father.  “How about we go out and do some baby shopping and then get something nice for Emily?”  She suggested.  “God knows she needs it after putting up with you.”  She added with a smirk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ma!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s true.  That woman has to be a saint married to you and carrying your two big headed babies in there.”  Fran said getting to her feet.  “And if you haven’t noticed, your wife doesn’t exactly have the biggest frame to be carrying those babies in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Trust me, I’ve noticed.”  Derek said softly. “Yeah, let’s buy her something nice.  Maybe some pyjamas and something to make her feel pretty?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fran made a face and clapped her son on the shoulder.  “Let’s go hit up a few different maternity stores.  And we can do some research on some massage therapists that specializes in prenatal massages.  And have you looked into different classes?  What kind of stuff is Emily into?”  She went and grabbed her bag.  “We can do some research.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rolling his eyes, Derek got to his feet.  “Sure, let me go put on my shoes.”  He said with a smile.  “Thanks Ma...for everything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anytime, Derek.  And I mean it.  You two need </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything </span>
  </em>
  <span>and I’ll be here, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek looked at his other and nodded.  “Got it, Ma.”  He said softly before grabbing his phone and wallet and sliding on his shoes.  “Let’s go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fran put on her coat and grabbed her bag.  “Well, I guess that answers your sudden need for an SUV.”  She said with a smirk.  “And you know your sisters are never going to leave you and Emily alone now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A smile crossed his lips.  “I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Speaking of Emily, how did this all even happen?”  Fran asked as they climbed into the SUV.  “I mean, the dating is one thing, but we didn’t even know that you two were dating let alone in love with her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pulling out of the driveway, Derek couldn’t help but smile.  “It’s a long story, Ma.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fran turned to her son and gave him a smile.  “Well isn’t it great that we have all day together, then?”  She questioned with a smirk.</span>
</p><p>.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0038"><h2>38. Love Story</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Derek and Emily tell their own version of their love story.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>― </span>
  <b>Elizabeth Gilbert, </b>
  <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/3352398">
    <b>Eat, Pray, Love</b>
  </a>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They had been doing this, whatever it was, for a few months now.  After a particularly bad case, Emily would come over with some beer, or liquor of her choice, and they would unwind.  First, it started with just liquor, then sex.  They were never supposed to fall in love.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He knew it after the case with Dale Sharder.  She was concussed, cut up, and so god damn stubborn.  After they found Sharder and his partner, they headed home.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You scared me there, Princess.”  He said as he helped her wash her hair, still small pieces of windshield glass stuck in it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She looked over her shoulder and gave him a weak smile.  “I’m fine.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You might be, but I’m not.”  He replied, pressing a soft kiss to her neck.  “I’m not sure what I would do if I lost you, Emily.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She turned in his arms.  “You’d find someone else to work tension out with.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“There’s only one Emily Prentiss, so I doubt that.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They stood there until the water turned cold.  He knew right then and there that he had fallen in love with her.  With her smile, with her passion, with her energy, even with her impulsivity and stubbornness.  Even if she would never feel the same way about him, he knew that he was in love with her.  They laid in bed after, her skin soft, warm and sweet smelling.  Maybe one day he would tell her, but not today.  Not tonight.  He didn’t want to wreck what they had.  One day he would tell her.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Fran looked over at her son and gave a small nod.  “So, when did you tell her?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rolling his eyes, Derek sighed as he pulled into the parking spot.  “Not until after I carried her damn coffin.  And even then, it was a few months after she came back that I finally told her that I loved her.”  They walked into the maternity store and Derek looked around feeling completely out of his league and overwhelmed.  “I can only say that I’m glad that I finally did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mother nodded in agreement.  “You wouldn’t be here otherwise.”  She reasoned.  “Okay, now let’s look at some lounge clothes for Emily.  Things that are comfy.  We can get some for while she’s pregnant and then some for when she’s in the hospital, after she’s given birth.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek looked around and frowned.  There were so many different options and sizes.  The look of panic must’ve given him away because a young woman quickly walked up to him.  “Need help?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh...yeah.  My wife is pregnant with twins.”  He mumbled softly.  “I want to get her some nice stuff.  She’s still working a high stress job, so I want to get her stuff for when she gets back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girl nodded.  “Alright so clothes?  Pyjamas?  Both?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Both I guess.”  Derek shrugged as he followed her around the store.  “My wife is pretty tiny...like size six normally.  And she’s still small but with twins and stuff…”  He started to ramble.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The woman smiled softly as they walked through and she grabbed different things.  “So what kind of colours does your wife like?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A smile crossed Derek’s face and he tried to shrug it off.  “Uh...she looks really good in red.”  He mumbled softly.  “She wears lots of blues, blacks, greens, and purples...but she looks really good in red.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fran walked by and shook her head.  “My son is a lovesick fool.”  She commented, taking a few of the items out of Derek’s hands.  “There are dresses over there.”  Pointing to a corner of the store.  “I’m going to buy Emily a sweater and a pair of pants,  I’m going to head to the baby store after this, just text me when you’re done.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded and headed over to the dresses, looking through them.  A red one caught his eye and he pulled it out.  He knew Emily usually wore a small or a medium, but he wasn’t sure about maternity sizing.  Hoping it was the right size, he grabbed it before venturing over to the lingerie section.  He found a sexy number in black and went and gathered the rest of his purchases and brought them to the front.  Paying for them, he gave the clerk a smile before heading out of the store.  Sitting down on the bench outside, he pulled out his phone and sent a quick text to Emily.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hey Princess.  Thinking of you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>His lips turned up into a smile as he saw the telltale three dots appear on his screen.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Thinking of you too.  Gonna be away for at least a day, maybe more.  Heading to Texas.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed, the toughest part of the job right now was being away from her.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Alright.  Love you and stay safe.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Love you too.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Emily leaned back in her seat and stared out the window.  Her phone buzzed and she smiled, knowing it was Derek.  Tara looked at her boss and her eyebrows arched.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, so this has been bothering me FOREVER.”  Tara started dramatically.  “So tell me the EPIC love story between Derek Morgan and Emily Prentiss - now Morgan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ dropped in the seat beside Tara and stared at her friend.  “Yes Emily, do tell.  I mean, we all kind of figured out that you guys were in love with each other...but you two were too dumb to figure it out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Emily looked at her phone.  They still had a few hours in the air before they arrived in Texas.  “Okay, well, we were never supposed to fall in love.  We weren’t even really dating just having sex.  Really really good sex.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ nodded.  “You guys were really good at hiding it.  Like you hid it from a bunch of profilers for how long?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Smirking, Emily shrugged, her hands rubbing her belly.  “Two years.”  She said.  “At first we just did it after a hard case, then it became a constant.  And then...Doyle happened.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Emily was undercover.  Doyle was an international terrorist and he came back for revenge on Emily.  We almost lost her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded.  “Yeah that’s when I knew.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Emily, baby.  Stay with me.”  His voice broke through her subconscious.  Her eyes focused for the merest second on his face, on his soft brown eyes.  </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>Use your voice Emily</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>. She chastised herself.  Only blood bubbled from her mouth instead of words.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Her vision swam and she went limp in his arms, the effort of staying awake, of staying present, too much energy.  She could hear his panicked cries, feel his cheek against hers.  There was nothing more than she wanted, right in that moment, than to tell Derek how much she loved him.  Instead her body twitched as she struggled for breath.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She awoke in Bethesda, crying for Derek.  But she was dead.  For all intents and purposes, she was dead.  Legally dead.  JJ and Hotch came to visit her and tell her about their plans.  She was dead.  She could have no contact with anyone.  Her life as she knew it was over.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Once she was healthy enough to move, she was on her way to Paris.  She loved Paris.  She and Derek spoke about some day going together.  Making love with the Eiffel tower in the distance.  She was back here.  Alone.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She got brave enough to look up the team on social media.  Her fingers hovered over the keyboard, wanting desperately to send Derek a message.  Anything.  Each time was so painful, too painful.  So she stopped.  She had settled, had accepted that her life was never going to be with Derek.  JJ kept her up to date with the team as best she could, but Emily asked her to stop.  Their lives moved on.  Hers had stopped.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Then JJ messaged her.  She was able to come back to DC.  She was alive again.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>In his arms, she was home.  His scent surrounded her.  His warmth covered her.  She was finally safe.  After seven months of being alone and torture, she was finally safe.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I love you.”  She whispered, into his chest.  So soft she wasn’t sure he even heard her.  His grip tightened and she knew.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jesus, they could make a movie about your guys’ love story.”  Tara said, shaking her head.  “Seriously.  Killed by an international arms dealer then comes back from the dead.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You forgot the love of your life hunting down the international arms dealer to seek vengeance.”  JJ added.  “For seven months, Derek tracked Doyle so he could kill him himself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shrugged and looked out the window.  “We kind of fell back into old patterns before we admitted that we were more than just…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck buddies.”  Tara supplied.  “That you were </span>
  <em>
    <span>soulmates.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rolling her eyes, Emily made a face to her friends.  “Yeah thanks for that.”  Their conversation slowed to a lull and Spencer walked by, giving Emily a small smile.  “What can I do for you, Reid?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He placed a small bottle of pills in front of Emily.  “I was doing research and it says that with pregnancies with multiples, women need more folic acid.  I’m unsure if your OBGYN told you that.  Folic acid is one of the most important vitamins during gestation.”  He blushed and gave Emily a small shrug.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks Spencer.  I’ll be sure to take an extra one.”  Emily gave him a wide smile and squeezed his forearm.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His face lit up and he sat down in the row beside them.  “I also created a list of risks that are common with multiples.  Things from preeclampsia, to anemia and gestational diabetes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded, her hand protectively over her abdomen.  “Yeah, I’m already anemic.”  She told the younger agent.  Nothing terrible right now but I’m supposed to keep an eye out and try to eat more iron rich foods.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll make you a list of iron rich foods.”  He said with a smile.  “That way you don’t need to rely on supplements that are harder on your system than the natural source.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tara and JJ exchanged glances and smiled as Spencer rambled on about the healthiest forms of iron for expectant women while Emily listened intently, rubbing her baby belly.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0039"><h2>39. Saying I love you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Emily and Derek's love story continues through flashbacks.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>People asked for more of Derek and Emily's love story - so here is some more.  I'll continue to add in flashbacks of their love story - it will be in italics.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>― Friedrich Nietzsche </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Emily hadn’t been on the team very long, less than a year, when it happened the first time.  It was one of those cases that seemed to stick with the team.  Derek found her alone at the bar, a glass of scotch in one hand, a cigarette in the other.  His eyebrows arched and she shrugged, a silent acceptance of the situation and her faults.  Sliding into the open stool beside her, he motioned for two more scotches and took a long sip.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Didn’t know you smoked.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Don’t.  Usually.  Only when I’m stressed.”  She replied, turning the cigarette in her fingers and finally butting it out.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The bar was the closest one to Quantico, one that he had visited often, though Emily being there was new.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Are you okay, Prentiss?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Her finger ran over the edge of her glass in slow circles.  “Fine.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She wasn’t.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They called cabs that night and stumbled into his place.  At first, he was happy letting her sleep in his bed to sleep off the haze of alcohol, but her warm hand on his wrist pulled him into the sheets with her.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She tasted like scotch and cigarettes.  Her skin was soft and responsive under his movements.  He woke up the next morning, her hair covering the pillow next to him, her scent on his skin. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She didn’t stay for breakfast, grabbing her clothes and ordering an uber when he was in the shower.  At work the next day they exchanged knowing looks but went on their way.  Nothing had changed between them.  They argued as normal, were partnered as normal, things were EASY between them.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The next time it happened, they stumbled back to her hotel room, all teeth and hands, eternally grateful that she had an end room.  He left later that night, walking down the hallway in a walk of shame that wasn’t shameful at all.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It wasn’t until the situation with the cult, Benjamin’s Believers, that he realised that their casual thing wasn’t quite so casual to him anymore.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He couldn’t hide the fear and panic in his voice hearing the story on the news.  His heart hammered against his chest, his body breaking into a cold sweat.  This wasn’t happening.  He had no doubt that Reid and Emily could take care of the situation, take care of themselves, but there was always that little inkling of a feeling that maybe something could go wrong.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And wrong they went.  He heard her voice through the headphones, her gasps of pain, her cries.  Each sound made his heart break a little more.  He pulled off the headphones and tossed them to the side, stomping out of the tent.  Rossi and Hotch let him go.  They were all involved, but they weren’t sure the reason for his outburst, but both were too wrapped up in the case to really notice.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He paced behind the line of officers, his eyes flicking towards the compound desperately.  He didn’t pray, everyone knew that, but he sent a quick request for whoever was up there.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That night, he was thankful that he was the one sent to notify her.  He got to hear her voice.  Even though she wasn’t talking directly to him, she was still talking and he got to answer her.  Sure, the answers were with blinks and nods, but he got to answer..</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Emily laid on the bed, her breathing laboured and painful.  Everyone knew that joining the bureau, you always ran the risk of being injured, and she was no exception.  She laid there, waiting for a sign.  She was okay.  She knew she had a broken rib, maybe two, and she’d be bearing some amazing shiners for the next few days, if not a week.  But she would survive.  Unless anything else happened.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hearing Derek’s voice sent a shock of comfort and pleasure through her.  She could tell by the intonation of his words, the strong cadence that he was stressed.  Worried.  Almost panicked.  But he was there.  The acrid smoke started to burn her lungs, the heat lapping at their heels.  She gulped the fresh air, filling her lungs despite the pain that streaked through her with each breath.  Each breath stretched her broken ribs beyond their capabilities, causing shooting pain through her body.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But she was alive.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>His arms were around her, gentle and supportive.  He led her to the first aid tent, and then sat with her in the ambulance.  She swore up and down that she was fine, that she just wanted to get to the hotel.  The X Rays showed broken ribs and she was sent home with a prescription of morphine and a rest.  Derek offered to take Emily back to the hotel, watching as the rest of the team trickled out to see Reid.  They were alone.  Emily looked so small and tiny in the oversized hospital gown in the hospital bed.  Pain medication curtained her eyes in a fuzziness.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“‘M okay.”  She mumbled, fumbling with the IV in her arm.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Wait until the nurse comes and takes that out.”  Derek chastised softly.  “And listen to them.  Take the drugs, and take a rest.  You’re not okay.  You have two broken ribs and lots of bruises.  You’re lucky that you didn’t puncture an internal organ.  You’re not okay.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She slumped against the bed and closed her eyes.  “I didn’t wanna let Reid get hurt.”  She mumbled.  Her dark hair covered her face and she yawned deeply.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I know you didn’t, Princess.  You are so brave.”  He reached out and brushed some of her hair off her face.  Her eyes fluttered and she gave him a dopey smile.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It wasn’t long before the nurse came and took out her IV and Derek helped her into his oversized sweater that he brought her.  She sat in the wheelchair, too stoned and too sore to fight him on using it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Helping her into her room, Derek rushed over to his room and grabbed his bag.  He didn’t care if they were caught, or if any of them saw, there was no way that he was going to let her out of his sight.  Not tonight.  Not after everything that happened.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I wanna shower.”  She slurred.  “I smell like a hospital.”  Almost tripping over her own two feet, Emily headed towards the washroom.  Derek sighed and grabbed her hips gently.  He wasn’t going to argue, but he knew she couldn’t do it alone and she was too damn stubborn to ask for help.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The water was hot and he shielded her from most of it.  Gently he washed her hair and took his time washing her ivory skin.  Bruises marred her skin, and he winced as he tried to wash her as gently as he could.  She was too out of it to notice.  Turning off the water, he gently dried her body, taking care to use feather light touches.  Dressing her in a pair of clean underwear and his tshirt, he tucked her into the king sized bed.  She was asleep before her head hit her pillow.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He watched her sleep, her chest rising and falling.  Changing into a pair of sweats, he sat on the edge of the bed and watched her.  Her breathing, adjusting pillows when she looked uncomfortable, pulled the blanket around her when she looked cold.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A soft knock at the door brought him to his feet.  He opened the door and found JJ, tank top and flannel pants, and a thoroughly confused look on her face.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Derek?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He chewed on the inside of his cheek, he reached for a hoodie that was on the top of his bag and pulled it on before pulling the lock on the door and shutting it.  “I...uh...I’m just…”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>JJ’s eyebrow arched, her arms crossed against her chest.  “So you’re Emily’s mystery guy.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Come again?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“We knew, well Garcia and I knew, that Emily had a guy that she was seeing.  Sometimes we could smell cologne on her, or find a tshirt in her house that obviously wasn’t hers.  But she wouldn’t tell us.”  JJ shrugged.  “You two are good together.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“We’re not together.”  Derek mumbled, shifting his weight from foot to foot.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The blonde shook her head but didn’t elaborate. “How is she?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Out cold.  I just...wanted to make sure she was okay.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah, me too.”  JJ squeezed his forearm before turning and leaving.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Derek turned and quickly locked the door, and turned off the lights.  Climbing into bed, he wrapped his arm around Emily, making sure that she didn’t wake.  He didn’t sleep well, waking every few hours to check on Emily.  She didn’t stir.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He knew then that their casual thing, at least for him, wasn’t so casual anymore.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>On the jet, he stole glances at Emily who was talking to Spencer.  He caught her eye and gave her a smile before returning to his conversation with Hotch.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>At Quantico, he grabbed her bag without speaking and threw it in his truck.  “Get in.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“But my car…”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“When you’re healthy enough to drive it, we’ll get it.  I’ll take you home and you can get some clothes, but I’m not letting you stay home alone.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She opened her mouth to argue, but a glare caused her to close it.  Slowly, silently, she climbed into the truck and buckled herself in.  His profile lit up in the streetlights and she stared at him.  He was beautiful, far more beautiful than she was.  His perfectly chiseled jawline, the five o’clock shadow that stayed at five o’clock, his long eyelashes, his slightly upturned nose.  And not to mention his body.  Beautiful.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m not.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Emily jumped, yelped, then hissed.  “Hunh?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You were staring at me and said beautiful.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Groaning, Emily slumped as best she could against the seat.  They drove in silence until they reached her condo.  Fuck stairs.  Reading her mind, he held out his hand.  “I can pack you a bag.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Derek.”  Her face flushed imagining him going through her underwear drawer.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’ve seen your underwear before, Princess.  And I’ve seen you without underwear.  I’ll be quick.”  He wiggled his fingers until she passed his keys over.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>True to his word, he came back a few minutes later with a duffle bag and he gave her a smile.  “Let’s get you into bed.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The drive to his place was quick and she was fading fast.  By the time they reached his house, Derek shouldered their bags and gently scooped her up.  She didn’t even complain, just rested her head on his chest.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Her dark eyes followed him as he undressed her and pulled his Chicago PD tshirt over her head.  He pulled back his sheets and helped her under before grabbing a bottle of water and her pills.  The pain was almost unbearable so she took one, leaning back against the pillows watching him undress.  His muscles rippled in the soft light as he tugged on a pair of loose cotton pants before sliding under the covers with her.  Her heart skipped a beat, feeling how easily they did this.  Like home how, maybe someday they could do this for real.  The drugs started to make her head spin and she laid down, sinking into the covers and the mattress.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Go to sleep, Princess.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>His voice was calming, but so far away.  Licking her lips, Emily felt her body slowly drift to sleep, her mind a bit slower.  She groped around blindly until she found his hand and she tugged on it until he spooned up behind her.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She sighed heavily and tried to let her mind rest.  At least no one knew she caught FEELINGS for Derek Morgan.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The next morning she awoke to scrambled eggs and toast, and a cup of strong coffee with Splenda.  He read to her while she relaxed and dozed on and off.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>For the first time in her time on this earth, Emily thought that maybe spending her life with someone wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.  Derek smiled as he watched Emily’s eyes close and he leaned down, pressing a kiss on her forehead.  His heart ached for Monday when he would drive her to work and they would just be Morgan and Prentiss again.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>They did go back to Morgan and Prentiss, for far longer than either of them would like to admit.  It went back to easy times with scotch, tequila, and whiskey fanning the flames.  It went back to easy no strings attached sex, with both of them knowing that there were strings connected to their hearts and emotions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was back to Prentiss and Morgan until he held her body, watching the life drain out of her, and by that point it was too late.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tara looked at Emily who was nursing the glass of sparkling water while the darker woman sipped her scotch.  She shook her head and gave her boss a smile.  “So, literally, you two were meant to be together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily laughed heartily, a hand on her baby belly.  “At first we just fit together sexually, it wasn’t until later that we realised that we fit together in everything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well you guys fit together at work too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shrugging, Emily took another sip of the water.  “Yeah, we did.  And we still do.  I mean, I love Matt and Luke and they fit together in the team perfectly, but there are days that I miss Derek.  We’re lucky that both of us can still work at the bureau...but...sometimes I miss him beside me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her friend nodded and ordered them another round of nachos, pulling out a chair when JJ walked into the hotel bar.  The blonde ordered herself a glass of white wine and settled in beside them.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well you two are lucky.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded in agreement.  “It’s why we always send each other texts goodnight, and say I love you whenever we can.”  She said softly.  “Because we were so close to having none of it.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0040"><h2>40. Repercussions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Emily returns from her case and it hits close to home.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Holy shit, 40 chapters!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“This is the true measure of love: when we believe that we alone can love, that no one could ever have loved so before us, and that no one will ever love in the same way after us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>― </span>
  <b>Johann Wolfgang von Goeth</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Emily fingered the soft material and gave her mother-in-law a smile.  “Thank you so much for this, Fran.”  She said looking at the clothes that the older woman had purchased for her.  Two maternity sweaters, both that she could wear after.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This one is a nursing sweater.”  Fran explained.  “This top part lifts.”  She passed the other shirt to Emily.  “And this one, it’s stretchy, but it also has panels you can zip in so it will fit over a baby carrier, and you can nurse under it.”  She shrugged and gave the younger woman a smile.  “There are also a couple of pairs of pants in there with adjustable stretchy panels.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you.”  Emily gave her mother-in-law a gentle hug.  “I’m so sorry that I had to leave and cut our visit short.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fran shook her head.  “It’s fine.  You were saving lives, and I’ll come and visit you more often now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Derek looked and gave them a smile.  “Okay, Princess.  It’s time that you go to bed and take a nap.”  He said looking at his wife sternly.  “I heard that you guys had a tough case and you were up all night.  Go.”  He ordered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sighing, Emily nodded and gave her mother-in-law one more time before heading to their bedroom.  She stripped off her work clothes and pulled on an oversized shirt.  Crawling into bed closed her eyes and quickly fell asleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You take care of your wife.”  Fran told her son, giving him a strong hug.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know I will, Ma.”  He said softly, his arms tightening around her.  “Have a safe trip.”  Watching as his mother went through security, he headed back to the vehicle and back home.  The house was silent as he walked in, a sign, he hoped, that Emily was able to get a few hours of sleep.  He hadn’t gotten the whole run down on the case but Penelope had given him a brief that it was hard, long, and both physically and mentally taxing.  He slowly opened the bedroom door and peered in.  She was sprawled out on the bed, her arm draped over her belly protectively.  It was a sight he would never get tired of.  Now he knew why Matt had four kids.  Not wanting to wake her, he moved to shut the door, but her eyes fluttered open.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey babe.”  He whispered sitting on the edge of the bed.  “Sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She was still half asleep, her eyelids heavy, long eyelashes fluttering.  “Don’t be.  If I sleep too much now, I’ll be up all night.”  She reasoned, her eyes opening fully.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Doubtful, you’ll probably sleep through the night.”  He reassured her, carding his fingers through her hair and massaging her scalp lightly.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her eyes fluttered closed again and she groaned, swatting clumsily at his hand.  “We haven’t had a lot of time to spend together.”  She reasoned.  Sitting up, she gave him a bright smile, smoothing her hair down with her hands.  “Maybe we can start to look at prenatal classes and stuff.”  She suggested stretching out like a cat, the noises that slipped out of her mouth making him fall in love with her over and over again.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re cute.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shut up.”  Her reply was quick and he laughed.  “You stay in bed and I’ll grab an iPad and we can start to look at different classes.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can you get me some peanut butter cookies your mom made?”  She called, batting her eyelashes at him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He placed some cookies on a tray and poured a glass of milk.  Snagging the iPad from the charging dock he headed back to the bedroom where Emily was sitting up against the headboard.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ma froze a bunch of cookies.”  He said smiling as Emily grabbed one and took a large bite.  “She also made some chocolate ones, and another type.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She grinned and chewed slowly.  “Your mother is a godsend.”  She said finally.  “Alright, let’s look at some classes.”  Emily watched as Derek flipped through some pages. “Okay, lamaze is obviously the first one.”  She said, sipping her glass of milk.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Obviously.”  He smirked and tapped on it, signing them up for the weekend classes.  “How about prenatal yoga?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If we can swing it sure.  There’s also a class about surviving with multiples.  We should probably take that one.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He nodded and signed them up for a few different classes before closing the iPad cover.  “So, how are my babies doing?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Emily shrugged and lifted her shirt revealing her belly.  “Still haven’t felt any movements, but Reid told me that multiples don’t necessarily move earlier than singleton pregnancies.  He’s done a bunch of research about pregnancy with multiples.  It’s sweet.  A bit overwhelming, but sweet.”  She watched his hand on her belly, the contrast between his dark skin and her pale skin.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I rub the lotion into your belly?” He asked softly, his eyes gauging her reaction.  He knew that all the changes in her body were new and he didn’t want to push her.  He found her new body beautiful, but there were days that he found her standing in front of the mirror staring at herself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She nodded and stripped off her shirt, leaving her naked from the waist up.  His eyes were huge and he stared at her, swallowing hard.  With shaking hands, he took some of the cream and rubbed it softly into the skin of her abdomen.  He watched it melt and disappear into her skin using the pads of his fingertips to rub it in.  His eyes kept trailing up to her breasts before pulling away.  His cheeks darkened and he gave her a smile.  “You’re beautiful.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her dark eyes sparked and Emily returned the smile, pulling him down for a deep kiss, this teeth clashing, their tongues dueling.  He was careful as he rolled her over, bathing her with kisses.</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>Her scream pierced his unconsciousness.  Sitting up, he paused momentarily when he heard her scream again.  Dark hair was plastered to her forehead, sticky with sweat.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Em…”  He whispered softly, his hand rubbing her bare shoulder.  “Emily.”  Her skin was damp and slick with sweat.  She was still held under, suffocating by her nightmares.  Gently he shook her, watching her eyes shoot open.  She looked around desperately, her hands flying to her abdomen and rubbing it.  Her breathing was still coming in deep desperate gasps, tears staining her cheeks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m okay.”  She whispered softly.  “I’m...okay.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stared at her, his eyebrows arched.  “Do you want to go for a bath?”  Derek whispered slowly, pulling her towards him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She nodded slowly, not quite trusting her voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay.”  He got out of bed slowly and carefully looped his arm under her legs and the other around her back.  She cuddled up against him, her cheek warm against his chest.  She was still light, despite being 4 months pregnant and he carried her carefully to the washroom.  With a quick flick of the wrist the tub started to fill up and he lowered the two of them into it, her slotted between his thighs.  “Want to talk about it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Emily rested heavily against his chest and she shrugged, her fingers dancing over the warm water.  “The case we had was pretty bad.”  She mumbled.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I figured.”  His hands draped around her middle gently.  “What was so bad about it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her body stiffened and her hands came up to her face in an attempt to wipe away tears that had fallen.  “First of all, we didn’t catch the guy.”  She said angrily.  “And...he was killing interracial couples.  White women.  Black men.”  Her voice shook as she spoke.  “He took their babies and buried them alive.  We found mass graves.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, Princess.”  He whispered feeling her stiffen in his arms.  Her soft sobs echoed in the tiled space and he held her tight.  “I’m so sorry you had to see that.”  His lips fluttered against her skin.  “I’m so sorry, baby.  But you’re safe.  I’m safe.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She sobbed and he wondered what she had seen.  Had she gone to the crime scene?  Even if she hadn’t he knew how graphic the pictures could be.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you.”  He whispered.  “You’re safe.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The water began to grow cold around them and he slowly sat her up.  Reaching around her, he drained the tub and got out.  He wrapped a towel around his waist and grabbed her fuzzy robe.  Wrapping her tight, he held his arms out to her and she carefully got out of the tub.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s go watch something on TV and we can cuddle.  I won’t let you go.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She nodded and they walked back to the bedroom where she tugged on a heavy hoodie and sweats and he pulled on sweats and a tshirt.  Slowly they walked to the main room where Derek gathered all of their blankets and he made a nest on the couch, pulling Emily into his arms.  “You’re okay.”  He whispered, as he buried his face in her hair and held her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Against his skin he could feel her heart hammering.  Fast.  Erratic.  There were no words he could say that would make this situation better.  Turning on a pointless comedy, Derek kept his lips pressed to her skin until he felt her heartbeat slowly begin to return to normal and soon he felt her drift off to a restless sleep.  She tossed and wriggled in his arms, though calming at his soft whispers.  It wasn’t until the sun peered over the horizon that she had finally calmed in his arms.  Thankful that their blinds were thick and drawn, they slept on, his body shielding hers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was midday when she awoke, her stomach grumbling angrily from the lack of food.  She was lying on the couch, a blanket pulled up to her chest.  Derek looked over and gave her a smile.  “Morning, Princess.  Are you feeling better?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She shrugged and sat up, running her hands through her dark hair.  “I woke up because I’m hungry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fair enough.”  He smiled softly and got to his feet.  “What can I make you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Emily blinked a few times before speaking.  “Something small maybe?  Scrambled eggs?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He nodded and pressed a kiss to the top of her head before heading to the kitchen.  Putting bread in the toaster, he made a plate of scrambled eggs and brought them back to her.  She ate in silence before looking up and giving him a small smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She sighed heavily and took another bite of her eggs.  “Yeah, I just thought that…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You could handle it.”  He dropped down beside her and rested a hand on her abdomen.  “I know, and I understand the feeling, but we’re married.  We’re more than just partners now, we’re a team.  We’re together, no matter what”  Taking her hand he kissed her palm.  “We took vows.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know.”  She gave him a tight lipped smile.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He let the subject drop and just raked his fingers through her hair softly.  “You’re pretty amazing, you know that?”  He mused softly.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Emily leaned against him, her head on his shoulder.  “So are you.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His hands rested on her belly and he tapped his fingers against the soft roundness gently.  “I can’t wait until we get to feel these two moving.”  He said, his fingertips dancing over her skin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Me too.”  Emily watched his hands on her abdomen.  “Though, I’m sure once they start racing around in there I’m sure I’ll feel different.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He smiled, the soft sweet gentle smile that he rarely showed, the ones that he shot her across the bullpen.  The ones that he gave her when she did something </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> incredible that he couldn’t keep it to himself.  “You’re awesome.  You are so amazing and you’re going to be an amazing mother.  I’m in awe of you every single day.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her face lit up.  The sight that he loved with every fiber of his being.  The glow that seemed to radiate from her soul, washing over the two of them. When they first met, her smiles were rare.  A treat.  The longer they were together, the less rare they became, though he still liked to think that she saved those special smiles just for him.  “You’re going to be an amazing father.”  Pulling him down for a gentle kiss, their lips barely brushing.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She was still anxious, he could see that, but she was more relaxed.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You ready for the ultrasound?”  He asked, raking his fingers through her hair.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Emily smiled.  “Yeah, I am.  I want to make sure that these little….nuggets.  Beans?  Babes….are okay.”  She said honestly.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And that you’re okay.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, yeah.”  Derek laughed and got to his feet.  “Because you, darling, are the love of my life.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her laugh rained down, the soft tinkling music to his tired ears.  “I love you too, kiss ass.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0041"><h2>41. Deal breaker</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>More tests for Derek and Emily, and more tests for their friends.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“You are the answer to every prayer I've offered. You are a song, a dream, a whisper, and I don't know how I could have lived without you for as long as I have.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>― </span>
  <b>Nicholas Sparks, </b>
  <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/1498135">
    <b>The Notebook</b>
  </a>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re sure you’re okay?”  Emily asked as Derek pulled into the parking lot of the OBGYN.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Emily, we’re fine.  It’s just a consult.  You go to your appointment and then take it easy for the rest of the day, alright?”  JJ’s voice came through the phone.  “And then when you come back tomorrow, come with lots of pictures of your beautiful big headed Morgan babies.  I love you, Mama.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hanging up the phone, Emily shoved it in her purse and she gave Derek a smile.  “Okay, let’s go in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their fingers interlaced and he gave her hand a soft squeeze.  Her leg jiggled nervously until Dr. Montgomery walked through the door.  “Emily Morgan?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It still sent a thrill through her body when she heard her name called “Emily Morgan” no matter how many times it was said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dr Montgomery gave them a wide smile and ushered them into the exam room.  “So, how are things going?  Any changes since we last saw each other?  How are you feeling, Emily?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily hopped up on the exam table and shrugged.  “Things are going pretty well, still haven’t felt any movement.”  She said, her hand rubbing small circles on her belly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The doctor laughed and shook her head.  “That’s normal, though in the next week or so you should hopefully start feeling something.”  Turning to the file in her hand, she gave the couple a smile.  “So, we’re going to take some samples of the amniotic fluid today and then we’ll run it for testing.  But, how about before we do that we get some glamour shots of these two?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grinning, Emily nodded and rolled up her shirt.  “Yes, let’s get some glamour shots.”  She said reaching for Derek’s hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The doctor laughed softly and wheeled the ultrasound machine closer.  Squirting some gel on Emily’s abdomen, she moved the wand around and smiled.  “There is baby A.”  She said, taking a few pictures before moving the wand.  “And here’s baby B.  Both look good.  Strong.  Baby A is just moving in there.”  She commented with a smile.  “Baby B seems a lot more relaxed, but it could just be right now.  Who knows?”  She smiled and took a few more pictures before printing them off and handing them to Derek.  “There you go, Daddy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He grinned and flipped through the pictures.  “Thanks.”  Leaning down, he pressed a soft kiss on Emily’s forehead.  “You’re doing so great, babe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily smiled and looked up at the doctor.  “So what’s next?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Next, I’m going to get you to get changed into a gown.  I’ll put a topical numbing cream on your abdomen and I’m going to insert a needle into your uterus and into each baby’s amniotic sac and draw out some fluid.  It will replenish itself in the next 24 hours.  We’ve already gone over the risks and the side effects.  You’ll probably feel crampy and bloated, but you shouldn’t be in pain.”  Handing Emily a gown, she got to her feet.  “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sitting up, Emily pulled off her shirt and pulled on the gown.  “Hey, it’s gonna be fine.  I’ve been stabbed enough, what is two more times?”  She questioned, grabbing Derek’s hand and kissing the palm.  “Then we can make sure that nothing is wrong with them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.”  Derek replied, shaking his head.  “I just don’t like to see you in pain.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She laughed again laid back down on the exam table.  “Derek, I’m going to be pushing not one, but two of your big headed children out of my vagina.  Planning on doing it without drugs.  There’s going to be pain.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was about to say something when there was a soft knock at the door and Dr. Montgomery walked through with a nurse following her.  The procedure itself was quick.  Uncomfortable, but not particularly painful.  Once it was over, Emily changed back into her clothes and they walked out together, hand in hand, to book their next appointment.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They picked up some food on the way home with plans to take it easy and cuddle, giving Emily a chance to recuperate.  Pulling into the driveway Derek helped her out, his arm around her waist when they both heard a car door slam.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU, TAALA.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Worried glances were exchanged and Derek turned, seeing Mackenzie standing in the middle of the driveway, her hands crossed across her chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kenzie, it’s not that big of a deal.  It’s just at work.”  The older woman reasoned, unbuckling Noah from his carseat.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“NOT A BIG DEAL?!  YOUR COWORKERS THINK YOU’RE MARRIED TO A MAN!”  The younger of the two yelled.  “THEY THINK YOU’RE MARRIED TO SOMEONE NAMED KEN.  THE </span>
  <b>
    <em>LOOK</em>
  </b>
  <span> THEY GAVE ME WHEN I ASKED FOR MY WIFE…”  She shook off her wife’s embrace and took a few steps back.  “You’re embarrassed of us.  Of me.”  Her voice shook with anger and she stormed off inside.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait.  Kenzie.”  Taala jogged after her wife leaving a confused Noah standing in the driveway.  He walked over to them, Derek lifting him up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mama mad.”  He said softly, before his fingers found his mouth and he sucked nervously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Mama’s mad.”  Derek whispered as he helped his wife inside along with the little boy.  “I’ll text Mackenzie and let her know that we have Noah.”  He whispered as he helped them to the couch.  They could still hear yelling from over the fence and Emily frowned, hugging the little boy close.  “I’ll go see what’s going on.”  Walking out back, he watched silently as Mackenzie paced around the backyard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I LOVE you, Taala.  I’ve been in love with you since I was 23 and I thought you were in love with me too.  We have a son together, we’re married and yet you STILL CAN’T TELL PEOPLE THAT YOU LOVE A WOMAN.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t understand.  It’s harder for me…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie’s eyes flashed and her hands clenched at her sides.  “YOU CAN’T KEEP USING THAT EXCUSE, TAALA.  You’re not in the Middle East anymore!  We’re safe.  We’re legally married.  Noah deserves mothers that are in this together and this new baby deserves one too.”  Tears streamed down her face and she turned, seeing Derek standing there silently.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Noah is with Emily.”  He said softly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The younger woman nodded as she tried desperately to wipe the tears from her face.  Storming past her wife, she grabbed her motorcycle helmet and tore out of the driveway with a squeal of tires.  Derek gave Taala a hard look and she sighed, raking her fingers through her hair.  “It’s not what it sounds like.  We just...I…”  Tears ran down her face and she shook her head.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have Noah.  Emily’s looking after him.”  He said softly.  “Do you know where Mackenzie would go?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taala twisted her hair up before letting it fall.  “At the gym.”  She said quietly.  “The dingy one, down on Borden Street.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek nodded and turned to go back inside.  “I’ll go get her.”  He said quietly.  “I’m not sure what is going on, but…”  Walking back inside the house, he looked down at his wife who was cuddled up on the couch with Noah.  “You okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded.  “Yeah, we’re going to go take a nap pretty soon.”  She said kissing Noah’s head.  The little boy nodded slowly, his fingers still in his mouth.  “Buddy, can Emily go talk with Derek for a couple of minutes?  Then we’ll go nap?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded and focused on the show that was on the TV.  Derek leaned down and helped Emily to her feet, his arm around her waist.  “What’s going on?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek shrugged.  “I’m not sure, but Mackenzie is gone and Taala is at home crying.  Are you sure you’re okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded.  “Yeah, I’m fine.  Just tired and a bit crampy.  I’ll take Noah to bed with me and just...text me when you come back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright.”  He turned to Noah and knelt down in front of the little boy.  “Hey Noah, Derek is going to go for a little while.  Can you take care of Emily for me?  Can you make sure that Emily takes  a nap?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The little boy nodded seriously.  “Yeah I do.”  He stood up and walked over to Emily, taking her hand.  “Emmy, we go nap.”  He announced.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek leaned down and gave Emily a gentle kiss.  “Go nap.”  He ordered.  “Take it easy.”  He followed the two into the master bedroom and helped Noah onto the bed.  The little boy laid down and gave Derek a smile.  Grabbing his keys, he jogged out the door and quickly pulled out of the driveway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew the gym that Mackenzie would be at, not too far from their place.  Her motorcycle was parked in the front and he parked alongside it, waking in.  Flashing his creds to the kid working at the desk, he walked over to Mackenzie who was at the punching bag, delivering punches to it like her life depended on it.  Her shirt was darkened with sweat as she punched, her hands hastily wrapped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re gonna break a knuckle.”  He commented, holding onto the swinging bag.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She glared and took another wild swing, throwing all of her weight behind it.  She was panting, sweat mixing with the tears on her flushed face.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, kid.”  He said softly, walking over and holding her softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie’s face crumpled and she dropped to the ground, the emotions breaking through the walls she had built up.  “She…she’s embarrassed of us.”  Her voice was small and broken. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Derek sat down on the ground with Mackenzie until she regained enough composure to stand.  “Let’s go back.  I’ll drive and we can get your bike tomorrow.  You need to go talk to your wife.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The younger woman stiffened, but followed Derek to his vehicle.  He chose to stay silent, unsure if his words would fan the flames.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She...I’m pregnant.  I went to talk to her at the hospital and they asked me if I was a sister of her husband.  Since Noah is black, they assumed that her husband, Ken, was also black.”  Mackenzie picked at her nails before looking out the window.  “She’s never told anyone that we’re married.  It’s why she never came to any appointment with Noah, or any classes.  She’s embarrassed of who we are.”  Her nails were shredded by the time they got back.  “I...I can’t talk to her.  Not right now.”  Sighing, she stared out the window as they pulled into the driveway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek looked over at her.  “You don’t have to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shrugged and wiped her face with the collar of her shirt.  “I’ll call base housing and I'm sure they can get me into officer’s quarters for a few days.”  Her fingernails dug into the palms of her hands leaving small half moon shaped indents in the skin.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They exited the SUV and walked inside.  The house was still quiet and Derek stole a peek, happy to see Noah and Emily sleeping soundly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Or you could stay here.”  Derek reasoned as he gave her a bottle of water.  “It’s close, you can get your uniforms and stuff…”  He shrugged.  “Just a thought.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her fingers raked through her curls and she nodded.  “Alright, I’m going to go home and grab some stuff.”  Her eyes flitted around and she took a deep breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can do it.”  He gave her a smile.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eyebrows arched and she sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mackenzie, you’re a Marine for crying out loud, you can face your wife.”  Derek teased.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shot him a glare and shook her head.  “Derek, it’s not just that.  I love her so fucking much that I would do anything for her, but…”  Exhaling loudly, she stared up at the ceiling for a few moments.  “Alright.”  She walked out the door, shutting it softly behind her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed and went and set up the spare bedroom before walking out.  Emily gave him a smile, her cheeks rosy from sleep.  “Hey beautiful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Blinking a few times, she rubbed her eyes.  “Did you find Mackenzie?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, she’s going to grab some stuff and stay here for a while.  You okay with some roommates for a bit?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She took a few steps towards him and wrapped his arms around his neck.  “You’re a pretty amazing man, you know that, Derek Morgan?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A smile crossed his face and he leaned down for a soft kiss.  “I have a great role model.  My wife.  She’s pretty amazing.”  He smirked against her lips.  “And she’s so beautiful.  And smart…”  He punctuated each sentence with a soft kiss.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too.”  She said laughing softly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie returned a little while later, a few bags in her arms.  Her face was tired, her eyes swollen and red.  Derek gave her a look, his eyebrows arching and she shook her head.  “I’m going to go into the office for a few hours.”  She said quietly.  “I’ll take Noah to daycare on base for a few hours.”  She twisted her hands in front of her.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He can stay…”  Emily started before Mackenzie looked at her, defeat in her eyes.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, he’s can’t.  You’ve done enough helping for today.”  She said rubbing her eyes.  “I’ll take him,”  Without another word, Mackenzie went into the spare room and returned moments later in uniform with files under her arm.  “Uh...thanks for this.  We’ll be out of your hair as quickly as possible.”  She muttered going and scooping up Noah who was still sleeping.  “And...uh...don’t worry about supper.  Like...don’t worry about us at all.  We’ll do our own thing.  There’s a cafeteria there…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shook her head and gently reached out and placed her hand on the younger woman’s arm.  “Mackenzie, you’re family.  You’re welcome here for as long as you need to be here and you don’t owe us anything, okay?”  She gave her a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The younger woman nodded weakly before turning and heading out the door.  Emily watched her hand rubbing her belly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you know what went on?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek shrugged, wrapping his arm around her and leaning his chin on her shoulder.  “Apparently Taala hasn’t told anyone where she works that she’s married to a woman and Mackenzie found out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily frowned, her arms crossing her chest.  She exhaled audibly, shaking her head.  “I can’t believe her.”  She whispered, venom in her voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hands rested on her stomach, spanning over the small bump.  “Emily, your blood pressure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She huffed and attempted to wiggle out of his embrace.  “Derek, that would be like you not telling anyone that we were married.  In fact, if someone assumed that you were single...you not correcting them.  I would be SO angry with you, like...I’d kill you and then divorce your ass.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whoa whoa whoa.  Back your cute pregnant little behind up.  I would never lie about being married to you, in fact, if I could get it tattooed on my forehead I would.”  Derek said turning her in his arms so they were facing each other.  “So calm your little ass down, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily growled and leaned her head against his chest.  “I hate you sometimes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you love me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She stayed silent and sighed.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I even have your signature tattooed on my chest.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up.”  She muttered, the venom in her voice gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too, beautiful.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0042"><h2>42. Pin Drop</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sometimes it's not who you are, it's where you are.  Sometimes it's both.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Do you think I'm pretty?</p><p>I think you're beautiful</p><p>Beautiful?</p><p>You are so beautiful, it hurts sometimes.”</p><p>― <b>Richelle Mead, </b> <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/335933"> <b>Vampire Academy</b> </a></p><p>Emily watched Mackenzie silently, the younger woman switching from her uniform to long sleeved shirts They had fallen into a comfortable rhythm with Mackenzie and Taala talking through text only about the hand off of their son.  The younger woman threw herself into work, coming home late at night, and waking up early to go for a run with Derek before disappearing for the day.  Noah, when he wasn’t next door with Taala, clung to the adults in the house, sucking nervously on his fingers.  The one time Emily raised her voice in frustration over a case, the little boy burst into tears pleading with her to stop yelling.</p><p>“Are you okay?”</p><p>Mackenzie arched her eyebrows and nodded.  “Yeah, I’m fine.”  </p><p>The older woman let the topic drop, watching the way Mackenzie twisted her sleeves and picked at skin that was barely visible under the material.  “How have you gotten out of having any morning sickness?”  She asked, shaking her head.  “Or...gaining any weight?”</p><p>Finally, a ghost of a smile.  “I’m a marine.  I’ve eaten MREs and some of the Marine training is a bit intense.  This is nothing.”</p><p>Derek came up from behind Mackenzie and shook his head.  “Because Marines go through some sort of torture school and they can eat sand.”</p><p>Looking over her shoulder, Mackenzie shrugged.  “The few, the strong, the brave.  Hoo rah.”  Turning back to Emily she gave her a smile.  “And I’m taller and bigger than you to begin with Emily, I’m going to gain less weight.  And I have one baby, not two.  AND I gain all my weight in my ass.”  She looked back at Derek.  “Plus, he has a big head, those babies are gonna be like 90% bald shiny dome.”</p><p>“Hey!”  Derek rolled his eyes.  “My head isn’t THAT big.”</p><p>Emily rubbed her belly and raised her eyebrows.  “It is pretty big.”</p><p>“I’M big!”</p><p>Mackenzie looked back at Emily. “Again, why you’re going to be bigger than me.”</p><p>The doorbell rang and Derek peeled off to open it and called Mackenzie over.  Her wife was standing in the doorway with Noah.</p><p>“Can we talk?”</p><p>The younger woman took her son and stook a few steps back, putting space between the two of them.  “Go ahead.”</p><p>“Alone?”</p><p>Putting the boy down, Mackenzie nodded.  “Mama will be right back, okay?”</p><p>Noah stared at them and nodded slowly.  “No yellin’, kay?  No yellin.”</p><p>“No yelling.”  Mackenzie repeated softly before walking out with her wife.</p><p>“I’m going to therapy.”</p><p>Mackenzie leaned against the railing and nodded.  “Good.”</p><p>“I want you to move back.  I want us to be a family.”  Taala said softly.  “I want us.”</p><p>“Have you told your colleagues at work about me?” Mackenzie questioned, picking at her nails, her eyes downcast.  She was met by silence.  “When you finally tell them, and you’re out, come back to me.”</p><p>Taala frowned.  “Wait.  Mackenzie…I love you.”</p><p>The darker skinned woman nodded.  “I know you do, and I love you too.  So fucking much.  So much that I put my life at risk being out at work.  But I still do it.”  She crossed her arms over her chest.  “When you love yourself enough to be out, come let me know.”  Giving her wife a small shrug, she headed back inside.  </p><p>The evening was cool, but not cold, and Mackenzie emerged from the bedroom wearing a pair of running leggings, and a long sleeved shirt.  “Wanna go for a run?”  She asked Derek.</p><p>He looked over at Emily who smiled.  “Go, as long as you pick up some Rocky Road ice cream, and some marshmallow fluff.  Oh and peanut butter.”  </p><p>Grinning, he walked over and gave Emily a deep kiss.  “Got it.  Rocky Road ice cream, marshmallow fluff, and peanut butter.”  He went and changed his clothes into a pair of shorts and a hoodie.  “Alright, we’ll be back in an hour, max.”</p><p>They slipped on their shoes, Mackenzie dropped Noah in the running stroller and headed out.  Their regular route had been blocked off for a few days earlier so they turned and headed for another route.  As long as they ran 6 miles, it didn’t really matter where.  Noah was happy in the stroller, used to running with Mackenzie from birth.  They ran in a comfortable silence, taking twists and turns until they pulled to a stop in an empty lot.  Mackenzie pulled out a bottle of water and tossed it towards Derek, checking on Noah who was happily playing with his Spiderman action figures. </p><p>“Things are...better with Taala?”</p><p>Shrugging, Mackenzie took a long swallow of water.  “Starting to, I guess.  Says she’s seeing a therapist.  She wanted us to move back but I told her that until she proves to me, shows me that she’s proud of our family.”  Her fingers raked through her hair to tie it back tightly.  “Does she think it’s <em> easy </em> for me to be out at work?  The black lesbian in the military?  In the Marines?  We can ask Dave about how accepting most Marines are.”  Sighing, she glanced around, the hair on the back of her neck standing up.  They lived in an affluent neighbourhood, but as was true with most cities, a few neighbourhoods away things could change quickly.  “Uh, let’s go.”  She mumbled, closing the zipper on the running stroller.</p><p>“Well well well, what do we have here?”  The words were spit out, laced with cheap liquor and hate.  There were four of them and Mackenzie reached for her phone.  One word, then a pin drop on her phone.  She exchanged glances with Derek.</p><p>“We’re just gonna get going.”  She said softly.  “You gentlemen have a good night.”</p><p>“No, you half breeds aren’t going anywhere.”  He spit out.  She could smell the liquor on his breath.</p><p>“Look man, we don’t want any trouble.”  Derek said, his hands up.  Normally he brought his credentials with him, but today, today of all days, he left them on their dresser.</p><p>“If you didn’t want any trouble you shouldn’t be here.”  One of them said as they closed in.  Squatting in front of the stroller, Mackenzie gave Noah a small smile.  “Noah, stay here until Emily or Umi comes.”  She ordered before she pushed the stroller away and closed the gap between her and Derek.  “We’re so sick of you people coming to our neighbourhood and stealing our shit, then you spit out kids like rabbits and spend your lives on welfare.”</p><p>Mackenzie bit her tongue knowing full well that the two of them had more education than the four of them combined.  The closed in and Mackenzie raised her fists.  Derek turned and faced the other two ready to fight, but four against two was never good odds.</p><p>Emily felt her phone buzz and she glanced at it.  <strong>HELP</strong> and a pin.  Grabbing her gun and credentials, Emily shoved her feet into her shoes and rushed out to her SUV.</p><p>“She’s pregnant!”  Derek yelled watching one of the men toss Mackenzie to the ground.  He threw a punch, only to get hit in the chest by one of the other ones.  He felt the blood drip down his face, another fist to the side of his head.  He was able to take down one before the other two were on him, boots in his ribs, one holding him down.  Glancing over, he saw Mackenzie on the ground with one of the men on top of her.  Fists continued to rain down until he heard a squeal of tires and the sweetest, most beautiful voice, screaming.</p><p>“FBI, get the FUCK away from my husband.”</p><p>Sirens blared, and local police rushed the scene.  He was woozy, his head and chest hurting.  Derek sat up slowly blinking a few times to clear the fog in his head.  “Go check on Kenzie.”  He mumbled as a paramedic walked towards him.  “She’s pregnant.”  </p><hr/><p>He tried to give Emily a reassuring smile, but he’s sure it looked more like a grimace.  She interlaced their fingers, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. </p><p>“How did you find us?”  His tongue traced over the inside of his mouth.  Nothing serious, but a few loose teeth and swollen gums.</p><p>“Mackenzie sent a text and dropped a pin.”  Emily said softly, brushing her free hand over his face softly. “I’m just glad I got there in time.  I was so scared.”</p><p>They pulled into the ambulance bay and Derek winced, each bump jostling his body.  “How’s Kenzie?” </p><p>Emily shrugged.  “Dunno.  They took her away pretty quickly.  JJ took Noah, they’re following.”  Following the paramedics and the stretcher out, Emily grabbed the forms and walked alongside Derek, catching a view of Mackenzie as she was wheeled by.  </p><p>Watching her husband get moved into an exam room, she sat down on the edge of the bed beside him.  “Never leave your gun and creds at home again.”  She whispered softly, trying to make herself comfortable.  “Better yet, stay at home with me and gain sympathy weight.”</p><p>He laughed gingerly and leaned against the thin mattress.  “How about we just do laps of the neighbourhood?  You can invite Tara over and we’ll both take off our shirts.”</p><p>It was her turn to laugh and Emily kissed his temple.  “I’ll be sure to remember that.”  Slowly she climbed off the bed when the doctor walked in and settled on the plastic chair. He did a quick exam and diagnosed Derek with three broken knuckles, a broken rib, and a concussion.</p><p>“How’s Mackenzie”</p><p>The doctor shrugged.  “I’m not sure, I didn’t see her, but I’ll go check on you.  Mister Morgan, please take it easy.  I’ll send someone in to cast up that hand for you.”</p><p>Emily got to her feet and peered out the door seeing JJ walking a still crying Noah up and down the hall.  Derek nodded and Emily stepped out. “Hey, have you heard anything?”</p><p>The blonde shook her head as she tried to calm Noah who was still whimpering.  “Taala is on her way and I can’t go in and check.”  She whispered.  They stood in the hallway whispering until the doors flew open and an incredibly disheveled looking Taala rushed in.  Her dark hair was pulled in a loose ponytail at the nape of her neck, wearing a loose pair of sweats and what looked like one of Mackenzie’s USMC shirts. </p><p>“Where is my wife?”  She demanded, shifting her weight from foot to foot.  They couldn’t hear the conversation between her and her colleague but they heard Taala’s voice again.  “MY WIFE.  Mackenzie Rasheed-Wallace.”  Noah squirmed in JJ’s arms and the blonde put the little boy on his feet.  He ran over to Taala, his arms extended.</p><p>“Umi!  Umi!  Mama and Dek got owwies.”  He said waiting until she picked him up.  Taala looked back at the nurse. </p><p>“This is <em> my </em> son and he wants to go see his <em> mother. </em>”  </p><p>Emily and JJ watched as Taala walked into the other exam room and closed the door behind her.  “How’s Derek?”</p><p>“Broken knuckles, broken rib and a concussion.”  She said with a shrug, her hands rubbing her belly.  “He’ll take a week off before he drives everyone nuts and goes back to work.”  Her eyes were locked on the closed door wishing she knew something about the young woman inside.</p><p>Taala sat by Mackenzie’s beside, Noah on her lap.  Her wife’s face was bandaged, a large white one covering the left side of her face.  Her left arm was in a cast, a monitor attached to her chest and one to her still flat abdomen.  Taala flipped through the file and sighed.  Broken orbital bone, broken left wrist, three broken ribs, bruised kidneys, and a concussion.  Gently, Taala brushed Mackenzie’s hair off her face.  “Oh babe, I’m so sorry.”  She whispered.  She watched her heart monitor until Noah climbed down and opened the door, returning with Emily and JJ.  Taala gave them a tight lipped smile.  </p><p>“How’s Kenzie?”</p><p>“Broken wrist, broken orbital bone, broken ribs, bruised kidneys and a concussion.”  Taala sighed and softly ran her thumb over her wife’s hand.  “They have her sedated to give her body, and the baby a break.”  She said softly.  “But they’re both okay.”</p><p>Emily nodded, her eyes on the younger woman on the bed.  “I’m just glad that she and the baby are alright.”  She walked over and helped Noah up on the bed who sat on the end without moving.  “Derek will be released tonight, but if there’s anything you need us to do.”</p><p>Taala shook her head, not moving from her wife’s bedside.  “No.  Noah and I will stay here tonight.  I’ll go home for a bit and pick up some clothes and contact her CO...but...we need to be together.  I need to be here for my wife.”  She said looking up at Emily and JJ before looking away.</p><p>Nodding, Emily squeezed the other woman’s shoulder.  “Okay, but if you need anything.  Just call.”</p><p>The two other women left the hospital room and JJ looked at her best friend.  “Alright Mama, you’ve helped everyone else.  How are you and the babies feeling?”  JJ reached out and pressed the flat of her hand against the side of Emily’s abdomen.  </p><p>“Okay, I guess.”  Emily admitted.  “I mean, now knowing that Derek is going to be alright, I feel better.  I’ll give the director a call, but how much do you want to bet my idiot husband will want to be back at work tomorrow?”  Her eyebrows arched and she looked at her best friend.  </p><p>JJ shook her head and moved her hand around a bit.  “That isn’t what I asked, Em.  How are YOU doing?”</p><p>“JJ, I’m fine.”  Emily said before giving her friend a smile.  How often had they said that and actually meant it?  “I mean, I was scared, but Derek is going to be okay and so will Mackenzie.  That’s all that matters at this point.”  They heard a slight commotion and Derek appeared in the hallway sporting a green cast.  </p><p>“Woman, get me outta this place.”  He said giving the nurses a look.  </p><p>Emily looked at the nurse and back at her husband.  “Have you been released?”</p><p>“I’m fine.  And the doctor came - said to take it easy for a couple of days, but like I can leave.  Please can I go?”  He whined holding his casted hand pitifully.  </p><p>With a smirk, the nurse nodded.  “He can leave as long as he promises to behave.”</p><p>Derek nodded slowly and wrapped his arms around Emily.  “Yes, I promise.”</p><p>“For a week.”</p><p>He didn’t say anything, just led Emily out of the hospital with JJ close on their heels.  </p><p>“You are going to behave, you know that right?”  Emily questioned her husband as they said goodbye to JJ and climbed in their SUV.</p><p>“Well, at least for the next few days.”  Derek said with a shrug.</p><p>Emily shook her head and gently cupped Derek’s face, squeezing a bit harder than normal.  “Look at me you big loveable idiot.  You will behave.  I’m going to check on your ass constantly, and I’m sure Taala is going to be home with Mackenzie and she’s going to check on you.”  She squeezed a bit harder and he pulled away.  “You’re gonna be there for the birth of our babies and I’m not letting some half brained racists wreck that.”</p><p>His eyebrows arched before she shook her head. </p><p> “This isn’t up for debate.”</p><p>Derek pouted softly and buckled his seatbelt.  “Will you take care of me at home today?”  He asked, batting his eyelashes and pulling the most pitiful face he could manage.</p><p>Pulling out of the parking lot, Emily smiled and kissed his casted hand.  “Baby, tonight you can just lie there and I will take care of you.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0043"><h2>43. Popping bubbles</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>On a case, Emily's abilities are questioned.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"<strong>I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be."</strong></p><p>― Charles Dickens, Great Expectations</p><p>The first time she felt it, they were on the jet. A quick flutter, like bubbles popping inside her abdomen. Her hand flew down to her abdomen, a frown crinkling across her forehead.</p><p>"What's up, Mama?" JJ asked, noticing the change in her friend's behaviour.</p><p>"N-Nothing." Emily frowned, feeling it again, sliding her hand to the other side of her abdomen.</p><p>JJ squealed and dropped on the seat next to her friend. "Oh my GOSH Emily, you're feeling your babies MOVE! Isn't it cool!? What does it feel like with two of them?"</p><p>Emily frowned, eyeing her belly with a look of interest and confusion. "Weird." She said finally. "It's...weird."</p><p>Laughing softly, JJ leaned back against the seat and watched her best friend. "They'll just get stronger each day." She smiled and squeezed Emily's forearm.</p><p>The brunette stared down at her abdomen in silence.</p><p>"You okay, Em?" JJ asked The issue with being a profiler was that your emotions never went unchecked.</p><p>Emily looked down at her abdomen and then back at JJ. "It just feels really really real now." She admitted softly.</p><p>The jet flew on, Emily's hand on her swollen abdomen.</p><p>JJ dropped her off at home and Emily dropped her bag in the doorway, finding Derek in front of the TV on the couch. She plopped down beside him and took his hand, resting it on her bump.</p><p>"Guess what?"</p><p>Looking over, Derek arched his eyebrows. "I'm able to be back on full duty?"</p><p>Emily gripped his chin softly and kissed him a few times before grinning. "Three more days, Derek. You're lucky that you're friends with a doctor and she cleared you for half days. Anyway, something even more awesome than your ass going back to work. I felt the babies move today."</p><p>His face lit up and he lifted her shirt, his hand large and dark on her round belly. "What did it feel like?" He asked, his trigger roughened fingers soft and gentle on her skin.</p><p>"Kind of like popping bubbles." She said finally. "I'm not really sure how it feels. But JJ assured me that it's normal and in a few weeks you'll be able to feel them." Curling up against him, she sighed softly. "This makes it really real, Derek." She whispered.</p><p>"It is really real, Emily." Derek said pressing his lips to the top of her head. He rested his uncasted hand on her abdomen as they sat in silence for a few moments.</p><p>"I really want ice cream." Emily hummed against his skin. "I really want mint chocolate ice cream."</p><p>He laughed and untangled himself from her body. "Thankfully we have some mint chip ice cream in the freezer." Scooping out a bowl, he walked back and passed Emily a spoon. There were days when he looked at her and wondered how he got so lucky. Today was one of those days. His wife glowed as she took a mouthful of the artificially coloured green ice cream. Her dark eyes sparked as her hand rested on her growing baby belly. She was beautiful before the pregnancy, but now? There was an incredible aura around her now. Even despite what they did, what they saw every day, her face broke into an easy beautiful smile.</p><p>"You gonna come help me with this, or are you going to watch me eat this whole bowl of ice cream by myself?" She asked looking up at him with a brilliant smile.</p><p>He sat down beside her and took a spoonful of ice cream. "You're amazing, you know that?" He questioned, his hand brushing her hair off her face.</p><p>The brilliant smile appeared again and she took another spoonful of ice cream. "Oh, by the way, we need to go shoe shopping again."</p><p>He groaned and threw himself back dramatically against the couch. "You have a full closet full of shoes and boots! Whhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?"</p><p>Emily spun on the couch and dropped her feet on his lap. "Because my ankles are swollen and I can't see my feet anymore. I need something I can tie. No more boots. We can even go to a sports store and you can find the best shoes for me...and maybe a pair of cute slip ons for when I can't even do the sneakers."</p><p>"Okay, fine." He said, the smile on his face belying his voice. "I guess I'll forgive you since you're carrying my babies."</p><p>"Mmmm hmmm." She wiggled her toes on his lap. "I'll give you a break from the foot massage duty until your hand heals."</p><p>Derek smiled and tugged at one of her toes. "My hero."</p><hr/><p>Emily didn't <em>do </em>sports stores. Sure, she was athletic, you had to be in the FBI to a certain degree. But her idea of athletics was yoga and hand to hand combat, boxing, and swimming. Derek walked her to an enormous wall of shoes and started to look through them. He found four or five different styles and brands. "Size 8, right?"</p><p>She shrugged, sitting down on the bench. "Dunno, get them to bring an 8, 8.5, and a 9. My feet are pregnant now too." Toeing off the flip flops she was wearing, she pulled out socks out of her bag and tossed them to Derek. He knelt down and dutifully pulled her socks on before going and speaking to the associate. The young man came back a few minutes later with his arms full of boxes. Derek knelt at her feet and started to put on different pairs of shoes on her feet. He found a pair of black ones, with minimal other colours that would still be professional at work. "Okay, walk around." He ordered as he tied them up. She walked up and down the aisle before looking back at him with a smile. "Okay, Princess. Come sit down and let's try on some slip ons. Go find some pretty ones."</p><p>"Sneakers aren't pretty. Louboutins are pretty. Jimmy Choos are pretty. These are practical and some of them are cute. But they aren't pretty." She got up and glanced through some of the slip on shoes finding a few different pairs. She pulled off some different shoes, most of them dark colours but she grabbed a pair of white ones with pastel swirls. He gave her a smile, his eyebrows arching. "Didn't expect you to choose those."</p><p>Shrugging, Emily sat down and handed them to him. "They were calling to me." Waiting until they got the pair in her size, she tried them on and wiggled her toes. "They fit. Bit roomy in the top and the toes, but I think for days when my feet are swollen they'll work perfectly." She said handing them back to Derek.</p><p>Derek grabbed both shoe boxes, Derek helped Emily to her feet. "Let's go, Princess." He said pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "We can go grocery shopping on the way back...pick up more ice cream…"</p><p>"My hero." She replied with a smirk, standing on her tip toes and fluttering kisses to her lips.</p><hr/><p>They were in North Dakota, using Bismarck as a home base. Emily had already sent JJ, Matt, Reid, and Luke out to the field to the crime scene and to talk to the coroner. She, Tara, and Rossi headed to the Bismarck precinct to set things up. Rossi went ahead to speak to the Sheriff and the deputy while Tara and Emily set up the room and board.</p><p>"This is Dr. Tara Lewis, and this is our unit chief, SSA Emily Prentiss." Rossi introduced pointing to each woman.</p><p>"The rest of the team is already talking to your coroner and then out at the crime scene." Emily said, shaking their hands strongly.</p><p>The older of the two men looked between Rossi and Emily and then back at Rossi. Emily strode away to speak with Tara and examine the map.</p><p>"Your unit chief is pregnant." The sheriff said, shaking his head. "Like really pregnant."</p><p>Rossi looked at him and then at Emily. "Wait, she's pregnant? Holy crap. Hey, Prentiss, you're pregnant!"</p><p>Emily glared at him, one hand on her abdomen. "Really? Thanks for that, Tips." Shaking her head, she went back to focusing on the map and flipping through her tablet. Tara choked on her coffee and turned away, fighting back a laugh. As the pregnancy progressed Emily had chosen more comfortable, yet professional wardrobe. Dark jeans, longer tops and a blazer matched with her running shoes.</p><p>"Are you sure she can do this job?" He asked Rossi as they watched Emily.</p><p>"Better than anyone I know." Rossi commented with a proud smile. "Anyway, let's get to work."</p><p>Emily hated the fact that she was stuck in the precinct, but she hated it even more when she was the only woman in the building. She had sent Tara to go speak to a person of interest, which left her as the only female in the precinct. Filling up her mug with tea, she took a long sip before crossing her arms over her bump and staring at the map. They knew the approximate area that he was killing in, though it crossed into the Standing Rock Indian Reserve and into South Dakota making it a federal case. Sighing, she crossed her arms across her chest and stared at the map before her back started to ache and she sat down at the table.</p><p>"Excuse me, Ma'am?"</p><p>"<em><strong>Agent </strong></em>Prentiss. Or Agent." Emily replied without looking up.</p><p>"Sorry, Agent Prentiss, I was just wondering...if you should be doing this job in your condition?"</p><p>Dark eyes dragged up and Emily looked at the man. "In my condition? I'm pregnant, not incapacitated."</p><p>He shrugged and sat down across from her. "And you look like you're far along, Agent Prentiss. Aren't you concerned that something might happen to you at this point in the pregnancy?</p><p>"I'm 18 weeks." Emily retorted. "With twins. And my husband is six two." She said quickly. "I'm fine, and my babies are fine. My team needs me to be a leader, and I can lead from here."</p><p>"And is it safe for your babies? All this stress? Hearing all this stuff? What does your boyfriend...husband...partner? What do they have to say about this?"</p><p>Sighing, Emily rubbed her temples. "And is this any of your business? I am very very good at my job and my <em>husband</em> used to be a part of our team, he's now the head of his own team. He knows what goes on here and he supports my decisions and what I do." She said stiffly. "What I do is my business and that of my husband's. Not yours. Now if you don't have anything relevant to the case, I'm working." The officer walked away and Emily flipped through her tablet making notes until she felt Rossi sit down across from her. She could feel his eyes on her, the scent of his spicy cologne mixed with dark coffee. "What?"</p><p>"Nothing." The older man smiled and looked at Emily. "You must be stuffed."</p><p>Emily looked up and arched her eyebrows. "Sorry?"</p><p>"You know, eating grown men for breakfast like you do." He smirked and took a sip of his coffee.</p><p>"Shut up, Rossi." Emily said, a laugh playing on her lips. Sighing, she rested her hands on her bump. "I just...it's our business, mine and Derek's. We're doing everything to keep our babies safe. I'm 100 percent able to work, I'm not out in the field anymore. I'm talking to unsubs with you, or Luke, or Matt in the room. I can still work."</p><p>The older man held his hands up in defeat. "Emily, I'm not the one who said you couldn't." He said softly. "And we all know that you're doing everything in your power to keep you and your baby safe, Emily. You're going to be a great mother. Hell, you already are a great mother."</p><p>"Thanks, Dave." Emily said softly, her hand rubbing her stomach softly.</p><p>"You don't need to thank me. You and Derek are doing a great job, though at this point it's more you than Derek."</p><p>Emily smirked and looked down at her belly. "He gives pretty good back rubs and foot rubs."</p><p>Rossi nodded and got to his feet. "I'm going to see if the family has come in yet to interview. You should eat something." He said, giving her a very fatherly glare. "You haven't eaten anything since the jet, and that was about six hours ago."</p><p>Sighing, Emily followed suit and stretched. "Okay fine. I'll go grab something from the deli."</p><p>"Want someone to come with you?"</p><p>Emily shook her head. "No, some fresh air will do me some good, but thanks Dave." Grabbing her credit card, Emily headed to the deli that was a few blocks away. Grabbing some fresh vegetables with dip along with a sandwich and a bottle of sparkling water. Dave was interviewing the family when she walked in, settling at the table. The precinct wasn't very big and she opened her sandwich and focused on the table trying to stay focused on work.</p><p>"She said she's 18 weeks, but she's the same size as my wife when she was at close to 30 weeks."</p><p>"I can't believe her husband lets her out here, interviewing serial killers. That can't be good for a baby."</p><p>"Wonder what kind of deadbeat would let their wife work in a job like this?"</p><p>She rewrapped her sandwich, leaving it untouched and got out her cellphone and sent Tara a quick text. She needed another woman in there with her before she committed homicide herself.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0044"><h2>44. To protect</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The case continues, as do Emily's self-conscious thoughts.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Never close your lips to those whom you have already opened your heart."</p><p>― <strong>Charles Dickens</strong></p><p>Tara stared at her friend with a worried glance. Emily pushed the food around on her plate without taking a bite. Emily took a sip of her water and focused back on the conversation round the table, her fork back on the serviette beside her. Tara was the only one that was silent, too focused on the unit chief to worry about the conversation. When they were in cities big enough, they always got their own rooms instead of doubling up. This was one of those cities, but Tara was hesitant to let Emily out of her sight. They walked together down the hall and Emily peeled off for her own room. They weren't any closer to finding the unsub as they were when they arrived.</p><p>"Emily?" Tara asked, stopping her friend. "You know, if anything is bothering you...you can let me know, right?"</p><p>"Yes, <em>Doctor </em>Lewis." Emily said, stopping and leaning against her door. "I know I can talk to you, it's just been...a long day."</p><p>Tara reached out and pressed her hand against her friend's belly. "You know, Mama, we all love you and Derek to bits and we love these BAU royalty, so...just know that we're all here for you."</p><p>Emily nodded and waited a few moments before turning back. "Thanks, I know. I just...we should get some sleep because we're going to have to work early tomorrow." She gave her friend a small smile. "Thanks, Tara."</p><p>The taller profiler nodded and watched Emily retreat into her room. She stood in the hallway for a few moments before heading into her room. Maybe she was over analyzing things, but she saw a flicker of sadness in her friend's dark eyes.</p><p>Emily closed and locked the door to her room. She stripped off her clothes and tossed them in the drawer before pulling on one of Derek's oversized shirts. Dropping on the bed, Emily dialed Derek and waited for his face to appear on screen. He was on the East Coast, so it was later there than it was for her and he was already in bed, topless with exhaustion in his eyes.</p><p>"Hey beautiful."</p><p>She sighed and curled up into bed and gave him a tired smile. "Sorry, you're probably wanting to sleep." She apologized, the memories of the many months they spent apart with only facetime, calls, and texts to keep them connected.</p><p>"I want to see you more." He gave her a smile before his face darkened. "What's wrong?"</p><p>"Nothing's wrong." It came out too fast, too forceful and Derek smiled.</p><p>Derek readjusted himself and looked at his wife. "Emily, I've known you for more than ten years, loved you for over half of those, and have been married to you for almost a year. I know when something is wrong."</p><p>"Am I selfish for wanting to work while I'm pregnant?" She asked softly, one of her hands reaching down to rub her belly.</p><p>"No, obviously I don't think so," He said seriously. "What brought this up?"</p><p>Emily shrugged and propped herself up on her pillows. "Just listening to people. Some of the people around here...they don't think I should be working."</p><p>"They don't matter Em." Derek said seriously. "All that matters is what WE think and I KNOW you're going to do your best to keep yourself and our babies safe. You're incredible at what you do, and lots of people need you." He gave her a small half smile. "What else is bothering you?"</p><p>"Nothing, just the stress of the case." She lied pulling the blanket up to her chin.</p><p>He let the topic drop, knowing his wife well enough that he wasn't going to push and start an argument leaving both of them upset. "Okay. So do you want to talk about our cases?"</p><p>Emily shook her head. "No, but I got some big wireless headphones, you know, like the ones that you have. Reid reminded me that the babies can hear all the time now and he made me wear the headphones on my belly as we talked about the case. They've been pretty calm today, I think they miss hearing your voice." She shrugged.</p><p>His face broke into a grin and he nodded. "Put 'em on. I want to talk to my little bugs." He waited as Emily propped up her phone and she put the headphones on her bell. Flashing him a thumbs up, she relaxed only able to catch a few words of each sentence. Closing her eyes, Emily relaxed as she heard her husband speak to their babies. A little while later, she removed the headphones and gave Derek a smile.</p><p>"Were they dancing?</p><p>Emily shrugged. "They were more active. They love their daddy."</p><p>"And they love their mommy." Derek reached out and brushed his fingers over the screen. "As much as I would love to stay up all night, it's getting late here." He yawned and gave her a tired smile. "I love you, Princess."</p><p>"I love you too. I'll talk to you tomorrow." Emily plugged in her phone and laid on the bed, eyes focusing on the ceiling as she tried to ignore the gnawing in her stomach.</p><hr/><p>Emily was already at the precinct when everyone arrived. Sneakers, jeans, a white blouse and a red blazer. Her hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail. Tara hadn't told anyone about her concerns, and frowned when Emily suggested she head to the field with Dave. They were interviewing the families of two of the victims and then the latest almost victim. They needed to talk to the families and talk to the media…</p><p>"How about I stick around and I can help with the families of the victims? JJ can talk to the media, and then you can talk to the almost victim. Divide and conquer and then if we have time we can head out and help the guys." Tara suggested.</p><p>The unit chief bit her lower lip before nodding. "Alright, that works." Heading over to the table, Emily grabbed her notebook and her phone. "You okay dealing with the press outside Jayje?"</p><p>"Of course. Just like old times." JJ laughed. She was GOOD at dealing with the press. Sure, she was a good profiler, but she was great at dealing with the media. "Once I'm done with that, I'll join you."</p><p>Emily nodded and walked into the room, the other two agents exchanging glances. Tara sighed and rubbed her temples, watching Emily walk away. Maybe she was overreacting, maybe she was reading into the situation more because she was a psychologist, maybe she was imagining things. But maybe she was right.</p><p>A few hours later they emerged from separate rooms, dropping at the table in the room they were given to work in. Matt and Luke walked in carrying bags of Thai in their arms.</p><p>"Rossi and Spencer have the drinks." Luke mumbled as he placed his bags on the table. "Figured we all needed some lunch and we can go over what we found and hopefully by this afternoon release the profile."</p><p>Emily nodded in agreement and cleared the table to make space for food. They got her usual, a lemon grass chicken noodle bowl with spring rolls and an order of fresh rolls on the side. She picked up one of the fresh rolls and ate it slowly before getting up and staring at the board. The rest of the team, minus Tara, were too busy focusing on the case to focus on what their boss was eating, or in this case not eating. Most of the noodle bowl was left untouched. Once their eating had slowed, Emily looked back at her team. "Are we confident with the profile?" She asked, a hand rubbing the underside of her belly.</p><p>There was a murmur of agreement and she nodded. "Alright let's go release the profile." Emily announced. Things were easy when there were other things to focus on, and Emily was the queen of sliding into the background. Even pregnant, Emily was able to stand back and blend into what was going on. Some people would say that she attracted attention. Tall, dark, beautiful. A rare beauty. Sharp features, her dark flat raven hair, dark eyes that bore into your soul. But she could just as easily step back and wait. And that's what she did today. She gave the first part of the profile and listened to the rest of her team speak.</p><p>"Questions?" She asked the officers, one hand resting on her bump as she leaned against the table. They answered a few before sending the uniforms away. They knew approximately where he would strike, just not when. The unsub was patient, he was smart but they were smarter.</p><p>"You're not going out with the rest of your team?"</p><p>If looks could kill. Emily glared at the deputy sheriff. "Obviously I'm not." She said, her voice heavy with venom. "As you so eloquently pointed out, I'm pregnant. My husband, who is also a unit chief with the FBI, and I have talked about it. While I am still the unit chief, and I will work until I've been told by a medical professional that I can't anymore. I will, however, be there for the arrest. I will not put myself, or my unborn children at risk." She said stiffly. "But I can still do my damn job."</p><p>The officer held up his hands. "Sorry, I'd say it was your time of the month but -"</p><p>He was cut off by Rossi's hand on his shoulder. "Watch it, she's the best shot on the team. I wouldn't hedge my bets that she won't shoot you."</p><p>The younger man scampered off and Rossi arched his eyebrow at Emily. "Scaring the locals?"</p><p>She shrugged. "Just because I'm pregnant Rossi doesn't mean I can't do this job." Emily mumbled. "Because I can. I mean, maybe I can't do the take downs, but I can do this damn job."</p><p>"You're doing your job." Rossi said softly. "And we're all happy that you're not putting yourself or those bambinos at risk, alright?" He gave her a smile "Plus you have muscle to help. Send the boys to do what you need them to do."</p><p>Emily ran her fingers through her hair and stared at the board. "Yeah." She grumbled darkly. She had a pounding headache, her back ached and she had this weird pain in her hips, but there was no way that she was going to be put on the bench.</p><p>The night came and Emily was ready to pull her hair out. Thankfully the unsub hadn't murdered anyone, but they weren't any closer to catching him.</p><p>They headed back to the hotel, Emily retreated to her room without meeting the team for supper, choosing to soak her sore back in the less than optimal bath tub before sending Derek a quick text and crawling into bed.</p><hr/><p>No more kills last night, at least that much was good. Her heart raced and her head pounded. Tara dropped a container of fruit in front of Emily along with a yogurt. Emily frowned and pushed them away.</p><p>"Eat." Tara said sitting down across from the other woman, her voice low and dangerous, barely above a whisper. "You look like crap, Emily. Take care of yourself, Mama. We've got it, alright?" She waited until she watched Emily take a bite of the fruit and she watched the other woman slowly make her way through the container of fruit and opened the yogurt. Tara smiled softly as she watched some of the tension the other woman was carrying in her jaw relax. "See doesn't that feel better?" Tara got to her feet and placed her hand gently on the top of Emily's abdomen. "I'm sure they're much happier now that they've eaten too." She commented with a gentle smile. "So what brought this all on?"</p><p>Emily shrugged and took another bite of the yogurt thinking about her answer. She waited for Tara to sit back down and sighed, putting the spoon down. "Just talk. Some of the officers here were commenting on…" Her voice trailed off and she looked down at her stomach.</p><p>"And some of the officers have bigger stomachs than you and they sure as hell aren't pregnant." Tara said, looking at the men milling around. "I know hormones are a bitch, I can't begin to think about being pregnant with twins and all those hormones, but Emily you need to worry about yourself and those babies, okay?" She waited until Emily looked back at her. "The next time you feel like this Em, talk to me. Talk to JJ. I haven't been pregnant, but I understand the feeling of being singled out. Being THAT person that everyone is staring at."</p><p>The unit chief sighed and finished the yogurt. "If I'm being honest I've never felt like this before."</p><p>"You probably haven't. And psychologically speaking, men tend to look at pregnant women as people to protect, even if the child isn't theirs. I'm sure it's taken Derek a while to get used to you being pregnant, and you being independent and doing your job." Tara shrugged. "You're just going to have to try to ignore them and keep doing what you're doing."</p><p>Nodding, Emily got to her feet. "Yeah, you're right. Stupid of me for letting them get into my head." She mumbled, her cheeks flushing a soft pink.</p><p>"Not stupid." Tara said honestly. "Just hormonal. Now let's go catch that killer."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0045"><h2>45. The first feeling</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dealing with the fall out of the attack on Derek and Mackenzie, something good comes from it.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Two people in love, alone, isolated from the world, that's beautiful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>― </span>
  <b>Milan Kundera</b>
</p><p>
  <span>They all sat around the table, Noah cuddling against his mother’s chest.  The four of them had decided to meet the Fairfax PD in Quantico instead of at the local precinct.  Mackenzie was in her uniform, the side of her face still bruised and swollen, her arm in a sling.  Taala had her hair pulled back in a braid, wearing dark slacks and a slightly fitted blouse.  Derek’s cast had come off earlier in the week, much to his delight, and despite being the unit chief of VICAP, he still favoured wearing jeans and tshirts to work.  Digging deep into JJ’s pregnancy clothing, Emily had on a dark green top that flowed over her baby bump, her hair pulled back.  Noah stayed close to Mackenzie, his fingers back in his mouth.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to press charges?”  The officer asked, looking between Mackenzie and Derek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The younger of the two swallowed hard and brushed some hair off her face.  “We were attacked because we’re black,  My son witnessed everything and he’s now suffering nightmares.  I’m pregnant.  The doctors are hopeful that the fetus wasn’t harmed, but we won’t know until later on in the pregnancy.  These injuries, if they don’t heal properly, they could end my career.  Yes.  I want to press charges.”  She glanced over at Derek.  He looked over at Emily and then back at the officers.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t injured nearly as badly as Mackenzie, but if my wife hadn’t gotten there…”  His voice trailed off.  “I want to press charges, this sort of thing can’t be allowed to happen.  We, all four of us, have or are going to have bi-racial children.  I want to be able to take them to the park and not be afraid that they will be attacked.”  Derek exhaled softly.  “If Mackenzie hadn’t been smart enough to send Emily the text, and my wife hadn’t been quick enough, you’d be looking at murder, not just assault.”  He got to his feet and shook the officer’s hands.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily watched, her hand protectively over her stomach.  They were lucky, they all knew that.  Slowly she got to her feet and gave the other three around the table a small tight lipped smile.  “Do we want to get together tonight for supper?  Our place?”  Emily asked as Derek wrapped his arm around her waist.  “Work permitting, of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie shrugged and got up, adjusting Noah on her hip.  “Text me and we’ll let you know.”  She said, her voice soft and quiet.  The assault had made the young woman quieter, scared.  Neither had seen her smile since the incident.  She gave Noah’s head a soft kiss and nodded at her wife.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You take him down, I’ll be right there.”  Taala said, watching Mackenzie and Noah leave.  She turned to Derek and Emily and gave them a tired smile. “I’ll try to talk her into coming.”  She said softly, raking her fingers through her hair.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They watched her walk away and Derek pressed a few kisses on the top of Emily’s head.  “Hopefully the bad guys give us a break for the next few days.”  He said holding her flush against him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily smiled up at him, reaching up and pulling him down for a proper kiss.  “I agree.”  She whispered as they pulled apart, their fingers interlacing as they headed to the elevator.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thankfully the day ended up being mostly paperwork, and surprisingly, they were both able to leave at a half decent time.  Even though they still had time, hopefully five months as Emily kept reminding him, Derek had put in a lot of time into learning how to cook.  Growing up with two older sisters, they learned how to cook and he learned the basics, but he relied on his sisters to feed him most of the time.  They had invested in a pressure cooker and a slower cooker, with Derek spending lots of time learning new recipes.  Reid, who had been cooking for himself since the age of 8, had been giving Derek easy recipes.  Derek said that he refused to allow his children to grow up eating fast food and take away food.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their house smelled delicious when they walked through the doors and he sent Emily upstairs to go get changed.  Taala had texted and asked for a raincheck on the supper, leaving Derek and Emily alone.  He started rice on the stove before pulling the bag of salad out of the fridge.  Tara had told him about the incident in Montana and he chose not to call Emily on it, they were dealing with enough already.  Instead, he just chose to cook meals that were healthy and shower Emily in as many compliments as he could.  She came down the stairs wearing a pair of sweats and a long sleeved tshirt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever you’re making smells delicious.”  Emily said, giving Derek a small smile.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chicken burrito bowls.”  He said, pulling the rice off the gas and scooping it into a bowl for Emily.  He added the shredded chicken corn, and black beans from the slow cooker and topped it with cheese, cilantro and chopped green onions, placing some plain Greek yogurt on the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look at you, Mister House Husband.”  Emily teased as she sat down and took a bite of the food.  “This is great, Derek.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled and poured her some flavored sparkling water in a wine glass, then pouring one for himself.  “Good, I’m glad.”  His eyes stayed focused on her for a few moments before he took a bite of his own food.  “Yeah, you’re right, I’m pretty good at this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She laughed, soft and gentle.   “So humble.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They ate until they were comfortablely full.  “Want to go cuddle on the couch?”  Derek suggested, standing up and reaching for her hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not really.”  Emily got to her feet and closed the gap between them, pressing her body as close to his as she could considering her growing belly.  “We have some free time and I want to be with my husband.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His arms wrapped around her, looping under her ass as he easily lifted her off her feet.  Their lips met softly and he smiled into the kiss.  “You sure?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eyebrows arched and she leaned back slightly.  “If you don’t want to have sex with me, you could say so.”  She mumbled softly.  “Put me down, Derek.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His grip held tight.  “Emily, of course I want to have sex with you.  You’re beautiful.  So beautiful.  I just don’t want to push you or anything.”  Lips pressed against the empty expanse of the pale skin of her neck.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to push me into anything, Derek.”  Emily whispered.  “Until I’m told I can’t have sex anymore I want to physically show you how much I love you.”  She wiggled enough that Derek rested her on the edge of their counter.  “I get that I don’t look the same as when we were married and before...I get that I probably don’t feel the same, taste the same…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek pressed a finger against her lips and stared at her.  “Emily, you’re beautiful.  You were beautiful before we got pregnant, you’re even more beautiful now.  Alright?”  Slowly he pulled his finger back.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright.”  Her lips curled into a small smile as his hands wrapped around her again.  </span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>“Are they moving?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily smiled and took his hand, pressing it against her baby belly.  “They’re always active after…”  She shrugged and slowly moved her hand until she found the spot where she felt one of the babies moving.  His eyes lit up and he stared at her.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Smiling, Emily nodded.  “I felt it on the jet but they’ve been pretty quiet the past couple of days.”  She explained.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Which baby is this?”  He asked, staring at her in awe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pretty sure this is baby A.”  Emily said, her hand low on her abdomen.  “And up here is baby B.”  She felt a soft kick on either side of her belly.  “I’m not sure if it’s a foot, an elbow, or a hand yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek shook his head, his hand moving slowly on her skin.  “Baby, this is…”  A tear ran down his cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled softly and shrugged.  “It’s pretty amazing.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They laid like that, his hand on her stomach until the moments slowed.  “We could go again…”  He said rolling over and propping himself up on the pillow.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughing softly, Emily leaned forward and pecked his lips softly.  “You’re funny.”  She said taking the sheet and wrapping it around her body.  “Three wasn’t enough for you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shrugged, watching as the sheet slipped off his own body as she got off the bed.  “Hey, for my beautiful Princess I’d go as many times as you wanted me to. I’d do anything for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shook her head with a soft gentle smile on her face.  “I know you will, but right now I need to pee, and then maybe take a nap.”  She joked.  Closing the washroom door, he waited until he heard the toilet flush and the sink run before she returned.  “You’re lucky I don’t just lie there and make you do all the work.”  She said dropping the sheet and pulling on a shirt and a pair of panties.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek grinned and got up and pulled on a pair of sweats.  “How are you feeling?  Like actually?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sitting down, Emily shrugged.  “Good, all things considered.  I mean, I’m tired.  Growing two human lives is exhausting.  And my hips are stiff.  And I have to be honest, I’m going to have to start looking into these things called belly bands.  They’re like compression bands for pregnant bellies.  Though, you’re only supposed to wear it for a couple of hours at a time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He flopped back on the bed and grabbed his phone.  “Well, we can order a couple of them and we’ll figure things out.  Take it off for a few hours, wear it for a few hours.”  He said with a shrug.  “I know it’s not good for you to be lying down flat on your back, Stand up, how about I see if I can work out some of those knots.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Getting to her feet, Emily looked over her shoulder as Derek placed his hands on one of her hips.  His fingers dug into the flesh making her gasp as he hit a really sore spot.  He kept working out the knots on each hip and around her back.  His touch lightened, running his fingertips over the ligaments and smoothing the knots in the muscles and ligaments.  “Does that feel better?”  He asked after a little while, his fingers cramping, but he would keep massaging until he told her to stop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”  She rocked her hips and rolled them gently.  “A lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hands cupped under her belly and held it up.  Relief washed over her as the pain screaming across her back was lessened significantly.  “Jesus, can you just follow me around all day and do that?”  She asked with a hum.  “I didn’t realise how heavy this was until you actually carried it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek shrugged and pressed a kiss on the back of her neck.  “It’s a lot of extra weight all in one place, pulling you forward.  Hopefully those belly bands will help.”  He said not removing his hands.  “Or I’ll just come up to your office at lunch and give you a quick massage or hold your belly for a while.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t catch her eye roll, but he held her belly for a while until she finally squirmed away.  “You okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily smiled and kissed her two fingers before pressing them to his lips.  “Best I’ve been all week.”  Grabbing a pair of sweats, Emily tugged them on.  “You’re pretty amazing, Derek Morgan.”  She said softly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re the one who is carrying my babies, and as you and my mother have liked to point out, my heavy big headed babies.”  He said grabbing a sweater.  “You’re pretty fucking amazing.  And, if I remember correctly, you’re planning on having those babies without drugs.  Still kind of think that you’re insane for thinking of doing that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shrugging, she gave him a smile, one of the smiles he was sure she saved for only him.  “Like I said, I want to be present for the birth of our children.  I want to remember it.  I know it’s going to hurt, but it’s going to be a good hurt and bring so much joy in the end.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wrapping his arms around from behind her, he buried his head in her hair inhaling deeply.  “I am the luckiest man in the world.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well luckiest man in the world,” Emily said with a smirk.  “We’re going to have to figure out what we want for a nursery, they can’t sleep in our room forever.  And names.  And start buying things for them or else they’re going to be naked baby A and baby B Morgans sleeping in boxes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed and shook his head.  “Okay I get it, Mama.  How about we make a list of what we need and want and we can put it up on a registry.  Just a heads up that Kristy and Penelope are planning a baby shower for you.  I think Kristy is just happy it’s not for her this time.”  Derek leaned forward and pressed a kiss on her head.  “But don’t tell them I told you, and act surprised.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily rolled her eyes and went to the freezer and grabbed the pint of ice cream and a spoon.  “Okay, let’s start making lists.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grabbing another spoon Derek took his tablet. Sitting down next to her.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Funny guy, go get your gross flavoured ice cream.”  Emily stated, fighting him off with her spoon.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cherry Garcia ice cream is a classic.”  He grumbled getting to his feet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then eat your classic.”  She replied pulling out a giant spoonful of Chocolate Therapy ice cream.  Grinning, she took his tablet and started to look through things.  When he returned, she cuddled up next to him.  “Our babies are pretty lucky.”  She whispered softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled and took a bite of his ice cream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Understatement of the century.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0046"><h2>46. Chapter 46</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Just asking - is anyone still reading this?  Like should I continue?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0047"><h2>47. Do you need to push?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>During a case, Tara and Reid are left on Emily duty.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“She was my dream. She made me who I am, and holding her in my arms was more natural to me than my own heartbeat. I think about her all the time. Even now, when I'm sitting here, I think about her. There could never have been another.”<br/>― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook</p><p>Their case was in Virginia, meaning they didn't have to travel.  Emily stood in the BAU round table room, her hands on the small of her back, her feet spread out shoulder width apart.  The deep red merlot shirt flowed over her changing form.  She had sent JJ, Luke, Reid, and Rossi out to talk to the local LEOs and examine the crime scene.  Tara and Matt stayed behind to help build a geographic profile, and help Emily speak with the families and the victims.  Currently, it was quiet, Emily staring at the board.  They had been going all day and Matt texted Derek that maybe he should bring up a smoothie for Emily.  She turned her nose up at the sandwiches they had ordered from the deli in downtown Quantico and it had been a long day so far.  </p><p>When Derek came up onto the BAU floor, Matt gave him a slight head nod and motioned towards the mezzanine.  He took the steps two by two, a smoothie in hand.  Opening the door, he placed it on the table before standing behind his wife.  His hands reached around and gently cupped her baby belly and held it up gently.  Her body relaxed, leaning back against him.  “Matt said you haven’t eaten yet.”</p><p>“The pastrami smelled disgusting.”  She replied, a shrug rolling through her shoulders, her eyes never moving from the cork board in front of her.  </p><p>“I brought you a smoothie.”  He said gently, making no attempt to move as he felt her small body relaxed and her energy calm.  Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to her neck.  His eyes moved up and looked at the board.  “Need an extra set of eyes.”</p><p>Sighing, Emily ran her fingers through her hair.  “I dunno, it just seems...something’s wrong and I can’t figure out what.”  Voice in the bullpen announced the team’s arrival back, though neither Derek nor Emily moved.  </p><p>After a few moments, and numerous shadows walking past, they separated and Derek placed the smoothie in her hands.  “Drink.”  He ordered gently.  “I’ll come back in a few hours with something else.  Any aversions or just general feeling gross?”  He asked, his hands shoved deep in her pockets, rocking back on his heels.</p><p>“Anything with meat.” She admitted slowly.</p><p>“Aright, I’ll bring pasta or something that doesn’t have meat in it.”  Derek gave her a smile.  “You sure you’re okay?”</p><p>Another nod.  “Yeah, just stiff.”  Moving to open the door, she gave Luke and Reid a smile as they hovered around the door.  “We can get the rest of the team and talk about our findings.”  Emily sat down at the table, a soft groan slipping from her lips.  Both Reid and Luke exchanged worried glances.</p><p>“Are you okay Emily?  You aren’t going into labour early, are you?”  Luke questioned, looking between his boss and his friend.</p><p>A frown wrinkled her forehead and Emily shook her head.  “No, just a child hammering on a vital organ.”  She uttered, rubbing a spot high up on her belly.  The rest of the team filtered in, JJ giving Emily a look, her eyebrows arching.</p><p>Emily ignored it, and picked up the smoothie, sipping it slowly.  She waited it a few moments as the rest of the team filtered in.  Exhaling softly, she adjusted herself high enough in the chair that she was slightly more comfortable.  “Alright, what do we have?”  She asked, putting down the cup ad looking back at the team.</p><p>Ideas, facts, and theories came out around the table, discussed and debated.  Emily winced, pressing her hand to her belly, though stayed focused on what Matt was saying.  After a few moments, whoever was doing the kicking and punching calmed and Emily exhaled the breath she didn’t realise she was holding.</p><p>They were able to create a preliminary profile and they set out the boundaries of his hunting grounds.  The assumption that his killing had slowed, until they got another phone call from the local LEOs.  Rossi and JJ were at the coroner’s with the body of the last victim, and Matt and Luke were at a previous dump site, leaving Emily, Tara, and Reid. </p><p>“Let’s go.”  Emily said as she pulled herself to her feet.  She arched her eyebrows as Reid who was starting to open his mouth to protest.  “I promise I’ll wear a jacket.”  She retorted, heading to her office.</p><p>Tara and Reid exchanged a glance and the older of the two agents got to her feet.  “We’re on Emily duty today I guess.”</p><p>“But wait, do we know how her blood pressure is?  And when was the last time she saw her OB?  Women who are pregnant with multiples have a four time higher chance of going into preterm labour than in other pregnancies…”  Reid scrambled to his feet.  “I mean, I learned how to deliver babies but I’m not sure Emily would want me to see...that part of her.  Or Derek for that matter.”  He frowned and followed Tara out of the room.  “Wait...Lewis…”</p><p> </p><p>The cool wind whipped around them as they stood in the field.  Emily and Tara looked far more at home in boots and their FBI windbreakers than Reid did, their hands shoved deep inside their pockets, Emily’s pulled taught over her stomach.  There were two more bodies, the women that had been abducted two days ago.  Both raped, tortured and murdered.  They walked around the scene, noting footprints, the way the grass was stamped down, how the victim’s arms were crossed over their chests and partially covered by dried grass and fallen leaves.</p><p>Emily was about to comment on how this was the first sign of remorse when her vision swam in front of her, greying on the edges.  Warmth washed over her, sweat beading in her hairline running down her back.  She lost her footing and fell to the ground, crumpling in a pile in the dust and dry grass.</p><p>“Emily!”  Tara was quickly beside her, on her knees in the dust, using her windbreaker to prop up the other woman’s head.  </p><p>Long eyelashes fluttered and Tara waved to Reid with the order of water.  “Hey, you’re okay.”  Tara said gently, brushing sweaty locks off her forehead.  Her dark fingers pressed gently against her carotid, feeling her heartbeat fluttering wildly.  “When was the last time you ate, Em?”</p><p>Her head was spinning as Emily stared up at her friend’s face.  Her mouth was dry, her body hot and sweaty.  Finally, almost painfully slowly, Emily nodded weakly.  “Y-yeah.”  She mumbled, her tongue licking dust dried lips.  </p><p>Reid came back with a bottle of water and helped Tara sit Emily up slowly.  “Are you okay Emily?  Are you going into labour?  DO YOU NEED TO PUSH?”  </p><p>She laughed, soft and careful, but she laughed.  “I’m not in labour.”  Emily said sitting up.  “I had a smoothie, but Derek was going to bring something else to eat.”  She explained making a face as she raked her fingers through her now dirt caked hair.</p><p>“Your heart rate is pretty fast, and you’re warm.  You’re probably dealing with low blood sugar.”  Tara said gently.  “Reid, do you have anything in your bag?  Candy bar or something?”</p><p>The younger agent dug through his bag and pulled out a juice box and a granola bar which he handed to Tara.  She tore them open and passed it over to Emily who took a small sip of the juice and took a bite of the granola bar.  After a few minutes she started to feel a bit better.  The two taller agents helped her to her feet, Tara’s arm snaking around her waist.</p><p>“Derek said he’s going to meet us at the office.  He has some food and juice.”  Reid said with a small smile.  “He got caught up with a case.  He also said that he has a change of clothes if you want to shower.”</p><p>Emily nodded, leaning heavily on the taller agent.  They got back into the SUV and Tara pulled out a package of juicy fruit gum and passed it over to Emily.  “Chew.”  She ordered as they headed back to Quantico.</p><p>She was feeling better once they got back, less light headed and her hands had stopped shaking.  Derek was waiting at the front for them, a grilled cheese sandwich in one hand and a strawberry banana smoothie in the other.  Tara stayed close to Emily while Reid jogged ahead and spoke to his friend.  When the two women approached, Derek handed Emily the smoothie and gave Tara’s arm a thankful and gentle squeeze.  He led his wife over to the tables that were set outside and sat down across from her.  </p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p>Derek shrugged.  “Em, it happens.  I mean, I’d be much happier if you could eat more consistently, but being pregnant I know that’s not always possible.  I’m just happy that Tara and Reid were with you when it happened.”  He said watching as Emily tore off a piece of the sandwich and chewed it silently.  </p><p>“You have the right to be angry.”  Emily said softly as she chewed slowly.  </p><p>“No I really don’t.”  Derek replied with a shrug.  “You’re pregnant.  You had an aversion to the food and your blood sugar plummeted.  Low blood sugar happens, like I said I’m just happy that you had people with you when it happened.”</p><p>Nodding, Emily took a sip of the smoothie and glanced up at her husband, a small smile playing on her lips.  “Reid asked me if I needed to push.”  She said softly.  “He was ready to deliver two babies.”</p><p>Their laughter was caught in the wind and swirled around them.  Derek shook his head and grinned at Emily.  “Jesus, I can only imagine.”</p><p>“No, he was ready, Derek.  Like...I think Spence was going to get me on my back with my feet up in the air.”</p><p>His head leaned back and Derek laughed, his body shaking.  “Remind me not to have Reid in the room when you give birth.”  He laughed looking back at his wife.  “Feeling better?”</p><p>Nodding, Emily took the last bite of the grilled cheese and brushed her hands free of the crumbs.  “Yeah.”  She held her hands out in front of her and they were steady, no sign of the shaking from earlier.</p><p>“Good.”  Derek smiled and leaned across the table and gave her a soft kiss.  “Sorry I was late with bringing you your sandwich.”  He said when he pulled away.  “Got caught up with a case.”</p><p>It was Emily’s turn to shrug.  “It’s fine, Derek.”  She said, a small smile on her lips.  “We’ll get through it together.”  A soft kick made her smile and she got to her feet and walked over to the other side, gripping his hand and pressing it against her belly.  “See, I’m okay.”</p><p>“Which baby is that?”  He asked, pressing his other hand lower on her skin.</p><p>“That one is definitely baby A.”  She said with a laugh.  “Baby A is lower, and pretty sure that’s a foot.  And Baby B is here.”  Emily moved his hand so it was close to her breast.  “Up higher.  We’ll have to see how they’re sitting at our next ultrasound.”</p><p>A grin washed over his face and Emily placed her hand on top of his.  “Next week.”  He said softly.  “And we'll actually be able to see their faces.”</p><p>“You’re gonna be that nerd that frames their 3D ultrasound pictures, aren’t you?”  Emily accused with a soft smile.  </p><p>“The biggest nerd.”  He replied laughing.  “And everyone is going to get a picture.”  Looping his arm around her waist, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.</p><p>“Okay, let’s go back inside, nerd.  I have a killer to catch.”  She joked.  </p><p>His grip tightened as they walked into the building and into the elevator.  They stopped at the BAU floor and he walked out with her, his arm tight around her.  <br/>Reluctantly he let her go, squeezing her hand as he watched her walk the stairs up to her office.  </p><p>“She’s fine, Derek.”  Tara said as she walked by, giving him a reassuring squeeze on his forearm.  </p><p>“I know.”  He watched her duck into her office and sighed, running a hand over his face.</p><p>Matt walked by and gave him a small smile.  “Do you want to go out for beers this week?  We can get a sitter for the kids and Kristy’s been bothering me about visiting Emily.”</p><p>Nodding, Derek gave the younger man a smile.  “Sure, that would be great.”</p><p>Matt nodded and started up the stairs.  “I’ll get Kristy to text Emily.  And Derek, this is all normal, okay?  The feelings you’re having, they’re totally normal.”</p><p>He released the breath he didn’t even know he held and nodded before heading back to his office and back to work.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0048"><h2>48. Fingerprints on the walls</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Emily and Derek meet up with Kristy and Matt for an afternoon.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone.  I'm currently writing the birth chapter as we speak.  It's a trip, let me tell you!  I hope everyone us able to enjoy some time with their loved ones.  2020 has been quite the year, but we made it.  Keep wearing your masks, washing your hands, and keeping your distance.  No pandeichas ever lasted forever and we'll make it through!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“If love is blind, then maybe a blind person that loves has a greater understanding of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>― </span>
  <b>Criss Jami, </b>
  <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/16347970">
    <b>Salomé: In Every Inch In Every Mile</b>
  </a>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Emily never got manicures or pedicures.  Her nails were usually too trashed to even consider a manicure, and a pedicure seemed like a frivolous expense.  But here she was, getting both of those.  Her nails were a pale pink, close to the natural colour, while her toenails were going to be a deep dark merlot.  Climbing into the massaging chair and putting her feet into the steaming water, Emily gave Kristy a smile.  “This is the first time I’ve ever gotten a manicure and a pedicure.  Well, one that wasn’t forced by my mother...and one after the age of 15.”  She admitted with a small shrug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We could’ve done something else…”  Kristy said softly.  She wasn’t one of them, she didn’t work the high pressure job and honestly, she wasn’t sure if this was something Emily would even agree to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leaning against the chair, Emily groaned as one of the workers grabbed her foot and started to massage the insole.  “No.”  She groaned softly.  “This is perfect.  In fact, I might move into here.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kristy laughed and handed Emily her smoothie that they had picked up earlier.  “Well I’m glad that you’re enjoying it.”  She said honestly.  The younger woman liked Emily, she was a strong charismatic person, a real leader.  Though now in this setting, Kristy could see the whole other side of the BAU unit chief.  She was still strong and charismatic and a true leader, but there was a softness about her.  A gentleness and softness radiated from the brunette when her tall FBI walls were down.  It was no secret that Emily Morgan was a strong, powerful and sometimes intimidating woman, but in her yoga pants, and pink hoodie, she was just Emily. “So how is everything going?  With the pregnancy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shrugging, Emily took a sip of her smoothie and took her time thinking about her words before putting the cup down.  “It’s...interesting.”  She finally admitted.  “There’s been parts of this that I love.  I love feeling these two move around.  I love the way Derek looks at me.  But there are parts that I hate.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kristy nodded.  “And all of that is completely normal and natural.  Have you found out the sex yet of the babies?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Next week we can.  I’m still not sure if I want to.”  Emily admitted.  “Everything has been so...regimented with this pregnancy that it would be nice to have one element of surprise.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And what does Derek think about this idea”  Kristy gave the other woman a small smirk.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, we’ve discussed it but not in quite so many details.”  The older woman shrugged.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kristy laughed and lifted her feet out of the water.  “It almost killed Matt not knowing.  And while I don’t know Derek that well, I feel like Derek and Matt are cut from the same cloth.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They are.”  Emily agreed.  “Though Matt puts a little bit more thought into things before he does them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would challenge that statement.”  Kristy laughed softly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily’s dark eyebrows arched and she looked over at Kristy.  “Derek has been almost blown up half a dozen times.”  She said, shaking her head.  “And that’s since I’ve known him.  Who the hell knows what he did before.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The women laughed as they relaxed in the massage chairs, their feet pampered.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>“You played ball in college?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek nodded.  “Yeah quarterback and some free safety.”  He took a drink of his beer before pulling his eyes away from the TV.  “You?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Basketball, not football.  Mom didn’t want me to get hurt.”  Matt joked.  “March madness is my weakness.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking a swallow of his beer, Derek nodded.  “You’ll have to talk to Mackenzie.  She has two NCAA championships under her belt.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’s she doing by the way?”  Matt knew about their attack and had been speaking with Derek about Mackenzie’s reaction to the attack.  Matt had served in the military and gave Derek a little bit more insight to the younger woman.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shrugging, Derek took another sip of his beer.  “Not really sure, she’s pretty withdrawn.  We’ve gone running a couple of times, but only around the block over and over again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Matt nodded and ran his finger over the lip of the beer bottle.  “I saw it with guys who came back after a tour of duty.  PTSD.”  He said softly.  “Women don’t serve in battle in the US.  In other countries they do, but not here, so I’m assuming that this would be the first real...war that Mackenzie has been in.  Don’t push, but be there for her to talk to.  Maybe she can talk to JJ or Emily.  They’ve both been through stuff like this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek had never served, but he understood the concepts when it came to trauma.  “Yeah, maybe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The men finished their beers before Matt’s phone went off.  He glanced at it and sighed, returning a quick text.  “Babysitter.  Nothing’s on fire, but Lily hates mac and cheese today.  I told her to feed her whatever she’ll eat.”  He gave Derek a smile.  “Are you ready for it man?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Were you?”  Derek ran his hand over his face.  The BAU wasn’t exactly the next sample for asking people about having children.  Hotch was no longer with the team, and Rossi didn’t know his child until she was an adult, so that left Matt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not really.  But you learn as the baby grows.  And you and Emily will be great parents, I have no doubts about that.  It’s a lot of work, and for the first year you’re exhausted, but it’s so so worth it.”  The younger man’s face broke into an easy smile.  “And my kids are so excited to have babies around, especially the twins.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek smiled and ordered them another beer.  “We’re ready for it, well I hope we’re ready for it.”  He corrected.  “And I can handle the lack of sleep.  It’s been a long road but I think we’re ready for it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Matt nodded and brought the beer to his lips.  “So, are you guys going to find out the sex of the babies?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rolling his eyes, Derek took a long drink of his beer.  “Emily doesn’t want to.  She said that everything else in this pregnancy has been planned, she wants ONE thing to be a surprise.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And it’s killing you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“AND it’s KILLING me.”  Derek repeated.  “Honestly.  Like she wants to paint the nursery with yellows, and greys, and greens.  Buy gender neutral baby clothes so they can share clothes.  I get that it’s logical, and regardless they’ll be individuals and if we have one boy and one girl we’ll buy them different clothes...but…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Matt laughed.  “No uterus, no opinion.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No uterus, no opinion.  So we’ll wait until they’re born.”  Derek said with a small smile.  His fingers tapped the screen of his phone and it lit up a picture of him and Emily at their wedding.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can text her.”  Matt said, a soft gentle smile on his face.  While both Emily and Derek were older than him and Kristy, it was still new for them.  Matt had married Kristy when they were young, early 20s, and had started their family soon after.  They were the “old married couple” in their group of friends, and even more so in the BAU.  “I know Kristy and Garcia are planning Emily a baby shower, why don’t we plan something?  Like get the nursery ready.  Luke, Dave, not sure how Spencer is with tools.  But while the women do their thing, we can do ours.”  He glanced at the older man.  “Do you guys have a theme yet?  Or does EMILY have a theme yet?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Smiling, Derek shrugged.  “Actually, we haven’t talked about a theme yet, but I’m sure she has something in mind.”  He said honestly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course she does, she’s Emily.”  Matt returned the smile and finished his beer.  “Speaking of which, we should probably get going and pick up the ladies for lunch.  As much as Kristy will argue she doesn’t, she gets hangry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek laughed and placed some bills on the table to cover their tab.  “Emily does too.  Even more so now that she’s pregnant.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eating for two.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Three.”  Derek shrugged and pulled on his jacket.  “Let’s go make sure those lady folk are fed.”  They walked out to his SUV, Matt and Kristy’s being full of car seats.  Their wives walked out of the spa, Matt hopping out of the passenger side and helping Emily in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where to, ladies?”  Derek asked as Matt climbed in the back seat with Kristy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily’s hands spanned her belly as she rubbed it softly.  “I really want sushi.”  Emily started.  She felt three pairs of eyes on her and she sighed.  “Which I fully understand that I can’t have, so instead how about we get some teriyaki bowls and tempura?  Let’s be honest, I want the deep fried stuff.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kristy laughed softly from the back and nodded.  “I could go for some tempura.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Off to Bomb we go.”  Derek said, glancing at Matt who gave him a smile in the rearview mirror.  He knew that the booths at Bomb were small and he didn’t want to cause Emily any undue stress, so they ordered out and brought it back to their home.  Their place was larger than Matt and Kristy’s with both of them being unit chiefs.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your place is so clean.”  Kristy commented as she helped Emily place the plates on the table.  “No hand prints on the walls, cheerios on the floor.  Hopefully you guys aren’t too attached to the spotless show home look.”  She joked as she placed chopsticks on the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily laughed.  “That’s more of a Derek thing than an us thing.”  She said opening the tempura.  Derek and Matt cracked beers while Emily filled two glasses with flavoured sparkling water.  “Though, I’m not really sure I lived with mess growing up.  I had nannies and we had help.”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>The conversation flowed easily, and Emily finally pushed away her plate.  “Honestly, I can’t wait to see fingerprints on the walls and cheerios on the floor.”  She smiled at her husband who gave her hand a gentle smile.  “I honestly thought that I wasn’t cut out to be a mother.”  She said softly. “And then I just thought that I would never get the chance to be a mother.”  Her hands rested on her bump, dark eyes glancing over at Derek.  “When I was alone in Europe, I swore to myself that if I had the chance to come back, I would make the most of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their fingers brushed against one another under the table, the spark between them visible to the other two at the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re going to be a great mom, Emily.”  Kristy said softly.  “And you have lots of built in babysitters.”  She smiled, waiting for the other woman to look up.  “And you guys have help, you don’t need to do it alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Matt nodded in agreement.  “Whatever we can do to help.  I told Derek that I’d help with the nursery, and I’m sure Dave and Luke would too.  We can get Spencer to...measure things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek laughed and nodded.  “I’ll let you guys know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Better get started now.  You’re halfway there…”  Matt said, watching as the colour drain from Derek’s dark complexion.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Halfway there.”  Emily whispered.  She bit down on the inside of her cheek, her heart dropping.  A hard kick took her breath away and she winced, looking at the faces around her.  “We’re halfway there.”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <em>
    <span>JJ sighed and watched as Derek stormed into the bullpen and then into his office, wincing as the door slammed.  It had been a couple weeks since the incident with Doyle and everyone was still feeling the effects of missing Emily, but no one was taking it as badly or as hard as Derek.  He locked himself in his office for hours at a time.  He had grown harder, more guarded, if that was possible for the darker man.  Without Emily he seemed lost.  He was lost.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They did their work, and Derek went home.  He shut himself off from the world.  The rest of the team spoke in low whispers, watching their friend mourn so privately, yet so publicly.  One night, after a particularly hard case, JJ watched him leave.  His fingers brushed over the picture of Emily on the fallen heroes wall before heading the elevator.  She followed him, watching him pick up beer and Chinese food and head back to his house.  She knew it was intruding, but she had checked on everyone but him.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Her knock rang hollow and she gently turned the doorknob.  He was on the floor, the Chicago PD shirt JJ had seen Emily wearing years ago clutched in his hands, tears streaming down his cheeks.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>JJ sat down beside him draping an arm over him.  “I know.”  She whispered softly.  There was only so much she could do.  So much she could say.  She hoped that one day the truth could come out but right now this was the best she could do.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It still smells like her.”  He whispered through the tears.  “I don’t know what I’m gonna do JJ when it stops smelling like her.”  His tears flowed down his cheeks until he was too dehydrated to even cry anymore.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She held him, and did everything she could, her heart in pain every single second of that night.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0049"><h2>49. Concerning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Derek and Emily go to their ultrasound appointment and find some news about their babies and Emily's pregnancy so far.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“I told you. You don't love someone because of their looks or their clothes or their car. You love them because they sing a song only your heart can understand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>― </span>
  <b>L.J. Smith</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Derek stared at the screen, trying hard to find something that would tip him off.  Emily rolled her eyes and swatted his shoulder gently.  He grinned up at her and slid back, interlacing his fingers with hers.  Dr Montgomery smiled and paused the screen with some measurements on it.  “So there is baby A.  They’re about 30 centimeters long and weigh about 250 grams.  That’s the low end of average for multiples, but it’s still normal.”  She smiled and took a few pictures before moving the wand higher up.  “This is baby B.”  The screen froze and they all stared at it.  “Baby B is smaller, they’re about 24 centimetres long and weigh about 210 grams.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does that mean that we’re going to lose baby B?  Or that something is wrong?”  Emily asked quickly, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes.  Derek’s hand squeezed Emily’s as his eyes fell shut.  They couldn’t, not after everything they’ve been through, lose a baby.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.  It just means that baby B may need to spend a bit of time in the NICU once they’re here.”  The doctor said seriously.  She turned to Emily and gave her a look.  “So, Emily, how are you feeling?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tearing her eyes away from the screen, Emily shrugged.  “Okay.  I don’t really have anything to compare it to.”  She said honestly.  “But what I’ve read, it seems to be a lot of the same stuff.  Muscle aches and pains, heartburn…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Addison sat back and looked through Emily’s chart.  “Headaches?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A few.”  Her heart started to race and Emily’s hands came up to her face, her thumbnail in her mouth.  “Is this bad news?”  She mumbled around her thumb.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek sighed silently and gently pulled her hand away from her face.  Kissing her knuckles, he smiled before looking back at the doctor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s concerning.  It’s the first sign of preeclampsia.”  Addison said rolling back towards her desk.  “Your blood pressure right now is on the higher side of normal, but it’s still higher.  Your body is under a lot of stress with the babies, and I’m not suggesting what so ever that we abandon the pregnancy, but we need to keep on top of this.  I’m going to suggest half days and we’ll see if that helps.  If it doesn’t, we might need to seriously look at bedrest until you can deliver these babies, Emily.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her face darkened and her eyebrows knitted together.  Derek knew that look and he winced, bracing himself for an explosion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if I did consults?”  Emily asked, her voice a soft whisper.  “Not go out into the field unless I have to.  Sometimes I </span>
  <b>have</b>
  <span> to be there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Addison exchanged a quick glance with Derek whose face was stone and unreadable.  “What does consulting entail?”  The redhead asked, her hands folded on her lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can work from the office, and a lot of it is doing research and communicating with the victims and their families.”  Her hands twitched in Derek’s grasp.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Emily’s specialty is in terrorism, linguistics and child advocacy.”  Derek interjected.  “And as the unit chief, I’m sure there’s stuff she’d be able to do in the office.”  He looked pleadingly at his wife, her face hard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would be more comfortable with Emily not in the field.  I understand that this is your job, but I also want to keep you, and your babies as healthy for as long as possible.  Actually, what I want is to keep those babies inside of you for as long as possible.  I’d love to get you to 35 weeks, that’s our goal, but anything after 27 weeks would be amazing.  At 27 weeks they’re no longer considered micro-preemies and their chance of survival is 95%.”  The red headed doctor gave them both a smile.  “My job is to make sure that you and your babies are safe to the best of my abilities, but we need to work together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily sighed and rubbed her temples.  “Okay, I’ll figure something out.”  She mumbled leaning back against the bed.  Derek squeezed her hand and gave the doctor a small smile.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Addison nodded and ran her fingers through her hair.  “Okay, so how about we get some glamour shots of these two.”  She said giving Emily and Derek both smiles.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek nodded and kissed Emily’s fingers.  She looked over at him and gave him a watery smile before pulling their connected hands up and kissed his fingers.  They waited until a face, a fully formed face, came onto the screen.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is baby A.”  Addison said gently, snapping a few pictures.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Looks like Baby A got Daddy’s nose.”  Emily said with a gentle smile, watching as a little perfectly formed hand came up to the baby’s mouth.  “And a thumbsucker.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek choked back tears as he watched the screen.  After a few moments Addison moved the wand higher up and another face came onto the screen.  Baby B came on the screen and they smiled as the fetus brushed a hand over its face and squirmed around.  His fingers tightened around Emily’s and he pressed a soft kiss on her forehead.  This was something he imagined, but never thought would be possible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They left, with pictures in hand heading back to the office.  Sure, they could’ve taken the rest of the day off, but Derek wanted to show the team his babies.  With his chest puffed out with pride, he showed the pictures off to anyone and everyone.  Garcia, of course, wanted copies to post.  Emily sat in her office, one hand protectively over her growing abdomen, her mind elsewhere.  Since she had graduated Yale, being a member of the FBI and the BAU was the only thing she ever wanted.  Maybe she wanted to be the head of the FBI, but as she sat there, feeling her babies move under her hands, she wondered if she made the right decision.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door opened silently and slowly, the blonde sliding in quietly and coming to rest beside her best friend.  Emily glanced over and gave JJ a soft smile.  The blonde sat down on the chair and waited.  Out of the two, JJ was the one who was a talker, Emily was happy to sit in silence.  They sat there, Emily running small circles on her belly, JJ watching her, biting down on her lower lip.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The doctor suggested that I start staying in the office more, and maybe I start doing half days.  Or maybe eventually bedrest.”  Emily’s hand slid over to where By B was kicking up a storm.  She sighed and looked at JJ.  “I just...I just want these babies to be healthy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blonde nodded and slid closer to Emily, pressing her hand against her friend’s belly.  “You and Derek will have to discuss what to do and I know that you two will do what’s the best for you, and your babies.”  She said softly.  “And we have more members of the team than we’ve ever had.”  She continued.  “We can handle it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily sighed and slid her hand over to the bottom where Baby A was now moving.  “I know you guys can, and that’s part of the problem.  I don’t want to give Barnes any reason to fire me.”  She sighed, her hand never leaving the bump.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She can’t fire you because you’re pregnant.  That’s illegal on so many different levels and would be bad press for the FBI and Barnes.”  JJ said, smiling as she felt a strong kick.  “And your doctor is probably more concerned about the amount of time we spend flying than she is about the amount of time you’re on the job.”  She reasoned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was true, they spent a huge amount of time on a plane, which wasn’t exactly healthy for pregnant women at the best of times, let alone a woman at her age, carrying twins.  “Yeah, that could be it.”  She said softly.  “Maybe I’ll start slowly, you know, only stay home when it’s a trip that’s more than 3 hours by plane.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek stood in the doorway, a gentle smile on his face and looked down at the two women.  “Start slowly.”  He repeated shaking his head.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two of them looked up with a guilty smile on their faces.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I know full well that I’m not going to change you.”  He said honestly.  “But hearing you say that you’re going to make some small steps, that’s reassuring.”  His smile reached his eyes, the darkness twinkling with mirth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ got to her feet, pressing a soft kiss on the temple of her best friend.  “We just want what’s best for you, Mama.”  Her fingers grazed Emily’s belly before she left, closing the door behind her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t think I’m stupid and taking irrational risks?”  Emily asked softly, cupping her belly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek took JJ’s spot and rested his hand on top of hers.  “Never.”  Leaning over, he pecked her lips softly.  “Anyway, I need to go do a consultation on a case and I’m sure you have some stuff you need to do, boss lady.”  His eyebrows wiggled and he kissed her again.  “Message me when you’re ready to go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her hand rubbed small circles on her belly as she watched him go.  Sighing, she pulled out the files on her desk and started to go through them.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>The chill wrapped around them and Emily tried to wrap her arms around herself.  Derek shrugged off his sweater and tugged it over her.  She smiled softly and leaned her head against his shoulder, walking through the underground.  It was late October, the cool wind bit into their skin.  He felt the shiver run through her body and he gently rubbed her sides.  Climbing into the SUV, Emily turned up the heat and warmed her hands as they pulled out of the underground parking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We should start looking at things like carseats and strollers and getting the nursery together.”  She commented as the SUV started to warm up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek nodded and reached over, their fingers interlacing.  “We should, but how about we wait until next weekend after the surprise baby shower that isn’t a surprise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded and leaned back heavily against the seat.  “Right, the halloween costume babyshower.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shrugging, Derek pulled onto the freeway.  “You know Garcia, and I refuse to argue with her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everyone refuses to argue with her.”  Emily closed her eyes for a few moments before looking back at Derek.  “Apparently we all need costumes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We do.”  He gave her a smile.  “We can figure something out.  Garcia has already been sending me pictures of couples costumes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes flicked towards him but she didn’t say anything as they drove.  They turned onto their street and found a car parked in the driveway with out of state plates.  Exchanging glances, Derek put the vehicle into park and climbed out.  The lights in their house were on and he walked in, a confused look on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ma, what are you doing here?”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Fran smiled at the couple and nodded towards the meal on the table.  “Mackenzie let me in.”  She said in way of explanation.  “Come, sit.  It’s not much, but I made supper.  Chicken, rice, roasted vegetables.”  Motioning to the table, she gave both of them a hard stare and Derek dropped on the chair, quickly followed by Emily.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you, Ma, but...what are you doing here?”  Derek asked finally as he finished his plate of food.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The older woman smiled and placed more food on Derek’s plate.  “Well, I moved here.  To be closer to you guys.  And don’t worry, I didn’t sell the house.  Desi gave up her lease and she’s there right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So where are you living now?”  He asked slowly, glancing at Emily who was picking at her food.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I’ll be renting a place not that far from here.  I want to help out.  I can help clean and cook for you guys, and then help out when the babies are born.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily put her fork down and glanced at Derek who seemed stunned.  “This is stupid.”  She said, shaking her head when Fran’s face fell.  “You shouldn’t be at a hotel, Fran.  We have plenty of room here.”  Emily gave her mother-in-law a smile.  “We have two extra bedrooms, one is obviously going to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>eventually</span>
  </em>
  <span> turned into a nursery.”  She shot Derek a look before looking back at Fran.  “The spare bedroom is all yours.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fran smiled and squeezed Emily’s forearm.  “The offer is sweet, Emily.  But you two need your own space, and the apartment is close enough…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek stopped listening as an idea popped into his mind.  Without finishing eating, or excusing himself, he got to his feet and walked into the backyard.  They had a pool house in the backyard, complete with plumbing and electricity.  It was big for a pool house, about 350 square feet, but only one story.  He had an idea.  Walking back to the house, he pulled out a pad of paper and started to sketch, only stopping when he felt Emily’s bump against his back.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about a granny suite?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily tightened her grip and pulled herself as close as possible against Derek.  “What about it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For mom.  We can add a second floor to the pool house for a bedroom and lounge area.  It already has plumbing. I could apply for the permit.”  He turned and looked at his wife.  “What do you think?  Then she would have space but would be close.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shrugging, Emily stood on her toes and pressed a kiss on his lips.  “How about you discuss it with her.  I’m fine with whatever you two are fine with.  You know I love your mom.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek nodded and wrapped his arms around her waist before leading her to where his mom was filling the dishwasher.  “Ma, how about I change the pool house out back into a granny suite?  Get a permit to add a floor and we’d put in a kitchen and a washroom, and then you’d have a bedroom and a lounge area.  You would still have access to the house, obviously, but you’d have your own space.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to do that for me, Derek.  I’d be fine renting a place.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rolling his eyes, Derek shook his head.  “We know you would be, but we’d love to have you close when the babies are born and all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fran looked between the two of them, Emily leaning against Derek with a smile on her face.  “Are you two sure?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Positive.  We would be honoured to have you with us, Fran.  And the babies would be SO lucky to have you as their grandma and for you to be with them all the time.”  She said quietly.  “You’re the only grandparent they have right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With tears in her eyes Fran nodded.  “Of course, if you two want me here, I’ll be here.  I want to be here for you, and of course my grandbabies.”  She walked over and embraced her son, before embracing Emily, her hands falling to her belly and leaving her palm pressed against the side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Guess I have some applications to fill out.”  Derek said with a smirk as he went and grabbed his laptop.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily smiled and placed her hand on Fran’s.  “I’m glad you’re here, Fran.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too, Emily.  Me too.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0050"><h2>50. Baby shower</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Time for Emily and Derek's baby shower and all of the insanity that goes along with it.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please note there is a non-explicit sex scene at the beginning of the chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“When it's gone, you'll know what a gift love was. You'll suffer like this. So go back and fight to keep it.”</p><p>― Ian McEwan, <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/31779">Enduring Love</a></p><p> </p><p>Derek sighed as Emily slammed the door.  The baby shower was going to be held at Rossi’s and despite Garcia stating that it was a costume party, Emily refused to wear a costume.</p><p>“I’m not fucking wearing it.”  She said through the door.  “It’s my party and I can wear whatever I want.”</p><p>He looked helplessly at Fran who just shrugged.  Slowly he opened the door and slid into their bedroom.  Emily was sitting on the bed, the costume beside her.  “It doesn’t fit, okay?”  She whispered softly, her head in her hands.  </p><p>Sighing Derek sat down next to her and wrapped his arms around her.  “You can wear whatever you want.  As long as you come.”  He said, pressing a kiss on her shoulder.</p><p>After a while, Emily finally looked up.  Her eyes were rimmed with red and she rested her head on his shoulder.  “I need a shower.”  She said softly.</p><p>Derek nodded and pressed a few soft kisses on her hair.  “Sure.  Do you need help?”  As the pregnancy progressed, there were things that Derek had started doing for Emily.  She hated asking for help, hated needing help.  </p><p>A shrug and a pink colouring her cheeks.  She got to her feet and headed towards the washroom, Derek following close behind.  She turned on the shower and stepped in, the steam filling up the room.  Derek stripped his clothes and left them in the corner before walking into the spray of water.  He watched as Emily changed and he extended his hand to her.  Carefully she walked into the shower, they were both so thankful that they had a separate bathtub and shower, and that their shower was large enough to hold both of them and still have extra space.  His arms wrapped around her, his fingers lacing together and gently holding up her belly.  He knew that the extra weight was starting to pull on her joints and she spent a lot of time in pain.  If there was anything in the world he could do to take away her pain, he would.  They stood together under the hot spray until Derek moved his hands.  He reached for the shampoo and rubbed it through her hair.  His fingers massaged her scalp softly, before kissing her wet skin.  Rinsing her hair, he massaged some conditioner in before moving her out of the spray of water.  They had been together long enough that he knew her hair care routine.  His hands ran down her sides, Emily leaning against him.  One arm wrapped around her tightly, holding her against him, his other hand sliding down her body.  She rocked against him, his other hand tightening around her waist.  The pleasure came quickly and he held her up as it washed over her like the warm water.  He slowly moved her back under the water to rinse out the conditioner out of her hair.  They stayed under the water until their fingers and toes started to wrinkle and a shiver ran through her body.  Gently, Derek helped her out of the shower and wrapped her in a warm fuzzy towel.  He led her to their bed and smiled.  “We still have some time before we have to go to the party.  How about you take a quick nap?”</p><p>Emily blinked and nodded without argument.  She crawled under the covers and Derek slid on a pair of sweats and a hoodie before grabbing his phone and slipping out of the room.</p><p>Dropping on the couch, he pulled out his phone and sent a quick text to the team.  Emily isn’t wearing a costume to the party.  Don’t ask.  Don’t comment.</p><p>He sighed and leaned against the couch cushion.</p>
<hr/><p>“EMMY!”  Noah ran up to Emily and wrapped his little arms around her as best he could, pressing his head against her belly.  “I fink I fee’ da babies.”  He commented with a smile.  </p><p>“They’re giving you a high five.”  She replied, nodding as Derek scooped up the little boy.  “I see you’re Spiderman.”</p><p>“I ‘Piderman.”  He said emphatically.  </p><p>Mackenzie walked by and gave the two of them a shy smile.  Since the attack the younger woman had pulled away, isolated herself, but recently the smallest sliver of the old Mackenzie shone through.  Noah looked at his mother and shook his head.  “Mama ‘piderman mom.”  He said seriously.</p><p>The younger woman had her hair back in braids, her face free of any makeup.  She was wearing a pair of grey leggings, with a long turquoise tunic style shirt.  Her baby bump was barely visible Emily noticed.  Mackenzie smiled shyly and rocked back on her heels. </p><p>“You look great, Emily.”  Mackenzie said softly.  “How are you feeling?”</p><p>“Pregnant with twins.”  She laughed softly.  “How about you?”</p><p>Mackenzie shrugged and picked at her nails.  “Alright.  Back to work now full time.”  Her dark eyes were downcast and she took a step back.  The nervous energy from the young woman was thick enough to cut, her hands twisting in front of her.</p><p>“That’s great.”  Emily said, laying a friendly hand on her shoulder.  </p><p>The younger woman gave a shy smile and nodded, her hands brushed over the front of her sweater.  Turning to Noah who was happily in Derek’s arms, she gave her son a look.  “Noah, are you excited about having a baby brother or sister?”</p><p>Noah shook his head.  “No.  I want Emmy baby not Mama baby.”</p><p>“Why not buddy?  You can have your own baby brother or sister?”</p><p>“I no wanna ‘are.”  Noah explained.  “I mama and umi ‘pecial boy”</p><p>Derek hiked him higher on his hip.  “You’re always going to be Mama and Umi’s special boy.”  He gave Mackenzie a smile, but stayed a respectable distance away.  He understood trauma, and he wanted Mackenzie to come around on her terms.  “Anyway, we should probably head inside.”  Gently putting Noah down, he wrapped his arm around Emily’s waist.  He knocked at the door and Rossi opened it with a wide smile.  He took their jackets before leading them all inside.  The dining room was filled with gifts, their friends and family standing around.  Rossi gave Emily a grin and shrugged.  “È per te e per i bambini, bellissima.”</p><p>She knew that there was going to be a baby shower, but in true Penelope Garcia fashion it was over the top.  Green, yellow, and grey streamers and balloons hung from the ceiling, a huge cake in the same colours on the table and a mountain of gifts.  Emily looked around at the room, before twisting her hands in front of her.  Tears welled in her eyes and Garcia rushed towards her, wrapping her arms around her friend.</p><p>“Mama!  Don’t cry!”</p><p>Sniffling, Emily shook her head.  “Hormones.  She mumbled, using the pregnancy to hide her real emotions.  She looked up and gave the group a shy smile.  “Thank you everyone.  This is...too much.  Amazing, but too much.”</p><p>Tara laughed and shook her head.  “You know we don’t do too much.”  She chuckled.  “And come on, these two are TRUE BAU royalty.  We have to go over the top.”  </p><p>Luke pulled up a chair for Emily and helped her sit down.  “Come on, Boss.”  He said with a wide smile.  “Take a seat.”</p><p>“We were told that under any circumstance, we were not to be playing any games.”  Garcia said, handing Emily a mocktail.  “So instead of filling our time with fun games, we can open presents!  And then Rossi ordered food from an amazing place and we have cupcakes, and I know that you guys don’t know the gender and I was going to hack in and try to find it but then I decided that I would be just as surprised as you guys…”  The blonde said in one breath.  “Come on, Mama, all of this is for you and your babies.”</p><p>Emily looked around the room.  Everyone was there, even her mother, though she looked highly uncomfortable.  Gifts started to be passed around and Emily grabbed Derek, pulling him down on a chair beside her.  “They’re your babies too.”  She reasoned with a shrug.  </p><p>Their babies were going to be the most spoiled little humans on the planet Emily decided after working their way through gifts.  “We’re going to need a bigger vehicle to take all this stuff home in.”  Emily commented, shaking her head.</p><p>“I have our SUV.”  JJ piped up with a laugh as she passed Emily a plate of food.  She sat down next to her best friend and watched as Derek looked through their pile of gifts, shaking his head slightly.  The BAU had pooled the money together to get two convertible cribs, but then had all decided to buy their own gifts on top of the cribs.  Mackenzie and Taala had given them a twins running stroller, with two spiderman stuffies in them.  Overwhelmed was an understatement.  Emily dabbed at her eyes as she started to pick at the food on her plate.  Her mother disappeared quickly, handing Emily an envelope before giving an excuse of a meeting that she HAD to go to.</p><p>Derek gave her a tight lipped smile and watched her open it.  Two cheques fell out.  One for $50 000, the other for $25 000.  In the memo of the first one, it just simply said “for the babies”.  On the second it said, in stiff block lettering, “For your needs.”</p><p>$75 000 was more than Derek had ever held in his two hands at once.  He looked down at Emily who seemed to be sitting in a stunned silence.  “Em?”</p><p>“My mom is terrible with emotions.”  She said slowly, deliberately choosing her words.  “This is the best she can do.  And it’s not to buy us off, it’s her way of making sure that her grandkids have whatever they need.”  </p><p>Derek stared at the cheques.  This was more money than his mother would earn in a year working as a nurse.  He glanced back at his wife who seemed quite apathetic to the whole thing.  Most of the time their different upbringing wasn't a big deal.  Most of the time they didn’t even remember how different each one of them grew up.  Then something like this would happen and it would hit them both in the face.  Emily didn’t even seem surprised or impressed by the amount of money.  To Derek, it was astounding.</p><p>“Uh...what do we do with the cheques?”  He asked folding them up carefully in his wallet.</p><p>Emily frowned and took a bite of the food.  “We put them in savings accounts.”  She said as if this was the most normal thing in the world.  “The babies will have a college account.”</p><p>They weren’t hurting for money by any means, but her family was RICH.  She and Derek were well off.  There was a difference.  Derek put his wallet back in his pocket and swallowed hard.  This money, in 18 years could help their kids through college.  Reaching down, he placed his hand on her belly.  He felt movements under his palm and he smiled proudly.  Those were his babies.  Emily smiled up at him, her smile lighting up the room.  Despite the room being packed with their friends and family, his focus was on Emily.  He pressed a few kisses on her lips, each one deepening slightly.</p><p>“Stop.”  JJ whispered, nudging her friend.  “There are other people here.”</p><p>Emily had the good graces to blush.  Derek on the other hand just gave the blonde a smirk and walked away to go chat with Matt and Luke.</p><p>It took their SUV and JJ’s to haul everything back to their house.  Derek, Luke, and Rossi started carrying the larger boxes in, though Rossi mainly delegated and visited with Fran.  Luke dropped the last box that held another crib.  </p><p>“Guess you guys are gonna have to start looking at doing the nursery.”  He commented looking around.  The room was full of boxes, minus the dresser and change tables.</p><p>“Yeah, guess so.”  Derek mumbled, rubbing his hand over his face.  Things were happening so fast it made his head spin.  After making sure everything was in, they walked back to the main room and found JJ and Emily on a tablet, giggles shared between the two women.  Rossi and Fran were on the back porch, each with a glass of scotch in their hands. </p><p> “We have lots to do before those two come.”  Emily piped up, easily reading Derek’s mind.  “You know, if we paid for a contractor to finish the granny suite, that would be one less thing to worry about.  And we can pay someone to do the nursery.”  She reasoned.  </p><p>Derek’s face darkened and he crossed his arms over his chest.  “I can do it.”</p><p>JJ and Emily exchanged glances and Emily propped her feet up on the ottoman.  “Trust me Derek, we know that you can do it.  It’s just a matter of time.  With both of us gone all the time on cases, we literally do not have enough time to do everything.  Our babies are going to be born and they’re going to be sleeping in boxes.”</p><p>Her husband’s face darkened, creases running over his forehead.  Emily looked up and reached for him.  Once he walked over, Emily pulled him down for a soft kiss.  “Just let other people in, Derek.”  She whispered.  “We’re a family.  Let other people help.”  </p><p>Derek shrugged, but returned her kiss softly.  He knew she was right, that with their jobs and their schedules made it hard for them to do everything.</p><p>A few hours later, they were in bed together, Emily cuddling up with the pregnancy pillow that she finally reluctantly purchased.  </p><p>“Do you have your list of names?”</p><p>Emily struggled to sit up, but finally pulled herself up.  “Yeah, I do.”  They had decided to pick out names separately and then look at them together.  She reached for her phone and traded it with Derek’s.  They had quite a few of the same names, but there were some that stuck out.  They wanted their names to be meaningful to carry something deeper than just names.  She pointed to a few on his list.  “I think these go well together for a boy.”  She said softly.  </p><p>“I really like those for a girl.”  His face lit up as he started to write them together.  He said the names out loud, the combination rolling off his tongue.  </p><p>They made back up names, so that if they had two boys or two girls, they would all have names.  Emily put her phone back on the end table and cuddled up against Derek best she could.  “Guess our babies won’t be nameless.”  She said with a smile.  </p><p>“Guess not.”  He rested his hand on her abdomen, smiling as he felt some soft kicks.  “Want to get those babies dancing in there?”</p><p>Emily laughed, her head back the soft gentleness of the freeing motion softening her face.  “Y’know how I said that you were lucky that I don’t just lie there and make you do all the work?”</p><p>His eyebrow arched and he propped himself up on one elbow.  “Yes…”</p><p>“Well my gorgeous husband of mine, if you want to feel them dance, you’re going to have to do the work.”</p><p>It was his turn to laugh as he stripped off his shirt.  “My pleasure, Princess.  My pleasure.”</p><p>Shaking her head, Emily struggled with her top.  “No, it’s going to be my pleasure.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0051"><h2>51. When it rains it pours</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>On a case, things start piling up for Emily and it's one thing after another that goes wrong.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“I belong to my beloved, and my beloved is mine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>― </span>
  <b>Jamie McGuire, </b>
  <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/16441531">
    <b>Beautiful Disaster</b>
  </a>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily was almost giddy as she climbed into the SUV.  She had promised not to do any cases that required long flights, and this one was within driving distance.  Tara stole a glance at her and shook her head.  “You might be the only person I know that is excited about a mass murder.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shrugging, Emily struggled with the seatbelt before finally buckling it up.  “I’m being threatened with bed rest.  This case is close enough for us to drive.  I’m not sure what you expected.”  She said with a smirk.  “And before you ask, I have water, and a snack.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tara rolled her eyes and waited for JJ to climb in the back.  The blonde looked between the two women in the front and shook her head.  “Emily, you look far too excited to be going on a case that includes 5 bodies so far.”  She commented.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What can I say, the fact that I actually get to go on cases is a plus.”  Emily grinned and pulled out her phone, sending Derek a quick message.  The drive from Virginia to Kentucky wasn’t far, but it was far enough that they would have to spend the night.  Once they arrived at the police precinct, Emily climbed out of the SUV and stretched.  She was wearing the belly band, hoping that it would bring her some relief, and a loose wite button down shirt and a pair of black stretchy pants.  Her hair had grown, brushing her shoulders, curling slightly since the pregnancy, her usually pale skin coloured with a soft pink flush that only a pregnant woman could possess.  She gave Tara and JJ a small smile before reaching into the SUV and grabbed her bag with her tablet, along with some snacks in it.  Their go-bags were already at the hotel where Matt had dropped them off earlier.  They walked into the precinct and Emily scanned the room before walking over and speaking with the sheriff.  The older man was taken aback as Emily introduced herself, but he took it well and motioned to a room for them to use.  The women dropped their bags in the corner and a few moments later the rest of the team arrived.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, let’s go.  Tara will stay back with me and we’ll interview the victim’s families.  Reid will work on the geo-profile.  Rossi and JJ go to the morgue and speak with the coroner.  Matt and Luke, head out to the crime scene.”  Emily said, looking down at the file.  “Keep in touch, we’ll meet back here around 4.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily was infinitely glad that she had the support of the team she had.  They were well trained with heavy experience.  She could trust them to do their jobs without her, but she loved being with them and doing her job.  She watched as people started to stream into the precinct and Emily gave Tara a small nod.  If she decided to leave the FBI, Emily could see herself doing something with victims’ rights.  They had talked about it, her and Derek, but they both knew that she could be FBI director one day.  It would all hinge on their babies.  Her hand rested on the top of her bump and smiled as she felt a strong kick.  Tara glanced at her, her eyebrows raised.  “That was a foot.”  Emily said, shaking her head.  “Baby B.  Much smaller than baby A, but kicks up a storm.”  She grabbed Tara’s hand and placed it on her stomach where the kicking continued.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s pretty amazing.”  Tara whispered, a slight edge of sadness in her voice.  She had been married.  She had been engaged, but neither of those relationships had been strong enough to handle babies, hell they hadn’t been strong enough to handle one another.  She gave her friend a tight lipped smile.  Emily placed her hand over Tara’s and nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is, and these babies are gonna be so lucky to have you as an auntie.”  She squeezed Tara’s hand softly before looking at the line of people stream in.  They had their work cut out for them.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grabbing her tablet and phone, Emily headed out with Tara behind her, each heading to different interview rooms.  She was good at dealing with people, even better with dealing with children.  They did interview after interview, notes filling up books and tablets.  They worked through lunch, Emily snacking on the nuts and granola bars that Derek had packed for her.  Emily exited the room, feeling every eye in the building on her.  “Haven’t they ever seen a pregnant woman before?”  She muttered under her breath, spotting JJ whose eyes grew huge.  The blonde walked over to her, an arm around her shoulder as she ushered her into the room and closed the door.  “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ looked over at Tara who bit down on her lower lip.  “Em, um…”  She took a breath, trying to figure out the best way to say what she wanted when the door opened and the men walked in.  Luke came to a sudden stop in front of Emily causing Reid and Matt to slam into him and each other.  He stared at Emily before looking away quickly.  Matt looked at Emily and then JJ and held his arms out and moved the two other men out of the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is going ON?”  Emily muttered, crossing her arms across her chest.  It was then that she felt the cold wetness against her forearms and her face blushed.  “Fuck.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ gave her friend an understanding smile.  “Sorry Mama, your milk came in.”  She said softly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily hid her face in her hands.  “I can’t believe this happened.  And here.  With everyone…”  Tears leaked from between her fingers and Tara gently helped her into a chair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Em, it’s normal.  It was bound to happen sooner or later.”  She said softly.  The blonde sighed watching the embarrassment wash over her friend.  The tears kept dripping from between her fingers for a few moments until Emily looked up, makeup smeared.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need to go to the hotel.  I need to go back…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a soft knock at the door and Matt opened it, a sheepish look on his face.  “Here’s one of my hoodies.  It’s clean.”  He said quietly, giving Emily a soft look before disappearing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tara handed it to Emily who turned her back and unbuttoned her shirt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bra too.  Your nipples will get chafed in a wet bra.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily froze and slowly unclipped her bra before pulling on the sweatshirt.  “I’m NOT going out there braless.”  She whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You won’t be.” JJ reassured her.  “I’m going to go to the closest maternity store and I’m going to find you a new top and a couple of bras with removable padding.”  She pressed a kiss on Emily’s hair.  “So you stay here, I’ll tell the guys minus Matt to go get us some food and I should be back by then.”  She grabbed her phone and wallet and the keys to the SUV and headed out.  Tara grabbed Emily’s bag and handed it to her, Emily digging out a compact and a package of kleenex.  She wiped her face clear from her smudged make up and applied a new light layer of eye makeup.  Her eyes were still swollen and red from crying but she looked better than before.  Sighing, Emily looked at Tara and gave her a weak smile.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You doin’ okay there, Mama?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shrugged slowly before nodding.  “Yeah, I’m okay.” She said softly.  Placing everything back in her bag, she tugged on Matt’s sweatshirt before sighing.  “I’m just embarrassed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The darker woman nodded and got to her feet.  “It’s fine, Em.  No one cares.”  She slid her phone across the table.  “Now why don’t you call that beautiful hunk of man meat of a husband of yours.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughing softly, Emily picked up her phone.  “Thanks Tara..  And I was honest when I said that my babies are so lucky to have you as their auntie.”  She said softly.  “That they will have a badass proud amazing black woman to teach them everything that I can’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tara froze and stared at her friend, a stunned look on her face.  “Sorry?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily smiled, her hand resting on her belly.  “Tara, Derek and I have had this conversation.  Our kids are going to be biracial.  Chances are they are going to inherit Derek’s hair and Derek shaves his head for a reason because it’s unruly curly.  I’m going to need help, regardless if these babies are boys or girls because I’m not having bald children.  They’re going to need people around them who can help them grow up to be amazing humans and that might not always be me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few tears rolled down Tara’s face that she wiped away roughly.  “Those kids are going to have the best people around them, Emily.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.  And one of them is going to be you.”  She smiled up at her friend as she walked out of the room.  Emily dialed Derek’s number and told him about the incident, relaxing slightly as she heard his voice on the other line.  He reassured her that the team wouldn’t say anything and that it was a normal part of pregnancy.  He ended the conversation with their usual sign off.  “I love you.” to her “I love you more.” and his “I love you forever.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few moments later JJ knocked on the door and slid in, a bag in her hands.  She placed it on the table and pulled out a white top, with a zipper instead of buttons, and then three different bras.  The blonde gave her friend a gentle smile.  “They all have removable washable pads.”  I went with the same band size since we’re pretty close in size.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded and got to her feet.  “Thanks JJ.  I’m not sure what I would do without you.”  She said softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ shrugged.  “We’re a team, Em.  If one of us needs help, we’re going to do whatever we can to help.”  She took Emily’s other clothes and tossed them in a bag.  “We can get these washed when we get back to the hotel.  You go get changed and then we’ll have supper.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rubbing her eyes with the heel of her hands, Emily sighed deeply before getting to her feet.  “Thanks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You got it, Mama.”  JJ watched as Emily slipped out to go get changed.  She returned a few minutes later with the new clothes on and she passed the hoodie back to Matt.  He gave her a gentle smile and reached out, squeezing her arm as she lowered herself in the chair.  She wasn’t sure who had put in the order for food, but there was a bowl of tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich along with a smoothie sitting at the head of the table.  Emily gave everyone a shy quiet smile and took a bite of the sandwich.  They hashed out ideas before heading back to the field.  Emily and Tara had books full of notes that they compiled and compared them.  It was late into the night when the team, and local law enforcement were able to catch the unsub.  They all retired to the hotel, exhausted but relieved that they were able to find the unsub so quickly, and without any other murders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Drinks?”  Rossi suggested as the team spilled out of the precinct.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shook her head but waved the team towards the restaurant that was connected to the bar.  “I’m going to head upstairs.”  She said, her hands on the small of her back.  “But you guys have one or two for me and the babies.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ looped her arm around Emily’s waist and nodded.  “I have to go call Will and the boys, so I’ll walk up with you.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tara looked around at her company and gave a respectful nod.  “Sorry Rossi, but there’s too much testosterone at this table.  I have to get some reading done for my research so I’m gonna head up as well.”  She said flashing the men a smile.  “Even my looks can’t make this table pretty.”  She caught up to the two other women and smiled as the doors to the elevators closed.  “Plus, I have a mini bar with bottles that I’m going to charge to the bureau.”  She added with a light laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rubbing her stomach, Emily leaned against the bar in the elevator.  “Only a few months until I can have a glass of wine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Unless you plan on breastfeeding.”  JJ piped up as they made their way to the 4th floor.  She and Tara exchanged glances, smirks on their faces.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I forgot about breastfeeding.”  Emily groaned softly.  “If I can, I’ll breast feed.  It’s not the end of the world if I don’t, but I want to give it a try.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“It’s great for bonding with the baby and it also helps with dropping some of the baby weight.”  JJ said with a small shrug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily’s dark eyes rolled and she rubbed the underside of her belly.  ‘Yeah, I’ll need all the help I can get.”  She answered wryly.  The elevator door dinged and Emily pulled her key out of her pocket.  Both JJ and Tara exchanged glances, not used to seeing Emily underestimating herself as much as she has been recently.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure who has been telling you what, Emily, but you’re one beautiful pregnant lady.”  JJ said honestly.  “You’re all baby.”  She and Tara walked Emily to her door.  “And don’t tell me that you haven’t gotten to the pregnancy horny part.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stopping at her door, Emily blushed and shook her head, sliding the key card into the door.  JJ continued, leaning against the wall.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So Tara, pregnancy horny is like 10000 worse than regular horny.”  She said with a fond look on her face.  “Like it’s ridiculous.  We’d have sex for hours and it would be just one orgasm after another and then Will would fall asleep and I’d go to the bathroom and take a shower and finish things…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily glared at her friend and shut the door.  “Good night JJ.”  She muttered, with a shake of her head.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It makes me wish I was still pregnant!”  JJ called through the door.  Her laughter, along with Tara’s followed her and Emily ran her hands over her face.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go away, JJ!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their footsteps walked away softly and Emily shook her head.  JJ wasn’t wrong but that was besides the point.  She sent Derek a text, knowing full well that he was in San Francisco and was hours behind her timewise.  When he didn’t reply, Emily went and filled the bathtub with steaming water.  The bathtub wasn’t as wide as theirs at home, but it was long and deep and would do the job.  Stripping off her clothes, Emily lowered herself into the hot water, placing her phone on the closed toilet seat and a book close by.  She picked up the book and allowed herself to get lost in the story, reading a few chapters in the warm comfort of the bathtub.  She kept refilling the tub while allowing the cool water to drain.  Her toes were well wrinkled by the time she decided to get out of the tub.  Pulling the plug with her toes, Emily waited for the water to drain, she placed her hands on either side of the tub and pressed up.  Nothing.  Some water sloshed from where she was blocking the flow and she sat back.  Trying again, Emily wiggled and tried to get more leverage.  Nothing.  Of all the things she was stuck in the bathtub in their hotel.  She thought about the options she had and none of them were very good.  Finally, she sent a text to JJ.  Simple and direct. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Get Tara and get a room key from the front and come into my room.</b>
</p><p>
  <span>She waited a few moments until she got a text from the blonde.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>You okay?</b>
</p><p>
  <span>No.  Emily was not okay, not in the least, but she didn’t say that in the text.  </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Just come.</b>
</p><p>
  <span>The moments seemed to drag until she finally heard the door open.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Emily?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing heavily, Emily reached for a towel to cover herself.  “In the bathroom.”  She said loud enough for them to hear.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tara and JJ opened the door slowly, peeking in.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m stuck.”  Emily said, trying to avoid eye contact.  “I decided to take a bath and I can’t get enough leverage to get out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ and Tara exchanged a quick glance neither of them commenting, knowing full well that Emily was teetering on the edge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, Mama.”  Tara said gently.  “We’ve got you.”  She took off her shoes and socks and rolled up her pant legs and got in behind Emily.  She squatted and looped her arms under Emily’s armpits and with JJ’s help got their unit chief to her feet.  JJ grabbed Emily’s robe and once she was safely on terra firma, wrapped it around her.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily sat down on shaky legs on the closed toilet seat, her head in her hands.  Tara sat perched on the edge of the tub and JJ squatted down in front of their friend and took her hands.  “Emily, look at me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly, Emily raised her eyes and stared at JJ. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I get it, it sucks, but we don’t mind helping you out, okay?”  She squeezed her hands softly.  “Come on, you go and get dressed and Tara and I will go put on our PJs and we can all order in some super high calorie room service.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily stared at JJ and then up at Tara.  “But you two saw me naked in the tub.  I must look like a beached whale.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shrugging, JJ gave her friend’s hands a soft kiss.  “Honey, get used to it.  In a few months you’re going to have lots of people all up in your business and seeing a whole lot more of you than you’ve ever wanted.”  She stood up.  “And Emily, none of us are judging your body.  You’re growing two Morgan babies in there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you look beautiful doing it!”  Tara added, giving her friend a wide smile.  “Jayje and I will come back in about 20 minutes and we can watch whatever is on TV and order some junk.”  She said patting Emily’s leg and getting to her feet.  JJ followed suit quickly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily slowly got to her feet and dried herself and pulled on Derek’s Chicago PD tshirt and a clean pair of underwear and a pair of Derek’s sweats.  A few minutes later JJ walked in, followed by Tara.  True to their word, they ordered every calorie laden dish they could find on the menu and watched terrible television until Emily started to doze off.  There was more than enough space for the three of them on the king bed in Emily’s room.  JJ turned off the light and she and Tara finished off the food before settling in the bed.  When they emerged from Emily’s room early in the morning, Rossi gave them a smile before heading down for breakfast.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0052"><h2>52. Preparations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>As Emily's pregnancy progresses, Emily and Derek and the team rush to get everything finished.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry about the two week break, I'm teaching full time and taking post-grad classes and I have a side gig that keeps me pretty busy.<br/>I'll try to keep weekly updates, but they may fall to bi-weekly.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“If a thing loves, it is infinite.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>― </span>
  <b>William Blake</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their house was full.  The backyard was full of contractors and builders coming in and out, along with Rossi who was standing guard and the final go through for Fran’s apartment out back.  Derek, Matt, Luke, Reid, and to a lesser extent Mackenzie were in constant motion.  They had put together both dressers, as well as the glider and had started to paint the room.  That is when Mackenzie was unceremoniously kicked out.  She thundered down the stairs, landing with a thud and walked over to where JJ, Tara, Penelope, Kristy, and Emily were sitting.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m no longer welcome because they’re opening the paint.”  Mackenzie announced dramatically.  “And they only let me fold and put away clothes by the way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ shrugged and took a cracker and popped it in her mouth.  “You </span>
  <em>
    <span>are </span>
  </em>
  <span>pregnant, Mackenzie.  And with the exception of Spencer, you’re surrounded by alpha-males up there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie rolled her eyes and sat down on the ground.  “I mean, I guess they’re getting everything finished before the babies.”  She reasoned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded and ran her hand over her belly.  She was just coming on 25 weeks and was getting closer and closer to the safe zone for delivery.  She had started working more and more at home, more out of necessity than desire.  Her back was killing her, her hips were sore, and she was constantly exhausted.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You guys have names picked out?”  Tara asked looking up at Emily.  “Or are we going to be referring to these babies as Baby A and Baby B forever?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have names.”  Emily said wincing as she felt a sharp kick.  “And no you don’t get to know the names.”  She said rubbing a spot on her belly.  “But we have four girl and four boy names, just in case.  They all mean something to the two of us.”  She gave her friends a gentle smile but didn’t elaborate.  And the names did mean something to them.  All of the names were deeply meaningful but Emily wasn’t quite ready to share.  A loud knock at the door and then the storming of little feet across the hardwood and Noah came to a sliding stop in front of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I here.”  He announced proudly.  “I go help Dek.”  He shrugged off his jacket and started to head upstairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Henry, Michael, Jake, David, Chloe, and Lily are all downstairs.”  Kristy said as the little boy came to a stop.  He turned and bit his lip, the conflict obvious on his face.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Downstairs?  What dey doin’?”  He asked warily.  Taala walked in and placed a stack of pizzas on the table and gave them a smile.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think they’re playing superheroes.”  Kristy replied.  “Do we want to go check?”  She got to her feet and Noah sighed heavily.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I go see Dek, den I go.”  He replied bounding up the stairs.  A few minutes later he came down and nodded.  “Dek say I go play.  I help later.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie rolled her eyes.  “Go tell everyone to come up for lunch.”  She told Noah who did a little fist pump.  Getting to her feet, Mackenzie helped Taala set out the pizzas on plates for the kids along with small glasses of  milk and veggies and dip.  Taala turned to Emily with a soft smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I got you and Mackenzie your own pesto flatbreads with tomatoes and burrata and a salad.  And gingerale.”  She said with a smile.  “Just stay sitting, we’ll get it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Easily, the rest of the women were able to feed the kids and sent them back downstairs.  Taala made plates for Emily and Mackezie, placing a kiss on the latter’s hair.  She grabbed herself a slice of pizza before heading up the stairs.  The theme of the nursery had been set weeks earlier.  Derek and Emily had narrowed it down to two themes, one was a night sky theme, the other was a library.  Mackenzie was the artist between the two of them, and she and Fran had hand sketched characters from some of Derek and Emily’s favourite books on the biggest wall, where the others were covered in stacks of books, their spines facing out.  The men were standing on top of a pile of wooden slats that Taala assumed were going to become two cribs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Issues gentlemen?”  She asked, a smirk on her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luke looked up and shook his head.  “I uh...tossed out the instructions.”  He said with a sad shrug.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And Reid hadn’t had a chance to read them over yet.”  Derek finished rubbing his chin.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were always instructions available online, but Taala decided to let them sweat it out for a little while.  “How about you guys go and get some food.  I brought lots of pizza over.”  She said with a sweet smile.  “Give me a chance to get a good start on some of the painting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Matt nodded and pushed Luke out of the door with Reid and Derek close behind.  Taala shook her head and put on her headphones, starting to paint.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek grabbed three pieces of pizza and sat down on the arm of the chair that Emily was sitting on, giving her a wide smile, brushing his fingers through her hair.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So how’s it going up there?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shrugged and took a big bite of pizza.  “It’s going.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s code for they fucked up somewhere and they don’t know what to do next.”  Mackenzie replied as she stretched out, her feet in front of her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek reached down and tugged on her hair softly.  “We haven’t fucked up.  Yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Matt and Luke swallowed laughs, as Derek shot them a glare. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmmm hmm.”  Mackenzie grinned and took a swallow.  “Are any of us allowed to go up and check?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nope.”  Derek replied, taking another bite of his pizza.  “You lovely ladies stay here.”  His eyes flicked up as he heard the back door open and his mother’s voice float through the air.  “There’s pizza on the counter.”  He called to Fran and Rossi.  Fran just smiled and waved her hand.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You kids have the pizza, we’re going to go -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eat something that doesn’t taste like cardboard.”  Rossi finished, holding Fran’s jacket out for her.  He gave the group a polite nod and led Fran out of the house.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek grumbled under his breath, only calming when Emily kissed the palm of his hand.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re adults, Derek.  Let your mom have some fun.”  She smiled and cuddled up against his side, his hand on her belly.  They were getting so close to the magic number of weeks where their babies would be okay in the world.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Derek focused his attention back on his wife and the babies that were moving under her skin. His fingers followed them gently until he felt Emily’s hand encircle his wrist.  She smiled up at him, her smile bright.  Moving his hand with hers, she found the spot she was looking for and grinned up at him.  “Feel that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He frowned, the bumps under his fingers.  “Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s baby A’s spine.”  She whispered softly, watching as his fingers traced the bumps silently. Their friends exchanged silent glances as they watched.  A few moments later, Derek pulled his hand off of Emily’s belly and gave his friends a grin.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I still find that unnerving that you can actually begin to feel your offspring’s body parts.” Spencer said matter of factly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily and Derek exchanged looks that could only be described as evil and Derek jumped up and grabbed Spencer, placing his hand on Emily’s belly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Feel my children.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek this is weird.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“FEEL MY CHILDREN.”  Derek moved his hand until he felt what Emily described as an elbow.  “See, this is Baby B’s elbow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek, I’m basically groping your wife’s breast.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily waved and shook her head.  “It’s fine, at this point I’m used to people touching me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I’m not used to it!”  Spencer recoiled, but Derek held tight.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is Baby B, and here is Baby A’s spine!”  Derek said as he moved Spencer’s hand around.  The younger man just stared at the rest of the group, a defeated look on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a few more minutes of torturing Spencer, Derek let him go.  The younger man scrambled away and sat as far as he physically could away from Emlily, his eyes still trained on her stomach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ laughed and shook her head.  “He was creeped out with both Henry and Michael.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Still creeped out.”  Spencer added across the room.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek grinned and pressed a kiss to his wife’s temple.  “Amazing, not creepy.”  </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Part of the gift from Penelope was a maternity photo shoot.  Sure, both Emily and Derek wanted to remember this time since they knew deep down they were lucky to be able to start a family, but there was always that niggling little thought of self doubt in the back of her mind.  She was in her 40s and pregnant with twins, why would she want to take pictures of </span>
  <em>
    <span>that?</span>
  </em>
  <span>  She didn’t have as many stretch marks as she thought she might have, and even those blended in with her scars from earlier.  But she was still a middle aged woman pregnant with twins.  There was nothing sexy about that, despite what Derek told her.  The photographer was going to come to their home, make things a bit easier on Emily.  Fran had already left for some fancy brunch with Rossi, much to Derek’s dismay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The photographer is coming in about 20 minutes, you ready?”  Derek sat down beside his wife and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shrugged and brushed a lock of hair off her face.  “I dunno, you don’t think it’s stupd to do this?”  She asked quietly.  “At my age and my...</span>
  <em>
    <span>size</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek gave her a smile, pressing a few kisses on her bare shoulder.  “Nope.”  He replied, popping the P.  “I think you look like a beautiful woman pregnant with my twins.  Which, I might add, makes you even more beautiful.”  With a smile, he sat back and ran his hand over her stomach.  “Baby, you wear whatever you’re comfortable in, this will be a nice way to remember us starting a family.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Emily took his hand and kissed his palm.  “You’re right.”  She said softly.  “I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For what?” Derek grinned and leaned into her touch.  “Anyway, have you decided what you want to wear for the shoot?”  He asked, running his fingers over her bare belly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s the blue dress...and then the red one.  And like there’s the one tunic and leggings.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The red dress.”  Derek said quickly.  “You look so amazing in red.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her face lit up, a flush covering her cheeks.  “The red one it is.”  She whispered, her voice wavering slightly.  Somehow, Derek made her feel like the most beautiful woman on the planet even when she was beginning to resemble the size of a planet.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He grinned at her and got to his feet.  “I’ll let you change, but like...leave your hair down.  You don’t need makeup.  You’re beautiful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She rolled her eyes and got up off the bed.  “Go make sure the backyard is clean.”  She mumbled, a smile on her face belaying her feelings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek grinned and headed outside to make sure that the contractors had cleaned everything up.  They were going to use their yard as a backdrop so Emily would still feel comfortable.  He was in the midst of moving some lumber when the doorbell rang. The photographer had been highly recommended by Penelope, but he wasn’t expecting someone so...un-Penelope like.  The young woman pushed her glasses up her face and she gave Derek a dimpled smile.  “Hi, I’m Lily.”  She said with a grin.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek.”  He smiled and led her into the backyard.  “We figured outside was the best…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lily nodded and pulled out her cameras.  “Sounds great. I’ll get things set up if you want to grab your wife.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek nodded and took the stairs two by two to go find Emily.  She was wearing the red maternity dress, her hair down and a light layer of makeup on.  He couldn’t help but grin as his eyes traced up and down her body.  “You look gorgeous.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snorting, Emily slapped his chest lightly but took his arm as he led her down the stairs.  The photographer grinned and let her camera hang around her neck.  “Hi!”  She snapped her gum and started to adjust her camera.  “So Penny signed you guys up for the deluxe package, so...basically everything goes.”  She picked up her camera and started snapping pictures as Emily walked across the back lawn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel stupid.”  Emily mumbled, feeling Derek’s hands wrap around her waist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You look beautiful.  Just pretend there’s no one here, it’s just me and you.”  He whispered against her skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They walked, and danced and Emily did her best to ignore the photographer.  After a while, Derek helped Emily into the overstuffed patio furniture and gave the photographer a smile.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now how about some belly pictures?”  Lily suggested as she changed her lens.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily blushed and ran her hand over her face. “I...I dunno.  Isn’t that a bit...much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lily shrugged and blew a bubble with her gum.  “They usually end up pretty great.  Like we can do some from far away and then some close up shots with your hands over your belly..”  She trailed off and gave Derek a shrug.  “Uh...Imma go look at some of the shots.”  She said walking over to her bag.  Derek sat down beside Emily, his hand on her belly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s up Princess?”  He whispered feeling the telltale movements under her skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily sighed and shrugged.  “I feel awkward about showing my belly.  Showing the stretch marks...how fat it is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew that this was all new for Emily, not just the pregnancy but the whole looking different, being treated differently. “Except the stretch marks show how much your body is changing to keep our babies safe.  And you’re not fat.  You’re all baby.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded and gave him a small smile.  “Alright, I’ll go get changed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, he gave her a smile and helped her to her feet.  She returned wearing a pair of leggings and a loose tank top.  Lily bounced over and started to snap pictures.  Derek could feel Emily’s heart hammering as he wrapped his arms around her.  “It’s okay.”  He whispered softly, watching as her eyes closed.  “Lily, just wait a second.”  He said, stripping off his shirt.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily’s eyes shot up and narrowed, though a tiny smile played on her lips as she watched her husband’s flat stomach was pushed out.  His hand rested on his abdomen as he hammed it up for the camera.  Emily shook her head and rolled her eyes as he stood next to her.  All of her self doubts went out the window as she felt Derek’s arm around her shoulder.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few weeks later, she stared at the pictures, laughing softly as the one that they put on their beside was the one with their hands on each other's stomachs.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0053"><h2>53. Now</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Derek is away on a case and Emily has to head to the hospital.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“I'm oxygen and he's dying to breathe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>― Tahereh Mafi,</span>
  <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/15333458"> <span>Shatter Me</span></a>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Emily groaned as she pulled a sweater on and tried to flatten it out as best she could.  Derek was off in North Carolina on a case, and while she had cut back on her hours, JJ had called her in to do a consult.  Slipping on her shoes, she grabbed her bag and headed out.  For the past few hours her back had been bothering her, but she was almost 32 weeks pregnant.  Every part of her body was bothering her by this point.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sitting in her office, she tried to focus on the file in front of her, and tried to ignore the looks from Tara and JJ.  “I’d say that it’s a family annihilator.”  She said, wincing as her back tensed again.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tara looked at her watch and back at JJ.  The blonde got to her feet and walked over to Emily.  “Alright Mama, we need to head to the hospital.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Frowning, Emily shook her head.  “Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Em, you’re in labour.”  She said flanking on Emily’s side, Tara heading to the other side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am not.”  Emily winced and exhaled softly.  “I’m only at 31 weeks, and Derek isn’t here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shaking her head, JJ helped Emily to her feet.  “Better to be safe than sorry, we’ll go to the hospital and if it’s Braxton Hicks, then at least we know.”  She said, meeting Tara’s eyes over Emily’s head.  They both knew better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ grabbed Emily’s keys as Tara helped their friend into the SUV and carefully buckled her in.  The taller agent climbed into the back and gave JJ a smile.  “Let’s go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another painful cramp ran through Emily’s body and she groaned softly. JJ’s hand rested softly on her knee and she gave her a smile.  “You’re okay Mama.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily opened her mouth to say something when she felt pressure between her legs release and she felt a gush of warm liquid flood her feet.  “Holy shit balls.”  She mumbled looking at her best friend, a panicked look on her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Honey, you are 100% in labour.”  JJ said with a smile as she sped up slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “You have to call Derek.”  Emily’s voice held an uncharacteristic waver to it.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tara waved her hand.  “Matt is on his way to meet him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Emily pressed her hands to her belly.  “This can’t be happening.”  She whispered softly.  “I’m not ready.  I’m only at 31 weeks.  Derek isn’t here. I can’t be having the babies now.”  She bit her lower lip and exhaled loudly.  “And now my vehicle is full of amniotic fluid!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ made her way through traffic and pulled into the parking lot.  Dr. Montgomery and a nurse met them in the parking lot, the redhead with a gentle smile on her face.  “Let’s go have some babies, Emily.”  She said as they helped her down into the wheelchair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My bag.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tara came up behind them and nodded.  “Fran is on her way.  We’ve got it all under control, you just need to worry about bringing these babies into the world safely.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek?”  Emily’s voice caught in her throat and tears welled in the corners of her eyes.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s on his way, sweetheart.”  JJ said softly.  “Let’s go get you checked in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Derek stood in the middle of a crime scene in North Carolina when his phone rang.  “Morgan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek, Emily is in labour.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He froze, his phone tumbling to the ground.  This wasn’t happening.  Emily was only 31 weeks.  He was stuck in the godforsaken state of North Carolina at a crime scene.  His phone rang again and he picked it up, brushing off the dirt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Morgan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek, it’s Rossi.  Matt is on the way to meet you at Roanke Rapids.  It’s about half way from here.”  He said as one of the FBI SUV’s pulled up.  “One of your team members is going to drive you so you don’t kill yourself on the way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek climbed into the passenger side, his phone still in his hand.  “Emily?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s fine.  The girls are with her right now.”  Rossi said, his voice strong and calm.  “I’m going to pick up your mom and Emily’s bags and I’m going to head to the hospital.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leaning against the seat, Derek exhaled loudly.  “Can you tell Emily I’m coming?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She knows, Derek.  You just focus on getting here safely.”  Rossi said softly.  “I’ll keep you updated.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Rossi.”  Derek said, hanging up the phone.  Looking at Agent Vasquez, he nodded.  “Turn on the lights, Susan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The younger woman nodded and flicked the lights on the top of the SUV as they hit the main freeway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>About an hour later, they pulled into Roanke Rapids and Derek hopped out and rushed to the SUV where Matt was waiting.  The younger man gave his friend a grin.  “Let’s go.  Your wife is about to make you a Daddy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek ran his hands over his face and exhaled loudly.  “Let’s just go.”  He said as Matt flicked on the lights.</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Emily walked slowly around the birthing room, JJ on one side and Tara on the other side.  The contractions weren’t strong yet, but Dr. Montgomery wanted to keep here in the hospital to keep an eye on her.  Rossi and Fran walked in, the latter with a large duffle bag on her shoulder.  She put it down on the bed before walking over to her daughter in law.  “How are you doing, beautiful?”  She asked softly, giving Emily a gentle smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”  Emily whispered.  She </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>okay so far.  The pain was bearable, the contractions far apart and not overly strong.  The biggest thing she was fighting was the fear.  A contraction hit her and Emily slowed her gait, inhaling sharply.  Her eyes closed and she exhaled slowly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay?”  Rossi asked, rocking back on the balls of his feet.  He remembered being in the delivery room with Caroline, but that was 30 years ago and she was not a high risk pregnancy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Opening her eyes, Emily gave Rossi a small smile.  “Yeah.”  She said softly. “Not too bad yet.” She looked over at JJ and then at Fran and Rossi.  “Have you heard from Derek?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ pulled out her phone.  “Matt was on his way to get him, but I’ll call Penelope and ask her what she knows.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily sat down on the birthing ball and nodded.  She didn’t want to show her fear, but everyone in the room could see it in her eyes.  This wasn’t the way she was supposed to give birth.  She wasn’t supposed to be here alone, without her husband.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stepping away, JJ dialled Penelope’s number.  “Do you know where Matt and Derek are?”  JJ asked in a way of a greeting.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They aren’t there yet?”  Penelope growled and JJ could hear mad typing.  “I’ll call you back, tell Emily that they’re on their way.”  She quickly hung up and dialled Matt’s number, swearing under her breath.  When the phone picked up, Penelope didn’t care who was on the other end.  “WHERE ARE YOU TWO?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Matt looked at Derek who sighed heavily.  “On our way babygirl.  We’re about half an hour from the hospital.  We’ve hit a traffic jam…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t babygirl me, Derek Morgan.”  Penelope cut him off.  “Your wife is giving birth to your twins.  She’s scared and she needs her husband...and this is Emily we’re talking about.  She’s not scared of anything and she’s SCARED.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rubbing his temples, Derek took the phone off hands free and brought it to his ear.  “I know, we’re coming.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You better be, Derek Morgan.  Because I will help your wife raise your little babies if you don’t.  Now hurry the hell up.”  Closing the call, Penelope sighed and got to her feet.  She had a bag of gifts for the baby as well as some for Emily and the least she could do was go give some moral support.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek hung up and looked at Matt.  “Can we go any faster?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Matt did a quick shoulder check and flipped on the lights again and increased the pressure on the pedal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily rolled on the ball, trying to keep her breathing steady and her facial expressions neutral.  When JJ walked back into the room, she gave her a look and the blonde nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“On their way.  They should be here in about half an hour.”  She gave her friend a gentle smile.  Emily nodded and kept rolling on the ball, keeping her gaze downcast.  The four others in the room exchanged silent glances.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to get a coffee.”  Rossi announced.  “And wait for Matt and Derek downstairs.”  He silently left the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fran stood in front of Emily and took her hands and squeezed them gently.  “He’s going to get here.”  She said softly.  “You’re doing so amazing, Emily.  You’ve DONE so amazing keeping those babies safe.  Now you focus on bringing them into the world safely, not about my dumbass son arriving.  He’ll be here, I’ll make sure of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A small smile appeared on the younger woman’s face and she nodded.  Rolling back on the ball, Emily exhaled softly.  Fran pressed a soft kiss on the top of her head and nodded to Tara and JJ, following Rossi out of the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily had been prepared for the pain of childbirth and if she was being quite honest, it wasn’t unbearable yet.  But she hadn’t been prepared for the loneliness of it.  Another contraction rolled over her and she rocked on the ball.  Her friends were there, and she knew that they weren’t going to leave her, but she also knew that this was something that she had to do herself.  JJ’s hands rubbed her shoulder softly and she heard Tara counting slowly.  Breathing through the contraction, Emily opened her eyes once it was over and gave her friends a weak smile.  Tara looked at her phone then back at Emily.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to go down to the cafeteria and meet Garcia, okay?  We’ll bring up some crackers, broth, and some gatorade.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Emily slowly got to her feet and looked at JJ.  She slid on a pair of slippers and started to shuffle as best she could around the room.  They were in a birthing suite, and normally it would have had an option for a birthing pool, but with the high risk pregnancy and twins, the birthing pool wasn’t an option.  JJ’s arm looped around her waist as they walked around the room slowly.  Emily couldn’t help but think of how things had come full circle, because it was only a handful of years ago that she was walking JJ around her own hospital room with Henry.  The walk was slow, but JJ’s arm never moved, strong and steady.  They had made two laps when the door opened and Dr. Montgomery walked in.  She gave the two women a gentle smile.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So how are things going, Emily?” She looked around the room for Derek before looking back at the brunette.  “Derek?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“On his way.”  JJ said quickly as she helped Emily onto the bed.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The doctor nodded and gave Emily a smile.  “So how are things going, Emily?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My back hurts.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dr. Montgomery nodded and moved closer.  “It’s more than likely the way the babies are sitting.”  she said honestly.  “Let’s check how far you are along and then we can look at options.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Emily put her feet up and allowed the doctor to check her cervix.  She shifted uncomfortably before sitting up once the doctor removed her hand.  “You’re at about 2 centimeters dilated.”  Pulling the ultrasound machine over, the doctor gently slid her gown up and moved the wand around before nodding.  “And here is the cause of your back labour.”  She said with a smile.  “Baby B is face down for now and is pressing on your spine.”  She put the wand back and gave her a tight lipped smile.  “We can do an epidural…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shook her head and pulled herself up to a sitting position.  “No.  No drugs.  Derek and I talked about it,”  She said softly.  “Are there any positions that can help?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The doctor nodded and helped Emily to her feet.  “On your hands and knees will help to take some of the pressure off your spine.  You can use the ball as well.  Also, when Derek comes, you can get him to press on your back, or use the shower and the hand held to massage your back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright.”  Emily exhaled softly and looked at JJ.  “Can you check to see where Derek is?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blonde nodded and pressed a kiss on the top of Emily’s hair.  “Course.  You stick tight.” She whispered softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her breath shook as she exhaled slowly.  “Damn it Derek, </span>
  <em>
    <span>just show up.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”  She whispered, a tear rolled down her cheek as she lowered herself to the floor on her hands and knees.  “Just show UP.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0054"><h2>54. Best laid plans</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The birth of the babies don't go as planned.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please note that there will be discussion of infant death as well as mother death.  Also there will be mentions of blood.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“He is beauty, inside and out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He is the silver lining in a world of darkness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He is my light.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>― </span>
  <b>Marie Lu, </b>
  <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/18712554">
    <b>Prodigy</b>
  </a>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily gritted her teeth as the contraction washed over her.  The position change wasn’t helping, her back spasming each time.  She got to her feet and started to shuffle around the room, hoping that the movement would lessen, or at least shift the pain.  Tara and Penelope stood in the doorway and waited for Emily to turn before they walked in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’s it going, Mama?”  Tara asked, placing a bottle of juice and a bowl of broth on the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Remind me to murder my husband once he gets here.”  Emily mumbled as she moved to the bed.  Tara opened the juice, dropped a straw in it and passed it to her friend.  “Small slow sips.”  She ordered gently.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Emily took a tiny sip and looked over at Penelope.  “Any news from Derek?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blonde shook her head, and looked at her phone.  “I’ll go down and wait for him.”  She gave her friend a soft smile.  “You’re doing so well, Em.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily didn’t reply, but leaned back on the bed with an exhausted sigh, her hands rubbing her belly.  “He promised.”  She whispered softly, her eyes closing.  “When we tried to get pregnant, he promised that I would never be alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tara went to open her mouth when hurried heavied footsteps down the hall and into the room.  Derek ran in and rushed to his wife’s bedside.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry, there was a traffic jam and we had to take another route and…”  He pressed his hand against her cheek.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily exhaled softly and leaned into his touch.  “You’re here.’  She whispered, her voice heavy with unspoken pain and relief.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m here, Princess.”  He gave Tara and Penelope a smile and they took the hint and left the room.  “You’re so incredible.”  He whispered, helping Emily to her feet, looping her arms over his shoulders, his hands resting on her hips.  She allowed him to hold her weight as they swayed to unheard music, her face buried in his chest, his scent grounding her.  A contraction hit her, the tension making her breath hitch and instinctively, as though guided by an unseen force, he dragged his hands down to her back and held her ferociously close, massaging firmly.  She moaned softly, but didn’t pull away, and it felt like the right thing to do, so he kept at it until he felt the muscles beneath his hands relax.  Only then did he let her go.  Emily pulled away and Derek was happy to see, and slightly surprised to see, a smile crossing her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Derek.”  She whispered softly, relief written all over her face.  “I’ve been having back labour on top of regular labour and that’s the only thing that works for it.”  She said quietly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You pressing hard and rubbing like that.”  She said quietly.  “It wasn’t too bad at first but…”  Her face crumpled and Derek pulled her close and helped her to sit on the bed.  He’d be damned if Emily would cry another tear on his watch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shhhhhhhhhh…”  Derek cooed softly.  “That was before, I’m here now.  You are not alone.”  He gently pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail and pressed a kiss on her forehead.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding softly, Emily looked up at him with deep soulful trusting eyes.  “I’m going to need you to keep telling me that.”  She said softly.  “When the next contraction comes.  I need you to press on my back like it’s a brick wall and keep telling me that I’m not alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“You can do this.”  He said softly, climbing in the bed behind her, slotting her between her legs and wrapped his arms around her.  She sighed a deep sigh of contentment as she leaned against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can do this.”  Emily corrected softly.  “You got lots of work to do buddy, I’m only at 2 cm the last time they checked.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled and peppered kisses on her skin.  “Then let’s do it.  Let’s have these babies.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily leaned against him and closed her eyes.  “Let’s have these babies.”</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>The hours ticked by and Derek and Emily fell into a rhythm.  When the contraction would hit, she would lean as far forward as she could and Derek would ball his fists and would press them into her back.  Hard.  Harder than he thought he should.  Hard enough that he thought he was hurting her, but she assured him otherwise.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dr. Montgomery had been in and out of their room and Emily had progressed to 7 cm, though they were already on hour 20 of labour, but she assured them that things were moving well.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to go to the shower?”  Derek whispered as another contraction wracked her small body.  The team had been in and out, but they had mostly left them alone, minus JJ.  The blonde had stuck around and fluttered in and out of the room bringing broth and popsicles and solid food for Derek.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Emily slowly got to her feet and shuffled over to the washroom, infinitely glad that they had a private birthing suite with a huge shower.  Her gown was tossed aside and she climbed into the warm stream of water.  Derek stepped in his swim trunks and he wrapped his arms around her, the hot water pounding on her back.  They swayed as the water and his hands tried to loosen her tight muscles.  Her arms wrapped around his neck, burying her face in his chest as a groan spilled from her lips. They swayed until the contraction passed and he loosened his grip.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so amazing.”  He said softly, over the sound of the pounding water.  “I’m awed by you, Emily.  You are the most incredible person I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stayed in the shower through a few more contractions before he turned it off and gently dried her and got her back into the hospital gown.  Helping her into bed, Derek quickly went and changed before climbing in behind her.  JJ slipped back into the room and gave the two of them a soft smile.  She sat by Emily’s side and took her hand.  “You’re doing awesome.”  The blonde said softly.  “We are all so proud of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It could have been a few minutes or hours before Emily slumped back on Derek’s chest after the latest contraction.  “I can’t do it anymore, Derek.” She whispered.  “I’m so tired, I can’t do it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Derek whispered softly, using a cool washcloth to wipe her forehead.  “It’s almost over, and remember what they said in birthing classes?  When you feel like you can’t go on anymore?  It means it’s almost time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded and exhaled loudly, squeezing Derek’s hand and looking down at her best friend.  A few moments later, the doctor came in, and with a hint of giddiness in her voice, announced that it was time.  Derek watched his wife, with a strength that he didn’t quite know that she possessed suddenly take control.  The woman who claimed that she was exhausted and said she couldn’t go on, was replaced by a steady, calm, determined woman possessed by a power he’d only seen once before.  If she was in pain, neither he nor JJ knew.  He’d somewhat expected a room full of cheerleading nurses, but Emily was in charge.  Her body was in complete control.  All of her energy was devoted to guiding their babies safely into the world and she had no use for the swearing and hitting that he expected.  All he could do was hold her gently and marvel in awe at the miracle that he was witnessing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a few minutes, Dr. Montgomery looked up and gave them a gentle smile.  Normally she would tell the couple to reach down and feel the baby’s head, and to offer the father a chance to catch the baby and cut the cord, but they all knew that this was not a normal situation.  Even had there been just one baby, 31 weeks was still 9 weeks premature and the mother was high risk.  The risks were even greater with multiples.  “Alright Emily, you’re going to start pushing.”  She said with a smile.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek squeezed her hand gently.  He was going to be a father.  In a few moments he was going to be a father.  A few moments later, Emily’s cry split the air, a roar of triumph and quickly the red headed doctor scooped the tiny infant into her arms and quickly cut the cord.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek kissed Emiy’s head and looked down at JJ who was shooting panicked looks over her shoulder.  They should hear something by now.  Finally a gurgle and a weak wail.  JJ reached over and squeezed Emily’s hand, giving her a smile, tears pricking in the corners of her blue eyes.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a boy.”  The doctor called out, surrounded by nurses and other staff.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was amazing how someone could feel so alone in a room full of people.  A shudder ran through Emily’s body and JJ carefully pulled a blanket over her.  Her body tightened again, not at the same viciousness, though she knew that it was only a temporary reprieve.  Her head throbbed, cold sweat running down her body in rivers.  The sound of an alarm filled the room.  Derek looked to his left, seeing the monitor blaring. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dr. Montgomery was beside them in a flash and she looked at Emily, checking her vitals.  “Emily?  Your blood pressure is getting pretty high.  Let’s get this other baby out before it goes into distress.”  She looked at Derek, her lips in a thin hard line.  “Derek, you need to get out from behind Emily.” Her voice left no room for arguments.  “Emily, we need to adjust your position.  The baby is face down, which makes it a harder delivery.”  She explained.  “And a higher chance of the cord being pinched which will harm the baby.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily leaned forward as her husband slipped out from behind her and gripped her other hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The doctor did a quick check before nodding.  “Alright Emily, the next contraction I need you to push again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was exhausted and in pain.  Her whole body seemed to be on fire.  Nodding, Emily looked to her left and caught Derek’s gaze.  She could count on her hand the number of times his eyes had possessed that look. The next contraction hit and Emily, squeezing both Derek and JJ’s hands pushed.  For the second time that day she felt her body stretched to the limit and finally Baby B slid from her body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were again met by silence before the panicked words of the medical professionals filled the room.  It wasn’t supposed to be like this.  She was supposed to have their babies in her arms, not with the doctors.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Panic and desperation washed over Emily as she strained to listen for a cry.  She looked at Derek who gently leaned down and pressed a kiss on her forehead.  “You did so good, Princess.”  He whispered trying to hide the fear in his voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He got up and walked towards the doctors, where his babies were, when he heard an angry squawk and a wail. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have a baby girl.”  Dr. Montgomery called over the noise.  She looked at Emily and quickly rushed over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His wife was flushed, her normally pale skin red and sweaty.  He rushed back to Emily, his panicked gaze flicking between her and the blonde at her side.  The redheaded doctor sat between his wife’s legs, one hand firmly on her abdomen.  He wasn’t sure what happened, when it happened, but he gripped Emily’s hand until it went slack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He watched the blood pour from his wife’s body, the red warm coppery substance spilling onto his shoes, watching as his wife’s face turned from red to white to grey and finally to yellow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were pushed out of the room, standing in the hallway, their red footprints on the ugly grey tile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“SO?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek turned slowly, tears in his eyes.  The team stared at him and he stared back at JJ.  Taala shook her head softly and stepped forward.  Derek turned on his heel, his shoes sticking to the tiles as he ran down the hallway.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0055"><h2>55. Together</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Derek and the team deal with Emily's situation the best they can.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger warning: Mention of blood, giving blood, possible death.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Unless you love someone, nothing else makes sense.”</p><p>― <b>E.E Cummings</b></p><p>JJ stared at Derek as ran down the hallway and she slowly turned back to the team.  Only Taala seemed to understand what was going on.  Her dark eyes met JJ’s blue ones and she shook her head slowly. </p><p>“There…were complications.” JJ whispered.  “The babies were born but Emily…she…she started to bleed out.  There was so much blood.”</p><p>Taala stared up at the ceiling and shook her head, she had done enough in obstetrics that she knew what could go wrong and what the outcome could be. </p><p>They were met by silence by the group and finally Taala swallowed hard.  “You need new shoes, or at least you need to wash those.”  She told JJ.  “I’m going to grab you some clean shoes and some for Derek.”</p><p>Mackenzie hiked her son up higher on her hip and kissed his head softly.  “How do you know where he is?”</p><p>“We’ve met there before.”  Her wife called as she jogged down the hallway and returned a few moments later with two pairs of shoes, passing one to JJ.  The silence surrounded them.  Rossi had his arms wrapped around Fran, the woman’s face buried in the collar of his shirt.  Matt held his wife tightly, his lips pressed to her temple.  Penelope wept openly in Luke’s arms, while Spencer tried to calm her and Tara frowned, her features darkening significantly at the news.</p><p> </p><hr/><p>His shoes stuck as he ran down the hall, the coppery smell of blood sticking on him, the smell of his wife’s blood.  He ran until he found himself in front of the chapel, or the multi-faith prayer room as it was labelled.  He stared at it until he felt a soft gentle hand on his shoulder.  Turning, he saw Taala standing behind him with a pair of shoes in her hand and a bag in the other.  Her eyes flicked towards his feet and he silently toed them off and accepted the other shoes. She bagged the others and gently squeezed his shoulder as the rest of the team silently walked in behind them.</p><p>Rossi opened the door to the chapel and the team filed in, along with his mom, Taala, Mackenzie, and Noah.  They were an odd mix.  Rossi and Luke the staunch Catholics.  Tara who grew up in the Baptist church.  Matt, the Lutheran from Michigan.  JJ who grew up Anglican, but even in her own words was far lapsed.  Spencer, who believed in the Universe but no deity.  Penelope, who claimed to be spiritual, not religious.  His mother, a Catholic by birth, but ever since his father’s death had moved further and further away from the church.  And then Taala and Mackenzie, one adjusting her hijab and the other pulling her hair up and covering it with her hood.  Everyone sat in pews, minus Mackenzie, Taala, and Noah who all grabbed mats from the far corner and laid them out together, with Noah’s slightly ahead of his mothers’.</p><p>Derek sat down in the pew and rested his elbows on his knees.  “I…I don’t know what to do.”  He whispered, the pain heavy in his voice as tears ran down his cheeks.</p><p>“Let us.”  Fran replied, taking his hand.  “You’ve been so strong, Derek.  So strong.”  Reaching over, Fran took Rossi’s hand and nodded.  The older man closed his eyes and started to pray, the rest of the team following suit. </p><p>They sat in silence, only the soft shuffling of clothes as Taala, Mackenzie, and Noah prayed. Then a little voice popped up as Noah sat back on his heels, his eyes closed.  <em> Allahuma rabbi-nas adhhabal ba'sa, ashfi wa entashafi, la shifa' illa shifa'uka shifa' la yughadiru saqama. </em></p><p>  No one, besides his mothers understood what he was saying, but they all could feel the desperation he said it with.  He looked at his moms and raised his hands, palms up.  “I gonna pray ‘gain.”  He said seriously.  “I wanna make sure that Allah, he hears me good.”</p><p>Derek swallowed a sob as he watched the little boy get to his feet and pray.  When he stopped, he looked over at Derek and gave him a toothy smile.  “I fink Allah heard me good, Dek.”</p><p>Mackenzie wrapped her son in her arms and pressed a kiss to his head.  “I think he did too, Noah.”</p><p>They walked out of the chapel, Fran with her arms around her son, and Rossi with an arm draped over her shoulders.  Derek stayed silent as they walked towards the delivery room.  The blood had dried by now, but his footprints were still visible.  Shrugging off his mother’s embrace, Derek leaned against the wall while everyone else found a place to sit or stand. </p><p>Taala had finished a 16-hour shift, she had been at the hospital for about as long as Derek and Emily had, with four major trauma cases coming in back to back to back to back. The door opened and Addison gave them a tight-lipped look before nodding at Taala.  She passed her son off and walked over to the redhead and they spoke in hushed tones before Addison turned back to the group.</p><p>“The babies are stable and up in the NICU.  Baby A, the boy, is 4 pounds, 3 ounces.  Baby B, the girl, is 2 pounds, 10 ounces.”  She ran her hand over her face before looking over at Derek.  “Derek, can we talk?  Privately?”</p><p>The colour in his face drained and he glanced at his mother before walking over with the doctor.  His heart was racing, his palms sweating as he looked at the redhead, panic written all over his face.</p><p>“Emily is stable.”  She said quietly.  “She lost a lot of blood and if I’m being honest with you, we have a blood shortage due to the major traumas we had in the hospital.  She would be better off if we could give her more, but we’ll keep a close eye on her.  We have her up in the ICU right now.”</p><p>Running a hand over his face, Derek exhaled loudly, shifting his weight from foot to foot.  “But she’s…okay?”</p><p>“She’s stable.”  Addison repeated.  “Things can go either way, but right now she’s stable and I hope that she’s a fighter, because she’s going to need to be.  It would be better with more blood, but right now we’ll do what we can.”</p><p>For the first time in two days Derek gave a gentle smile.  “If there’s one thing that Emily is, she’s a fighter.”  He said honestly.  Returning to the team he started to explain the situation when everyone stopped glancing over at Taala and Mackenzie who were having an argument, in what Derek assumed was Arabic. </p><p>Sighing, Taala looked at Mackenzie who walked over to the doctor and motioned for Taala and Derek to come.  Taala passed Noah to Fran before walking over with Derek.</p><p>“I’m O negative, so is Emily.”  Mackenzie said quickly.  “I have antibodies due to the pregnancy that Emily has – I can donate blood.”</p><p>Both Taala and Addison shook their heads.  “It’s against regulations, the blood needs to be tested first – “</p><p>“I’m clean.  I’m active military, I get tested once a month.”  Mackenzie said quickly, looking between the three other people.  “I can show you my latest test.  I’m clean.”</p><p>Derek bit down on his lower lip and then at the two doctors.  “Please?  Can we try?”</p><p>Addison nodded and looked over her shoulder.  “Alright.”  She said quickly, pulling Mackenzie into one of the treatment rooms.  Mackenzie glanced over her shoulder and met Derek’s gaze and he silently mouthed <em> thank you </em> as the younger woman was pulled into a room with the door closed.</p><p>Walking back to his mom, Derek shoved his hands deep in his pockets.  “I’m going to go sit with Emily.”  He said quietly, heading for the elevator.</p><p>“What about the babies?”  Penelope asked quietly.</p><p>Derek shrugged and pressed the button to the elevator.  “I need Emily.  She’s the other half of my soul.”  He replied simply.</p><p>Disappearing into the elevator, he let the door close and he leaned against the wall.  He needed Emily to be okay, there was no way he could do this without her.  No way that he could go on without her.  No way that he could be a parent to two babies without her.  No way that he could survive without her.  Once the elevator dinged, Derek walked out and found Emily’s room.  She was pale and hooked up to machines.  His chest tightened and Derek pulled the chair up next to her, interlacing their fingers.  Pressing their hands to his forehead, Derek closed his eyes.</p><p>“Please Emily, get better.”  He whispered, tears running down his cheeks.  “I need you to get better, Emily.  I love you.  I need you.”</p><p>The team watched as Derek disappeared and Fran leaned against Rossi, exhaling loudly.  “We should go see the babies.”  She said quietly.  “They can’t be all alone.”</p><p>Penelope nodded in agreement.  “They won’t be alone.  We can go in shifts and see them, and then someone can go see Derek and Emily.”</p><p>“We’re going to have to take care of him as much as we take care of the babies or Emily.” Rossi said honestly.  “Penelope, you’re the queen of schedules, why don’t you make us one?”  He suggested softly.  “Fran and I will go see them now and we can have the schedule start tomorrow.”</p><p>Nodding, the team split off with Fran and Rossi going to the NICU with the rest going home.  Rossi gave Fran a weak smile.  “They’ll be okay, you know.”  He said wrapping his arm around her waist.  “Emily is a fighter and so is Derek.  You know those babies are both gonna be fighters.” </p><p>Fran sighed and leaned against him.  “Yeah.”  She whispered, unsure whatever words she could say.  Rossi was right that her son and daughter-in-law were fighters, but it didn’t make the situation any easier.</p><p>Walking out onto the NICU floor, Rossi and Fran entered the nursery and stared down at the incubator that held the two infants. </p><p>“They’re so tiny.” Fran whispered, tears in her voice.</p><p>Rossi just stared at them, the memories of his own son washing over him.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Mackenzie sipped the juice box as Addison pressed the cotton ball to the inside of her arm. </p><p>“How’re you feeling?”  Taala asked, adjusting Noah who was sleeping soundly on her shoulder.</p><p>The younger woman shrugged and finished the juice.  “Okay.  A bit shaky.”  She admitted.  “And cold.”</p><p>“We took more than we usually do,” Addison said gently.  “So take it easy.”</p><p>Mackenzie nodded and pulled on her hoodie. “Got it.”  She tucked her hands in the front pocket and gave her wife a gentle smile.  “Why don’t we go see how Derek is doing and then we go home?”</p><p>Derek was at Emily’s bedside, his hands still intertwined with hers.  He watched as Addison hung the bag of blood, glancing at Taala and Mackenzie as they entered the room. </p><p>“Thank you, Mackenzie.”  He whispered softly as he watched the blood start to drip.  “Dr. Montgomery said that it makes her chances much better.”</p><p>Mackenzie wrapped her arms around Derek, resting her head on his shoulder.  “Anything for you guys.”  She said honestly.  “Derek, remember that Emily is a fighter.  You guys fought so fucking hard to get here, and she’s going to keep fighting and so will your babies.”</p><p>He didn’t move and Mackenzie moved and sat beside him.  “Do you guys have names picked out?”</p><p>“We do.”  He whispered softly.  “We’re going to tell everyone together.”</p><p>Mackenzie and Taala exchanged silent glances before the older of the two women walked over and squeezed his shoulder.  “We’ll bring you some food and a change of clothes for tomorrow.”  She whispered softly.  “Don’t give up faith.”</p><p>“I prayed hard.”  Noah whispered sleepily.  “I know Emmy gonna be okay.”</p><p>Derek’s breath hitched as Mackenzie and Taala got up to leave. </p><p>“Emmy gonna be okay.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p>The nurses rolled a cot into Emily’s room, though Derek didn’t sleep.  He watched as one bag, then two, of blood dripped into his wife and listened to the beeping of the machine.  The beeping reassured him that Emily was still alive, the reassurance that he didn’t have after Doyle.  The nurses kept coming in throughout the night to find him sitting motionless at her bedside.  Sometime, either very early or very late, he fell asleep, his face on the mattress she laid on.  The beeping continued, a hard and steady cadence, to remind him that they were both alive.</p><p>Taala left his clothes on the unslept cot with a bottle of water, an apple, and a few granola bars.  He slept on; his hand still intertwined with Emily’s. </p><p>When he finally awoke, she had more colour in her cheeks, but besides that nothing had changed. </p><p>“You gonna go see your babies?”  A nurse asked as she took Emily’s vitals.</p><p>He shrugged, watching as she wrote the numbers down carefully.  “My wife.  She needs me.”  He replied softly, his hand returning to hers.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Tara and Matt sat in the NICU, staring at the incubator that housed Baby Boy Morgan and Baby Girl Morgan. </p><p>“They’re so tiny.”  Tara whispered, watching as the babies’ chests rose and fell rapidly.  They were attached to so many tubes and wires, it was hard to see their little bodies.</p><p>“You can talk to them.  They respond better when they’re spoken to and they’ll bond better with Mommy and Daddy…”  The older nurse, short with hair streaked with grey, gave them a smile. </p><p>Tara exchanged glances with Matt, who just gave a good-natured shrug.  “We aren’t their parents.”  She said gently.  “We’re just…part of the family.  The mom is in the ICU and her husband hasn’t left her bedside.  We figured that the babies needed people in their corners too.”  She said with a small shrug. </p><p>The nurse smiled and adjusted a wire before staring into the incubator.  “They’re lucky their girl is the tiny one.”  She said sagely.  “And that she’s black.  Little black girls, they’re resilient.  They’re tough.  You can drop them on the ground and they’ll pop back up, it’s the little white boys you have to worry about.”  She walked over to the other side of the incubator and reached in and gently brushed her finger over Baby Boy Morgan’s tiny hand.  “You look at a little white boy wrong they’ll up and die on you, but these babies, I can tell they’re strong.”</p><p>Matt bit back a laugh and straightened up.  “They are tough, Ma’am.  Their mom and dad are the toughest people I know.”  He unfolded himself from the chair and got to his feet, extending his hand to Tara.  She gave him a smile and allowed herself to be pulled to a standing position.  “My twins were never this small.”  He mused softly.</p><p>“Most babies aren’t.”  The nurse said with a tiny smirk.  “Even multiples.”  She pulled her hand out and nodded towards the incubator.  “Go sanitize your hands and you can touch them.  Hopefully Mommy and Daddy can come and these two are stable enough to be held.” </p><p>Her skin was like tissue, it was so soft.  Tara ran her finger over her tiny little fingers, and her tiny little hand, just watching the infant carefully.  “We’re all rooting for you guys.  Your mommy and daddy tried so hard to have you guys and they love you so much.”  She whispered.  “So you guys just get better.”</p><p>Pulling her hand out, Tara quickly left the NICU and walked down the hallway to an alcove that overlooked the parking lot.  She felt Matt’s hand on her shoulder, and he squeezed it gently.  “I know.”</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0056"><h2>56. My babies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Derek tries to keep it together for Emily, and the babies.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here it is!  You all get to meet their babies!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“If I were to live a thousand years, I would belong to you for all of them. If we were to live a thousand lives, I would want to make you mine in each one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>― </span>
  <b>Michelle Hodkin, </b>
  <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/18107180">
    <b>The Evolution of Mara Dyer</b>
  </a>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It had been three days since he first came into the hospital.  It had been two days since he had last seen his wife’s beautiful brown eyes, or heard her voice.  Instead, he spent those two days attached to his wife’s bedside, just listening to the machines beeping, praying to a God he wasn’t even sure he believed in to keep her alive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first time he felt it, he thought it was a twitch.  The smallest movement of her hand and fingers.  The second time he called for a nurse and stood back, his fingers still touching hers.  Her long eyelashes fluttered slowly and a moan rose from her chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mrs. Morgan.  You’re in the hospital, in the ICU.”  The nurse said loudly, checking on her vitals.  “Mrs. Morgan, open your eyes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eyelashes fluttered again and slowly one eye opened and then a second.  Her eyes were glassy with pain and medication, her hand shakily moving to her abdomen.  “Babies?”  She croaked from dry lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re okay.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door opened and Addison walked through and started to check Emily’s vitals.  “Emily, after the delivery you had a major hemorrhage and lost a lot of blood.  The placenta tore from your uterus causing the bleeding.  We were able to get it stopped and gave you multiple pints of blood and some drugs to trigger your uterus to contract to stop the bleeding.  How are you feeling?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tongue poked out to moisten cracked lips and she blinked heavily before trying to focus on the doctor.  “Sore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll increase your pain meds if you need them.”  Addison lifted up the bedsheets and did a check of Emily’s uterus before sitting down beside her.  “The bleeding has slowed which is a good sign.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek moved to Emily’s other side and interlaced their hands.  “So that means?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That we’re moving in the right direction.”  Addison clarified with a smile.  “We’re going to keep Emily on antibiotics and blood if needed, along with fluids and we have her on TPN until she can tolerate food by mouth.”  She gave her a smile.  “I went and visited your babies, you have a little girl and a little boy, Emily.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily swallowed hard until Derek passed her a spoonful of ice chips and she sucked on them slowly.  Finally, she swallowed again and looked up.  “They’re okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re small, Emily.  Baby boy Morgan is 4 pounds 3 ounces, and baby girl Morgan is 2 pounds 10 ounces.  They’re in the NICU on ventilators, but we’re keeping a close watch.”  Addison gave her hand a squeeze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slumping back against the bed, Emily nodded weakly.  Even just being awake drained her energy and she exhaled softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re going to be tired for the next little while Emily, but I’ll come by and check on you in a few hours, so just relax and try to rest.”  The redhead gave her hand a soft squeeze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I see them?”  Emily asked softly, though her eyes were partially closed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When you’re feeling better you can see them.”  The doctor reassured the new mother.  “Right now we have to get you healthy enough and then you can see your little bundles of joy, but…I do know on good authority that Taala and Mackenzie and basically everyone else on your team have taken many pictures so I’m sure they’d love to share it with you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily’s lips quirked into a small smile as the doctor left the room.  Derek exhaled loudly and pulled himself as close as possible to his wife.  “I’m…I…”  Tears welled up his eyes.  “You’re alive.”  He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss on her forehead.  Emily’s nose wrinkled and she moved her head to the side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shower.”  She mumbled.  “You smell.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soft laughter from the doorway filled the room and Fran and Rossi walked in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s right, son.  Go shower and shave.  You look like hell.”  Fran said sitting on the other side of Emily.  “And quite frankly smell like it too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek got to his feet, though kept his hand in Emily’s. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s not going anywhere, Derek.  Once you’re finished showering and when Emily is more alert, we can show you baby pictures.”  Fran said gently.  “Now go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Derek gathered his clothes and toiletries and headed to the attached washroom.  It was nice to shower, he had to admit.  And shave.  And brush his teeth.  And put on deodorant.  Okay, he had been smelly.  Emerging he sat back down at Emily’s bedside and took her hand.  He looked up at Rossi and his mother, who had pulled up chairs on the other side of Emily’s bed.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She fell asleep as soon as you left.”  Fran said softly.  “Right now sleep is the best thing for her, it’s when the body does the most healing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew that, but he still wanted Emily to be awake, to be able to talk to her, to see her beautiful face.  “I know.”  He said softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your babies are beautiful.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking up, Derek ran his hand over his face.  “Ma, don’t.  Please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I get it, Derek, but your babies need you too.  They need to bond with you, they need their daddy.”  Fran took Rossi’s hand and leaned against his shoulder.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need to be with Emily.  I don’t know how to be a dad without her.”  He admitted, running his thumb softly over the back of her hand.  “I can’t see them until I know that everything is going to be okay here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Fran shook her head.  “You heard the doctor.  Emily is looking up, the babies are at more of a risk than she is at this moment in time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not until Emily is healthy enough, Ma.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was still so pale, so quiet, so motionless.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t sure when Rossi and his mother left, he stayed glued to Emily’s bedside.  It wasn’t until he felt her hand move again did he look up.  There was more colour in her cheeks and she sat up gingerly on her own.  Her hands brushed over her abdomen and she swallowed a soft sob.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey hey hey…”  Derek hummed softly, crawling onto the bed beside Emily, pulling her onto his lap as best he could.  “They’re okay, Em.  You did such a good job bringing them into the world.  We have two gorgeous babies…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me what they look like.”  Emily whispered.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek tightened his grip and shook his head.  “I...I haven’t gone to see them yet.  I couldn’t.  I can’t be a dad without you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily’s body shuddered as sobs washed over her.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A soft knock at the door and JJ slipped in, phone in hand.  “Am I interrupting?”  She asked, coming to a stop by the door.  “I...I just heard that Emily was awake so I brought some pictures and videos of the babies…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily’s cries stopped and she looked up at JJ.  “I want to see my babies.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek gave JJ a smile as the younger woman sat on the other side of Emily.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re both still so small, but they’re fighters.  And look at their curly hair.”  JJ flipped through the pictures.  “This little one, she’s going to be a handful.”  She commented as she moved from picture to picture.  “And he’s just so chill.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They can’t breathe on their own?”  Emily whispered, tears still in her voice and eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I spoke with Dr. Montgomery and she explained everything to me.”  JJ snuggled up closer to Emily.  “They’re both on ventilators because their lungs are underdeveloped.”  She explained.  “But their oxygen levels will be lowered until they can be off them completely.  That tube on their face?  That’s their feeding tube.  It will probably take them 6 to 8 weeks before they can breastfeed, but they still need your breast milk, Mama.  They’ll put it directly in their feeding tubes.”  JJ passed the phone to Emily who ran her fingers gently over the screen.  “They’re incredible Emily.  Hopefully tomorrow you’ll get the green light to go see them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily stared at the screen and flipped through them, her face calming.  “My babies.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your babies.”  JJ repeated, giving Derek a grin over Emily’s head.  “Do they have names or are they forever going to be called ‘Baby boy Morgan’ and ‘Baby girl Morgan’?  Which, by the way, we all find eternally entertaining having a baby girl Morgan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Thank you</span>
  </em>
  <span> Derek mouthed as he looked through the pictures with Emily.  “They are beautiful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily yawned and returned JJ’s phone, leaning back heavily against the bed.  “Derek, could you get Dr. Montgomery?  I want to see if I can tolerate some food so I can go see them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek arched his eyebrows and looked at his wife. “Are you sure?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He got to his feet and Emily exhaled loudly, leaning against JJ.  “They’re really okay?  My babies?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Em, they’re tiny.  The boy is around 4 pounds and the girl is under 3.  But they’re fighters, they have to be, you’re their mom.”  JJ answered, pulling the blanket tighter over them.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily smiled gently and closed her eyes.  “Tomorrow I’m gonna see them.”  She whispered sleepily.  “Tomorrow I’m gonna hold my babies.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ smiled and ran her fingers through Emily’s hair.  “You just worry about getting better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly Emily’s eyes opened again and she looked at JJ.  “We’re naming our daughter, Jennifer.”  She said softly.  “After you.  We wanted our babies to have strong names after important people.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blonde blinked a few times and looked at Emily.  “Sorry, what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Our daughter is named Jennifer.”  Emily said softly.  Her eyes closed and JJ watched as her best friend dozed again leaving her with the news that Emily Prentiss and Derek Morgan named their daughter after her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek slid back into the room carrying a smoothie and some crackers.  “She’s sleeping again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ nodded.  “Best thing for her to do right now is sleep.”  She said softly.  “Emily told me about the name you picked out for your daughter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jennifer.”  Derek confirmed.  “If you’re okay with it, that is.”  He placed the smoothie by Emily’s bedside and brushed her hair off her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I am.  I’m honoured that you two, Derek and Emily, chose to name your baby after me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And Penelope and Tara.”  Derek added with a smirk.  “Jennifer Penelope Tara Morgan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ grinned and leaned against her sleeping friend.  “And for the boy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“David Hank Spencer Morgan.”  He shrugged and leaned back in the chair.  “Those are the names of our babies.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0057"><h2>57. First meeting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Emily and Derek finally go meet their babies</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry about the delay.  Real life is kicking my ass</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“When in a relationship, a real man doesn't make his woman jealous of others, he makes others jealous of his woman.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>― </span>
  <b>Steve Maraboli,</b>
  <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/25086973">
    <b> Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the </b>
  </a>
  <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/25086973">
    <b>Human Experience</b>
  </a>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“This reminds me of the case with Sharader.”  Derek said softly as he pushed Emily in the wheelchair.   She got the all clear to go to the NICU as long as she stayed sitting in the wheelchair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “Where you got to push me around.”  Emily replied with a soft smirk, reaching up and laying her hand over his.  While she hadn’t been able to shower yet but she had been able to change into the warm pyjamas that Fran had purchased for her.  They were a forest green with snaps down the front.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They pulled up to the NICU doors and Derek opened them and helped Emily sanitize before pushing her inside.  Approaching the incubator, Emily looked up and gave Derek a watery smile.  The nurse gave them a gentle smile and walked over to them.  “You must be these little guys’ Mommy and Daddy.”  She commented softly.  “Your friends and family have been here to keep them company, but I know they’re ready to hang out with Mommy and Daddy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded, sniffling softly.  “We have great friends and family.”  She whispered softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The nurse gave them a gentle smile.   “I’m Connie, your babies’ nurse.  There are four of us that are assigned to your twins, that way we know what’s going on and there’s no confusion.”  She walked over to the incubator before nodding at the parents.  “Do they have names?  We’ve been calling them Bubbs and Squirt.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek smiled and stood nervously behind Emily’s wheelchair.  “David Hank Spencer Morgan and Jennifer Penelope Tara Morgan.”  He said softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Much better than Bubbs and Squirt.”  Connie laughed.  “Okay Daddy, why don’t you sit down beside Mommy and you two can hold them.  I’m so happy to see that you have a shirt that has buttons, Mom.”  Connie said as she opened up the incubator.  “We do kangaroo care here, it’s skin on skin.  It helps the babies bond with the parents “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek dropped in a char beside Emily and gave her a smile.  Leaning over, he whispered something in Emily’s ear that made her blush a deep red.  Connie noticed it and laughed softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t get out of this either, Daddy.  Shirt comes off.  We have blankets to cover yourself.”  She said as Derek stammered and ran his hand over his face before taking off his shirt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reaching into the incubator, Connie gently pulled out one of the babies wearing a diaper that was too big with wires and tubes connected.  “This is baby David.”  She whispered softly, carefully placing him on Derek’s chest.  She grabbed a blanket and placed it over Derek and David.  She went back to the incubator and gently lifted up the smaller twin and brought her over to Emily.  Carefully she arranged her to sit right above Emily’s heart.  “This is Jennifer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The infant snuggled against Emily’s bare chest and the nurse gently wrapped a blanket over the two of them.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s so small.”  Emily whispered, holding the little girl with one hand under her bottom and her other hand covered the rest of her body.  She could feel the little girl’s chest rise and fall rapidly with the help of the breathing tube and a tear rolled down her cheek.  First one, then another, and soon Emily’s body was wracked with silent sobs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek looked up from the gaze he had on his son, concern painting his features.  “Em…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m okay.”  She finally whispered.  “They’re just so...tiny.  And sick.  I did my best Derek, I really did.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Connie knelt in front of Emily and placed a hand on her knee.  “Hey hey.  Emily, look at me.”  She said gently.  “I need you to take deep breaths and calm down.”  She reached up and softly wiped the tears from Emily’s cheeks.  “You did an amazing job, they just ran out of room in there.”  Getting to her feet, Connie gave them a small smile.  “We’re going to do our best to work together to make sure that your babies are healthy.  While they’re in here, they’re our babies too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The infant on Emily’s chest alarm started to beep and Connie placed a gentle hand on the baby’s back and one on Emily’s shoulder.  “She can feel that you’re upset, Mommy.”  She whispered  “You need to calm down and she’ll calm down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her breath started to slow and the alarm stopped blaring.  Emily glanced at Derek who gave her a smile.  They spent their time silently holding their son and daughter until Addison walked in, a blonde woman in tow.  Emily met her husband’s gaze, seeing the looks on the two doctor’s faces.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Derek, Emily.”  Addison nodded to Connie who carefully moved the babies back into the incubator and gave Derek some time to put his shirt on before helping Emily with hers.  “We’re going to run some tests on Jennifer and David.”  She said seriously.  “I’m more concerned about Jennifer than I am for David.  We have her oxygen still at 100% and she struggles when it’s anything below.  I feel like there’s something beyond just being a preemie.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek stood behind Emily’s wheelchair and pressed a reassuring kiss on her head.  His lips lingered as she whispered words of reassurance before looking back up.  “What are we looking at?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure,”  Addison said honestly.  “It could be a myriad of things so we’re going to run tests, do x-rays and we have the best pediatric surgeon here if it comes to that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could sense the change in Emily and he nodded before placing a gentle hand on his wife’s shoulders.  “Keep us in the loop.”  He said as he started to push Emily back to her room.  She was unusually quiet, and he caught her reflection in the elevator, picking aggressively at her nails. Once they made it back to her room, Derek gently helped her back into the bed.  The silence washed over them as Derek sat on the edge of the bed.  “It’s not your fault, Emily.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It feels like my fault.”  She whispered, tearing at her thumbnail.  “If I wasn’t so old, if my body wasn’t so broken...if…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Placing his hand on hers, Derek slid into bed with her and wrapped his arms around her carefully.  “Emily this isn’t helping anything.  Maybe if we got together back when you first came on the team.  Maybe if I wasn’t so fucking proud…”  He pressed his lips to her temple.  “You are already an amazing mother.  Right now we can’t focus on what could have been or should have been, but we need to focus on what we can do.”  He gave her a smile and held her close.  His wife’s tears soaked his shirt as he held her until she finally looked up at him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you help me shower?”  She needed to feel clean, let the scent of the hospital and the nightmare of what had just happened wash down the drain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.”  Carefully he helped her to her feet and supported her as they walked to the washroom.  Thankfully the shower was large and had a shower chair, just in case.  Taala had dropped off some personal toiletries to make things feel at home.  Carefully he undressed his wife, his eyes full of nothing but love and awe.  Turning on the water, he let it heat up before he stripped off his own clothes and stepped into the spray, carefully reaching out for Emily.  Her movements were slow, and she kept her eyes downcast as she entered the space.  Carefully he soaped up the cloth and ran it over her body.  Sure, her body had changed again but if it was possible he loved her more than ever before.  He ignored the pink tinged water that washed down the inside of her legs as he started to shampoo her hair.  There really was nothing sexual about what they were doing, but there was still the most intimate type of closeness that they could have.  Once her hair was washed, he finished washing her body carefully and turned off the water and wrapped her in the rough hospital towel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you need help getting dressed?”  He asked, quickly drying himself and tossing on his boxers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shook her head.  “No, you don’t want to see me put on a diaper.”  She said, making a face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek gave her a caring smile and pressed a kiss on her forehead.  “I’ll wait outside, let me know if you need help.”  He shrugged on his jeans before stepping out into the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can see why Emily is attracted to you.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spinning around, Derek glared at Mackenzie who was leaning against the doorframe.  “She’s just getting dressed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm hmm.  Put on a shirt.”  She replied carefully placing a few bags on the bed.  “Taala and Noah are on their way up.  Taala was trying to convince Noah that Emily is actually okay.”  She shrugged and ran her hand over her small baby belly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few moments later, Emily emerged from the washroom and gave Mackenzie a tired smile.  Slowly, painfully she made her way to the bed and pulled herself in.  Mackenzie walked over and sat on the side and gave her a smile.  “Turn and I’ll braid your hair.  That way it’s out of your face.”  She said grabbing the comb and pulling a hair elastic off her wrist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily obeyed and let the younger woman braid her hair tightly and gave her a thankful smile.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re gonna have to learn how to do this, Derek.”  Mackenzie commented.  “When Emily is away at work, you’re gonna need to do some braiding.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shrugging, Derek dropped into the chair and put his feet up on the edge of the bed.  “That’s what I have you for, Ken.  Or clippers.  I’ll just buzz both of them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You will NOT!”  Emily replied quickly.  “Over my dead body.”  The look on Derek’s face made her pause.  “Sorry.  Too soon?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shrugged sadly and watched as Noah peeked his head around the door.  He carried a large present but moved slowly as if walking through a funeral procession.  Taala stood in the doorway and shrugged as Noah finally approached the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay, Emmy?”  He whispered, placing the present on Derek’s lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded and smiled as Mackenzie placed the boy on the bed.  “I’m okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded and curled his knees up to his chest.  “I prayed.”  He whispered.  “That you be okay.  But I no prayed for the babies.  That why they sick.”  He hid his face in his knees and pulled his hood up.  Derek sat down beside him and pulled the little boy onto his lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Noah, the babies were born really little because they ran out of space in Emily’s tummy.”  Derek said softly, pulling the little boy’s hood off his head.  “You didn’t do anything wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked up at Derek and then Emily, sniffing and wiping his nose with the back of his hand.  “We gotted you presents, Emmy.”  Noah said seriously.  “And da babies.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see that.”  Emily said with a smile.  “Can I open them?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noah nodded and pulled the gift closer to Emily.  There was a soft blue nursing shirt, a pair of slippers, some onesies, and then two stuffed huskies.  Derek arched his eyebrows and looked at Mackenzie who shrugged.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go Huskies.”  She said with a laugh, a hand on her abdomen.  “Come on bud, let’s let Emily get some sleep.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The little boy nodded and hopped off the bed.  “I come back and see the babies, kay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, buddy.”  Derek said as he tucked Emily into bed.  He gave Taala and Mackenzie a smile as they headed out.  Emily grunted softly as she cuddled into the blankets.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to go home, Derek.”  She mumbled.  “To our bed.  Our home.  With our babies.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He leaned down and kissed her head, climbing into the other side of the bed.  “I know, Princess.  We will.  But right now you need to worry about getting better, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes were already closed before he finished.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0058"><h2>58. Outlaws</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Emily and Derek attempt to adjust to their lives of parents with babies in the NICU.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay, you guys get a chapter a few hours early.  My bestie and I are lining up at 7am to see if we can get our covid vaccines (we're teachers).</p><p>So...maybe?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won't adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is to sign on as its accomplice. Instead of vowing to honor and obey, maybe we should swear to aid and abet. That would mean that security is out of the question. The words "make" and "stay" become inappropriate. My love for you has no strings attached. I love you for free.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>― </span>
  <b>Tom Robbins, </b>
  <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/1105809">
    <b>Still Life with Woodpecker</b>
  </a>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think Derek and Emily will be upset?”  Spencer yelled over the noise of the contractors.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rossi shrugged as he sipped his coffee.  “Doubt it.”  Derek refused to come home, using the team as his delivery drivers.  The older man decided that since they weren’t going to be home for a while they wouldn't mind if he did some renovations.  The contractors he hired were quick and had already built the add on - a room that connected to both the nursery and the master bedroom.  For now it would be a room for Emily to nurse in, complete with a bar fridge, a sink, tv, and a comfortable nursing chair and an overstuffed chair.  When the twins got a bit older it could become a playroom, or even separate rooms.  But right now it was going to be a place that made Emily and Derek’s lives easier.  Heading downstairs with Matt, Luke, and Spencer in tow, Rossi nodded towards the food that was on the island and they started to pack it up to take to the hospital.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are the babies gonna be okay?”  Luke asked, breaking the silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Course they are.  Their parents are Derek and Emily.”  Rossi said, tugging on his jacket.  “And right now we keep telling them that.  They don’t need to hear us guessing.”  He said seriously.  “Happy face, be supportive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, they packed the bags and handed them to Rossi.  “You clowns stay here and make sure that things go okay.”  He turned and gave Fran a wide smile as she walked through the door.  “Let’s go see the grandbabies.”</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>The look on the doctors’ faces didn’t instill confidence and Derek tucked the blanket around Emily’s body as he wheeled her into the NICU.  He peered into the incubator seeing only one baby and looked back at Addison.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where’s Jennifer?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just getting a diaper change and getting her leads replaced.”  The doctor said guardedly.  “She can throw a fit with the best of them.”  She said with a small smile.  “The little stinker pulled off her leads and gave the staff a heart attack.  When the leads are off it shows that she flat-lined.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek couldn’t help but laugh softly and pressed a kiss to the top of Emily’s head.  “She is totally your daughter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily nodded silently, her eyes darting between the incubator and the doctor.  “What aren’t you telling us?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The doctor didn’t say anything and waited until the infant was back in the incubator.  “We need to do a cardio test on Jennifer.  I didn’t want to do it without one of you guys present.  She’ll sleep through most of it, but it’s always hard on parents.”  The doctor explained gently.  “I’m going to bring in my colleague to speak on this, she’s one of the best pediatric surgeons in the country.  I called her in to take a look at Jennifer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily stared at the doctor than at the incubator.  They were still SO tiny and they had SO many things going against them already and now THIS?  She rubbed her forehead with the heel of her hand and frowned.  Another doctor, blonde and perky and extremely reminiscent of their daughter’s namesake walked in and flashed them a smile full of dimples and pixie dust.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, I’m Arizona Robbins and I’m going to be the one who is going to check out Jennifer.”  She said brightly.  “Her oxygen levels are still at 100% and if you look closely, her little lips have a blue tinge to them, which means she’s not getting enough oxygen.  We can’t say for sure, but we’re going to look for a heart defect.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sitting down in an empty chair, Derek sighed and glanced at Emily who was still staring intently into the incubator.  “She’s so little…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The doctor sat down beside Emily and pulled out her phone.  “Emily, my daughter was born half of Jennifer’s size.  1 lb, 1 ounce.  She was 16 weeks early.”  She pulled up a picture of her daughter in an incubator.  “She had a brain bleed and then had to have heart surgery and you know what?  I was terrified, but I have an amazing five year old.”  She gave her a soft smile.  “This will be just a test, but I promise you, I am the best at my job and we will do everything for Jennifer, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When is her test?”  Emily managed to squeak out softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In about an hour.  I have to see two more patients, then I’ll be back.”  The blonde doctor promised.  “And it’ll give time for you to hold your babies and for the grandparents to see them.”  She said, giving Fran and Rossi a wave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fran walked in and gave them each a gentle hug.  “How are you guys doing?  How are my grandbabies?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek shrugged and got up, offering the chair to his mother.  “We’re okay, Ma.  Do you want to hold your grandbabies?”  He asked softly.  “Dave you can hold your namesake?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The older man gave them a crooked smile.  “I still can't believe you named your son after me.”  He said, his voice cracking slightly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily smiled, ther thumbnail in her mouth.  “We couldn’t think of a better man for our son to emulate.”  She said wincing as she tore the nail off to the quick.  “Sit down and the nurse will hand you a baby.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carefully the nurse picked up Jennifer and handed her to Fran, the baby tightly wrapped, and then passed David to Rossi.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re so tiny.”  Rossi mused as he held his namesake close to his chest.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily looked up at Derek and gave him a gentle smile, his hand squeezing her shoulder softly.  He looked over at his mom who was crying softly as she held Jennifer carefully.  “Ma?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine.”  She whispered, her lips brushing over the soft pink cap covering the newborn’s head.  She started to hum softly, rocking on the glider.  “They’re so sweet,”  She whispered, her eyes never leaving the infant in her arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You guys did a great job.”  Rossi added with a smile as he held the baby protectively.  They stayed there until the door opened and another nurse walked in, short hair and a bright smile.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m Louise.”  She introduced herself.  “Dr. Montgomery said that I would find you guys here.  Emily, I’m your lactation consultant.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily’s face flushed a bright red and glanced over at Fran and Rossi, neither of whom shifted.  Derek squeezed her shoulder and kissed her head.  “I think they’re okay here without us, I’ll come with you.”  His hand never left her shoulder as they wheeled back into their room.  It was weird, and slightly embarrassing but Emily was able to express eight ounces of breastmilk.  Louise smiled proudly and carefully labeled the bag.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great job, Emily.”  She said with a wide grin.  “I’ll come back in about five hours and we’ll do it all over again.  Breast milk will turn those babes into round little chubby darlings in no time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tugging on her shirt, Emily sat back down on the bed, exhausted.  “I hate this,” she mumbled, her hands shaking slightly as she tried to button up her top.  Derek sat beside her and finished buttoning her top.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re doing amazing, Emily.  Think, soon we’re going to be able to take our babies home.”  He leaned down and pressed a kiss on the top of her head.  They stayed like that, silent and gently wrapped up together until the door opened.  Dr. Robbins stood in the doorway and gave them a guarded smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re ready to do the scan on Jennifer.”  She said gently.  “It’s going to be quick and painless.  We’re going to take an ultrasound of her heart and her lungs and then if we need, we’re going to do a CT scan.  Again, quick and painless.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The parents shared a look and Derek helped Emily into the wheelchair.  She was exhausted and overwhelmed and was trying so fucking hard to keep it all together.  They had moved heaven and earth to have these babies.  They had done everything in their power to bring these babies into the world and here they were, going to see if there was anything wrong with their baby, well more wrong than she already was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Inhaling sharply, Emily wiped her eyes with the heels of her hands and straightened up.  She had to be strong.  She had to be strong for Derek, she had to be strong for her babies.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jennifer seemed even smaller as the doctor did the exam, the woman’s hands dwarfing her daughter’s tiny body.  The infant squirmed before her tiny arms and legs started flailing.  After a few moments, the doctor placed Jennifer back into the incubator and nodded as she wheeled her back to the NICU.  Derek pushed the wheelchair into the NICU and they quickly scrubbed their hands before they settled in the room that they started to know better than their own.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hold her, Derek.”  Emily whispered, her heart breaking as she watched the tiny girl struggle against the machines and tubes that were keeping her alive.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carefully Derek reached in and scooped up his daughter and held her to his chest.  The little girl squirmed, her hand fisting in his shirt.  He looked at Emily who gingerly got to her feet and stood behind him.  She held the infant before nodding.  “Take it off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His shirt was quickly stripped and Emily placed the wriggling infant on his chest, draping a blanket over the two of them.  Jennifer wiggled a little longer, her tiny fingernails digging into Derek’s skin until she relaxed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily sat back down in the wheelchair, staring at her husband and daughter, though not really seeing them, her mind elsewhere.  It wasn’t until a screaming alarm broke through the silence that Emily looked up.  Derek looked at Emily, panic written all over his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A nurse walked over and gently took the infant, replacing the leads and she carefully adjusted the ventilator tube.  She smiled at Derek and Emily and carefully placed the infant back on her daddy’s chest.  “She’s a wiggler and sometimes pulls her leads loose.  I’m also going to give her a bit more pain meds to make her comfortable. It’s not painful for them, but it’s uncomfortable.” She explained.  “Mama, want to hold baby David?”  She picked up the other baby and waited until Emily slowly unbuttoned her shirt before placing David on her chest.  Emily closed her top around her and the baby and closed her eyes, one arm protectively around her son. David snuffled softly and relaxed almost immediately.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was a mess of hormones, painkillers, grief and the overwhelming feeling of guilt.  Her babies, THEIR babies, were covered in tubes and wires.  They were only able to hold them for the briefest amount of time, the rest they stayed in their protective bubble and now Jennifer may have a heart condition.  She took a deep shaky breath, inhaling David’s baby scent mixed with the hospital, as she tried to calm herself.  Too soon they had to replace their tiny tiny infants back into the protective casing of the incubators and Derek pushed Emily out of the room.  The test results would be available tomorrow and they would have to deal with the outcome.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want for supper?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shrugged as she pulled herself up out of the wheelchair.  “Not really hungry.”  She admitted.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not really an option.”  He replied, helping her into the bed.  “You need food, especially because you’re breastfeeding.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anger flashed across Emily’s face and she pulled away from Derek.  “I’m not breastfeeding.  I’m pumping because our babies can’t feed by mouth yet.  I’m pumping because they’re too small.  They might not even survive because THEY’RE TOO SMALL!”  She finished, her voice loud and high pitched.  Tears ran down her face as her body shook violently.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey hey hey…”  Derek murmured softly, sitting beside his wife and pulling her into his arms.  “They’re in the best hands they can be, Emily.”  He whispered.  “I almost lost you too, right now I’m just as concerned about you as I am about them.  I don’t think I’d be able to go on without you.  Hell, I know I wouldn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her breathing hitched as she hiccupped, but her sobs quieted.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re going to get through this, Emily.  All four of us.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And yes, I fully realise that Addison and Arizona aren't out East, but I needed doctors and my class is OBSESSED with Grey's anatomy sooooo</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0059"><h2>59. Someone to talk to</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Derek calls in reinforcements to talk to Emily.  A truth about one of the women is revealed.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Even more, I had never meant to love him. One thing I truly knew - knew it in the pit of my stomach, in the center of my bones, knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest - was how love gave someone the power to break you”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>― </span>
  <b>Stephenie Meyer, </b>
  <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/3212258">
    <b>Twilight</b>
  </a>
</p><p>
  <span>Penelope walked into the room quietly, a bag of food in her arms.  She had gotten a panicked text from Derek saying that Emily was upset and he needed some food for the two of them.  She picked up Pho for Emily and a Pad Thai for Derek along with some juice and gingerale.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The room was quiet, Emily dozing on the bed, tear stain tracks down her cheeks and Derek sitting with her, his arm wrapped around her, his headphones on his head.  Penelope stepped into the room and gave him a small wave.  Derek smiled and gently woke Emily who rubbed her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I come bearing food.  Pad Thai for Daddy, and Pho for Mommy.”  She said with a bright smile.  “And Vietnamese spring rolls just because they’re amazing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blonde watched as Derek carefully opened the soup for his wife and placed it on the tray table.  She had never seen Emily like this.  So lifeless, so empty.  Emily’s dark eyes usually danced with mirth, or they were dark caverns full of troubled waters, but they were never like </span>
  <em>
    <span>this.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  He waited until Emily picked up the spoon and she took a few bites of the soup.  Derek gave Penelope a smile and nodded to the chair.  “Sit.”  He said softly, his eyes still flicking back to his wife, concern painting his features.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Penelope pulled up a chair and patted Emily’s leg as the other woman ate half a dozen spoonfuls of soup and a spring roll before closing it up.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks Garcia, but I’m not feeling up to eating.”  She said softly, her hands shaking as she tried to put the lid back on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you’re breastfeeding.”  Penelope said quietly.  “Twins nonetheless and it’s not like you need to lose a bunch of weight…”  She glanced and Derek whose eyes were firmly on his wife.  “I looked it up, you should be eating like 650 extra calories if you don’t have a lot of weight to lose and that’s just for one baby!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily shrugged and pulled the blanket up higher around her.  “That reminds me, I should pump again.  Derek, do you want to go get the nurse?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Penelope followed Derek out of the room and stood silent as Derek spoke to the nurse.  She gave him a concerned look and when Emily’s door shut, she gripped his hand and pulled him to an alcove where they could speak in privacy.  “Derek, what’s going on?”  Her blue eyes were wild with fear.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Derek dropped onto the bench, his head in his hands.  “She’s overwhelmed, babygirl.  She thinks that everything is her fault.  That they were born premature because of something she did.”  He didn’t move until he felt Penelope’s arm around his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s a lot of hormones flooding her body right now, and I’m sure she feels out of control.  Maybe talking to people who have done this before - having babies - I mean.”  Penelope suggested.  “I can call JJ and Mackenzie…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His large body leaned back against the wall and he ran his hand over his face.  “I just wish that I could do more.”  Derek said quietly.  “She was </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>upset, Garcia.  That she’s not really breastfeeding because David and Jennifer aren’t big enough yet.  That they may not survive because they’re too small.”  Tears leaked down his cheeks.  “I don’t know what to do to make it better.  She’s still recovering herself and I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> that this stress is going to make her sick.  On top of her not eating.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lips pressed against his temple and Penelope ran her hands down his back gently.  “It’s going to be okay, Derek.”  Penelope whispered softly.  “Things are going to get better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had been strong.  Strong for his wife.  Strong for his babies.  Strong for the team.  But even the strongest eventually cracked.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna text JJ and Mackenzie.”  Penelope said softly.  “Maybe they can talk to her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sat in silence until Emily’s door opened and the nurse walked out, two bags of breastmilk in her hands.  When they walked back into the room, Emily was curled up in the bed, her eyes tightly closed.  Penelope gave Derek one last hug before walking out, Derek toeing off his shoes and climbing into the hospital bed with his wife.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Emily frowned slightly seeing JJ and Mackenzie walk into her room, the younger woman’s arms full of food, JJ carrying a small cooler.  Mackenzie placed the food on the cot and gave Emily a wide smile.  “I figured you’d be sick of the food they serve here, and take out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ nodded and sat down on the bed beside Emily.  “Derek is in the NICU with Spencer and Luke, showing off his babies.  He’s peacocking around and telling them all about kangaroo care.”  She laughed softly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The younger woman pulled up a chair and pulled out a bag of cookies.  “Lactation cookies.”  She said with a grin.  “They’re tried and tested.  At least for me.  And there’s other real food in there too, but not gonna lie, the cookies are the real deal.  They helped me too when I was pumping.”  She placed the cookies on the tray table and exchanged a look with JJ.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How is pumping going anyway?”  The blonde asked softly, knowing full well how it was going.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily’s dark eyes fluttered up and they purposefully met JJ’s gaze and then Mackenzie’s.  “Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For what?”  JJ frowned, glancing at Mackenzie and then back at Emily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For not saying breastfeeding.  Because I’m not breastfeeding.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence washed over them and Mackenzie opened the bag of cookies and nudged them towards Emily.  “You will be soon, Emily.”  She said carefully.  “Babies are born premature all the time for no damn reason.  Right now, the thing you can do to help them is pump so they can be healthy.  Breast milk is best and once they’re big enough they can actually breastfeed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily picked up a cookie and took a tiny bite, her stomach grumbling.  JJ watched her carefully with Mackenzie filling the silence easily.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The best part about breastfeeding, well, besides you know, making sure that Noah was fed and all was that I could eat basically whatever I wanted and I still lost weight.”  Mackenzie said with a laugh.  “Taala said that I ate like a 12-year-old at a birthday party.” She looked over at Emily.  “I brought other stuff too.”  Her voice changed, a soft calming tone.  “It’s why we have the cooler.  It’s easier to eat all the time versus eating large meals.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily ripped off another piece of the cookie and chewed it slowly.  “I just...don’t feel like eating.”  She admitted slowly.  “I...I don’t feel like doing anything.  My heart hurts when I look at David and Jennifer in their incubators.  I feel like I let everyone down.  I let my family down.”  She put the cookie down.  “I can’t do anything right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, JJ wrapped her arms around her best friend.  “Emily, that is totally natural.  Trust me, when I first had Henry I cried for days.  It’s normal to feel overwhelmed.  It’s normal to feel helpless.  We’ve all felt like that.”  She said, giving her friend a squeeze then a smile.  “You’re full of hormones and painkillers and frankly going through more than anyone ever should, but we’re all here for you.  You don’t even need to ask, we’re here for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie nodded.  “Just…”  She picked at her fingernail before looking back at Emily and JJ.  “If you’re feeling depressed or really hopeless...please talk to someone.”  Her voice dropped to a whisper and she went back to examining her fingernails.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was turn for Emily and JJ to exchange worried looks and Emily turned to Mackenzie.  “I would never...hurt myself, Mackenzie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The younger woman gave a small one shouldered shrug and continued to pick at her nails.  “Trust me, it’s not something you plan out.”  She admitted softly.  “When Noah was first born, I wasn’t sure what to do.  I was overwhelmed with being a new mother, in pain and it wasn’t like Taala could take time off work.  At first I tried to do it all, cook, clean, feed Noah who by the way was a super needy baby and I sucked at all of them.  For a crazy Type A personality like me, it was too much.”  She chewed on the inside of her cheek before she exhaled loudly, her hands falling to her stomach.  “Thankfully Taala knew the signs and she found me someone to talk to.  I’m high risk now for postpartum depression since I had it with Noah so we’ve already set up appointments with the therapist I spoke to before.”  Her face relaxed and she gently traced her fingers over her abdomen.  “You aren’t in it alone.  Your body went through trauma, Emily you need to give it time to heal.  Having a baby is hard at the best of times, let alone two and then what happened afterwards.”  She adjusted herself on the chair before giving Emily a smile.  “It’s nothing to be ashamed of.  There’s a lot that happens in childbirth that no one ever talks about.  We all get caught up in the “miracle of life” that they forget to tell you the gross and painful parts.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>JJ laughed in agreement.  “1000%.  Like everyone talks about how amazing it is, but then you have to wear a diaper.”  She said leaning her head against her friend’s temple.  “We’ve been through it, not the having babies in the NICU part, but the giving birth part.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie nodded and nodded towards the cooler on the floor.  “So please, eat.  I know it doesn’t feel important right now, that you want to look after yourself just as much as you need to look after those babies.”  She said quietly.  “They don’t have any immune system, </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> are their immune system.  Your breastmilk is, and if you don’t eat your supply will dwindle.”  She said bluntly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a lot of information to take in, but deep down Emily knew the truth.  She knew that she had to eat, she had to sleep, she had to get healthy, but it seemed so so hard.  Everything was so hard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tears welled up and she used the collar of her shirt to dab at the corner of her eyes.  “Fucking hormones.”  Emily muttered under her breath.  She calmed herself and looked at her friends.  “I’ll do my best, but part of me...I don’t want to get better because I don’t want to leave.  I want to be with them.  I NEED to be with them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie nodded and chewed on the inside of her cheek.  “I guess it all depends on how long you’re going to be in here for.  You lost a lot of blood Emily.”  She reasoned softly.  “But there’s also the Ronald McDonald house that’s right across the street from the hospital.  I know it’s not </span>
  <em>
    <span>super</span>
  </em>
  <span> far from our places but we live in Fairfax, the hospital is in Bethesda.  It’s still commuting..  Do you get some time off?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily opened her mouth before being cut off by JJ.  “About that.  So, we figured that you guys wouldn’t have the time to look into leaves and what not - so we sent Matt and Tara.  They still like them.  Anyway, Tara was able to convince them that you needed more than the 12 weeks of maternity leave they give most agents.  So you have 28 weeks of paid maternity leave and then we piled our sick and vacation days together if you want more, and I know that Derek’s agents did the same thing for him.”  JJ shrugged.  “You guys need the time with your babies and you need to get healthy without worrying about finances.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y...I need to thank Tara and Matt.  And all of you guys.”  Emily said quietly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right now you and Derek need to worry about getting better and your babies.”  JJ said softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie nodded in agreement.  “Let us know if you guys need help.  I promise you that we’ll contain my chaos engine.”  She pulled out a container of hummus and homemade pitas.  “Enough talking, more eating.  Also, you’re gonna need to drink a lot of fluids.  It’s surprising how much you lose breastfeeding.  And you’re going to be breastfeeding two of Derek Morgan’s offsprings right away.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For the first time since giving birth, Emily laughed.  Her nose crinkled, her laughter soft, but real.  “Thanks, guys.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tossing a water bottle onto the bed, Mackenzie shrugged.  “No problem.  But honestly, I get it that things suck right now but you and Derek have two beautiful babies that need you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Emily uncapped the water and took a small sip.  It wasn’t much but it was a start.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Derek came back and found Emily and JJ on the bed flipping through her iPad and Mackenzie dozing on the chair.  The two women on the bed looked up and JJ flashed him a small thumbs up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wouldn’t be fixed right away, he knew, but any improvement was good improvement and seeing Emily’s smile for the first time in forever made his heart a little bit lighter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mackenzie woke and snatched the cookies before he was able to grab one and shook her head.  “These aren’t for you unless you plan on breastfeeding.”  She teased getting to her feet.  Looking at Emily, she gave her a bright smile.  “Remember what I said, Em.”  She said softly.  “I’m gonna go say goodbye to the twins before I leave.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, JJ pressed a kiss on the top of Emily’s head before getting up.  “I’ll come too.  Get me some mini baby cuddles.  You feel better, Mama.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emily watched as her two friends left and her husband warily eyed up the cookies.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Feeling a bit better, Princess?”  He climbed into the bed, Emily leaned against him and inhaled deeply.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A bit.”  She smiled and pressed a kiss to his shoulder.  “Mackenzie brought over a ton of food.”  She said softly.  “Just don’t touch the cookies, they’re to improve lactation.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His face screwed up slightly and he shook his head.  “I’ll leave those to you and Mackenzie.”  He smiled and kissed her temple softly.  “I love you, Emily.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.”  She looked up and gave him a bright smile.  “I love you too, Derek.”</span>
</p>
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